Will Hawkins

A very interesting opening -- I m looking forward to the developing relationships.

I am going to be looking over your other series CM, to see if there is some new storyline in which I can become involved just as soon as I finish the last chapters of this series. The good, no, nearly perfect English you use, makes your writing so enjoyable!

I have just sent you a PM craftingmom, in reference to your writing on this series and elsewhere.

You go, girl! This may be a relaxing chapter after the stress of the last two, but it adds so much to the story.

Whew! What a chapter! Our little kitten has turned into a real tiger! Good show, mom. Okay, we can use a chapter or two of 'downtime' now to get the blood pressure back under control.😀

"The queen of the cliffhangers'; certainly a good description of you, mom! I am sure you have a few more hidden in your plans, but they are what makes the reading so great. Go to it, mom! Kayden is becoming a real tiger, too. "Progress is our most important product", do you remember what company used that slogan? I do, but then I am an OLD fucker -- here is a hint: Ronald Regan was heard saying that every Sunday evening on TV. If you want the answer, just email me: misterwill2@live.com

I disagree with the 'begging and groveling' part of these comments. Apologize, yes, but maintain a dignified position. After all, Damien is a lord and must maintain a position of dignity in commanding men, especially soldiers. To apologize for an error, to admit a mistake is fine, but to grovel is not a commander's stance. Although... here, where the leader's heart is involved, it might be excusable!

The hunters don't realize the little kitten they knew a year ago has morphed into a tiger today. Are they ever going to be surprised! Your writing skill overwhelms me, mom.

I know this will all work out finally, but there has to be a lot more stress. Poor kitten -- no, not a poor kitten anymore! Now an enraged tiger! I am running out of expletives to describe your writing ability CM. You are a gift to the reader.

Once again an example of how the green-eyed monster of jealousy starts with misunderstanding and builds on non-communication. A silence between lovers is never a solution, it is fuel for the flames. On the other hand, when people start screaming at each other, that is not communication either. I am pleased to see Damien is beginning, just beginning to see his faults. the little kitten is so sweet and so easily hurt. He has suffered a great deal in his young life. Ah well, the course of true love never did run smooth. Your ability to peer into the hearts of your characters is fascinating, mom. Something tells me there have been similar incidents in your own life! Excellent work in any case.

Most people are enthralled with the beauty of a peacock in full plumage, but I have seen or rather heard another side to that beauty -- a peacock has a voice like someone beating a baby! I went to a high school in San Antonio, Texas named after the family that ran the school, Peacock Military Academy. Someone had the bright idea that it would be neat having a live peacock roaming the campus. That lasted about one month. Our bird was magnificent looking, but hell to live with because of the screaming. The owners gave him to the local zoo very quickly. Just a note of realism injected into a beautiful fantasy... The story, on the other hand, is a wonderful fantasy. A hybrid between human and cat and displaying physical and psychological attributes of both, how creative! I am enjoying a great deal watching our kitten grow.

OKAAAAY Stressful morning coming up. I see Damien forbidding Kayden from going and Kayden sneaking out. maybe in the wagon with the arms and provisions. Oh, but that wouldn't work because he needs his horse along... Well, we will see You have a way of working things out Mom. Maybe Damien will take the horse along in a misguided attempt to make sure Kayden stays behind... Hmmm?

Communication and honesty are the two hardest hills to climb in any relationship. I know that -- eventually -- Kayden and Damien will make it over the bumps, but bumps are an absolute requirement in any story, especially in a gay romance. Ah, but the make-up sex!

The green-eyed dragon rears his head! Okay, as an author I know you have to have stress in your chapters. I can only wish I had a long mobile tail like Kayden. I need something to wrap around me at night and an expressive tail could be great fun as well.

I read all the chapters in the previous book and fell in love with your little kitten, so I searched until I found this sequel. I am now going to lie back and enjoy more of your work, Mom. Okay, back to the next chapter ...

Very well, In future, if I make a grammar correction. I will do it by PM. My intent was not to embarrass or insult anyone, but by making suggestions (and they were intended to be merely suggestions) by sending an open message to assist anyone who might be reading the comments area. Please note that I do not make suggestions on dialog, I understand that characters are not professors of English and frequently make English errors in speech, further, that an author should enter exactly the speech patterns of his characters with no correction or suggestions.

"The boys were woken early with breakfast in bed", the use of 'woken' in this instance is not an error, I just happen to think that 'awakened' would read more smoothly.

Good to know. I have been referring to Bendmetal as Bendy. I will start using JT now. I was kidding her about being Australian, saying she was from OZ. US children's story about a mythical kingdom with little green men. Next question and something to which you may not know the answer: with one of the co-authors being from Pennsylvania and the other from Australia, therefore speaking (and writing) in different languages (and believe me, Pennsylvania English and Australian English are two different languages) and located thousands of miles apart, how do they ever get anything done? The more familiar use of the word Oz to Americans is Land of Oz, the setting for many of L. Frank Baum's novels

"That peaked Kyle’s interest" peaked - the peak of his career: height, high point/spot, the pinnacle. Perhaps you mean piqued -- stimulate, arouse, rouse, provoke, whet, awaken, excite, kindle, stir, galvanize. By the way, who are Aaron Hawke & JT Babbage, the two copyright holders? Are these names I should recognize?

"Fuck me that good coffee, where’d you get it?” Better put a verb in that sentence! "Fuck me that's good coffee, where’d you get it?” "Kyle and Blu threw on clothes rushing, well Kyle practically drug Blu by the hand to class so they weren’t late." Use 'dragged' here as a past tense, the 'well' is meaningless in this case unless you use it as an expletive. In which case it would be a new sentence: "Well, Kyle practically dragged Blu..."

"which the family happily scoffed down." scoff: speak to someone or about something in a scornfully derisive or mocking way. How about using scarf instead, to eat or drink (something) hungrily or enthusiastically. Of course, I agree that each new chapter is an adventure. Keep up the good work, both of you. Hey, according to you GA descriptions, one of you is from Pennsylvania and the other from Australia! How is that working out for one writing one chapter and the other one writing the next?

“Wow, your skinny,” Your is a possessive, the word you're looking for is, well I just used it, you're. You're was used correctly in several places in the text, so I am going to assume that this example was just a slip. Tch, tch.

"Chapter 2 will be Blu's Prologue, each week you will tentatively receive a new chapter." The split infinitive in this quotation is NOT a major crime in English and if it occurred in a dialog, I would not even mention it, but here it is in an author's statement and those are supposed to be perfect, So watch it, Babe! The old troll under the bridge is snapping at your toes! Ha, ha.

"Kyle laughed as he caught a fleeing Kaleb by the arm, "Umm, where do you think you're going, little bro?" He laughed as he synched the headlock around Kaleb's neck." I believe the word you are looking for here is a cinch, a girth for a Western saddle or pack. Synch is an abbreviation of synchronization, a word in English with another meaning, having to do with coordination in timing. This type of error in writing is known as a 'homophone', a word that sounds like a different one when spoken. It is one of the most difficult errors in writing to detect as a grammar checker will not spot it. Hey, even in Oz, they use a cinch to wrap around a horse's belly to fasten on a saddle!

Beautiful writing, but the best part is the understanding you use to write.