FanLit

Under his father's own roof, no less.

I don't trust Tommaso. His big brother disdain aside: "Matteo’s fingers tightened on the arm of his chair. “So the Holy Father plots against us while blessing us from the altar.” "Ludovico gave a thin smile. “You are learning the ways of men, nephew. God may be eternal, but His vicar keeps a ledger.” "Tommaso bristled. “Speak carefully, uncle. We owe respect to the Holy See.” Does Giovanni predict the future in his own home?: "He leaned forward, eyes hard. “So when you drink with Lorenzo’s friends, remember: we stand beside him not only for profit, but survival. Sixtus sows discord, turns families against each other, poisons loyalty. Every sotto voce intrigue in the market may carry his breath.” Matteo speaks with the headlong zest of impassioned youth not yet tempered by sobering experiences, hopefully his father and Uncle Ludovico can rein in and perhaps channel that energy to their benefit. Giovanni is a man who keeps his ear to the ground and his nose in the air, to stay ahead of changes that can positively or negatively affect his family & their livelihood, so it's not surprising that he at least suspects the true nature of the relationship between his son and young Mr. Colonna: “And as for your companion,” Giovanni said, voice cool. “The Colonna boy. It is well enough for a man to hunt and spar with his friends, but appearances matter. Gossip is a weed that strangles faster than ivy. Do not give it root.” He paused. "I have buried gossip before, and not all of it rumor." This begs the question: is he tolerant of his son's preference or will he subsist in plausible deniability, only forced to deal with it if he has to? Does he turn a blind eye because Matteo is yet unmarried? What do Ludovico and Tommaso suspect of the two young men & how will that manifest itself in the future? Lauretta may be a "girl of rank and virtue" but I hope she's also nice; arranged marriages, while not generally steeped in romantic connections, would no doubt survive close scrutiny if the wedded parties like each other or at least get along. It is interesting that Gianluca & Tommaso both seem to be ruled by their faith: "Gianluca’s brow furrowed. “Sixtus is the Holy Father.”....“You speak as though faith were tyranny,” Gianluca said, voice taut. “The Pope is God’s Vicar. To defy him is to defy the divine order.”.... "Heretical" behavior aside, how then does Signore Colonna reconcile his desire for Matteo with the Holy Roman Catholic Church? Gianluca remains a wildcard in all of this to this point, time will tell where his loyalties lay.

Your words transport back in time, making this time period as much a character of the story as the people it envelopes. At first, I thought Danilo's grumblings meant he was envious of Matteo, then realized given the treacherous environment they inhabit, he might just be the most loyal to him: "A burst of muffled laughter followed, and Giuliano turned, eyebrows raised. “By the saints, Matteo, where did you find such a saucy varlet?” Matteo laughed ruefully. “He found me. Wandered into our kitchens one winter night, half-starved and wholly insolent. Bit the steward, insulted my mother, stole a loaf of bread. We tried to throw him out, but he refused to go.” Giuliano laughed. “And you kept him?” “He kept himself,” Matteo clarified. “Like a feral cat that decides which house it owns.” Danilo lifted his cup. “And I bite only those who deserve it.” Giuliano clapped Matteo’s shoulder. “Keep him close. Florence breeds flatterers faster than friends. A man who bites might yet save your life.” Danilo has appointed himself Matteo's steward but at what cost? Surely he surmises the connection between his liege and Gianluca, does he approve? Does his loyalty and protection come from a fraternal or romantic source? If it's romantic, will there be a cost in jealousy somewhere down the line? “Bravery and folly often share a bed,” said Matteo softly. The intrigue runs thick in this chapter, and I haven't even touched upon the presence of the house of Medici, lol. An enjoyable chapter which whets the interest for more.

