LJCC

When you're writing with 1st person POV, you're writing with blinders on. You only have one path of sight, which is the 180' degree at which your character's line of sight can see. If your narrator looks straight ahead, those are the things you can describe. If N slightly angles their view to their left and right, it's the extent of how you can describe things. In no way can the narrator elaborate on the things he cannot see. If he does describe them, it would be things that had already happened in the past based on the extent of how he'd acquired such knowledge. For example, behind the narrator is a church. He could say: Martha, my gossipy neighbor, told me about a robbery at the Cathedral Square last week. He wouldn't have an idea that the same robbers that attempted to rob the church would be robbing the place again as he's walking through the town because it's literally behind him. So, putting words in the mouth of your narrator's son literally pertains to that emotion from the narrator's perspective because, as a rule with first-person POV, unless the narrator can read minds, the narrator wouldn't know other people's truths apart from their version of how he/she would explain things. UNLESS those around him have some one-on-one time and tell him whatever they're feeling. This leads to the question of: Are these characters telling him what they're really feeling, or are they just saying what the narrator wants to hear? Are they lying or being truthful? And yes, you can surmise, BASED on WHATEVER your character sees (eye roll, smirk, side eye). Because whatever explanation your narrator creates for the people around him is an opinion formed on his own. He can interpret the eye roll as an attempt to question authority, a typical teenage way of dismissing things, a disparaging remark on whatever he did, or he can describe it and not think about it while still putting it in the story because you want the readers to think he doesn't think about the eye roll, but in fact, it's an intricate emotion leading to his son not having respect, and it bothers him (SUBTEXT). It can be as simple and complex as that, with him interpreting one single gesture.

It's 1st person POV. Anything the narrator says is formed from the narrator's opinions. That's why 1st person POV is inherently unreliable because you're assuming that the narrator doesn't know everything. Unless the narrator explicitly states like, "[Son] said he didn't like his weekends with me," or indirectly, "His [Mother] pointed out how I kept buying the wrong cereal brand. Was I such a shitty father that my own son kept tattling on me?" As for this: I know he’s waiting for me to say something, to open up, How did the narrator know what the son was thinking? I don't know the son's age, but children tend to not be reliable conversationalists with their emotions since they are, after all, children. Unless the son spoke to the father outright, the reader would assume whatever the father was saying was directly coming from his own insights. If it went like this: I know he told his mother that I'm barely saying anything to open up, but… what’s the point? If it's a third-person POV, it could go like this: "[Son] hinted, through a series of eye gestures, eye rolls, and dismissive nods, when his mother had asked how his father was, that the entire weekend was inexplicably fraught with silence, a shrug, and his father excusing himself to lollygag at his beloved shed. [Son's] weekend was met with abject displeasure that his father still remembers the shit he did, one shitty thing at a time—as expected. And that got the teen frowning at his mother. Stealing your father's credit card to purchase concert tickets will surely elicit any parent's greatest arsenal, the silent treatment."

This is the start of the story, basically. After I finish book 3, what I wrote here may or may not change (just the details.) But yeah, this is literally the start of the story. I might continue that or restart another Cop story about Angels and Demons once I finish this. But yeah, that is after I finish this. lol.

Thanks for the support mate. Give me six months more to finish everything. I'm currently writing the last sequel to this trilogy. Fingers crossed it'd be up before July.

Those are very kind words.

I'm a hundred percent sure you'll fall in love with them. 😂 Also, the goal is to get the audience horned up and emotionally invested. So imagine yourself wanking off while crying. This is basically what this story is. I'm kidding. Haha. Anyway, I just need to write around 80k+ words to finally finish the last installment before I publish the rest of the series. It's still an uphill climb but it's getting there.

For My Niece, Who Always Believed that Romance Lives in the Eyes of The Reader— Carol Dianne CONTENTS: THE LONGEST THIRD DATE (PART 1) THE MEETCUTE THE BILLION DOLLAR KID MISTER TOLEDO MR. LONELY THE TINGE THE ENCOUNTER, A ONE NIGHT STAND? THE FIRST DATE - PARKS & RECREATION RELATIONSHIPS? ADVICE, ANYONE? THE SECOND DATE, SCENE 1 - UPDOWNDATING THE SECOND DATE, SCENE 2 - CUPSHUP DATE

Wait for the finished product months from now. 🤣 I assure you, you shall be surprised. Cause I changed a lot. Lol. And as for you, MISTER... Please finish your story now, because I want to read it.

