Bondwriter

Yes, but they just rephrase what's been wisely put up by an elder in a slightly more complex way, lol. Thanks for the link. I'll check it out.

A cute Valentine story. The whole British school setting always works for me, even though here we don't have an all-boy school. But the girls are pleasant characters. 'Assembly', 'upper fifth', 'games' instead of sports... The two weeks I spent in a school in London when I was 13 did leave a mark. Camy's really good with teenage characters, that's no surprise, and this secret love between friends, and this cute narrator are just great. I'm a fan, definitely.

Rereading my reply as I check wrathofmagneto's one, I think it is confused, so I'll go with unrelated statements, which may be as confusing in the end, but intended to be less so. *You may disagree with people's acts or thoughts without hating them. *Arguing/ fighting cannot be avoided to be on a higher moral plane It also brings improvements. *In-the-face rhetoric can be used by good people. *Humor can be seen as disdain; often it is a way to tell things, which is better than grabbing a gun from a traditional moral point of view. *Whether or not there is an afterlife, it's what is done on this earth that counts for mankind. Not absolutely certain that I agree with this. The fact that we would be innately evil or good... Nah. Being brought up in a rhetoric of hatred helps a lot to become hateful. We all have to make choices at some point. OK, I'll come down from the pulpit now.

Actually read the story a while back and forgot to comment on the spot, then I had to reread it. As for the language issue, don't worry, you're doing fine, but yes, proofreaders do help. Even the very good native writers on this site have typos and problems in their texts. I don't know what feedback you got from people reading it on Nifty, because I don't see much eroticism in the subject matter; other people will. It's quite a disturbing story, but as you remind it in your post above, there are still people in our world selling themselves, or their body or soul for a hundred and fifty gold coins. Or less, for they don't have the persuasion Blake has in your story. Otherwise, it's true that the atmosphere and general mood are superbly laid out. Now, waiting for a nice story with princes in love defeating the forces of evil together, and making their realm a better place!

Another author trying to have his readers write the story for him... And through relentless taunting. If this works, you should get a patent on your method, Jack.

Should I try threats? Like kidnapping you and forcing you to eat snails and frog legs? And to learn by heart some Maurice Chevallier songs? Would it be effective in any manner? More than the puppy dog's eyes? More seriously, I repeat what was above, I think that in this group of friends, these traumatic events can lead to more emotional unraveling once all the action is dealt with, traitors are unmasked and terrorists sent to jail. JJ & the Boys is a bit far in my memory, but I'd like to find back the sense of community you created with all these lovable characters.

Agreed, CJ. As if human beings could live in environments where the temperature gets above 80 degrees on a regular basis without suffering permanent damge. Not realistic at all, I'll tell ya.

Hey, Ieshwar, welcome to the thread! I thought about it too, but since CJames has vowed not to use clich

Yes, there was quite a famous pool scene at the beginning of the story. Plus they skinny dip at the quarry, so what do you hormone-fuelled readers want? A pool party with skinny dipping and an orgy?

Your posting average is going to plummet! Keep being shy in Wyoming!

Not a holiday here. But it coincides with Pentecoast, the monday after which, until three years ago, was a official holiday. Now, it has become a "solaridity" day, a sort of nice forced fundraising to help the elderly; and a way to start cutting on the number of non-worked days, starting with suppressing the religious holidays. I don't see a bright future for Nov. 11th (1918 Armistice Commemoration), since there are almost no survivors of WWI left... And a government that thinks we are done being "lazy".

Sorry to hijack the thread for personal messages, Jon, but I just wanted to let Sharon know she's 13 posts away to be able to write whatever she wants instead of "Manic Poster" too.

Well, the endless PM harassment and the anonymous letters seem to have worked all right. There's still the liver problem that has to be dealt with, and the adoption issue, so though Brian and Aaron are back together, there are still bumps on the road ahead... And for the 64 years (at least) they vowed to share together.

I love the way the humour remains in spite of the dreadful events happening around the little crew of heroes. You might have to make it 14 to unravel so many complex going-ons. I have a feeling the last three - four chapters could have been expanded a bit, for a revelation was followed by some fast-paced action/ drama, and the fun little crew was less put into play. But it remains a brilliant piece of fiction. Please, don't kill any more of the boys. Pullleeaase? * does the puppy dog eyes trick*

You lucky people who are not bothered by grammar in school. If your 1st pronoun person is the subject, it's I. If it's the object, it's me. Hence "Jill was angry at Tom and me. So, Tom and I gave her a cold shoulder. Tom and I went to the restaurant all by ourselves. Now, Jill hates Tom and me." But I agree with all of the above on dialogues. I will leave improper grammar in dialogues if it helps towards characterization. Otherwise, in the narrative parts, I fix it.

I hope getting this off your chest will help you to overcome. Hugs and love.

I didn't read people's reactions in your thread the same way you do. Not leaving oneself consumed by hatred doesn't mean that you have to stand patiently that these conservative/ bigots/ whatever-you-deem-good-to-label-them-as' hearts change. I don't rejoice over anybody's death (plus I doubt dying of a heart attack at 73 is a sure sign of God's hand punishing the wicked), but standing up to them and having an in the face approach don't mean you let yourself being eaten by hatred. And trying to exist on a higher moral plane as those you disagree with is a noble ambition, but that leaves room for humor (I'm thinking of James' Teletubbies joke) and detachment. If in the end, once we die too, we may have made a few changes so the world is a better place FOR ALL, I think it will have been worth it. (Yeah, I was a boy scout and church-goer; it leaves some imprint ...)

This was somehow true of the scene with Carlos. Replace "son" with "coworker". I agree with Conner on both; these scenes ring very true and the changes Matt undergoes should lead him to become a nice assertive man. And please, Steve, have Jacob drive carefully, his reckless driving is a bit unnerving.

Hey, it looks like it's been edited a tad!

I enjoyed this story. The way the narrator is in love with Dustin and that he has to actually realize it will never work out (the hard way) rings true. As to the confrontation with the Elders, it is quite well described.

Could it be a dream? It certainly is a surprise since Adrien had not given any hint that he was into boys. Or is it Adrien's unknown twin brother? Or Julien wearing an Adrien's mask. We'll wait patiently for the answer Jack will certainly provide us in due time.

Would anybody in his right mind want to have a Misery pulled on him? (I love this phrase )

And blame it on California's public phones. Maybe Dex could also say: "I've done it. I decoded the data stick. No code can resist me... Guys? Ain't I the best?" "So, what's in it?" "Hey, you asked me to break the code! You didn't tell me to look what's on it! Wait a sec." In the background, I could hear some voices. Dex was quarrelling with someone. "...No, my laptop, you bastard!" Suddenly, he was back on the line. "Man, they stole my laptop, the datastick was with it!"

I'll take it you managed to see the hunk of the Poconos eventually.

Phew! Chris made it back to Lonesome Valley! I really thought the Piedmont's Sheriff Department would catch up with him. And Veronica's warth and Betty's ire are certainly more pleasant than being fed some lead directly through his body. I was pretty positive the pic wouldn't turn out OK, one more devious invention by CJ (see picture above). But with his bleeding ass, I hope they can nail the sheriff once and for all. What's the deal with him being a relative? More mystery yet. I noticed with interest the use of the verb "to tremble". And the little comment about California and DST. It's true a state that has a half hour time change is certainly more convenient. Nice chapter. The car didn't blow up, and impounded is better than torn to parts.