You shared in “Within”, the sweet reminisces of an idyllic summer, innocent (yet charged) memories that awoke within you a road I don’t know if you were ready to travel at that time, yet within you from then on, lay the path inevitable to you. In “If Only”, your lyrical self flagellation over letting a love go is bracingly haunting: you look within the mirror of truth and take accountability for what is, while the longing for what was slivers through. “Lessons”- “Pride goest before the fall”, to learn that once should be enough…. maybe for a rare few it is; it has not been so for me, nor apparently for you. What a contemplative group of poems, Gary; I hope the generation and sharing of them gave surcease to the disquiet of your thoughts, even if temporarily. 🍻

It says so much about Rob's love for Mark that THE face of U-N-I wants to push for Mark to have this attention. 💝

This chapter confirms that even though the group is centered around both Mark and Rob, it is Mark who is the soul of the group....maybe because he had the abusive dysfunctional childhood, it gives him a depth that the others can't have simply because while they have supported him through it (and what a great support system they've been) they haven't walked in his pain. He could be a lead singer, in the group or as a solo act but that is not what he wants, he's far more comfortable behind the scenes & as part of a whole. "I just want to give him a hug … that's what we all need, someone to hug us so tight that all of our broken pieces stick back together. Please, Robbie, give him a million hugs for us." I loved this line-hugs as the adhesive of love. "Sometimes I feel like great artists have something broken in their soul to be able to see the world in such a unique way, and that’s what makes their work so special. It’s heartbreaking, but at the same time… it’s so beautiful." There is growth in trials and tribulations and a specific beauty that suffering can inspire.

Your words are noted & if my comment offended in any way, I sincerely apologize. I'm aware bisexual people exist (as one of many sexual identities) and am totally okay if Daniel is one; I also know that there are people who, when trying to fit into the "architecture" of an existence, can suppress true feelings, that is the impression I had of Daniel, given his "vivid" exploration of one side of the coin over the other. I referenced Daniel as a bottom due to his reaction of his encounter with Malik-it was an awakening for him that he seemed to revel in being dominated, maybe that was because he was always expected to be in control & the release of that was liberating. At this point, I think I will quit while I'm ahead (or trying to make up for falling behind). Once again, I am sorry if I offended you.

"The freedom is the core. Not the bisexuality.... " Bisexuality? I don't mean to sound superficial because it doesn't matter in the end but in this eighteen month excavation, Daniel really likes having sex with men; Nora & his dating past might lend to the bisexual label but now I'd say he's gay & a bottom at that, his sexual dynamic with Max, notwithstanding. Of course, I await whatever the last chapter reveals one way or the other. Another interesting observation I never had the chance to mention-Nora's older than Daniel, not by much, but older; I wonder if that had any influence on him one way or the other.

Thank you. 🙏

I agree with the you about the cruelty and “Giveth and taketh away”. “Daniel stood there, on a Roman street, in a shirt that smelled like turpentine and skin and felt the last eighteen months of his life rearrange themselves around a single, silent, devastating piece of information that the universe had chosen to deliver in a park, on a bench, in the middle of the only happy morning he had experienced in a year. Because apparently the universe, like Rome, has no sense of timing. And an unerring sense of truth.” Having emerged from the roughest, sloppiest, chrysalis to find his first footing in the name of peace- blessed, coveted, peace in 18 months, only to have it obliterated with the sight of his obsession is cruel, to me. One has to wonder if this is in fact the final part of this “bumpy night” (😉 to you @CasualWanderer82 ). If this is the last part of a permanent change, maybe he needed that brief taste of peace to properly handle whatever this Malik sighting is supposed to bring him….interesting that it’s mentioned that Daniel’s wearing a shirt (Max’s shirt) that smells of turpentine and skin-is he already in the complete “skin” he should be in? Will the smell of the turpentine help remove any illusions for a clearer picture? Oh and a side note: “No,” Alec managed, wiping his eyes. “I didn’t. But…I’d definitely fuck you again. Standing offer. Expiration date: never. Terms: flexible. HR implications: catastrophic.” ????? “Alec’s hands had not been tentative with Nora since the first Tuesday night in the penthouse, and the months since had removed whatever molecular traces of caution might have survived the transition from arrangement to exclusivity.” You better clear those “terms” with your woman, Alec and if she says no, you and your dick better stay on her side of the street. 😬

Is he, though?

