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Anita Samandra

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About Anita Samandra

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    Bisexual, leaning female
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    Music, reading and writing and playing computer games.

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  1. Of Thorns and Rocks The summer is almost over, and he grabs his bag for a walk. Outside there’s a path but there are a lot of rocks, and it’s overgrown with briars. Up the hill there is a road, but the road is steep and it leads to unknown places. He turns from the road and starts heading down the known path. Walking through the briars is uncomfortable, but it feels safer even if it hurts. Barely through the first bend, he stumbles on a rock. “I can’t stumble on them if I just remove them.” He looks at it, it’s big and has sharp edges. Not knowing where else to put them, he puts it in his bag, thinking the road will be easier to walk if he just brings them along. But there are more rocks, and the bag gets heavier, yet he continues walking. Summer passes and autumn’s here, slowly draining the world of colors. Over and over he passes by the hill, but he can never find the courage to get off the beaten path. Round after round and soon the bag is getting too heavy to carry. He looks at the hill again, and he’s not sure but this time something changes. Winter has arrived with snow, and the path is almost overgrown with briars. They scratch him up every time and the cuts go deep. At the bottom of the hill, he can see a cairn other travelers have erected. By the cairn he can see a sign. “Place a rock on the cairn, so other travelers will find their way.” Something in him makes him take a rock from his bag and place it on the cairn, and he takes a small step up the hill. There is something about the hill that compels him to keep going. The snow is deep and the dark is falling. Now the world is black and white and the hill feels very heavy. But he keeps walking. Just another step and the new direction, and it somehow feels like it is the right direction to go even if the bag is so heavy. The cairns show the way further and they feel good to lean against to rest. Another cairn, and out of the bag, another rock. The winter is slowly passing, and by the road now runs a fresh stream. Another cairn and yet another rock is placed, and the road doesn’t feel as heavy anymore. More steps, more cairns, and winter gives way to spring. The darkness starts going and the light makes the going easier. In a clearing further up, a figure emerges from the trees and waves. “Come. Rest a bit. You have come far, but there’s further still to go.” The bag feels unusually light, and a rest does help now. From the clearing, one can see all the way down to the old trail. It looks so far away now, going in a circle with it’s rocks and bushes. “Far down there, where you’ve walked like so many others. The bushes that overgrow the trail and the uncomfortable rocks. “But I see that now you only have one more rock in that bag. Let me look at it for a while. It was, after all, the first one you picked up. Leave your bag here, you won’t need it anymore.” The bag is laid down by a tree, and the figure looks at the rock. It’s big, heavy and spiky. It has a flat side and the figure brushes it’s finger across it. On it you can see a weak word. “he”. The figure keeps brushing the dirt away from the rock, and brings it to the stream. He cleans the rock off in the stream, and brings it back. All the sharp edges are now gone, and the rock is smooth and pretty. With golden writing: “She”. The figure gives the rock back, and she can tell that it no longer weighs anything. She looks up at the figure and says, “I’m ready.” The road further up the hill is still steep, but she’s had a rest and she’s no longer carrying a heavy burden. Summer has finally come, and all the colors have returned. The road ahead will still be heavy, but at least she’s no longer walking in circles.
  2. A collection of everything that falls outside a story, be it short scenes or poetry.
  3. Love when you see the smile from someone feeling the same. or the warmth in your chest from the mention of a name. Love your first thought in the beginning of a day, and the last thing you feel when you're hitting the hay. Love when every moment you're waiting you seem to ache, so afraid that from this dream you'll wake. Love the feeling so strong time seize to exist Yet even those moments blow away like mist. Love filling you up 'till you feel so strong, yet so small that you feel you'll do everything wrong Love when the smallest thing can send you into a rut, yet the same thing will pull you back up. Love when you warm up by the mention of a name knowing by their smile that they feel the same.
  4. Well, this week proves that working the late shift at work isn't compatible to trying to get writing done... 

    This will get better.

  5. So, I've finally made it. I'm back at the point where I manage to write. Over a period of about ten years, I got pulled further and further away from things that gave me inspiration to write. (or do anything creative for that matter) The reasons, may or may not be disclosed at a later time, but the gist of it is that even if I didn't understand it at the time my life wasn't doing so good anymore. Top that with denial of being trans from way back when I was 10 or 12 years old. I basically didn't want to "be different" so I didn't tell anyone, and all my life just pushed it away. Then things happened, and I suddenly had the opportunity to observe myself. And discover what was actually going on. A "few" doctors appointments later, over to a specialist, and suddenly things started working out. I now proudly can say I'm trans. I've been (on the time of writing) on hormones for half a year. And things are looking up. I've been out for walks, just to walk. And now my creativity is coming back. And WOW does it feel good. My job situation could be loads better, and thus the same with my economy. But I manage. But now I can see that famous light in the end of the tunnel. And yes, I'm fairly certain it's not a train. So, also at time of writing, chapter one of my new story The Old is up and I'm halfway through first writing of chapter 2. I don't know if I will, or want to pick up some of my old stories. At least not yet. But we'll see. After all, if I remember correctly I have almost 40.000 words down on my main and biggest story. But for now I hope you enjoy The Old, even if it is the first thing I write in many years. Thank you. Anita
  6. Thanks. I got some of chapter 2 done today... hopefully the rest tomorrow, and posting as soon as possible.
  7. Hope you'll enjoy this first chapter.
  8. Anita Samandra

