Razor

I've thought about that idea before, that events/people leave a certain something behind in a place which gives it that feeling. However, since people can often feel completely different about a place, I disregard that as a weird little psychological thing. Any fans of my first serial would be interested in knowing that Ms. Mary Lou Clark informed me that I'm psychic. Of course, for twenty bucks she damn well better make me feel special.

What level of anxiety is "normal"? Cause I'm a total freak. I worry. And then I worry about worrying. And then I worry about the people who are involved in what I'm worrying about. And then I start to think they don't really like me, or they're using me, or something like that. I worry that people have some terrible ulterior motive for speaking to me. I second guess everything I say. I have to actually formulate each sentence in my head, scan it, and then say it before I can do anything. The only time I don't do that is when I'm around small groups of close friends, and even then sometimes I still do. I drive myself up a wall sometimes obsessing about the same thing. I'll go to great lengths to avoid situations that make me nervous. I don't like meeting new people, especially by myself. Even while I'm talking, there's a billion thoughts running through my brain. When something happens, I automatically assume the worst. So, anybody else crazy like me? Or a little less? Or, heaven forbid, a little more? Discuss.

No such thing. Period. It's nice to think about, though.

You know, I'll feel really stupid if the aliens do ever come along and I don't have insurance... Oh, and you should read about some of the things that have been insured, like Pamela Anderson's breasts... some chick's legs... umm, other random body parts. I wish I could remember more names, a lot of these were pretty funny. Some guy had his penis insured; wonder how weird that would be for a claims adjuster. "Well, sir, you're only missing half of it according to the measurement you gave us... "

Wow, James! That's impressive. If I pay you, will you break some people in half for me? I promise to even bail you out if you get caught... it'll be fun, we'll make a day of it. As much as people say that looks aren't everything, they are important. Some people just don't like some things. I personally just have a weird issue with dating outside of my race. I've never been racist or anything like that, but for some strange reason I like the little white boys. ~shrugs~ I also am not overly fond of guys with very long hair. Guys who are really tan don't really grab my attention, either. The point is that everyone goes for certain things, no matter what they say. Now, does personality trump physical appearance? In my book it certainly does. I've met more than one guy who was just "myeh" when I looked at him, and five minutes later he had me wanting to rip his clothes off. For me, personality is the hottest thing about a guy, without exception.

Earning trust? I think the idea of "earned" trust is a big problem. When I meet a person, unless I have obvious reason, I immediately place a good level of trust with that person. I agree to give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong. I've always been that way, so I give people a chance instead of being closed off. Earning trust makes it sound like you have to do some gigantic thing to get someone to not brush you off to the side... I prefer the idea of trusting until found untrustworthy. At least I can always say I tried to be their friend.

I can't even begin to figure out how the whole mess works. When I meet someone I can be around for more than one day and not want to kill, maybe something'll happen. That doesn't happen really often, though, and most of the time they wanna kill me anyway. I'm editing cause I just noticed what Jan said. I think that's a huge thing, two people managing to be totally open with each other. A relationship is based in trust, and if you don't know your partner will be completely open with you, what's the point?

That's insane. That's like beyond insane, and well into "Oh my god, only the judicial system can come up with something that f**ked up"-ness. That man should be tied down and raped by overly endowed men for his entire prison sentence, which should be forever. No lube.

TISNF!!!! Don't you just LOVE that commercial??!?!?!

Happy birthday.

Beat the holy HELL out of a child if they can't act right. Pick up a switch and go to town on some bare legs. Half the problem is parents who won't punish their kids when they know they've done something wrong. When a kid knows he can do something insane and get a time out or be grounded for a week, it's pretty easy for them to walk all over their parents. And if I ever have a kid and I feel that the situation calls for it, YES, I will spank them. And if they do something really bad I'll take 'em to see my mama and give her a switch and a flip flop in the other hand and see if they ever do it again. Child abuse is when you leave scars and break bones. Child discipline is when you leave a nice welt and a serious hesitancy to do what they did again. I think people should consider what is actually harm and what is building character. Harm is when you hit your child without telling them what they did wrong if they even did anything wrong, yelling at them, calling them names, and causing emotional damage; it's not when you give them a spanking because they threw a brick through a window or smacked around another kid. If you're a good parent you shouldn't have an occasion to hit your kids often. My mother's told me more than once that she's only spanked me twice in my life and once I didn't deserve it. I STILL remember getting cornered in a kitchen with a switch and dancing around trying to get away. I did deserve that one, and I figured out why I deserved it, and I didn't do that shit no more.

Now that made me giggle. And if you're the person in the picture you posted you're definitely pretty good yourself. Thanks guys.

James... you... just... wow. You're my favorite.

Krista's got a good point. I agree that there are some things that are just a little bit... much to be on TV in the middle of the day. But, I also believe that no matter what's on, it's the parents' responsibility to control what their kids see. Blaming others has become a national hobby, and parents need to grow some gonads and learn to take a belt to their kid when they don't act right, and tell them they're proud of them when they do act right. Take responsibility for your own kid and quit shifting it to TV, music, and video games. Good kids don't raise themselves.

~sighs~ Terrible picture taken on a webcam in my less-than-squeaky-clean bathroom. It's yellowy, grainy, and I'm not the slimmest and prettiest guy in the world. Have fun. http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y99/nifty...erjc/Image1.jpg

I capitalized damn for a reason. I just saw the most incredibly stupid thing I have in a long, long time on TV. You know that my chemical romance song, teenagers? (All decapitalized for my shitty r key not working and sake of parallelism) They bleeped the words gun, shirt, pay, murder, shit, and umm... well that might be all. But COME ON!??!?! What the HELL is wrong with these people? This whole censorship thing is going way, way overboard. That's just stupid. I raise a middle finger toward anyone whose sensibilities are so fragile. When you scramble under the bed at the sound of a little violence or a curseword in a song, you need to shut the hell up and let the normal people have fun.