Like with your question: Other than their actions and their words, how would YOU show what another character is thinking while being limited to the main character's overall point of view? By describing things, really. Context and subcontext are the keys to every situation. Subcontext is probably the most important part of storytelling you'd have to insert in everything you write. Without it, its like eating a sugarless cereal. The story would taste very bland. In-your-face writing is literally the opposite of fiction writing. It's like reading a news report. So to successfully hide whatever intention you have with your characters, you have to hide them in a subcontext that the readers will subtly understand. Some writers will directly hint at what the subcontext is (like in this sample), and some will hide it in their graves. This is a very short prompt I made to, hopefully (if it makes sense), give my answer to your question: SETTING: Context: William is showing his apparent 'fiance' to the guy he slept with last night. A fellow spy. Subcontext: Roger is doubting himself if William truly feels nothing about what they've shared together the night before. The CIA agent feels there's something more. He's also doubting if the fiance is his real fiance. “Well, this is my fiancé,” Damien said, smug as a cat dragging in a half-dead mouse. He turned to face Roger, his expression all polish and ice, heartless, soulless. Roger felt the contrarian demons stir inside him, their claws in his guts, pulling him toward what he shouldn’t feel, shouldn’t want—but did, and did deeply. He knew his feelings for Damien, and he knew Damien's duty. Knew, too, what he himself could give, which was less than nothing when the CIA had its iron hand on his leash. And yet, last night—goddamn it—last night had happened. He had let passion, real passion, take the wheel, knowing full well that today Damien would be boarding a plane back to London, back to MI6. Back to the interrogators, with their sharp questions and sharper eyes. If he wasn’t pitch-perfect, it would be his fault because he hadn’t said no to William last night Romantic, cold-effacing, heartless Brits. That’s what Damien was—wasn’t he? Or was he just a full-frontal asshole of an American to expect something? He wanted some version of romance, sure, but they were both intelligence officers. No room for distractions. No room for...this. And yet. Damien looked at him now, the look of someone who had already filed everything away in a locked box. Roger saw it. He saw the purple shadows pooling around his shoulders like bruises. Whatever connection they’d shared last night was gone, replaced by duty and steel. And now, as if the whole moment weren’t absurd enough, Damien was introducing him to this spineless twig of a man—this toothpick masquerading as a person—who was, apparently, William’s fiancé. The words floated, as pompous and self-satisfied as Damien’s tone. Roger swallowed down everything he couldn’t say and told himself, not for the first time, that what happened last night was for nothing. Or was it really for nothing? Because for certain, he'll be thinking of William till the end of his days. Fuck it, he thought. I have to stop his flight, was his convincing tirade in his mind. I'll blow up the plane if I have to.

YouTube knows you gay boy. It's time to come out. Also, if I'm filming something like a naked touchy-feely scene with a woman and I'm getting a boner, I may be straight. *glares at Taylor Zahkar-Perez* Just saying...

Now I want to read this. I'm a masochist.

William Shatner wrote a book? HAHAHAHAHA. Wiki says: TekWar is a series of science fiction novels created by Canadian actor William Shatner, ghost-written by American writer Ron Goulart... Uhuh. Makes sense now. 😂

My story's also been featured: (Commercial incoming) Nearly a year later, I still haven't finished my story, The Third Longest Date. Haha.

True. Alpha readers are generally your editor, in a sense, because if he or she is providing feedback on your partially finished or drafted work while constructing commentary regarding the overall theme of your writing/novel, then they're also an alpha reader. Like they'd give feedback on what's working or what feels weak in the overarching theme of your story. For example, the pacing at the start feels weak and needs to be more punchy, or the plot is great until you swing the story to the far left of the totem pole, where it suddenly shifts into a dramedy that feels off---stick to drama. On the other hand, beta readers are usually used near the end of the finish line. Like publishing companies would hire 3 or 5 Beta Readers then set up a panel interview to get feedback on the drafted manuscript. Their feedback is essential as the penultimate step before the last and final edit before the novel is set to production. It's also hard to find beta readers willing enough to provide constructive criticism on an unfinished manuscript, ESPECIALLY if they're unpaid. They approach your writing as casual readers, reflecting the entirety of your reader base, where their feedback revolves around inconsistencies and overall character mapping and story plotting like: Is X supposed to be dumbass? X keeps doing the same shit and it's pissing me off. X is great until B shows up. Is X meant to be written like this? If yes, then why? I have a friend who had a beta reader say to his panel feedback session, "Is your protagonist supposed to be an idiot? He keeps 'curling' his lips. Does he have a tick?" And then he realised upon inspection that he kept putting dialog tags and description as, "he curled his lips" 28x throughout his novel. 😂 Beta readers are meant to be brutally upfront. Otherwise, you're not getting what you paid for. Because the assumption is, what they're thinking is what your readers will be saying.

