Will Hawkins

Most of the stories you mention I have read and enjoyed even without the life connections you speak of. There are grammatical and spelling errors that the author's eye skips right over, but in your case, they are minor, a missed space between words or a homophone here and there. It is common for errors like those not to be apparent to an author's eye. An author is too familiar with the work and his mind fills in or modifies the error so he is not even aware of it. That is the only reason that a 'fresh' eye will immediately spot an error that the author does not see. The words I use are the correct ones, but there are just too many of them. In your case, the love that you and Daniel shared comes through the words on the computer screen. Do not ever dream of quitting. Those of us out here where there is no yellow brick road or Emerald City need people like you to make our lives have meaning. My question at this point is, how may I help you express yourself and your love of Daniel in the best possible way. I am not creative, I cannot make words live the way you can, but there must be something I can do to help YOU be your creative self. What is it?

Those who have commented above seemed to have missed one of the interesting points in the chapter -- just what sort of a being is holed up in the museum and tearing the bodies of healthy grown men in half? Well, time and subsequent chapters will tell A dramatic start to your tale at any rate.

There is a similar set of superstitions about the Grand Canyon in Arizona. Among them is one that it is bad luck - no Pele involved there - to throw a rock into the canyon as, if every visitor did this that the tourists would fill up the canyon and eventually it would disappear under a pile of stones. I am sure that people who spread that tale have never visited the Grand Canyon. Even if it were possible to fill it up, the Colorado River would just clean it right out and despite rumors, the Egyptians did not visit the canyon in prehistoric times.

K, I am guilty of spreading an untruth about Pele. It is well known it Hawaii that Pele has a terrible temper, but there is no basis for the folktale that if you take a rock off the island you will be the victim of her curse. There is no record in ancient Hawaiian folklore of such a curse by Pele. The Hawaiian Park service receives on the average of one package a week from some tourist who is returning one of Pele's rocks as they have been the victim o Pele's terrible temper and their cat died or their truck broke down!

That may be true, but the only program I can get here that is in English is CNN and I get tired of the shenanigans of politicians very easily. I did get excited about the volcanic eruptions in Hawaii however. Somebody must have taken one of Pele's rocks off the island!

Just some editorial suggestions, but from now on, I m ceasing to make these comments. Apologies for the oversized typeface, I neglected to reduce my comments to the proper size before posting them. Some authors like my suggestions, some authors are embarrassed by them, so in order to keep good relations with all the authors on GA, I have decided to make editorial suggestions by PM only in the future.

Wow! It seems at least the 'rules of evidence' are keeping up with modern technology. It wasn't too long ago in years that fingerprint identification was being questioned in the US courts and now they are accepting DNA evidence!

I don't doubt that is true, but a letter, for example, pulled out of the trash unless it has a signature on it, doesn't that break the chain of evidence? A prosecutor would have a difficult time proving in court that that particular perp was the author of a letter which was just pulled out of the trash.

It seems to me that once the addressee reads a letter and throws it into the trash can, it becomes trash and therefore public property.

It is the curse of being a handsome and eligible prince of a kingdom near another where there are daughters to get married off. It calls to mind the situation in the royal house of Windsor where two princes of the blood royal have been wandering around recently. At least they got themselves married off to someone they love and immediately started to produce heirs to fulfill their princely duties. What a great difference between 1937 and today. Edward VIII was forced to abdicate after only a year's rule because the woman he wished to marry was a divorced woman, but today we have a prince of the blood royal marrying a divorced woman who is of mixed race with no great outcry.

My ignorance about magic and medicine is certainly demonstrated by my inane comments on placing the princess in a coma to help her heal. Certainly not the direction the author intended. I hope the Captain is able to do one thing right and find the wolf that bit her in the first place, but at this time I can see his mind clouded by his military training and him getting the wrong werewolves arrested by the dozen!

Well, I was wrong about the comatose state for the princess, but that is why YOU are an author and I am not! I will keep reading to see what your solution to the problems is.

Placing the patient in a comatose state is exactly what a modern medical team would do when there is an illness with no known cure. The self-curative properties of the human body are only just recently being used by medical men. In many illnesses, all that is needed is to give the body time to cure itself and that is exactly what the sorcerer is doing.

The Captain of the guard is acting just as many military men do if he had taken the time to explain to the sorcerer just a little of the reason for being called by the King the proper books could have been brought the first trip. Guards think they are in charge of everything. The comment about the Smith getting his anvil pounded was great and shows the author's sense of humor. We have now introduced many of the characters and I am looking forward to the interactions between them and the progress of the story.

Interesting beginning to a story series. I am looking forward to the future character development. Let's see; a handsome prince and a beautiful princess. a ravening mad wolf, a changeling in love with the princess, what more could one want and all that in just the first chapter?

Excellent beginning for a longer series, I will look forward to your expansion of the tale. Is it possible for there to be an alert broadcast when something new is available? I would like to be placed on the list to be informed.

I too am new to this site it is only recently that I am reading the singleton entries. It looks to me like I have missed some good reading along the way, I will attempt to undo that oversight. Excellent writing and I am hooked. Looking forward to other Psionic Corp stories.

The undercurrent of 'conventional' thinking in this short spices up the storyline I can see situations like this developing in today's time frame -- an isolated community of religious fanatics someplace in the US fighting with State Patrol or National Guard over their 'rights' to kill all the rest of the citizens of the country who do not believe as they do. Excellent writing Myr. It encourages me to seek out more 'shorts'.

I have adopted a new year's resolution to read more of the short stories. In my past reading, I have avoided them as probably being too superficial -- I now see I was in error. Excellent writing Myr. I will pick up on more shorts in the future.

When you say 'nobody cares' for whom are you speaking? Many authors have expressed gratitude at my comments. They are certainly more meaningful to the author then 'Great chapter - hurry up in your writing.'

I have been missing out in my reading by avoiding stories of only one chapter in length. It seems that much entertaining reading is compressed into what has been called 'short stories'. I will make it a point not to avoid them in the future if this is an example of what I have been missing.

they wished tosee | they wished to see to keep Bryce and I apart | to keep Bryce and me apart *there is some question about calling this to your attention...young people use this improper construct frequently, so it appears in an author's recording of their speech patterns, but it is incorrect as far as grammar is concerned. Do you wish to change it or not?*

I wear, if he hadn't been trapped I swear, if he hadn't been trapped I spent recconnecting with Sam I spent reconnecting with Sam got their heartbroken, right? got their heart broken, right? Don't gobeing a blabbermouth Don't go being a blabbermouth

in the morning sowe can - in the morning so we can

I can only hope that after things cool down a bit between Billy and his mom they will be able to communicate rationally. I see right on both sides here. Mom is lonely and needs a man around and Billy is suffering from the arrows of growing up. Both of them are right and need to stop shouting at each other long enough to establish that common ground does exist. The hardest thing in an argument is when both parties place themselves in an armored position and cannot see any right on the other side. Then it becomes irrational and turns into a match where the goal is to hurt the other party.