Graeme

Joey knows his walls are breaking; his reflection at the lake shows that. He thinks he's just lowering them, but I don't think it's in his control. They're breaking, not being voluntarily lowered. The interesting part is that others are seeing it, too. Ticker's comment about how he saw Allen and Joey together in the back of the car and how that just seemed 'right' is just one example. I disagree with Joey's comment at the end, though. It's more three steps forward and two steps back. There is still some net progress, even if the backward steps at the time seem overwhelming. Yes, there are backward steps, but they're not as big as Joey is feeling them to be.

I'm not as strong as Wesley, but that was a couple of days ago... We're seeing the continued building of a connection between Joey and Allen in this chapter. Caring for someone other than himself is a huge step forward for Joey, and it sounds like Allen is also starting to break out of his shell. His expression of a wish to die could be read as a cry for help, because he made it in the one place where it wasn't going to happen. He's still in a bad way, mentally, but he's got a lifeline in Joey, and Joey is more than willing to play that role. Here's hoping that Joey doesn't fail...

Leaving you past behind is difficult, but Joey's realised it's him he has to change first. That's not easy, either, but Joey's showing signs he wants to succeed. Let's see if he persists and doesn't give up (again) when things get difficult. As for Star and Ticker, all I can say is that not many people have a chance to find love through 'Wadsworth'...

Definitely worth reading again and again! Mike and Matt go through a lot together...but they do it together, and that's what makes them strong.

Joey's on his way back. He's settling into society again, and he's made a commitment to more than one person that he'll stay with Ticker's family. I think the way none of them said anything until Ticker's dad spoke in private plays a big part in helping Joey accept he's not alone. As for Star, she's wonderful By the end of the story, she's going to be an expert on Wadsworth

Monday, October 16 is Restart a Heart Day, promoting CPR and defibrillation awareness and education. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-10-16/gold-coast-lifesavers-stranger-death-drowning-humanity/9048592

Happy Birthday!

The thing that struck me about this chapter is how Allen and Joey interacted. Joey picked the right term: playfulness. The interesting thing is that neither of them have a reason to be playful. Both of their lives suck, but despite that they can forget that for a short time as they start to get to know each other. The ability to be playful is, to some extent, a surprise, and is probably the best medicine either could take for their emotional pain.

The one thing that came through clearly in this chapter was Joey's innate compassion. He took care of someone who was worse off than himself almost instinctively, with little thought of his own problems. If only Joey could see himself in an honest mirror...

Joey had built a set of armour around himself, but that armour has cracked and is falling away, piece by piece, leaving him vulnerable. The suicide attempt was the first sign, but quitting school and then running away from Tucker shows that he's still in a bad way. He needs help, but he's not going to seek it. Indeed, he'll probably resist any attempt, just like he's resisting Tucker's attempts to help him. That final scene shows that maybe, just maybe, Allen is the one who can help him, even if it's clear that Allen needs help, too.

I wonder how many people are like Joey, in that they try to take their lives, but regret that impluse soon afterwards. It's an extreme example of people doing something on impluse that they later wish they had never done Things are beginning to look up for Joey. He has a place to live, he has made the decison that he wants to live (which is the first step towards putting his life back on a more constructive path), and he opened up his social worker, even if only a little bit. Now he needs to open up a bit more. I'm in two minds about his made-up story to get out of the hospital. On one hand, his mental state, as revealed in the story, shows that he's well enough to be discharged, so making up a story to convince the hospital staff doesn't really matter. On the other hand, I suspect there's still some more deep-seated issues as a result of his treatment over the last few years that he needs help with (and not the smoking help that Ticker can provide). Now, we need to find out why Allen is hospital at the same time as Joey. (Full disclosure, I've read this story on Ronyx's website so I know the answer already...)

The frightening part of this chapter is how a single event -- being caught buying alcohol -- can lead to Joey reaching rock bottom and contemplating suicide. What I found frightening is how realistic it feels, but if we take step back we can see that it shouldn't be that way/ Joey has found people who care for him and want to help, but because of his mental state, he's not seeing that and has pushed it into the background, letting the bad stuff take over his mind. It's a small glimpse into the thought patterns of a potential suicide victim. The only strong positive for Joey's mental state was before all of that, when he contemplated sharing Sullivan Lake with Allen. That's the most personal thing he has, and he considered sharing it withe someone who needed it. A positive glimpse into the sort of person Joey could be if he's given the chance.