    The Discovery

    #1 THE DISCOVERY "Hey, wait up Ka!" Go'Xie shouted. Ka'Zief was running up the hill and Go had trouble keeping up with her. "Not my fault you're slow. Hurry, you need to see this," Ka shouted teasingly back. She continued running trying to catch up, feeling the muscles in her legs burning. Ka had slowed somewhat, allowing Go to catch up with her. Then at the top of the ridge, she stopped and turned around, beaming at Go. Go slowed as well, she really didn't want Ka to see how tired she was. She looked up at Ka, smiling back. "So, what's so special about this place?" she said, trying her best to steady her voice. "It's not this place. It's that," Ka said triumphantly and pointed further over the ridge. Go stopped and stared, mouth working but no sound coming out. "What do you think it is?" Ka continued. Go just shook her head. She found her voice. "I don't know. Small rocks with completely straight edges?" "But they're not that small, though. Look at the trees. They tower over them." "You don't think The Old made them?" Go looked at Ka skeptically. "What else could it be, though?" They both looked at each other, then back over the ridge. Down on the other side of the ridge, there was a wide, flat bottomed valley sloping down to the ocean. And a little distance up through the forest in the valley, tall, square things came out between the trees. Tall things that could only be rocks of different sizes, all much taller than the trees. "We should go there," Ka said with a grin. "But we can't let anyone know. The elders would kill us." Go hesitated and Ka took her hand. "It'll be fine. We know this forest, nothing here can hurt us." "It's not that..." Go began. "What if..." She trailed off. Ka squeezed her hand. "What if it's The Old, and they're still there?" Go looked down and nodded. Pulling her closer, Ka held her for a little. then said, "The Old are just stories the elders tell us to scare us. Beings so many you couldn't count them. Not a place in the world left untouched. Well, look around. Where are they?" "We both know the stories, Ka. They don't make sense, but what else could it be?" "I don't know," Ka replied, the curiosity coming back to her eyes. "That's why I want to go see it. It would only take a day to go there. We could just say we were going hunting. If we're lucky there might be game to bring back as well." "Well..." Ka's enthusiasm was starting to rub off on Go, as it always did. "okay... But not today. Deal?" Go looked up at Ka, giving her the best cute face she could. Ka laughed, that rich hearty laugh that always made Go's insides flutter. Ka kissed her and consented. "okay. Not today. Let's head back. Food will probably be done when we get there." They walked back, holding hands and enjoying the warm summer breeze. Both wondered what the stones could be, but neither could come up with an idea that made sense. The camp was a standard summer camp with some large community tents, and family tents spread around. There were around a hundred people in their tribe, and that was one of the largest tribes on the Larion plateau. It stretched from the ocean in the west to the impassable mountains in the east. They were now during the summer the farthest north they had ever been; normally they didn't come this close because most animals tended to stay closer to the center of the plateau, and it stretched a full season's march south. But the tribe had a winter camp halfway near the center where the winter wasn't too harsh. A boy about the same age as they jumped up as they came to the camp, and stammered a greeting, glancing at Ka but not making eye contact. "Hey Go, oh and Ka. Hi. You.. uh... get anything interesting today?" He turned a bit red. Ka smiled back and looked at Go. "Oh hey Aro. No, nothing, just foraging," Ka lied and smiled. "What are you up to?" "Ah, well... I sp... spears! I'm making spears." "Nice. But we really were on our way back." Go smiled. "Yes. Ah... of course. Back." Aro looked puzzled for a moment. "Of course." He looked at the sun then back at Go. "I should too." Aro started collecting his spears and tools, smiling shyly every time he looked up. As they moved away, Go leaned into Ka and whispered, "He is so into you, you know." "What? Aro? No... Is he?" "Ka. He can't even form a sentence when talking to you. Not to mention his color," Go teased. "I... no..." "Wait, is that a blush I see? The Old doesn't phase you, but the mentions of a boy..." Go continued, taking her hand as they kept going. "I mean, he's alright. But he's, you know, Aro. We've known him all our lives." Go stopped and looked at Ka, smiling. "You do like him," she said as a statement. Ka smiled back and answered shyly, "Yeah, maybe a bit." Go stood on her toes and kissed her. Both girls smiled and headed to the fire by Go's family tent. Both girls' families were used to them doing things on their own, as they usually did their chores without too much pushing. Go's mom looked up as they arrived and smiled. "Will Ka eat with us today?" "Can I, Xie?" Ka smiled back. "Of course dear, you're always welcome. I do need some konberries and some tearroots for the sauce. You know where you can find them?" "Sure, happy to help. Come, Go, help me find them?" Go nodded and they hurried back into the forest. It didn't take them long to find what they were after and head back. Then her mother finished preparing the food. They sat around the fire, eating and soaking up the warmth. "So, what did you girls do today?" Quen, Go's father, asked. "Nothing, Dad, just hanging out in the forest. Getting to know the area." "We were actually thinking we could try a bit of hunting tomorrow," Ka said with