Sonata- “You’re the most interesting project I’ve ever worked on. I’m not done.“ Much to Daniel’s everlasting luck. When you have a Sonata in your life, you keep her; she’s as valuable as Nora & Margot, some might argue more. “Malik looked straight into his eyes. Something in his poise faltered, ripping through a surface usually held glass-still. He spoke almost under his breath, as if the words had slipped past the part of him that curates. "I can see why she fell in love with you." “Malik leaned forward, lips brushing Daniel's ear as he pressed his cock against that tight ring of muscle. "I wish..." he whispered, voice wavering slightly. "I wish..." he reiterated, words trailing off like smoke.” Malik's hands roamed Daniel's body, gripping his hips, his waist, his ass. His lips trailed hot, biting kisses along Daniel's neck, his shoulders, his spine, marking him in ways that would linger long after this night was over. "You're mine," he snarled between thrusts, his voice raw with possession. "Mine." Allllllll a dat can be still be true while his babies call him “Papà”. Malik went off script in his interactions with Daniel, he came back to himself and concluded business properly “I hope the service met your expectations," he said, each word placed like a glass on a tray. "You were clear about scope. I honored it. Consent was maintained. Boundaries held. There are no loose ends." He buttoned the last button. "You contracted Nox," he went on, softer and somehow barer for it. "Not a friend. Our engagements are finite by design. No repeats. No reach-outs. This is where our transaction ends." He paused, the smallest fracture in the smoothness. "You won't see me again." It is telling that Malik was no longer working for Nox when Daniel tried to find him, I remember the spiel about investigations and dismissals but that could’ve been cover….Malik has also had 18 months distance & two babies to keep him occupied, I still attest to an unexpected connection on Malik’s part as well.

Kindred comment spirits, lol. 🥂

"And two people who had spent their lives being the supporting cast in other people’s stories sat together on a cold stone bench and began, quietly, without fanfare, without a gala or a foundation or a name on a wall, the only story that had ever been theirs.' I love this for them....Nora Voss has a nice ring to it; this will be a deeper, richer relationship for Nora than the one she had with Daniel, I can envision them as parents, creating their own family. I can't speak too much on Edward's Parkinson's because I spent the last three years of my mother's life taking care of her while it took her....She's been gone three years and four months & the wound is still too raw. “I’m glad,” she repeated, and the repetition was for herself, the way it’s okay had been for herself on the night he couldn’t finish, but this repetition was not a lie trying to become true. It was a truth that needed to be said twice to be fully believed by the person saying it. “You deserve the voice that changes, Daniel. You deserve the person who makes you breathe. And the fact that the person isn’t me doesn’t mean I failed. It means…the room changed shape. Like I asked it to.” When Nora asked the room to change shape, she didn't realize it would be make or break, or maybe she did; she just knew their status quo was unsustainable for a happy future. "And their story was ending, and the ending was not a tragedy but a choice, made with love, and the love was the one thing that survived." “Thank you,” she said. “For what?” “For saying yes. When I asked for the room to change shape.” She looked at him. Daniel looked back. “Thank you,” he said, “for asking.” ⬆️⬆️ This is what made the love they have for each other survive, had things gone on as it were, Nora would have grown to hate Daniel & he would have remained repressed and unhappy. The humanizing of Margot allows me to sympathize with her plight, she did what was expected of her the best she could....I also understand where Daniel's coming from, expecting him to go back to who he was is like trying to push toothpaste back in the tube. I think Philip will surprise them all, lol.

The humanization of Margot was touchingly well done. I understand this new dynamic with Alec would involve the three of them but I must admit I wanted it more for Nora, as it seemed Alec held a tendre for her for years which her husband directed & she deserved the attention after Daniel’s sexual defection….each encounter is different- is this the threesome Nora originally wanted? Will Alec favor Daniel more than Nora now? Is it still necessary to find “GameChanger”? (my vote is yes) Is Max in love? Oh what a privilege it is to witness the lives of the privileged….

