JayBear

Wow. This story has an incredibly unlikable protagonist. You did a bang-up job of fore-shadowing all the things he has to learn to correct, to learn the hard way. I'll give him a couple more chapters but I don't think I will be able to stand him for 80.

Good baseball writing.

An excellent first chapter. Great writing.

This has been a very enjoyable story this far. Do you have any interest in finishing it?

I am confused. In the United States, Thanksgiving is a national holiday that falls on the fourth Thursday in November. Since the. 1940's, the holiday itself is always on Thursday, even if family gatherings are a different day. All non-essential businesses are closed. Schools do not have classes. Even sports practices are postponed until Friday.

Interesting and unique plot. Very well written with well-developed and believable characters. This story really shines. Well-edited with very few, if any, grammatical errors. A pleasure to read.

I am enjoying the story quite a bit. I, as the previous commentor did, have noticed some sound-alike words that are not correct. This is a very common occurrence on this site. I think there must be an automatic editor going around changing words to what it thinks they should be. For example, this chapter, 7th paragraph: Semi-circle should be semi-circular Them should be him Volt should be vault Calf pants should be mid-calf pants. I will try to butt-out of your writting unless you want me to make corrections. 30 years of reading Junior and Senior reports has made me catching nonstandard usage at a glance. Again, your story line is excellent so far.

And then what happened?

This really sucks. If you want to keep readers then avoid crap like this. Assh***.

Well, this is several different kettles of fish. Nicely plotted.

Nice story Well written. Very disappointing ending. You put your readers through a lot to end up without an ending. You are the author. Pick ONE. What did you as a writer mean to express?

In the words of the famous radio newscaster Paul Harvey, "What's the rest of the story?"

I.a?

I found this to be a very disappointing chapter. The plot device of leaving an open computer spying program on the sheriff's computer does not fit with the professionalism of either the attorney or the sheriff, especially with the sheriff deciding to become completely above board for the election. Even if that part is accepted as a necessary writing convention, an experienced attorney would not allow his new aide to view a police interview. I'm not sure that I want to finish reading this story.

Great sex scene.