Jack Poignet

The gym felt suffocating, the air hot and heavy against Lucas’s wet skin. The towel clung to his hips precariously, the corners barely tucked in as he sprinted out of the showers. He didn’t notice the ripple of whispers that followed his hurried steps. All he could see was Ethan walking away, his slim frame slipping effortlessly through the crowded gym floor. The clang of weights and low murmur of voices were dull in Lucas’s ears, drowned out by the pounding of his heart and the surge of despera

@VBlew In my short time as a writer on here, I‘ve realized that comments are used by the reader to reflect on the story and speculate about what will happen. Unfortunately I tend to actually answer these questions, which obviously takes away the joy of reading the next chapters. In case of this story, it is pretty clear what will happen, after all, it‘s based on chapter 3 of Shadow‘s Reach (Halloween Noir) and @Danners comments on „hungry bottoms“ and a possible vampiric nature. However, while writing chapter 3 of this story, I realized that I could include a meta level to this story. Before I spoiler too much here, let‘s just say I‘m happy that you picked up on the fact that there might be something more going on here… I promise, things will come to a close in the next chapter (I‘m waiting for the shitstorm I deserve for that sentence then )

OK, no comments so far, so I‘ll just stick to my planned story line. The next and probably final chapter is now written It just needs to be refined. Lucas will find out what Ethan‘s really up to… that animal needs to be caged!

Thanks a lot. Been there, done that …. Well, not so much the lifting and getting bigger thing but at least I‘ve been observing. I knew it was good for something. Here‘s to the art of writing 🤣

The Forge pulsed with a primal energy. The clang of weights created a savage rhythm, in sync with the bass from the loudspeakers. The air was thick with the tang of iron and sweat, clinging to the skin like a lover’s embrace. Lucas strode through the entrance, his movements fluid yet powerful, a predator in his natural habitat. His tank top was plastered to his torso, every muscle exaggerated under the harsh gym lights. Veins snaked across his forearms, prominent like rivers carving through

After spending a week in New Orleans, I’m sitting at the airport right now, waiting to go home … While here, I took the time to have a look at Union Passenger Terminal and it’s surroundings. The access street/loop and the carpark had brand new tarmac, so that was good. the two highrises more or less in front of the station still had obvious Hurrican damage and it didn’t look like anyone was in a hurry to fix them … the CBD looked better than I remembered from way back when I was last here, but all in all, especially considering Alex‘ mental state, I wouldn‘t change much of the description if I rewrote/edited this chapter now.

Lucas woke up with a foggy mind and a strange heaviness in his limbs. He blinked against the harsh sunlight filtering through his bedroom window, stretching to get the soreness out of his body. But this wasn’t his usual post-leg-day ache. His muscles seemed weak, powered out, empty. His stomach ached. Groaning, he pushed himself out of bed, still a little dazed. What happened last night? He remembered the gym, the usual lifting routine, and—what else? Ethan’s smile flashed in his mind. The

Inside the room, there was a small table in the corner and a chair in front of it. A normal office setup. There were also instruments to measure body fat content, scales, a tape to measure chest, biceps, and so on… The main part of the room was actually set up for massage therapy, with a large and comfy looking massage table, a few plants, relaxing beach pictures on the wall and even a few strategically placed candles. Cosy. Ethan turned to Lucas. “This doesn‘t leave this room. You mustn‘t

The Forge. Lucas’ second home, and his favorite place in the world, was packed tonight, prime time for the regulars. Heavy bass music, syncopated with the crashes of clanging metal, powered the guys through their workouts. The stench of sweat and testosterone filled the air. Lucas gripped the barbell, veins popping as he pulled through the deadlifts, sweat glistening on his shoulder and leaving dark stains on the shirt down his broad back. He could feel eyes on him, judging, admiring glance

Lucas is serious about Lifting. However, he notices some strange things are going on at his gym. Guys show unnatural gains and there‘s a group of twinks acting rather suspiciously. Soon, the twinks make Lucas an offer he can‘t refuse… This story is based on a reader’s comment on chapter 3 of my „Shadow‘s Reach (Halloween Noir)“ story, where he thought about „hungry bottoms“ and if the action in my story could possibly be vampiric in nature. It wasn’t, but it got me thinking … So that‘s what this story is about. The first 5 chapters used to be a self-contained short story that I now have slightly revised.

