jfalkon

I think it's nice to be polite but sometimes it goes too far. I think it's a matter of common sense in most cases. Jokes are ment to be funny. If you affend someone with a joke there is no satisfaction or amusment to be had, so what's the point. It seems that the best jokes point out or exagerate the truth. For example we all know that hair color does not determine inteligence but most of us have met a "dumb blond" at some point in our lives. When we hear a blond joke that stupid person comes to mind. That is what makes it funny. When I was a little kid I had no idea about the blond stereotype. When someone told a blond joke I just gave that person a weird look. It simply did not make sense. All the blond people I knew were intelegent. My hair is a shade of blond but I am not bothered by those jokes. I am not insecure about my inteligence so I can laugh along. The situation is very different for someone who has some misgivings about their inteligence. To that person the jokes may be hurtfull. In today's society stereotype are not taken as seriosly as they used to be. Some of them are quickly being forgoten and the jokes that went with them no longer make sense. Others are still recognized but not truly believed. I think the gay stereotype is a good example. Most of the people I talk to know at least one gay guy who completely contradicts the image of the feminine man in the hot pink shirt. We understand that the stereotype is a poor represention of reality but its funny and sort of cute so it lives on in our minds. The gay men I know are nothing like their tv counterparts but they still watch the shows. When it comes to making fun of yourself, I think it can be fun. Laughing at your flaws or differences beats crying over them.

Its interesting how much faith is put in antidepresents. I had a doctor tell me that they are only effective something like 60% of the time. Its not really impressive. The rate improves when there is other therapy used with them but its still not great. That's without mentioning that they can actually make depression worse for some people. Anxiety is something I can relate to well. The idea of going to someone's office on some official business can throw my heart rythem off. Meeting people is not much fun either. Almost anything social bothers me. One thing I've noticed is that at least for me anxiety is like the dark side of excitement. They are simmilar feelings in that they both trigger an adrenaline rush. There is often a component of fear in both. For example, when you are waiting to get on a roller coaster your heart might be pounding. You may be nervous but it feels good. On the other hand, if you are on your way to the principal's office the nervouse feeling can be exquisite torture. It seems like we classify things that make us nervous as either good or bad. The good ones cause excitement. The bad ones cause anxiety. At least that is how I see it. I just wish I could figure out a way to make the bad stimuli seem good.

Interesting comments.... I guess everyone has a slightly different definition of what ghosts are. I usualy think of the term ghost as a catch all for things that don't make much sense. For example, the door bell in my home rings by itself with no aparent cause. No one wants to take it apart and check what is wrong with it. We joke that it must be ghosts. I have had a few truly strange experiences and I call them ghost stories. I can speculate as to what the cause was but sometimes its just fun to tell the stories. One of the freakier things happend to me at school. I was taking a semseter of hard classes. The worst was a mathematical physics with programing class. There were no prerequisits listed and I was advised to sign up so I did. I didn't own or have any experience with the software so I was stuck using the schools computers usualy into the early hours of the morning. The computers were in a small closet of a room in the back of a lab. (One of the proffessors left a key for us in a secret location.) One night I was in the computer coset with a cup of coffee, as usual. I had not bothered to turn on the light in the lab. I knew the lay out by then. At about 4:30 in the morning I decided to do out for a break. I left my well lit closet and closed the door behind me. Then I turned arround to look at the dark lab. I imediately saw three balls of light flying around the room. It looked like they were somehow interacting with each other. I stood and stared. At first I though something was wrong with the lights but the balls were not following the light fixtures. Then I thought that maybe someone was outside by the window with a flashligh but no one was there. Then one by one the lights disapeared. It was probably my tired eyes playing tricks on me but you never know. It is rumored that the lab was once used for cadaver disection. At the time when this happend I didn't care if they were ghosts, halucinations, or something else. I was to concerned about my grades. Later that week I realized that it made a good story so I have been telling it ever since.

Sooner or later I wind up asking people I know if they believe in ghosts usualy with interesting results. I have seen some weird things in my life but don't know what to make of them. Does anyone have any opinions on the subject?...or good camp fire stories?

Happy Birthday!

I am a pesimist too. On the whole it has served me well. If some situation turns out badly, I am at least mentaly prepared. It still does not stop me from complaining though. I don't know how people who expect the best all the time do not go crazy from the disapointment. Maybe some one can explain that. I think that seeing the glass as half empty can be a good thing. It can be a motivating force. If you are happy with there being something in the glass you never try to get it completely full. Pesimism like anything else can be useful. It can even be funny. If you watch a comedian some time you will notice that many of them describe their lives as pathetic and even tragic but they can make you laugh.

