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Graeme

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Everything posted by Graeme

  1. Graeme

    The Wish Box

    Things are slowly progressing, but living in the countryside sometimes slow is the right pace. Life in the big city and life on the farm happen at two different rates, and that's what we're seeing. Ben and his life in the tabloids is moving fast, but Travis and his life on the farm is plodding along. Ben recognises he needs to slow down or he's going to trip and fall, and he knows that Travis is helping him do so. Travis is beginning to realise that Ben can give him the support he desperately needs, and that's not just finanical support. Travis needs help and he's not getting it from his family. Ben can give him that help. Different worlds, but when you take the best of both and put them together, you can make something magical. Ben sees it, I think, and Travis maybe getting an inkling. We'll have to wait and see if they can make it work. As an aside, the worst of those different worlds will hit both of them soon, and that's a storm they'll have to weather. They won't be able to weather it alone -- they'll need to do it together, or they'll find themselves blown apart...
  2. Do we charge the real costs associated with other forms of transport? The reason we don't build many new train lines (at least here in Australia) is that the cost of doing so is prohibitive. The land costs alone are astronomical without adding in long lengths of infrastructure that then has to be maintained. Air transport has the advantage that the infrastructure costs are only for the start and end points -- the space inbetween doesn't cost anything to maintain. When you look at it from that perspective, are you taking into account the pollution costs of maintenance for trains and their required infrastructure when you say that airplanes are the worst pollution form of transport? What about the cost of concentrating travel pollution in a single narrow channel, as distinct from spreading it around by travelling over a broader channel? There may be more total pollution in the broader channel, but the mere fact that it's spread around more may be enough for the environment to cope better than the fixed narrow channel presented by ground transport. I don't know -- I'm just presenting it for consideration. As you said, we usually don't think about the total cost of things, only the narrow, immediate part that we see. But we're moving towards driverless cars. If we have flying driverless cars, would we have the problems you envisage? Many SF stories involve flying vehicles that do not have drivers -- the vehicles are automated, eliminating many of the problems you've mentioned.
  3. Graeme

    Chapter 2

    We can see at the start why Corey and Brett are breaking up. Corey doesn't seem to be as interested in what Brett wants -- he's assuming he knows. Sadly, that's true for way too many relationships. Charlie seems to know what's going on, but Corey was clueless -- something also sadly true too many times. This chapter is telling us that Brett's not a bastard, he's not a bad guy, and that Corey has to share at least some of the fault in the relationship breakdown. As for Corey's mother, I wonder if she's been wilfully blind, or because Brett and Corey have been together for twelves years she didn't see their relationship change, but saw it more as simply an evolution of two guys who are best mates. Regardless, Corey is right that he doesn't get on very well with her -- that comes over loud and clear...
  4. Graeme

    Chapter 1

    As a general rule, I find flashbacks intrusive and disruptive, but this is a great example of how to use them properly. Corey is experiencing a breakup with his best friend and lover, and flashbacks are being used to contrast the old and the new. With only a few short scenes, we get a real feel for Corey and Brett's relationship and why Corey is feeling like he is. I, too, have read this story before, but I'm looking forward to reading it again.
  5. We have quite a variety here. Romance is popular, as is basic teenage dramas, but there are also a number of dark tales, lots of science fiction and fantasy (werewolves are popular for some reason), some historical fiction, comedy, suspense, mysteries, creative non-fiction and pretty much everything in between. We're currently going through a software upgrade, but feel free to browse through the different genres and tags available. Personally, I tend to write romance/drama stories set in Australia, but I've been known to make exceptions...
  6. How do you know it's more prevalent today, and not simply being better diagnosed and reported? It's possible that it may be overdiagnosed, but that's a different question. ADHD is a relatively new diagnosis, not making it into the DSM until 1968 under the name of Hyperkinetic Impulse Disorder. Once it was an 'officially recognised' diagnosis, it then took time before doctors accepted it. It didn't get the name ADHD until the 1980s. So, naturally you won't find any diagnoses of ADHD before then.
  7. I believe the change to the story text/background is the intent. Some people find white on black easier to read.
  8. Graeme

