Mattyboy

"So! Next chapter is going to be mostly sunshine and rainbows because I am emotionally tired 😄 Also, smut because of reasons 😘" Well, sure, I expect the sex to be good, but frankly, my narrative expectation is for quite a LOT of violence at this point. In the form of sunshine and rainbows will be fine, but violence and plenty of it. and I hope Wren gets to eat, too.

Got here late, but yes, Wren is wonderful fun. Ghastly, but fun.

He's totally vibing with Kal. "You're always a little upset" was bang on.

'You're like one of the most decent guys in school. A bit of an anxiety whirlwind sometimes . . . " Wow, Veronica certainly has a handle on who's who. I expect Cal can swim his way out of this.

sooo many allusions . . . and the boys are 🐺🐺 while they're on school teams. Perhaps I'm taking this too far... as I see in that essay Woolf says that moths are not gay, but they can make one conscious of queer feelings.

Friday before a game day might well be a rest day? I don't know much about how a school team like St Frank's would organize themselves, but it seemed plausible to me. And from my rugby days, I certainly don't recall anything good ever happening from non-rugby people being in a rugby room postgame, and we never had topless cheerleaders (I don't know much about how a school like St Frank's would operate, but Sean seems to). That final scene actually extends the chrysalis-imago entomological metaphor a bit... Cal is drawn by the commotion and the light, but nothing good ever happens for the moth who makes it to the flame.

Ok, so how did we get from "Chris was sitting on a chair with his hands tied behind his back" to "He reached out and pawed" ? Cal's messy mind on overdrive?

"I would spin my doubt into a cocoon of faith and, in chrysalis, glimpse the infinite" . . . "I had emerged from all these iterations of the soul and the flesh into broad-chested imago" 👏 👏👏 I see you, @Sean J Halford, using your writerly tricks and returning to the opening idea at the end. 🐛 🦋 I was kind of aware that imago has different situational definitions and usages, but looking that up sure lifted a veil in this chapter. I've learned from @Dan South to go to the dictionary early and often while reading this.

Oh, and I have just gotten around to realizing it's the title phrase for this chapter. So... many... layers.

Chris: "I just need this year to go smoothly, you know?" Cal: "Perhaps Chris was a 4-D hyperdude. Who liked my friends. Who liked me." Right there, folks, if you look closely you can see the tightly wound coiled spring that keeps this story ticking.

Oh yeah, Jason. Who needed dealing with back from chapter 2 or so. Cal has become quite Chrisoriented, because, well, cinnamon roll. But that Cal is an elite swimmer (and in a place that's good at swimming) has come out of the storyline for a bit. Very cool that that thread of the story is back. And yay for found families and families of origin.

Yay Matt being a good human. And thank you for the Berceuse, it is a very calming piece.

I was having a fey moment, and started having fun building it out. Or was 👁️ ?

it occurs to me that Laura has dabbled with supernatural themes in the past, and we really don't know much about Grandma. Although, it's probly just ugly duckling body image issues.

"Waves have rhythms" is a lovely thought. I've heard other versions of that idea, but they're longer and clunkier. And not as perfect for a surfer boy.

Mike Delport was nice to Cal back in an early chapter, right? and wasn't part of the bike-shed bully crew? Sorry to see his calf blow up like that, then.

These chapters seem to always include a turn in the road, and by the end point you can't see the start any more. (Don't make the installments shorter, Sean, the pacing is great). but yes, that business of the boys not going two-hundred-miles-an-hour, and "maybe we're just emotional-support-bros-with-family-issues" has well and truly sailed.

Back from the 'rugby" part of the chapter... looks like Chris now the first XV fly-half-presumptive?

Cubby and the Thing were such perfect gifts. And Chris (and the time out of school up at the Teakloof cottage) have boosted Cal's enormously. This is suddenly a fairly reciprocal and equal relationship.

I was kind of reading this as just lost-a-few-key-teen-years to taking care of grandma. Maybe combined with some homeschooling, but I see Laura implies attending at least some school earlier on. Interesting set up, I'm intrigued.

I thought the Martin Smits story did a lot... it shows that Chris has been having deep "social system" thoughts. It's very old history for him, but it's mixed right into the present. Which is why the golden boy with the 10 on his back and the 10 over his head for the cheerleaders, who'd be perfectly able to integrate into that social group, wants to sit with Cal and his friends and go for real : he's already climbed that ladder once, and has matured to the point that he wants to chart his own path. (I also liked the Martin Smits story, for the Archie comics detail. That kind of group-turns-on-one-person bullying is most obvious when it's over something wildly trivial and normal like that, until suddenly someone decides Archie is anathema, and BAM, we're off to the Island of Misfit Toys.) Chris' diary also sets off how much of the first chapters aren't just fancy writing on Halford's part... but he's been showing us how rich and messy and clever and about- to-spiral-off-into-depression Cal's mental life is. Chris is a thinker too, but in a much more straightforward way. Chris knows how to navigate a Capetown high school, but a relationship with Cal is still a new challenge. So there's a lot of answers here for what the heck Chris thinks he's doing, as well as how Halford is telling Cal and Chris' stories.

Chris' perspective is so much fun after Cal's. And explains so much!

My heart had finally had enough and staged a coup in my brain I❤️ this turn of phrase

I also really liked the hotel room and 'team' scenes, showing Charlie and Jackson and Drae, and Tara and Shay all having grown with each other as teammates. The serious-but-comfortable vibe was cool. This has really grown from an emergency fix to something pretty great for Jackson. The nice team-vibe resonates especially after last episode, when Jack told Welker he didn't feel supported by the school, so he didn't want the school taking credit for him or celebrating him. (Although Jackson should change his tune with on that, Welker might want to shove it Cindy's face that Jackson has worked really hard and that a major university values him enough to pay up with a scholarship.)

"The only thing that stung was the fact there would be no true redemption, no chance at a last second rally to finally beat Pete." Great sentence, Krista, but what about the 💯? Love the race descriptions, what a meet! Although from my limited swim-racing experience, I have no idea how somebody in 3 could have a clue what was going on in 8 or beyond. Looking forward to Ep52 and the 100-final! Outstanding focus from Jackson, he hasn't even looked up for Luke yet.