Krista

Thanks for the insight, myself, I thought it would be more like that. The swimming is more instinctual, harnessed and more effective with repetitive training. I use his swimming as a tool some to create tension and such - that may not be realistic to how a swimmer may think, feel, or see under the water. Otherwise, I don't like writing my character to be so cocooned, mostly I have the mindset that people wouldn't want to read the swimming parts without that tension, mental aspects, inner-dialog, etc. I would struggle with the writing more than do when I write those part, for sure. lol. And yeah, two guys their age probably would be doing that, every chance they got.

She probably overlooked that passage.

Jackson suddenly showing up to church, after Cindy making it clear she wanted space between her son and him? Wouldn't that have been rather telling, although, it could have opened up a lot of dynamic opportunities. I also don't know if Luke could explain his insistence to moving out and into Grace's house. I don't know if the.. "you've become suffocating with your hovering..." explanation would have been enough. He could have simply said it is none of your business, but moving out in that manner would have closed the door on his relationship with her - which mind you, could still be on its way to happening anyway. And yeah, I personally wouldn't want someone else giving my child a phone or such things of that nature. Not without discussing it with me and us coming to an agreement. That is with any large or extravagant sort of gift though, not just in this context.

Oh, I had to read up to see what Grace did in this chapter to be over the top. I mostly did that for giggles, but I don't know... I wouldn't want to walk into my own home and find one of my children showering with... their other half. I would have reacted differently, I hope... and to not embarrass them past the point they already and most definitely are. But... I doubt I'd be "the cool Mom.." either. lol

I've defended Cindy some, noting that the Cindy they're seeing is the Jackson induced one. That she may well be a great mother, one that Luke should easily love and respect at home when Jackson isn't factored in. That Henry loves his wife for those same reasons and she's not a total stone cold bitch. I mean, she may turn into one eventually, and Jackson certainly thinks so and we're reading his view of her without being a fly on the Clarke household's wall.

I couldn't have their day disrupted by one of them flying off the ass-end of a horse.. 😮 Especially Jackson, that would have ended his hopes and dreams then and there. But... the mental picture of doing so.. and it not ending badly, might have been worth it. And I cannot remember when the two attempt to make babies.. we're well into the story now though.

There is a perception that it is better to keep biting criticism to the Private messenger system, sure. But, if you feel that you have some criticism to offer don't be afraid to say it. Authors shouldn't be afraid to read it, growth is important and no writer or piece of writing is perfect or immune. I would be aware of tone, usage, and such when offering criticism. Obviously stating: "I found the writing immature and I didn't finish this story," - isn't all that constructive as it doesn't explain why you thought the writing was immature. So, if you're not willing to be critical in that way, then yes, I would keep it to the Messenger system. I personally don't mind criticism in either place. I do like when people do a sort of in-depth or open discussion critical assessment of my writing to use the PM system, because I can more easily come back to it without noting the chapter, sifting through other comments to find it, etc. Also, if I found a lot of value in the criticism, I may do follow-up questions or commentaries with the reader if they are still actively reading. Or you can always wait until the Authors are revealed to do a critical follow-up wherever you feel most comfortable. Most people do feel more comfortable giving critical assessments privately as well. Some Authors only want critical assessments done privately, so knowing the author does help and waiting may help you decide which tools you'd like to use. I suggest keeping a document, if you want to hold off on your criticism until after the event is over so all your thoughts and assessments remain fresh and you're not attempting to rehash it all from memory. ---- Oh... and this isn't me outing myself as one of these current authors or authors still to come. I may or may not have participated.

Thank you! And I do appreciate the bits of knowledge you have shared with me. Swimming wasn't even a radar sport where I grew up. If it wasn't the big three.. you didn't play it. Now most schools have Volleyball - which was new when I was in school to our district. Swimming, Soccer, Tennis... I'm envious of the growth my state has done.

Thank you for the insight on how early season swimming would have actually gone. It has been eye-opening. Which makes me wonder how off-base I actually have been with everything else. I can see where a coach would fill a schedule for conditioning, and to gauge where the swimmer is in comparison to what else is out there.

Yes, I find it unfair for people to say, "You should come out, you'll be accepted.." when they're looking at it from the outside point of view. I know of someone who had a totally supportive friend - who was too positive for their own good - they couldn't fathom anything negative happening to the closeted person. So they did mention it to another friend, who took it the wrong way. It got back to that person's mother and the mother didn't take it well either. It caused a lot of anxiety that wasn't necessary if the person was allowed to do it on their terms. So I would never condone it, I wrote it in this part to be slightly light-hearted and a bit whiny from Toby, because his girlfriend wasn't in the know.. and Derek's was. I didn't do as much research into individual schedules on the high school level. I know they typically have fuller slates, with more relays and more swims, etc. Since I like to write him performing all of his events, I wanted to limit him... so it limited me. Charlie I do mention has a fuller schedule, he isn't part of the relay team though. They also swim in yards here in the US at the high school level and in smaller pools, so Jackson should have been doing more laps per swim. Swimmers also do more running, strength training, stretching, cardio, and actual weight lifting than I've ever had Jackson doing as well. I thought about adding the Mixed relays, since that was recently added to the Elite level and have Shay, Tara, Jackson, and Drae swimming that one. I never did though.