So the cast of characters assembles. There's something going on between Joey and Allen already, even if it's only just enough to give Joey a reason to keep going. He wants, he needs, to learn Allen's story. Sadly, it doesn't seem so far that Allen has the same desire. He also appears to be adding a second person to his friends list: Star. In the meantime, a conflict is brewing between Joey and Gene. All of this done in a natural way that's so characteristic of Ronyx's stories

Happy Birthday, Steve! I hope you have a great day

Welcome back

In many ways, this is the antidote for the first chapter. While he's the outcast at school, it feels 'normal', compared to the first chapter. Everything is consistent, but there's not the stress from the first chapter. Joey acknowledges what's going on at school, but it's not affecting him, unlike the events in chapter one. I wonder how much of that is from the strength and resilience he showed earlier allowing him to weather the storm of being outed as not only being gay, but also being a hustler. He certainly doesn't appear to be afraid of anyone at school.

A painful start. Joey has a lot of internal strength to endure all of the years since his parents found him with his uncle, but he needs to see a light at the end of the tunnel. If something doesn't change, I don't see him surviving. He may still be alive, but he won't be living.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-15/father-and-son-complete-kokoda-track-for-cerebral-palsy-mission/8945514?section=good-news As an explanation for an early comment in the article, 7:30 is the name of a current affairs TV show.

A perfect ending. A beautiful scene to start the chapter, where we learnt that Troy's most often command to Trixie was "Jayden". That brought a smile to my face and produced a lump in my throat. A little detail, but it encompassed so much. Then we jumped ahead a couple of months to graduation. The first scene was closing loose-ends between Troy and Jayden. The second scene was doing the same between Troy and school...and Will in particular. After thinking earlier in the story that he wouldn't be able to graduate with his friends, Troy was a central part in that graduation ceremony. A wonderful closure for one part of his life. Then the final scene, where we see Jayden and Troy starting a new life together in college. This is where we see Jayden accepting his new life, not only with Troy, but as part of the Neal family. The final piece to complete the journey down the . path and into the light of love and a new start. Thank you, Ron! This is yet another very special story that deserves to be read and re-read again and again.

A dramatic turn of events, though I'm glad that Jayden survived with only relatively minor injuires. As BrianM indicated above, the episode has certainly helped Troy work out what's going on inside his heart Detective Wallace redeemed himself, to some extent, in this chapter. He acted quickly to try to protect Jayden, unlike previously when his actions endangered the young man. That doesn't mean I'm willing to forgive his previous behaviour, but this chapter certainly mitigates some of the bad feelings. One more chapter to go...

An excellent choice! I loved reading it the first time, and now I have an incentive to read it again

Troy keeps telling himself that he's not ready for a relationship with Jayden, but he keeps betraying himself. He could have told people about the system Jayden uses with the food, but he didn't. That's something private between him and Jayden. There may be an element of dependency in their relationship, but I think it's more than Troy wants to keep the special things that Jayden does just between the two of them. One thing I noticed is that while Troy is still having mood swings, they're not as severe as they were earlier in the story. He is able to calm down and admit he's having problems, like he did with both his father and mother at different times in this chapter. That's progress, and hopefully it continues. Now we just need to find out what's happening with Jayden...

Three steps forwards, two steps back... Troy and Jayden, while acknowledging a connection between them, still aren't communicating. Jayden knows that Troy is still adjusting to what's happened to him -- the incident in the car with the young man and his car shows that -- but he hasn't realised how much of Troy's attention is focused on learning to cope. Jayden is part of Troy's life now, but while Troy is learning to live again, he's not the central part and Jayden doesn't quite realise that yet. He's reading too much into Troy asking him to wait. On Troy's side, he's not told Jayden how he feels, not really. Jayden has shown Troy what's going on inside his heart, but Troy has only shown glimpses of what's going on inside his own. They're both getting there, but they both need to understand that the other person's expectations and hopes are not identical to their own. One of Troy's priorities is simply to learn to be independent again, and Jayden needs to understand that. Troy needs to understand that Jayden is falling for him...and that it's not pity.

Todd asked Neil to read the original note to him. That included Alf's email address

As an aside, it's not difficult to shave without being able to see. I've been shaving without a mirror for years -- it's easy to feel if the skin is smooth and where you need to run the razor a second or third time. This is the chapter where we see Troy take his first tentative steps back into life. He realises things have changed, and he's finding that fightening, but he's no rejecting it out of hand. Jayden makes the difference As for Jayden, Penny nailed it when she noticed that Jayden doesn't see Troy as someone who is disabled. He sees Troy as Troy, which is a rare skill. I wish more people had that ability...