a glance at Go. "Just the two of you?" Quen started. "Where were you thinking of hunting? Ridge is close up north, so to the west is probably better. And--" "And they'll be fine. They know all they need to know to make it. You've taught your daughter well," Xie finished, patting his arm, and leaning on his shoulder. "I saw Aro'Suev had just finished some spears, we could probably use some of them as well." Go smiled at her father, knowing that he'd always buckle when both her mother and she tried to convince him at the same time. "Hmm. Yes... I guess you're right. But try not to stay out for too long, though. You know your mother worries." "Of course, Dad," she answered as her mother winked back at her. The next morning they got ready early, had a decent breakfast, and packed what they thought they would need on the trip. They would only be gone for a couple of days, and with the guise that they were going to hunt, they shouldn't have any issues with food. "We'll need to convince Aro to give us a couple of spears before we leave. Not sure if he'd just give them to us," Go said as they left their tent. "You could just smile sweetly to him, though," she continued, and Ka blushed. "I... Hey, you're just teasing me now aren't you?" Ka tried to sound insulted, failed, and started to laugh. Both girls were still laughing as they came up to Aro's tent. Aro was eating and looked up. Hand halfway up to his mouth he froze, smiled, then remembered he was eating. He quickly covered his mouth with his other hand, working desperately to swallow what was already there. "Hi Suev, hi Ima. Hey Aro." Go smiled. "Can we talk to you for a moment?" "Uh. Sure?" Aro said as he glanced over to his parents and his father nodded. "Did you finish those spears yesterday?" Go said as soon as they were outside of his parent's range. She nudged Ka who made an oomph sound, coughed, and said, "Hi, Aro. Uh. Nice day." "Anyway," Go continued, smiling. "Spears?" "Uh... Hi... Yeah. Yes, I finished them. Why?" "Well, you see. We're heading out to hunt for a bit, and we thought maybe you could help us out with those spears?" Go nudged Ka again, a little lighter this time. "Yea. Would be nice if you could." Ka smiled. Aro colored a little, quickly looked back to Go, and said, "Sure, of course. Let me just get everything." He wandered back into his tent. "Get everything?" Go looked at Ka. "Did he say get everything?" "Sounded like it. He doesn't think..." But Ka didn't finish that sentence as Aro had come out of the tent, a bundle on his back and three spears under his arm. He quickly said something to his parents that they didn't catch. Then hurried over. "So. Where we heading?" he said before looking at the girls who just stood there staring. "What? I miss something?" "No, it's just that we--" Ka started, before Go quickly talked over her. "You were just so fast. North. We're thinking of going north." "I wasn't going to--" Ka tried. "Yes, you were," Go smiled at Ka, "and now it's settled." They left the camp and started into the forest, and not before Go was certain no one was around did she stop. She turned to Aro. "We're not actually going hunting..." It sounded a bit like a question. "You see, we saw something." "Saw something? But not hunting grounds apparently?" He looked at both girls in turn. This news was at least enough for him not to forget how to talk. "Yes. But it's a good walk away. Probably a day. It's down in the valley," Go said and looked at Ka. "You'll see as soon as we get up to the ridge. Then you'll understand," Ka said, the memory of the day before rekindling her spark to figure out what they had seen. Ka started walking again and as the ground started, rising she sped up again, barely keeping to a walk. The other two hurried up to walk at her side, and as they came to the ridge, the girls both looked at Aro. He stood there frozen, his mouth open. Go waved her hand in front of his face. "Hey. You with us?" "I. Wow. What...?" "We don't know. Go thinks it's something The Old left." "I... No. I said 'what if'. I didn't say it was..." "Anyway. We want to check it out." Ka beamed. "We just need to get there... But..." She looked worried as she indicated the drop down from the plateau. Looking up and down the ridge, there were no visible slopes they could easily walk. To find one they would have to move inland, or they'd have to climb. It wasn't a sheer drop but it was rocky and steep. "That's at least twenty men high," Aro said, peering up and down the slope. "Do you know if there's a good place to get down?" "No, we haven't checked the ridge any at all. But inland is our best bet, I think," Ka said, looking towards the sea. Wandering a bit along the ridge, they could not see any place that was better or worse than others. Coming around a bend they could see that the entire valley slowly turned north, giving them a good view of the ridge, and nowhere in sight was there any place to get down easily. "We might as well just climb here," Ka said. "I mean, it doesn't look any better at all." Aro was walked over to the edge and looked down. "Well, it does seem to be a bit shorter climb here. I think the ground down there is a bit higher." He said. "Yea. I agree," Go said. "Might as well climb here. We'll just have to be careful. It's a long way down.”
  9. Anita Samandra

    The Old

    Three friends stumble upon artifacts seemingly not of their world, and set out to discover what turns out to be bigger than they could ever imagine.
  10. Anita Samandra

    A Twist of Kim

    Loved it. Thanks. 😊 Now to read the rest of your stories. Thanks again for suggesting this one.
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