It is funny how scary girls can be... I am raising four children. Two girls and two boys.. and the two girls terrify me. I'm being told it is paybacks.. but.. mercy.

I actually learned about that late. I think most college baseball programs also hand out partial scholarships as well. Jackson's parents make more than enough money to help him finance, and he makes good enough grades to probably receive academic scholarships as well. He did lose his scholarship, but I'm also thinking in this part of the story, the school downsized the program too and he lost his spot on the team as well? I may not be remembering correctly though, even if I have read this story in full a couple times.

I like when I get new readers who comment on chapters. But, it does make me edgy when I respond to them, as I already know everything that happens.. and how scenarios play out. lol. I want everything to be organic. Although, Jackson making a fake gmail.. he'd have to work it out to where Welker reads it when he's in the room.. or else, I feel it would be a wasted moment for him. lol.

I told the mans to watch out and not to get stampeded. Or.. maybe I told him to.. 'get stampeded..'

I like to think both have been in Luke all this time.. I wouldn't want him to lose the latter as that is who he is...

You can thank @wildone the Wildthing for that cliffhanger. He told me it was a nice stopping point and cliffhanger wouldn't hurt anybody. I was fully committed to giving you the entire second half of the meet this chapter. And, I am glad the inclusion of Oliver allows another possible outcome to enter the chat. Staying with Luke... means staying in the home town. It was his goal to take his swimming as far as he could and to get out of their small town. Even if Luke is still up in the air, those goals are still very much a part of Jackson's make-up. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that... again, I think the boy learned from the last two errors. Slacking off and losing his first scholarship, then not opening the recruiting packages being the two examples. I mean... sometimes you think, "well at least he has his looks..." when it comes to him. lol. I too am excited to get to Luke's Monday plans. I 'think' y'all will like them.

Yeah, despite their forced proximity, if Jackson didn't have feelings at all - there would be zero growth. Luke would have just been his "ride.." and nothing would have been said between them. They had built a tolerable relationship that got vulnerable here. I liked writing the kiss.. and I liked that Luke initiated it.

Actually, yes. Stylistically speaking, he would have shown more pride within the school to speak its name there. Especially since he felt he was well liked and... I wouldn't say.. "ruled the school.." even if he did call it.. "my.." and not "the.." or just formally saying the school's name. In hindsight, if I had this story to do over again - I would have had them knowing one another when they were younger. There would have been a time where both parents would have forced the relationship. I can recall stating that Jackson started rather young about church and not wanting to go.. and at a young age won that battle. Although, I still feel realistically, that connection would have been made. They wouldn't have been complete strangers.. and logically, they probably are aware. Luke mentions that he most definitely was, since Grace and Cindy talked about Jackson. It wasn't as reciprocated as I would have liked.

Oh gosh, I love you description of Jackson here... lol. As you've like realized that by now, I set out to make Jackson unlikeable. Hopefully not to a point where you say.. "well I can't go on.." and stop reading... but definitely wanted people to have a semblance of this response. I must say too, the response I got from Jackson's Mom was a bit frustrating to me, but I liked that too. I wanted people to have a commentary on their family dynamic. Grace may seem unfair to some, since it is too little too late... you raised him, you reap what you sow.. right? Since he's 18... why start now.. I guess that was some of the sentiment with the annoyance. She was a bit inconsistent too. And yes, I think with all that said, she is still the pussycat to Cindy's Cindzilla.. lol.

Only two more events and I would be done for the weekend. After my muscles and breath came back to me in the cooldown laps, I got out and grabbed a towel. Drae was right behind me and when we got to our station Tony handed us both a couple of protein bars and a bottle of Gatorade. I never liked the mixture of chocolate and juice, but I ripped the wrapper when my stomach growled. Matt came back to the station just before Aiden’s race started and Tony left us to follow him to the starting blo

146 sounds interesting... I may give it a go..

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” my little brother said after I got out of my hand-me-down truck. It was more than a hand me down, it was my grandpa’s truck that became my dad’s work truck. Then my older brother took over the wheel four years ago, and now for about two months it belonged to me. The bed had rust spots all the way through, and the brown color wasn’t the original shade, it had once been black. It had cracked leather bench seats that were just as faded as the rest of the truc

Joel's day has been completely normal until he comes home to find his younger brother sitting out on the front steps. After a word of warning, his life abruptly changes when a careless mistake reveals his one secret to the rest of his family. *Originally part of the 2023 Secret Author Contest: Secrets (Only chapter One)

Lmao. I like ironic titles. Actually, I'm lazy with titles... so who knows. Power abuse! Power abuse!

Celebrate? 😮 That's only if he beats Pete. What if he doesn't?