...and experience!
Reding the chapter and comments again...and cannot stop thinking - Daniel is one lucky bastard! 😁
If you strip everything down, Daniel is incredibly lucky. He has something most people in stories like this don’t - a network that doesn’t abandon him. Nora stays. Alec stays (in his own flawed way). Even figures like Max and his brother orbit him with a kind of reluctant loyalty. That’s rare. In many narratives, a character who spirals the way Daniel does would be socially “cleansed” by the plot - isolated, punished, cut off.
But here’s the twist - that luck almost becomes part of the tragedy, because Daniel doesn’t experience it as luck. He’s surrounded by people who are willing to love him as he is becoming, not just as he was - but he’s still chasing something that exists outside that circle. What he tasted with Malik isn’t just desire or connection; it’s something closer to a myth of transformation. And once someone internalizes that kind of experience, ordinary (even deep, real) love can start to feel… insufficient.
So, externally, he’s a “lucky bastard.” ...internally, though, he’s in a much harsher position. He has love but can’t fully receive it; he is seen but doesn’t feel recognized in the way he now craves, and he is supported but still orbits an absence! His biggest enemy isn’t just himself - it’s the standard he now measures reality against. And that standard was created in a moment that can’t be repeated, which makes his situation almost cruel in a quiet way - he’s not deprived...he’s misaligned with what he already has. So, instead of seeing one lucky person, we see what happens to a person who already has enough - but no longer feels like it is?