Jack Poignet

I'll be in NOLA the coming week, so I won't be able to spend much time writing. The next chapter might take me more than a week to publish. Still, please leave lots of comments, I really would like to see what works for you and what doesn't work.

Jacques didn’t know what he should tell his friends. It was all too unbelievable, and he was too unsure of what had really happened. Alex, Solomon knocking him out somehow, the transformation, the legacy and his inheritance… no, he better keep quiet about it. The low hum of chatter swirled around him like a comforting blanket, when he ducked into the dim bar their message showed. The rhythmic thump of bass and the clatter of glasses filled the air as his eyes adjusted to the low lights refl

Great story, the writing flows easily. Definitely worth a read and a topic to think about, not just during times of a pandemic.

Great start, but there‘s several POV changes here („he“ suddenly becoming „I“) that irritated me. Should be easily fixable (unless it‘s intentional, but I don’t see that yet) . I‘ll keep reading.

Yes, I've read that "This is a short story, part of a flash fiction collection inspired by images or prompts." But I struggle to see this as a story. For me, it's a story outline with lots of interesting ideas and angles to explore. I don't think less than 10.000 words would do all the ideas in this story justice. Why not pick out a specific scene or image from the outline and write a scene or short story about that? Better yet, write the full story. I'd like to read it.

Another transformation is possible (the obvious reconnection of the hand) but there’s some issues that Jacques needs to resolve first if he wants to have a chance at that. If I had written the originally planned short story, then this chapter would have been filled with (kinky) sex, the hand would have been attached and now they‘d live happily ever after. But life mostly ain‘t a short story and things don‘t always go the way they‘re planned …

Thanks Danners. I must admit I was struggling with this chapter as I think the build up wasn‘t great and it was too long for what it is. But if I had added dialog, then they obviously wouldn‘t have trained hard enough and a much shorter chapter would have also not been satisfactory. Just reflecting on your reflections, I know now what I could and should have added… You didn‘t write it explicitly, but it‘s something about their connection and what they could have learned about it. Please keep commenting

The corridor to the gym stretched long. Dimly lit portraits lined the walls, their eyes following them with a haunting curiosity. Alex trailed slightly behind Solomon and Jacques, struggling under the unfamiliar weight of his grotesque body. His legs felt clumsy and leaden, each step weighted by an excess mass that hadn’t yet found its form. The air in the corridor was thick with old wood and polish, its scent making it hard to breathe. Alex’s skin prickled faintly with the lingering charge of l

I have no idea what it takes to run a liquor store, but the way it's described here is utterly believable. And this sense of "realness" makes the chills of this story so much more effective... Great read!

I only give this story four stars, because I think it deserves more attention. Setup and location are good and the idea is solid. However, the side story with the missing campers doesn't really contribute anything emotionally and the way Rowan and Ethan talk seems a bit off for teenagers. All in all, an enjoyable read and I hope this story gets extended.

I'm seriously contemplating if I shouldn't work on/publish the prequel first (now that I have decided not to do this story as a short story but as a whole novel). But I don't want to leave you hanging in here .... What do you think? At least part 1 of the info dump is done, part 2 will explain their magical abilities and "the hand" and what happened to Lucien in the end. It's coming up in a few chapters. And then the fun begins... although I actually wouldn't call it "fun" Was this chapter too much of an info dump or unnecessary?

Jacques woke to the warmth of sunlight streaming through a gap between the heavy curtains. It tickled his nose. His body ached from the strain of the previous night and sleeping on the couch, but for a moment, the world felt peaceful. The old house was quiet, except for the faint hum of the city outside, which added to the comforting stillness around him. He blinked groggily and squinted against the brightness. Turning to the bed, he expected to see Alex, but there was just the crumpled hea

You are right. My normal style are shorter chapters (on average 1000 words), mostly self-contained. They end a lot like chapter 1 or 3, which doesn't offer the reader much incentive to continue (like chapter 1) unless there's at least some more dangling bits (chapter 3). After I published chapter 1, two people gave story recommendations and I saw there was a checkbox for cliffhangers which was not ticked, so I cut the original chapter 2 in half and added more content to the beginning of chapter 3 (which I'm quite happy with now). You'll see that chapter 3 ends with the main action pretty much finished and chapter 4 also doesn't really have a cliffhanger either. I'm seriously struggling to add a light one to chapter 5... I certainly understand your concern about "too many" cliffhangers, but I think you don't need to worry.

Just a little heads up. In a few weeks, Mid-November, I'll accompany my partner to a conference ... which just happens to be in New Orleans (Isn't it amazing what coincidences there are in life ). My current plans include lots of sightseeing (even so I've been to New Orleans before when I was 19 .... many moons ago) and sightseeing might become part of the story (Alex and Jacques are both tourists after all). I promise to be most diligent in my research up and down Bourbon street! The prequel has lots of New Orleans history in it (It's actually an amazing historic treasure and woefully underrated), so sightseeing in modern day New Orleans might be a good idea. Let's hope I don't stall the story too much til then.

