MichaelS36

It was borne from love. I think now if you ask him, he would agree he is proud of doing it. he could have simply listened to me and accepted that I'd go to the doctor sometime. I am grateful he didn't wait because frankly I had some rather bad symptoms I was set on ignoring. When it was tested my blood sugar was very high. tim likely saved my life...his bravery then was a huge gift to me. I will not put him in that place again. I don't miss my appointments.

I am sorry to hear that. Let me know if I can help. Thank you, my girl.

Good. Good. You are. I'd add an emoji but, they are not me.

You're right about the internet. I know too well about that. I worked on the child abuse squad for several years when I was a Detective. I saw more and read more than I will ever be able to forget. It can be an unhealthy place. I think we need to take a step back sometimes, perhaps ask; what do you mean? Not that I am perfect or not guilty of not doing that. I have. But I am always willing to listen and I will admit when I'm wrong. I would like to put this behind us and just move on with things. That is my hope. Thank you Ashi, for your friendship and support.

Thank you, rick. For caring and your steady support.

You do remember correctly. I am a lucky man. Thank you Reader.. as always.

I'm somewhat calmer today. And I appreciate all the support and comments. Thank you, chris.

I figured it would be boring..LOL. and thanks for your support... its never wavered and I appreciate it.

I really hate being up at this time when I do not have to be. However, I want it understood I am not attacking or blaming anyone … people say they want to understand … well it's there. Questions are welcome if anyone has any. tim wrote this poem … it says so much about us, and really who he is: Out Today we went shopping you and me. We met an older man. He was not pretty, but I won’t be if I live so long. You talked to him like You do, so easily so openly; while I stand quietly afraid to trip over my tied tongue. You said something about, my husband, and he looked at each of us then. I am so thinking, here it comes. - me with little faith in my straight brothers - He smiled and said: Oh, how wonderful! And we stood, the three of us in Best Buy, speaking of English TV and detective shows. As you do.

Thank you, chris.