Too true. The title of this story of “The Malady of Hunger” Malady • noun 1/ A disease or disorder of the animal body. 2/ An unwholesome or disordered condition. Either definition fits Daniel right now. The one side note that made me smile (rather big, lol) was when Daniel hung up on his mother….Brilliant, though Mrs. Margot Beaumont won’t let that be unaddressed for long, nope.

There is so much I’ve thought yet haven’t said in reading previous chapters, this chapter compels me to say this: please be careful, Daniel, your search for and substitution of Malik (if that’s his real name) is exposing you to disease and danger that would create another wrinkle in time, a complication that could splinter your whole existence (unless of course in @CasualWanderer82‘s world, all indiscriminate sex is disease and danger free). The evolution of Daniel 2.0 elicits many feelings-verbs and adjectives, assessments and theories….overriding them all after this chapter, is hurt: I hurt for Daniel’s hurt. Will he and Malik (a.k.a. “GameChanger”) ever be reunited? What will the reality of that look like if they are? Wishing Daniel peace but knowing he doesn’t have it yet. 😞💔

This was a nice glimpse back into the “regular” lives of the group as they were not touring extensively and expanding their families….HaHa to Rachel getting her revenge with that game. “It had been the worst three weeks of my life, and I knew for certain, the worst three weeks of Rob's life as well. But now, I was okay; I had fully recovered and I was almost thankful for what had happened to me because it had brought Rob and I the best gift life can give – our child.” A little reminder from chapter 33 (if the muses should inspire, since you’re sharing snippets of life here and there). 🙂

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ To paraphrase from the great “Casablanca” : Of all the classrooms, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into his. I'm very glad Paul Rudnick and Sergeant Robson get a thousand more days together….Paul passed Sarah’s muster & even enlisted Tyler as a co-conspirator, impressing Rob in the process. Rob’s marriage gives me shotgun wedding vibes, then, in for a penny, in for a pound, four kids later (one observation of several this story brought up). “This year was going to be a handful.” A very good handful (or two, lol). Thank you for leaving us with them, here. 🎁

This chapter had a lot going on. I chose the “love” reaction, but it was really a combination of “love”, “wow” and “sad”. ”The hyper-masculine dirty talk, the possessiveness, the shared, quiet understanding of what it meant to take care of your people—it was real. Rob wasn't just draining the plumbing, and Paul wasn't just a convenient release valve. There was a profound, suffocating vulnerability there that neither of them was equipped to handle.” And since they can’t handle it, they have to pretend it doesn’t exist….(?) I half expected Paul to bump into Wifey and the platoon in the lobby. Great interest on how this will end.

That sounds like Rob will put the brakes on whatever this is; the intensity of his feelings could be a threat to the status quo of his life, which he happens to like-it’s clearly important to him that he be the full time, present leader of his familial unit until they are grown & I don’t think he’ll allow anything to threaten that. Que Será Será…. It’ll be bittersweet but understandable, if that’s the outcome; either way, Rob and Paul have made a definitive impact on each other.

I’m torn between this being a memory both could look back fondly on in the future or the beginning of something more permanent (it’s clearly already more meaningful). Rob is a true alpha, a commanding, take no shit kind of guy and comfortable enough in his own skin that he has no problem showing appreciation, sensitivity and vulnerability….I'd dare say he’s half in love already (is there anything wrong with having a steady “understanding”? ) I’m still trying to figure out Paul-I think he’s just as attracted and overwhelmed by Rob as we are; kudos to him indeed for being there for his sister, niece and nephew…. I think Rob would enjoy meeting Paul’s family and vice versa. What the heck is gonna happen at the Lamb & Flag at 10 p.m.? (or 22:00, if we’re doing military time)….exactly who’s bedtime is that going to be & how much sleeping will be involved?

This is great!! And seeeexxxxyyyy.

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ 🙏 🙏 I can deal with tested love, I cannot deal with memorialized love, not with these two.