How dare you remind me that I'm getting older!

There's no espionage. 😢I can't see my story.

I hate listening to this song. It makes me feel in love with someone I have yet to meet.

I also have issues like this with the current story I'm writing, where pockets of the narrative are set in the present tense. One line in a paragraph is written in past tense, so I have to be hyperaware. You might have some success passing your work on online editing software (like Grammarly, Quillbot, or Pro Writing Aid) for a quick touchup regarding tense issues, commas, or spelling, even. But treat it with caution. Using it critically can be beneficial. Tools like Grammarly are primarily designed for business writing, not creative work, so it’s important not to follow their recommendations blindly. It's the most basic form of editor's help you can get. It's not very succinct or particular, but it gets the job done.

The tense shifting is really jarring. In one paragraph you have, "Eric said softly, his voice full of sincerity." Then, on the next, the readers get, "I lean in and kiss you passionately, feeling the depth of our connection stir something profound within me. As I pull away, my voice is filled with sincerity." The tense switching is on and off throughout the story. It's really throwing me off .😐

Oh, definitely! The old romantic adage of torn lovers across the generational wealth gaps indeed works. I haven't read a gay novel (written masterfully) about that topic though. But putting it in a modern setting, especially in the 21st century, doesn't work anymore. Like Prince Daniel, Duke of Västergötland of Sweden was a former fitness trainer who was married to the Crown Princess of Sweden. Even Britain's Prince William is married to a commoner. But I guess the struggles of HOW said commoner is thrust into that life can be a notable novel written into paper, with how these commoners adjust to aristocratic life with their rules and processions that are very unrelatable to us peasants. Haha. I do have an idea for a novel in this genre though: A single gay, father, goes into a gay BIG BROTHER bachelor done live who tries to win the heart of a duke. Turns out they hate each other. Like, they'd punch each other's faces if they could have their way. But the cameras seem to capture their plastic fantastic moments only to pin them together, making the audience think they're the most compatible of the bunch. Instead of the Bachelor choosing who leaves, the audience decides. And, as much as the gay father wants out, and as much as the bachelor wants him out as well, they have no choice but to spend time with each other. Then as they settle out their differences, they realize this hatred may blossom into love. Until, the bachelor's real-life ex-boyfriend joins the fray, and what was not so complicated may turn out to be a mess, after all... But yeah, not ready to be writing that...maybe years from now. I don't want to write romcom after romcom after the current romcom I'm writing that I have still yet to finish.

Sadly, I think the problem with this kind of story is that it is not that these aristocrats (written in the modern age) are living in opulence and wealth but that their lives are riddled with processes, procedures, and rules that require thorough research and adamant knowledge through copious amounts of study—that I don't think a lot of people would have time for or would give their story the research it requires. That's why there are a lot of shite stories about this genre because the focus isn't on the people living in wealth or riches, which most novels written about this genre focus on. There are poor aristocrats, btw (like in England), who treat their castles as Airbnbs or tourist destinations in order to have an income. So the general consensus that all aristocrats are rich is questionable. The thing that makes aristocracy novels interesting is that regardless if one is living in a world of privilege, may that be given priority seats at a restaurant because you're the Vicount Dumarch, or whether you're given a guaranteed loan in a bank because you're the grandson of the Duke of Worthington, or, let's say, you casually dine with Taylor Swift and watch a concert later because you're Princess Sofia of (insert country), the RULES and the procedure of how those stipulations AFFECT your life and how you go about such a world is what makes this genre compelling. Like when King Charles the III (Prince Charles at the time) couldn't marry Camilla because she was a divorcee, aristocratic rules such as these are what made The Crown such an amazing TV to watch because they're literally a select number of people who are bound to live by such rules unless they abdicate their crown, stature, or renounce their position in public. But romcoms are more lenient, I think. However, any romcom in this genre would still require ample research. Unless one is making a Hallmark version with 0 budget or ZERO research. 😂