I found it kind of funny. I'll have sex with whoever I damn well please, regardless of any law. There's just no way someone's going to tell me what I can and cannot do on my own property in privacy so long as it doesn't harm anyone else.

I despise lawyers in general because they're mostly lowdown, dirty, scheming, mean people. I've met about two that actually had moral standards. The rest make Hitler look like an okay guy. For instance, one of the major reasons I don't have the gigantic 300,000 dollar market value house we lived in is because the lawyer pulled a fast one in the middle of a bankruptcy, and was employed by both my mother and the bank that was dealing with our loan. I'm certain that's so illegal it's not funny, but it seems that a lot of documents cannot be found for some reason. The kicker? Last I heard the house was bought at an auction, one of those distressed property type deals, for something between three and four hundred dollars by a man living in Texas. In short, lawyers are generally sleazes. A few are nice, though. Too bad you guys don't beat up the bad ones.

I confess that I'm an insane, clingy, crush-having weirdo who, even after being rejected, still remains secretly hopeful about past relationships even though it's clear that they will never work that way. I also confess that I intend to go to England this summer and, with the aid of a good friend, find a gay bar and get drunk and felt up as soon as possible. It sounds so scandalous when I say it that way. Oh, and I love lawyer jokes, too. Secretly, I once considered pursuing law as a profession, but the good won out over the evil.

Haha, don't get me started about being rich. I wanna be filthy rich. I wanna be so rich it burns. Money money money money money, falling out of my ears! Why do I want to be filthy rich? Years of scraping by, that's why. I wanna have the money for things I want, not things I need. Big difference there. I will concede that money does not exactly equal happiness, but it's a damn good stepping stone. Luc said it really well in his last sentence. I want to have enough to share without cutting myself out of the equation. EDIT: Okay, I had to do a quick edit to add in a thought. It's all hunky dory to talk about being rich in kindness or love, but that doesn't pay bills, buy food, or put clothes on you. It's hard as hell to love anyone when you're worried about how you'll pay the rent or light bill. I have to say that I really believe that people who have had the luxury of having more than they need all their life just don't understand that fully. Sure, they get the concept kinda sorta, but they don't have that comprehension of exactly what it's like to be faced with the possibility of having nothing, period. It feels like you're naked, totally exposed to the world. All those careful little safety nets you've built fall down, all the eggs you nested away disappear, and suddenly you realize that you are the only thing holding you back from being utterly screwed. That's kinda scary.

You're my hero, bud. I never could've done that.

Gay Boyfriend By The Hazards One two ready go! I'm tired of boys who make me cry They cheat on me and they tell me lies. I want a love who'll never stray. When he sees other girls he looks away. And if he never kisses me well that's alright Cause we can just cuddle all night. Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend! I don't really care that you are queer. Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend! I never feel lonely when you are near. It'll be a great romance; We'll go shopping and buy tight pants! You don't care how big my ass is, Just how fabulous my dress is. Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend! I don't really care that you are queer. Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend! I never feel lonely when you are near. He'll cry at movies on our dates, romantic comedies sure are great! And when you cry I'll dry your tears Cause I'll always think that you are fierce. Well I like cigarettes and that's no gag, but you'll always be my favorite fag, you'll always be my favorite fag, you'll always be my favorite faaaaaaaaaaaaag! Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend! I don't really care that you are queer. Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend! I never feel lonely when you are near. Oh come on, could it be any cuter?

My problem seems to be that I cross the line too much. I've decided that the real problem is I'm blind. I can't see the line, and therefore have no idea of when I've actually crossed it. I also decided that I've been living on the other side of it for years now. Who needs the line anyway? We should all dance on it, muah ha ha! This has been a random thought message based on the thought that people shouldn't get so riled up over what comes out of other people's mouths, thank you for listening, and feel free to discuss the things that you think are just so far over the line it's unreal, and even just where you think the line is at. Converse, converse, and converse some more. Now. Get on it, idiots. Oh wait, there's that damn line again...

You know, I have to stay a little buzzed to put up with them all. After about three beers and a little smoke, the relatives were ever so much easier to get along with. After the fifth beer they were plain damn awesome. My grandmother and her boytoy, my sister and her boytoy, my crazy redneck uncle and his wife all came over. It wasn't a good mix. Grandma's well to do and high class. Sister's a little nutso and has a thing for darker guys. Uncle's far too fond of racist jokes and redneckishness. My aunt Jennifer's always pretty nifty, though. Me? As always, I'm everyone's favorite, hehe. No, seriously... for some reason they like me, I don't get it, weirdos. Maybe it's my strange ability to smile and nod at just about everybody when I have to. My sister's little boyfriend is okay. About halfway through my uncle visiting, I was ready to spaz the hell out from all the tension in the air. Told him if he knew where to get a handful of valium I'd gladly pay and share and he offered to drive if I could find anybody, lmao. We ALL needed them, badly. My family's such a mess, lol. It was an interesting weekend, a little too interesting for my taste. Being bored is extremely underrated.

It's a nice place. Watch out for... ~lowers voice to whisper~ teh gayz. Yep, keep your eyes peeled, seems like for some reason they're everywhere around here. You close your eyes for a second and BAM, you'll be fabulousified.