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Mawgrim

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Everything posted by Mawgrim

  1. Mawgrim

    Fights and Flights

    S'brin is really showing his emotional immaturity the moment and probably taking too much notice of some of the other green riders in the Wing.
  2. D’gar woke with a pounding head. They’d sat out by the lake for a long time, drinking steadily. At some point, M’rell had gone to fetch more alcohol. He’d stayed, staring at the water, illuminated by the light of Timor, which was just sinking below the rim of the Bowl. The light had steadily faded until there was nothing left but blackness. He’d thought it seemed very symbolic. Dark and empty, like his life. Then M’rell had returned with a skin of wine. ‘Shouldn’t mix wine and ale,’ he’d protested. ‘Why not?’ M’rell had said, then laughed. ‘Wine not.’ He’d found it funny, too, b
  3. Mawgrim

    Agitato

    Wow! I was on edge during the whole drive to Chicago. Who needs high speed car chases when the tension can ratchet up just as effectively at a crawl? Marta is a quick thinking girl. I really hope she manages to see Jared again. Her parents are hideous human beings, obviously worried they will lose control of Gus and his earning ability. Loved the way Rick's growing confidence is helping him to take control. And it must have boosted him immensely to hear Gus saying he was 'a wonderful man'. The stage is set for the big showdown. Can't wait to see what happens next.
  4. Mawgrim

    Chapter 5

    This is heartbreaking, but very true to life.
  5. Mawgrim

    Chapter 30

    There's something very awe inspiring about visiting a site of such antiquity, so discovering one must be even more so. I’ve read before about the possibility that Irish monks visited North America and although it seems incomprehensible to us that people could have traveled so far in tiny boats, it’s certainly not impossible. And here we have evidence for it.
  6. Mawgrim

    Summer

    Matt is having to confront some big decisions. He knows he can be over emotional and he has been burned before, so doesn't dare to get too close to Seamus. Even though he's looking after a young child, he still has all of the insecurities of someone his age. He's not going to be able to grow up overnight. I hope Seamus can understand that and give him the space he needs.
  7. Mawgrim

    Rain

    Quite a lot of backstory in this chapter and a few mysteries still left unexplained, such as why Roan disappeared for a year and a half. Am I reading it right that Cheryl may know more about this than she was saying? Jared says that they have fought three times -the first when Cheryl called out his dad for making a racist comment and the third when she felt uncomfortable about them getting so involved with Roan. As the second time wasn’t mentioned, I’m guessing that’s relevant to the plot and will be revealed later.
  8. Mawgrim

    A Day Out

    Watch this space. Nothing will be resolved quickly or easily here, in either case.
  9. Mawgrim

    A Day Out

    He's under the influence of a hormonal dragon right now, so until she gets her rocks off, he won’t be acting in a sensible manner!
  10. Mawgrim

    A Day Out

    ‘Twenty-five eggs,’ T’garrin said. ‘That’s a good number for a young queen. Most people reckoned there’d be far less.’ ‘Bet you’re glad about that.’ M’ta had his feet up along the bench and was paring his fingernails with his belt knife. ‘More marks for you.’ M’rell chuckled. ‘I’m glad I’m not the one having to hang around on the Sands in this weather. How can she stand it?’ D’gar was drinking fruit juice. It was far too hot for klah. He’d heard it said that this was the hottest summer in living memory. The fields of Fort Hold were brown rather than green and even the more north
  11. Mawgrim

    Risoluto

    Brilliant! Irene has spread the news exactly as Rick wanted and Rita is finished in town. I even felt a tiny bit sorry for her (maybe for a millisecond). Rick is growing in confidence by the minute as he takes control of his life. But what an ominous note with which to end the chapter. Bet the Takacs have closed up the house and fled, taking Gus with them. Bit of an extreme reaction, if that's the case, but I'm sure that Rick will be in hot pursuit.
  12. Mawgrim

    Beacon

    I don't think it was badly written. I usually read fast and sometimes skim over detail. As there was so much information, I needed to go over it again to make sure I hadn't missed anything important.
  13. This is a really interesting and different story. I’m enjoying it greatly so far.
  14. Mawgrim

    Beacon

    There's a lot of information in this chapter. It's very intense. The description of the characters and their emotional conflicts is well done, although I did have to re-read it to understand everything that had been going on up to that moment. Why did Cheryl end up at Roan's house when there is still so much unresolved anger for what happened in the past? I’m assuming that although he cut himself off from their lives at the beginning of the relationship, they all somehow ended up as friends again. Hopefully, some of this will become clear in subsequent chapters.
  15. Mawgrim

    Prologue

    Writing advice always tells you to start in the middle of the conflict and you've certainly done that. It's a short chapter, but definitely makes the reader want to find out the reason for Jared's wife going to Roan's house and what led to the situation having got so out of control.
  16. I’m trying to use this technique to work out a premise for a story I’m currently working on but I have two main point of view characters, both of whom have different objectives, even though their lives intertwine. The only way I can think of doing it is a sentence for both: A newly-hired chief projectionist discovers his predecessor invented a device that has stirred up malevolent forces within the cinema. A young woman, whose mother died under mysterious circumstances, find herself drawn to the same place, convinced she will find the answers there.
  17. Mawgrim

    Chapter 4

    You forget how terrifying job interviews can be as a teenager. Wonder if Tom put in a good word for him?
  18. Mawgrim

    Chapter 1

    This chapter dredged up all of my horrible memories of school. People who call it 'the best days of my life' are obviously those who fit in.
  19. Fantasy can be difficult to do well. I think what annoys me with some books is where the author has got so engrossed in their world building that it overwhelms the story with lots of info dumping. I also get annoyed by too much dropping in of made up languages and lots of unpronounceable names. As @astone2292 said, limitations are important. Once the rules for, say, the use of magic are set up, they shouldn't be changed or contradicted. Too many characters introduced at once can be confusing, although this can be a problem in any genre.
  20. I don’t think I could even start to follow all of those instructions. I did once write a story using the structure of 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces' but it was hard going. I think that trying to do all of these exercises would be more likely to lead me into procrastination rather than actual writing! Its a good idea, though and would probably suit the kind of writer who likes to spend loads of time planning out before actually diving in to the story.
  21. The moral of this story is that you should always have backups made, preferably one on an external device plus one in the cloud! Glad they managed to recover your data, though. It can be a tricky process.
  22. Mawgrim

    Chapter 29

    That turned out well and I’m glad that River View farm is now safe from development. The horses are real characters and Mary turns out to be something of a horse-whisperer. I see lots of work on the horizon for the boys.
  23. Mawgrim

    Changes

    Here's that list of characters! Follow this link.
  24. Eighth Pass - Fort Weyr Characters Weyrleader and Weyrwomen T'ron & Fidranth (bronze) - Weyrleader - also Wingleader of 'A' Wing. Mardra & Loranth (gold) - Weyrwoman - leads the Queens' Wing. Valli & Kadoth (gold) - Former Weyrwoman when D'gar Impresses Herebeth, who hatches from Kadoth's last clutch of eggs in Turn 43 of the Eighth Pass. Tirelle & Suderoth (gold) - junior weyrwoman and weyrmate of V'dul (bronze Sarneth). Zalna & Gemalth (gold) - youngest junior weyrwoman. Gemalth hatches from Suderoth's clutch in Turn 44. Has relationsh
  25. Mawgrim

    Changes

    That's not a bad idea. I have a massive list of dragons and riders, their ages, wing positions and character notes in Evernote. I try to only introduce a few new characters at a time, but I guess it is getting to be a rather large cast!
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