I'm enraged on your and your husband's behalf.
Get a super saver ticket and hop on down to The Big Easy. They're likely having their end of summer sale on those adorable handmade folk art dolls. You know the ones. If not, then just pay full price. Grab a couple and then treat yourself to some beignets. When you get home, hit the beauty supply for some wig pins (you still have to go thru TSA don't forget). A few candles, some incantations, and well, you can guess the rest. I can say this in polite company.
Low effort, effective, and no DNA or prints.
If not, I've given you a writing prompt.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.