Apologies if I caused any confusion by renaming the story. The originally planned „short story“ would have played solely around Halloween, the novel now will take a few days longer to play out, so the old name would have been misleading… and some people just don’t like reading „seasonal“ stories 🤷‍♂️

The other factions should be given a chance to look at Jacques and Alex. That is, if Jacques accepts his heritage (of course he does). What exactly are their powers? Do the factions deem them dangerous or powerful? Do they have plans with them for themselves? Of course, Jacques and Alex first need to learn a lot about magic and their powers… And no one can tell Jacques what he needs to do to get his new hand. But, despite being „the typical football jock“ he‘s actually a very clever guy … (and the author in real life has the equivalent of a masters degree in physics, which for many people sounds like magic )

I'll be in NOLA the coming week, so I won't be able to spend much time writing. The next chapter might take me more than a week to publish. Still, please leave lots of comments, I really would like to see what works for you and what doesn't work.

Jacques didn’t know what he should tell his friends. It was all too unbelievable, and he was too unsure of what had really happened. Alex, Solomon knocking him out somehow, the transformation, the legacy and his inheritance… no, he better keep quiet about it. The low hum of chatter swirled around him like a comforting blanket, when he ducked into the dim bar their message showed. The rhythmic thump of bass and the clatter of glasses filled the air as his eyes adjusted to the low lights refl

Great story, the writing flows easily. Definitely worth a read and a topic to think about, not just during times of a pandemic.

Great start, but there‘s several POV changes here („he“ suddenly becoming „I“) that irritated me. Should be easily fixable (unless it‘s intentional, but I don’t see that yet) . I‘ll keep reading.

Yes, I've read that "This is a short story, part of a flash fiction collection inspired by images or prompts." But I struggle to see this as a story. For me, it's a story outline with lots of interesting ideas and angles to explore. I don't think less than 10.000 words would do all the ideas in this story justice. Why not pick out a specific scene or image from the outline and write a scene or short story about that? Better yet, write the full story. I'd like to read it.

Another transformation is possible (the obvious reconnection of the hand) but there’s some issues that Jacques needs to resolve first if he wants to have a chance at that. If I had written the originally planned short story, then this chapter would have been filled with (kinky) sex, the hand would have been attached and now they‘d live happily ever after. But life mostly ain‘t a short story and things don‘t always go the way they‘re planned …

Thanks Danners. I must admit I was struggling with this chapter as I think the build up wasn‘t great and it was too long for what it is. But if I had added dialog, then they obviously wouldn‘t have trained hard enough and a much shorter chapter would have also not been satisfactory. Just reflecting on your reflections, I know now what I could and should have added… You didn‘t write it explicitly, but it‘s something about their connection and what they could have learned about it. Please keep commenting

The corridor to the gym stretched long. Dimly lit portraits lined the walls, their eyes following them with a haunting curiosity. Alex trailed slightly behind Solomon and Jacques, struggling under the unfamiliar weight of his grotesque body. His legs felt clumsy and leaden, each step weighted by an excess mass that hadn’t yet found its form. The air in the corridor was thick with old wood and polish, its scent making it hard to breathe. Alex’s skin prickled faintly with the lingering charge of l

I have no idea what it takes to run a liquor store, but the way it's described here is utterly believable. And this sense of "realness" makes the chills of this story so much more effective... Great read!

I only give this story four stars, because I think it deserves more attention. Setup and location are good and the idea is solid. However, the side story with the missing campers doesn't really contribute anything emotionally and the way Rowan and Ethan talk seems a bit off for teenagers. All in all, an enjoyable read and I hope this story gets extended.

I'm seriously contemplating if I shouldn't work on/publish the prequel first (now that I have decided not to do this story as a short story but as a whole novel). But I don't want to leave you hanging in here .... What do you think? At least part 1 of the info dump is done, part 2 will explain their magical abilities and "the hand" and what happened to Lucien in the end. It's coming up in a few chapters. And then the fun begins... although I actually wouldn't call it "fun" Was this chapter too much of an info dump or unnecessary?

Jacques woke to the warmth of sunlight streaming through a gap between the heavy curtains. It tickled his nose. His body ached from the strain of the previous night and sleeping on the couch, but for a moment, the world felt peaceful. The old house was quiet, except for the faint hum of the city outside, which added to the comforting stillness around him. He blinked groggily and squinted against the brightness. Turning to the bed, he expected to see Alex, but there was just the crumpled hea

You are right. My normal style are shorter chapters (on average 1000 words), mostly self-contained. They end a lot like chapter 1 or 3, which doesn't offer the reader much incentive to continue (like chapter 1) unless there's at least some more dangling bits (chapter 3). After I published chapter 1, two people gave story recommendations and I saw there was a checkbox for cliffhangers which was not ticked, so I cut the original chapter 2 in half and added more content to the beginning of chapter 3 (which I'm quite happy with now). You'll see that chapter 3 ends with the main action pretty much finished and chapter 4 also doesn't really have a cliffhanger either. I'm seriously struggling to add a light one to chapter 5... I certainly understand your concern about "too many" cliffhangers, but I think you don't need to worry.