    In the Spotlight

    The two things that impressed me the most were Ben unselfconsciously trying (and succeeding) to relax Travis, and Travis making a public declaration that Ben is special and means too much to him to let him go. Their relationship has taken another step forward, so something good has come from Ben being outed. As others have said, the ball is back in Ben's court as to how he'll deal with it. He's going to have some troubles with his mother, but overall I think that voicemail was positive. The bigger issue is whether, like he did with his sister, he stands up for himself or lets himself be swept away by either his media team (trying to tone things down) or by the sensationalist elements of the media (trying to intrude too much into his private life).
  9. Another fantastic chapter. Thank you! The interaction between the brothers, Uncle Johnny, Efrain, and everyone else was just perfect. The only thing missing was when Preston said something to Conner, I expected Conner to go all alpha, and then Indie would say something like "Preston, you're cleaning up the blood stains. I'm not doing it." Preston would then respond with something like "This is Cory's brother. I'm not going to hurt him any more than necessary." The reaction of the Card brother's to that exchange would've been fun to see. Sadly, Indie's not as sarcastic as he used to be...and I blame Preston for that
  10. As Valkyrie has indicated, we're trying to keep issues to a single thread, rather than having lots of threads with comments/questions/concerns. Please check out the Bugs Report thread that's pinned in the Help and Announcements forum (or simply click on the link provided in this post )
  11. Most people won't know who I'm talking about, but I think most of our New Zealand and Australian members will. Murray Ball, the creator of the iconic Footrot Flats comic strip, has passed away. A few tributes from his fans I still own copies of the first thirteen volumes of Footrot Flats. I think it might be time to look at them again...
  12. Story Dogs helping children learn to read BBC live TV interview gatecrashed by guest's children
  13. He ain't heavy, he's my brother 95-year-old comes out
  14. Graeme

    Mask of Stoicism

    I don't normally like dream sequences, because I find them cliched and either heavy-handed or obstuse to the point of being meaningless, but this one grabbed me. The dead look in Travis's eyes was what got me. Ben's unconscious knows that there is a large dead part inside Travis, and until it's brought back to life, there's not going to be a future for them. That's the message I got from the dream. As for Katy, it was time for her to learn the truth. I appreciate and applaud Travis for wanting to hide it from her, but with Eric back she needed to know. What I'm afraid of is how she's going to deal with that truth over the next few days. Finding out that her brother had been abused, and in such vicious detail, isn't something most teeenagers know how to handle. I hope all three of them survive the next few days and come out stronger, not more damaged...
  15. Graeme

    Chapter 18

    Thank you! I think it's well known by now that I love a happy ending Peter came around, even if it was a struggle initially. His love for Alan was too strong, and eventually he was able to extend that love to the two boys.
  16. Graeme

    Chapter 21

    It's good that Ryder has finally opened up regarding his insecurities to his dad and told him how much pressure he feels he's under. I think taking the job at UT will be good for everyone, but only if Ryder can continue to stay at the same school. That was implied, but the reference to moving to a new house raised alarm bells with me. This is not the time for more change in Ryder's life. I wonder how long it will be before Ryder asks if Tyler can go with them on spring break...
  17. That's ( a + b )^2 but that's not the case here because n^2+2n+2 isn't a perfect square.
  18. What you have is two equation: n x (n+1) + (n+2) (n+2) x (n+1) - n Both of these simplify to: n x n + 2 x n + 2 So, yes, they'll always be equal. Basic mathematics
  19. I have scanned the report and there's one thing that's missing with the data -- whether the participant in the studies was out. I can see that a gay teenager in 1998 may tell a researcher that they're gay, but not be out, while today a teenager in the same situation is more likely to be out. Could it be that the difference is due to more teenagers coming out, and since they're out, they find participating in sport less attractive (eg. due to homophobia from teammates)?
  20. Graeme

    The Ring

    Travis doesn't have an easy life. Out of all the people he normally interacts with, it appears the vast majority don't like him or use him. He's really isolated socially, which may be why Ben has such an influence on him. I fear that the return of Eric will mean some secrets being revealed. That's not going to make Travis's life any easier, but he'll do it if that's the only way to protect his sister...
  21. Graeme

    Confession

    Since this is from Ben's point of view, and now that he knows what Travis has been doing to earn extra 'stud' fees, will Ben wonder if those final comments from Travis were real, or part of the 'job'? The clues are there that the comments are real, but Ben has shown that deep down, he's quite insecure. In the lust of the moment, he didn't care, but when he has a chance to reflect, it's going to worry him.
  22. Graeme

    Flying O Ranch

    Rather than contemplating the ending, I am more interested in the start and middle. The relationship between Ben and Travis includes a lot of lust -- the scene in the truck shows that -- but there's definitely more to it than that. Ben's dismissal of the girls in the lift indicates he's not just after a lay, something his sister also recognises. If it was a passing thing, she wouldn't have warned Travis the way she did. I hope Bryan comes around, because it would be painful for Ben if he lost that friendship, especially with his brother-in-law to be.
  23. Graeme

    Chapter 17

    To be honest, I can't think of many things worse than false accusations of something as emotional and insidious as child abuse. It must be soul-destroying to be accused of something like that
  24. Graeme

    Chapter 18

    Thank you! The people responsible for chasing up on child abuse allegations are often in a no-win situation. If they're doing their job properly, they have to chase it up because otherwise a child could be left in an abusive situation. Unfortunately, those sort of allegations are extremely easy to make and when there's a bitter custody case, that can leave the social workers unnecessary work to do.
  25. Graeme

    Chapter 18

    Thank you! Cutting onions while reading seem to be widespread problem. The same thing has happened to me many times
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