Light Mode, Dark Mode, and Auto - Theme will be light or dark or switch automatically with your device settings. Yes please. I'm in love with these updates already. My eyes aren't suited to the brightness. I'm a nocturnal animal. So, what would you like to see in Stories? What function are we missing? Personally speaking, this is just me; I want to see updated stories that last more than 24 to 48 hours. Imagine posting a chapter, only for it to be relegated to the back pages of the stories tab, or you find your story on the 5th or 8th page after several days and then no one reads it anymore. It would be great to see your story chapter last for at least a week to help that story gain traction with readers who are TOO LAZY (I'm looking at you, some Lazy McGuire readers out there) in browsing the back pages. Not sure if this is possible, but yeah, I just want some stories full visibility. Because it feels like your story has visibility for the first 48 hours until your next chapter post. I post really long chapters, and I'm planning on posting my story once a week because per chapter is 7k to 10k+. And I'm worried if, let's say, there are a lot of people posting chapters on that particular day, by day 2 after I posted my chapter, my chapter story would be on page 5 or 8. I'm not sure if we'll still have the same format in the new upgrade, but yep. That's what my spider teets are telling me. Like I really like AwesomeDudes presentation of their stories. Their new stories, new authors, updated stories, etc. are all presented in the foreground on their front page. But then they do have curated stories and a lesser amount of X authors so I'm not sure if their site management is easier (I'm not a software programmer so I have no idea what I'm suggesting.) And as I'm about to screenshot their front page, their site is down. Maybe it's just me or it's really down. I'm really excited about this update though. All I want to see is black. 😂

Damn it. I thought my Ancestry was going to slip by and no one would notice! Hail, Queen Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo. God, I'm so gay.

I'll quote a comment from Quora, to piggyback that being a native-born English speaker isn't a prerequisite to good writing. It's understanding its form that makes you good at writing in English. Look at me, I'm not a native English speaker. I come from Genovia in Europe. We speak Genovian and Simlish. It's a very difficult language, harder than Latin, Ancient Egyptian and Babylonian. Even harder than Atlantian. In our language Me-sul-sul means, "Fuck you, your parents, your brothers, your sisters, even your dog, you stupid piece of shite!" Imagine three words having so much meaning. Like our word, Oh-feehbeh-lay which means, "I'm hungry, so you better start cooking something in the kitchen, otherwise, they're gonna be hell to pay." Even our simple woofum which directly translates as dog, which means "You whiny-ass dog, stop barking or no dinner for you." Our language is so complex that it's very hard for me to write in English. ANYWAY... You have to watch shows and movies that make the English language cohesive. Like an Armenian friend of mine said, he used to watch the 90's comedy show, Friends and emulated the way they talk. The weird thing was, he literally has an English-American accent while living in the UK. It's bonkers. For example, the show Succession has probably had the most modern interpretation of the English language made today that has depth and meaning. You can imagine the words in that show being said in everyday life, a modern take, but it has so much humor, zest, and wit that makes the writing excellent: "Forgive me, but are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face? ... Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes, man?" "Ohhhh, but they are not in fact receipts. Greg! You’re a criminal mastermind…what polyglot genius could ever hope to crack your impenetrable code?" "Don't threaten me, Gerri. I don't have time to jerk off." "Is he nice? You’re asking about the moral character of a man named rat-fucker Sam?" "I would like some suck suck for my dicky-dick" "A small person could fit through there, right?!? Like an attack child?!?" "Do you think it’s possible to sue a person, a grandparent for example.. in an affectionate way? that might convey, like, "I love you and, I’m glad you’re a part of my life but I am taking legal action against you?" "Excuse me I actually have to go watch a fucking satellite launch in Japan, that I’m actually in charge of, that I reorganized for you but you’re to fucking carbon neutral to enjoy." Just reading off these one-liners shows how funny it is and how witty it is, and imagine if you, as a writer, could make up and write words like these in your own novel? And the line written that won the actor an Emmy, apart from this show having won several Emmys: "I wonder if the sad I'd be without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you." Absoute banger of a line, imo.

Aw. Thanks mate. Glad you enjoyed it :-).