I have to admit that attachment is a part of life, but it can realy make you tired. My family had many pets. I was attached to them all. As they died off over the years I really got a differrnt perspective on the whole experience. Since I was 10 my parents and I buried 12 birds, 3 dogs, and 1 turtle. A few years ago my grandmother died also. To me being attached to someone means taking care of them when they are sick and watching them decline in the end. Its like a story that will have an inevitable sad ending. I don't cry at funerals or over the news that somone died anymore. I learned early on that you get nothing in return for your tears. Some people feel better when they cry. For me it just makes the pain worse. I can honestly say that it was worth living with the loss. I had many good times with my garndmother and all my pets. I would not trade that for anything. At the same time I am tierd of always watching some poor creature die. For that reason I am not getting any more pets. I also tend to keep my distance when it comes to human relationships. I don't have the energy for more drama. It may sound strange but I feel like I'm gettimg too old for this. For those of you who have lost loved ones, I'm truly sorry. I can't know exactly how you feel because every relationship is different and so is every loss but I do know it hurst.

Last I heard she was suposedly having a nervouse breakdown. The symptoms were something to the effect of constant crying, trouble sleeping, and loss of apetite. The loss of apetite just might have something to do with the green ham they serve prisoners. The other two sound like a tantrum. She could have at least been creative enough to fake a real illness. On the serious side, her case if setting a terrible example. She could have killed someone and for that she is only grounded for a few weeks. It makes her behavior sound excusable. The fact that she is famous automaticaly makes her an example and a role model to some kids. If she wants to selfdestruct that's her sad choice. I just hope she does it a safe distance from me.

It seems like everyone agrees that judging people by their looks is not too smart. I agree too but when you are in a croud of people the people you notice are the ones who look unusual or unusualy good. Once a person has your attention you are more likely to talk to him. If you never noticed a person in the first place there is no way you can have a relationship with them. I think there is nothing wrong with noticing a person's apearance or complementing him on it. If he turns out to be you good friend or you start dating later there is nothing wrong with that either. If you chooses to hang around a bunch of nasty people because of their good looks, then there is a problem. I understand not wanting to sleep with someone revolting but I wonder what it is that makes a person revolting. The things that come to my mind are mostly odors and other signs of poor hygene. Sometimes sighns of poor health/fitness can be unatractive as well. If you are repelled by the smell of old sweat and athleet's foot that's probably a good thing. Who wants to catch something? Its better to avoid people who don't take even reasonably good care of themselves.

I think I wasn't realy expressing myself well in my last post. I think its great that parents are willing to take an intrest in whatever their children are doing. I was very happy when ever my parents played with me when I was little. I am thankful for that. The people I have a problem with are the parents who let their children decide how they will behave, dress, etc. outide of play-time/familly-time. For example, just because your kid thinks Barney is the greatest show on TV does not mean you should wear a Barney tshirt to work. There are some people who go to extreams trying to be "cool" parents. They are so bussy being "cool" that their kids never get to know them. To me that is sad.

I agree, maturity is over rated. When I say maturity I meen that state where your inhibitions over run your personality. There are many things in life that one can enjoy. I think it makes no sense to deprive a person of a good time simply because someone put an age limit on it. If you want to play with your lego blocks when you are thirty or fourty I see nothing wrong with that. Avoiding activities you like on account of your age can only serve to limit your imagination and make you unhappy. It is alright for a person's tastes to change over time as long as it is for the right reasons. When people say "Grow up!" it is usualy in a moment of frustration. The person is usualy saying it in mid-tantrum with no concern for what it means to grow up. They could just as well have said "Go to hell." Don't read too much into it. On the other hand, if someone is trying to act like a child to win the aproval of a child that person is asking for trouble. In the first place that person is being dishonest by acting like someone else. Secondly, you can not win someone's respect by caving in everytime they make a demand. It is like giving into peer presure except it is presure from your children and not your peers. That is not the same as being youthful.

I was thinking about some English Lit. classes I had taken. Thanks to them I knew what women wrote about, what men wrote about, what black people wrote about, what white people wrote about...The list went on and on. I began to wonder if there was any demographic group they had omitted. Then I realized I did not know what gay people write about. I went on the internet and found this site. Gay people write about some pretty cool things!

About the chocolate thing, I don't know if its a growing trend. I can't stand it for three reasons. 1. I ate so much of it as a little kid that I got burned out on it. 2. It has a funny sour aftertaste. 3. It frequently triggers conversations about menstural anomolies....too much info, damn it! I confess, I am planning to go to our local gay paraed after Sunday mass a few weeks from now. My life is full of contradictions. Its interesting that way.

People find whatever they are looking for in TV shows movies etc. Most people are looking for something they can relate to in characters. Aparently some people are looking for something to be offended by. Did anyone watch He Man back in the 80's? I heard some people saying he was gay. I watched that show as a kid but it never occured to me that he was gay even many years later. As a kid I just wanted to be like him. What could be better than going outside one stormy day, getting struck by lightning, and instead of having your brain fried getting super-human powers?