Who W/we Are First if I am out of bed at this god-forsaken time something is on my mind. Right now, it is the feeling I must defend who and what tim and I are, and how we live. I likely don’t. This will likely be repetitive. But I don’t care. Better out, than in! I am a Dom. A Dominant man. I have a boy … who is my submissive. That does not mean only that I take the dominant role in sex. Our lifestyle is one of Dominance and submission, it is a partnership. tim, my boy, is the most important person in my life. My role is to care for him, mentally and physically. I love and cherish the person he is. tim is submissive because it is natural for him to be. To him, I am his teacher, his lover, caregiver, I give him shelter from the storms of life. he knows he can run to me and I will protect him. I make most of the decisions in our life. tim and I discuss things, but the ultimate choice belongs with me. My responsibility. If the truth be told, tim does not want the responsibility. I do things, expect things that I know make him grumble mostly to himself, sometimes to his friends. That’s fine, he a human being. For example, I usually select his clothes, tell him when to get a haircut and how I want it. Why? tim is an introvert. If left to his own devices he’d grow his hair to hide behind and wear clothes two sizes too big. he is a handsome man, I am proud of him and enjoy having him beside me, so I care how he looks. he likes that I make these decisions for him. tim is quiet, he stammers when he’s forced to talk especially to strangers. Writing is a different thing. Writing frees his mind and makes it easier for him to communicate. It is tim’s nature to care for others. he is empathetic, but often takes on too much of other’s hurt. Until he is hurting. His past most of you know about, the abuse he suffered during those years still haunts him. It left him with PTSD, nightmares, depression and HIV. Conflict is difficult. Before I was diagnosed, tim worried about symptoms I was displaying. Over and over he asked me to see a doctor. I told him there was nothing to worry about. This went on for a while, until it became too much for him. tim my quiet, beautiful husband finally raised his voice to me. Told me, didn’t ask, in no uncertain terms that if I was his Sir, his Dom that it was my responsibility to look after myself, so I could look after him. That few minutes cost tim a lot. It was totally out of his comfort zone, not who he is at all. In that few minutes, I was shocked, slightly angry. But then I saw, I had messed up. I had forced him to do this thing. I hadn’t paid attention. tim saw a huge empty, black place ahead, if something happened to me. Which I never thought about. He was so afraid, he yelled at me. I went for tests, brought him with me for the results. I have diabetes. his bravery likely saved my life. subs are brave, loving people. I am grateful for mine every day. As a Dom what do I get out of this? I am fulfilled because I look after tim. I protect him, let him be who he is. D/s is about control. But it is rarely loud. Our D/s scene/play is quiet. Quiet because being quiet takes control. Breathing is controlled, there is no moaning, groaning or begging. There is silence as much as possible. Sometimes sex is involved, often it is not. Being a Dom means you are aware, flexible, you need to be able to read your sub and understand them. Here is where things become murkier. D/s can involve S&M, bondage and other fetishes. It depends on the couple. For some those things are never part of their lives. That is why when people who have zero idea about D/s write it, they get it wrong. They do not see the interactions, do not understand the little everyday things that make us who we are. Sex? We have sex like all Gay couples. I am a top, tim a bottom. Because I am a Dom I normally control things. Sometimes that includes allowing tim to come or not, it includes what we do, how we do it. But sometimes I let tim decide. I know he enjoys exploring my body so I let him. It’s fun for us both. Finally, we do not choose to be what we are; we do not turn it off and on. Like being Gay, it is NOT a choice. We simply are. Just a little more … tim wrote this about a trip to the store .. in it he refers to me.. but it really says so much about him. Out Today we went shopping you and me. We met an older man. He was not pretty, but I won’t be if I live so long. You talked to him like You do, so easily so openly; while I stand quietly afraid to trip over my tied tongue. You said something about, my husband, and he looked at each of us then. I am so thinking, here it comes. - me with little faith in my straight brothers - He smiled and said: Oh, how wonderful! And we stood, the three of us in Best Buy, speaking of English TV and detective shows. As you do.

I will have more to say. However, it will be after I sleep and consider. But I will say D/s is NOT a sexual thing. It is a way of life. A lot of it is simple. It is not loud, or macho bs. Anyway, enough.

@Renee Stevens thank you. I am going to go for the night. I hope you all have a good evening.

Don't worry, mollypop… understandable.

Our lifestyle is a beautiful thing. My frustration is that no matter that we have this place. No matter that we are willing to share with people who are interested, we are still the butt of jokes, still the entertainment, still the joke. You cannot say or write these things about Black people, or women or other genders, but it is okay to write them about me and people like me. Normally, I say nothing. But frankly I have had enough. If you cannot deal with it, I'm no longer going to apologize. If you want to be here, and you want to know us, you are welcome. If you don't, the door is there behind the strong young man on his knees.

That's us.. entertainment. Your guys.. were written wonderfully. It made perfect sense. I am tired of people thinking and writing that our lifestyle is about is sex. It is WRONG. I am out of here.

50 shades of grey is a D/s story too … it's not remotely life like. Like most stories written about our Lifestyle. If you have a real interest I hope you will refer to people who actually live it.

I know.. sometimes I know you look at my mom … missing your own for so many years. My boy, you will always have her, in your boundless heart.

Mac's right. We don't need to make life harder, it does a good enough job on its own.

Congratulations! 🎂 and Happy Birthday!

Wayne, good luck with your home repairs. Mac, good to see you. Blood work tomorrow to see if they can figure this fg dizziness, I am plagued with. The lab is across the street...no driving. Have a good night.

We'll shit! I'd drink the wine too.

Mine has been a bit ... forward, shall we say? he will be feeling my thoughts on that for a few days!

I don't think so, Mac. We'd tie up the subs and go for a drink!

Yeah, I am not a tall and skinny. Good night all.