shadowgod

It is weird to revisit stories written. Kind of like wondering down the street you used to live on as a kid. There are a lot of memories bound up in the words. The gloss of nostalgia is tempered with the clarity of experience. Its hard to say what my aim was with the stories I wrote. I do know that if i were to write them today they wouldn't be the same. Who knows maybe there is yet still another draft or two living inside of Living in surreality. Decimate it to the basics of the story, and build it back up stronger and better than what it is. I spent too much time trying to emulate domluka, trying to mimic CJames. the truth is I can't. I get lost in Dom's interrelationship intricacies. I utterly lack Cj's flair for plot building and tension. So I have to wonder what am I left with? a characters personal struggles, seems the most obvious. Perhaps that is what I should focus on. Jacob and Matt both want to ditch there past. Poor Valerie is just along for the ride. She needs to fight harder against the change that rushes at her. Can she accept that change in the end and remain a friend? That seems a more compelling story than just a willing cheerleader. But everyone needs a cheerleader, especially Matt who seems so left without. And then there is Cody, suck waiting to find who is outside that door. Trouble with Cody is that everyone wants him, when he truly wants no one. I need to cut out all the chasing boys and focus on Cody. The big problem is I just don't know where to start. from the beginning. Thats always the best place.

lol it isn't Cody I want to recreate, its the world around him. it needs to be better, and more believable. =)

Ive heard its best to pick up where one leaves off. It makes sense, but it was never a philosophy given to writing. Especially when there is a prolonged gap. You just can't get back to it. The rhythm changes, any cadence established gets lost. You can try, Im sure, but the fracture of time will stand like the grand canyon in the story. Plus I know I write better now then I did two or three years ago. I am however not sure any of the characters are as good as some I have left here sitting on a shelf waiting to be read again. So what's next? the rewrite. I tried to emulate DomLuka in a little way with DnCW Multiple characters and story threads. Spur interaction with readers as they tried to guess who was going to end up with whom. I failed. I built a story that became top heavy. A story that was sitting on a single central character. The story became unstable, and began to lack a defined direction. It needs to be rewritten. From chapter 1 onwards. somethings may stay. Others may go away. Im not sure, but I know it has to be done, because as the story is now, I can't write anymore of it. It's hopelessly broken.

I think its bound to happen Lugh. We always make mental comparisons He has his deceased wife to make this comparison to. Having this mental connection will keep him a rounded character.

dick =p

A poem which, in ways, is very personal. After going back and forth about posting it, I decided I would.

My Frailty: My frailty was you, perfectly damaged you. What was at first forever, slowly faded, into something more like maybe never. Yet I remained steadfast for you, shunning all else who came. For simply complicated you. Even when you said when we have nothing left to lose, I still remained true. I still do. I still do. My frailty

chapter 28: : edited by viv : Something had ended in the last seven weeks Jacob had spent in the hospital, and try as he might, he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. Innocence? Freedom? They were possibilities for sure, and undeniably linked to the absence of the midnight blue Mustang he knew he would encounter when he arrived home. "You alright?" Matt asked, stealing a glance at Jacob from the driver's seat of Joanne's Explorer. Jacob averted his gaze from the

chapter 27: : edited by viv : The laundry list of injuries sustained had been substantial; broken femur, broken wrist, broken ulna, fractured radius, three broken ribs, and what the doctors went on to describe as near-catastrophic internal injuries. Including the internal bleeding that was collapsing Jacob's lungs, the bulk of the injuries were all on Jacob's left side, apparently the side that had taken the initial impact, or so the doctors surmised. Matt knew the number

chapter 26: : edited by viv : Independence Day in Oak Meadow typified everything small-town America stood for; homemade floats parading down main street in a blur of patriotic colors, a barbecue picnic in the park put on by the local firehouse, all leading to an evening capped with fireworks at the local high school. All of these festivities, and the sense of community they gave Matt, made this his favorite of any holiday. He had grown up attending them as a matter of duty in h

chapter 25: : edited by viv : "Do it again," Joanne shouted with glee, the shutter on her camera having acted too quickly to catch the moment where Valerie and Matt had leaned in to give Jacob a quick kiss on either side of his face. "I didn't get it," she continued, re-aiming the lens of the camera for a reenactment of the spontaneous kiss. Valerie readily agreed, pursing her lips with a slight chuckle, she grasped Jacob by the chin and planted her lips on his right chee

chapter 24: : edited by viv : "USC?" Valerie questioned with a pout while adjusting the gold and white scarf that hung over her shoulders and down to her mid back. Matt had heard the same simple question many times in recent weeks, ever since he decided on USC over the art school he had previously planned on attending in San Francisco. "USC," Matt confirmed, grinning at Valerie's encroaching sense of loss. "You've been dreaming of attending The Institute for the Art

chapter 23: : edited by viv : Stifling an inward grimace, Jacob threw his shoulders back, striding with naked purpose towards Carlos. "Well?" Carlos asked, his cocky grin not faltering as Jacob stood before him. "Well, what?" Jacob asked, placing his hands on his hips. Carlos took a moment to study Jacob, biting back the chuckle he felt growing as Jacob stood there trying too hard at being proud. "So, Cupcake, who locked the keys in the car, you or la novia?" Ca

chapter 22: : edited by viv : "So you reconsidered the generous offer?" Raul asked, trying to clarify Cody's ambiguous actions for himself, hoping he didn't have to resort to using what he had in the envelope. "It was pretty generous," Cody agreed, flashing his best cheeky smile at Raul. "It was, unfortunately," Raul paused for effect, having played this game before. He knew the kid was thinking he could squeeze more money out of the situation by appearing reticent; R

chapter 21: : edited by viv : Jacob held his breath, waiting for Cody's response. It had been, what, two years since he'd last seen Cody? "Yeah," the voice on the other end of the phone answered, and continued after a prolonged silence, "Long time no talk, huh?" Jacob nodded numbly, figuring that was answer enough, not taking into account that Cody wasn't standing in front of him as he looked at his mother. Joanne had set her fork calmly down on her plate when Jacob u