So, you expected to see the two gorgeous, well built (just wait a bit), probably rich guys, who can do everything absolutely effortlessly on the first try (I think that's called a "Mary Sue" when it's a female hero) just to kiss and live happily ever after? No sir, this ain't written by Disney+. I must admit, I never actually thought much about what happens to Alex (or Solomon for that matter) after the short story. Hmmm .... maybe you could just guess what happens next? You're rather good at it and I have a suspicion that you might guess almost exactly right... (*polite cough) No, seriously, I know the rough shape of the story. I have a whole (unfinished) prequel to draw from and the main point/a good idea of the sequel. This chapter, transitory as it seems, has introduced the idea that there are other factions, so there will be some conflict. There's Jacques's friends who might play a role and then there's the issue with... the hand. Solomon/Noir Foundation will also have their say in the story. Next chapter will include a bit of the interesting back story (aka an info dump). I'm currently cleaning it up, but I'm also trying to force something slightly exciting into it... We'll see. I'll probably have to split it into separate chapters as there's just too many topics to address.

Hello Everyone. This should have been the last chapter of the short story. Obviously it isn't. I enjoyed your comments and our small exchanges on here too much, so I'll just do the novel instead. I've adapted the description of the story accordingly.

Beside Solomon, Jacques began to stir again. After orienting himself, he turned to Solomon, his mind reeling with questions. But before he could speak, Solomon raised a hand to silence him, his expression grave. “Do not dwell on what you have witnessed,” Solomon said, his voice low and solemn. “There are forces at work here that you cannot begin to comprehend… yet. Trust in your feelings; all will become clear soon.” Leaving their cover, they moved over to the unconscious form of Alex’

@evlfox I didn't want to spell it out, as that would have been a totally different kind of story, but yes, that's exactly what I had in mind. And I just might have to steal @Danners "hungry bottom" comment and turn it into a separate story 😂

@Danners I always worry that I setup things too complicated, but you’re pretty spot on. Except that Lucien was not a ghost… but that’ll be resolved in the next chapter. The hand will still be “missing” after the next chapter, but it should be pretty obvious where it needs to end up. The original idea of this short story was pure, kinky sex, so I leave it to your excellent imagination what Jacques and Alex originally would have had to do to resolve that issue

Jacques couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so alive. The night had started like any other Halloween — music filling the air, the French Quarter awash with lights and color. He’d come here expecting to have some fun, sure, but nothing out of the ordinary. Now, though, as he clutched his drink and let the pulse of the crowd carry him, he realized this night was different. It was better than good — it was electric. The music pulsed through the air like a heartbeat, syncing with his own,

@VBlew and @Danners Of course, an author must meet some of their reader's expectations and I'll do just that. However, fair warning, if this story truly qualifies as a horror story, then it's gonna be because of the next chapter. Let's just say I struggled with writing it. Shameless plug: You can find solid beta versions of the coming chapter on my Patreon page which I totally had to set up now. The chapters are cut differently there (more, but shorter), however, the content is the same. Of course, you can just wait until I post the final version on here in a few days. I need to add lots more content (behind the scenes research, character sheets, thoughts on the stories etc.) to Patreon to make it worth the money.

Alex woke up in the late afternoon, sunlight streaming through the curtains of his room at Maison Noir. The warm glow bathed the room in a golden hue and reached deep into his soul. For the first time in as long as he could remember, nothing hurt. He lay there for a moment, savoring the unfamiliar sense of well-being. The constant fatigue had lifted, replaced by a strange sense of calm and strength. He closed his eyes and smiled, remembering the ecstasy of last night’s encounter, the magical pre

Thanks for the encouragement! These first reactions actually make me eager to sit down and take up work on the prequel again... (Which will answer the question where that hand came from). Romantic undercurrent? For a second there I thought Chapter 2 already made it past the moderation queue without me noticing ... but no, you'll have to wait until later (today?) for the romance.

Thanks. I was worried that it might be too obvious that English is a foreign language for me, but it seems that it’s acceptable. To be honest, the hardest part is to simplify my words enough to achieve a good flow. Should I continue this story beyond the promised “short story” it will become obvious that there’s a scientist lurking in the shadows behind this keyboard As for Alex: Is NOLA ever a safe place?

Thanks a lot. Finding an entry point to a story seems to be one of the trickiest parts for me. I plan on publishing a new chapter once a week, but now that I see that people are actually reading the story I have the urge to add more ... oh well, I'll see if I stick to the three or four chapter "short story" plan or write the whole novel down. It really only depends on wrapping things up in the last chapter or not ...