This song is one of my favorites. The lyrics are pretty simple but I like the way they sound when you read or sing them. They also reflect some sentiments that usualy don't make it into songs. artist: Three Days Grace Lyrics song: Pain Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all You're sick of feeling numb You're not the only one I'll take you by the hand And I'll show you a world that you can understand This life is filled with hurt When happiness doesn't work Trust me and take my hand When the lights go out you will understand Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Anger and agony Are better than misery Trust me I've got a plan When the lights go off you will understand Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing Rather feel pain I know (I know I know I know I know) That you're wounded You know (You know you know you know you know) That I'm here to save you You know (You know you know you know you know) I'm always here for you I know (I know I know I know I know) That you'll thank me later Pain, without love Pain, can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Rather feel pain than nothing at all Rather feel pain It doesn't reflect anything about me. I don't enjoy pain. If anything I'm on the sadistic side.

I thought the idea of catching farts under the bed covers was so that you could pull them over your unsuspecting partner's head. My aunt used to do this to her husband. She thought it was funny. As for tolerating one's own odors, I never learned to like fart smells (mine or anyone else's). I make a point to breath with my mouth open and my nose pinched shut when I am in a smelly bathroom. Certain smells are not ment to be pleasant. I think that is probably to keep us from stepping in piles and puddels.

I didn't see the show so I may be missing part of the story here but I'm not convinced of the older brother theory. The reason is that the oldest kid in the family has a lot more presure put on him to set an example, please parents, be responsable, etc. I remember reading somewhere that this afects their behavior considerably. The oldest child, at least in thoery, would be more concerned with disapointing people and less likely to admit to anything that others might find upsetting. The second youngest would be more likely to misbehave and less likely to care what anyone thinks. If this is realy the case younger brothers may just be more honest. Of course that's theory and speculation too.

One thing I think everyone is neglecting is that the older people on this site are quite inteligent too. I agrea that this site atracts a group of people who are interested in learning, reading, and writing. So generaly, we probably have more people who are actualy engaged in some kind of thinking here. People who don't want to think are much happier at the shoping mall or infront of the TV. (By the way, there are still a few informative chanels left on the air like the Discovey network.) I have my doubts about the younger generation. I was still at school a few years ago and even there I found plenty of morrons arround me. My mother works with some people in their early twenties. Most of them need a calculator to figure out what 10% of $100 is. They lack both education and common sense. Worst of all, many of them refuse to think. They seem to regard computers and calculators as substitutes for their brains. Once they are cured of this delusion they start thinking on thier own. Another point about education and inteligence has to do with memory. If a young child can recite all the names of the American presidents in order every one is impressed. Sometimes the child even gets on TV. While I find this sort of performance entertaining, it is not as intelectualy demanding as it seems. It requires memmory and nothing more. I think creativity and problem solving skills are more impressive. Many kids get through school almost entierly on their memmory these days. They memorize dates of historical events, scientific laws, capitals of countries, etc. and everything is fine ...at least until they get to math class.

Ok I confess, I did something very stupid while turing YellowStone park. We were all walking on a board walk. The guide was droning on about something. I noticed a sign that said "Stay on the path". I wondered why. There was grass growing all arround. I asked my mother why they did not want people to step on the grass. She told me it was seaweed not grass. I didn't believe her and steped off the path. The next thing I knew I was waist deep in mud. Everyone stared at me on the long walk back to the car. There was also the time I looked into a bathroom that I knew was ocupied just because I knew I was not suposed to. I got a great view of a relatives harry buns. Aaaaah! :wacko: That was back in the 80's. I'm a little smarter now.

It is anoying that these law suits happen and the ruling are often quite unfair. I have not watched the movie but I am sure it contains nothing more disturbing than what goes on in sex ed. I was taught about all kinds of sexual practices by a cathlic nun when I was in 7th grade! Where the hell is my million dolars?

I just wanted to clear up the issue about gay virgins. I talked to someone from my local blood bank (red cross in Pasadena, Ca) today and they told me that if you are a virgin your sexual orientation does not matter. They suspect that whoever answered the email was scared of gay people.

I think I'm a little nuts too because I have the same sort of reaction. I look in the mirror and wonder why I look this way. Some times it catches me off gaurd and freaks me out for a second or two.

Hi, I find your email exchange with the blood bank interesting. I think who ever answered your question was confused. The questions you are asked before the donation never mention sexual orientation so I do not see how they would care or know if someone was a gay virgin. I have been giving blood for some time and the question never came up. They only cared about possible exposures to infections (sexual or other). I have to agree that the list of questions needs to be updated frequently to ensure safty. The rate of new infections among gay men is not much higher than among straight people these days. I think the concern may be about people who were infected years ago when gay men were more likely to get infected. Sadly many of the people infected then have died or are very ill. They pose no threat to the blood suply. It comes down to someone looking up the numbers and adjusting the questions. By the way, thanks for giving blood! You have more guts than most people. between the needles and the machine many people chicken out.