LeeSA

I had a science teacher once. Brilliant man could talk for hours about all things biology chemistry related in ways that enraptured and encouraged passion in others as you could see and feel his passion. There was nothing, it seemed, he didnt know or was not willing to share. One of my favourite teachers. That being said the guy parked his car sideways, buttoned his shirt wrong and would often pick up salt instead of sugar and put it in his coffee. It is not uncommon for people to have different levels of intellegence in different areas. Lyn has spent his life hiding from emotions he has not learned or developed any/much skill it was easier for him not too. Just sayin

Nope

Of course it was an ugly kiss, it was an ugly situation to be in in the first place. Brad reduced Lyns feelings to a side show to get laid. Nice.... not. Lyn is on the back foot in all his interactions with anyone male, female, friend or not because he is hiding who he is, not just his sexuality. How could the underlying self hatred in his own situation/behaviour not make him puke. It does show what happens or what can happen when he lets his guard down and I think will reinforce his control or need for control. He is sooo not prepared in college to deal with anything emotional. As for his treatment of Alexander, I think he was behaving from a defensible position of his own bad behaviour and lashed out. He could have said no to Brad, Alexander knows this. I wonder if Alexanders cold apprach to Lyn while in school was on some level a subconsious understanding that Lyn is emotionally stunted. Wondering @Laura S. Fox will we get any memory chapters for the intervening 8 years ? I hope so.

I dont see him as he most deeply thinking and sensitive person bar his own feelings so maybe if he was again in a lose it all again situation he could "offer"..... you can almost picture the situation afrer Brad made such a statement or offer, whatever the precipitator. Luke looking at Brad, incredulous, hurt and angry. Lyn, mouth open, brain operating like only Lyns can and Alexs hand curling into a fist with a face of fury.

Yep I think Bella is looking for source outside ie Lyn and Alex to "fix" Brad so he is perfectly presentable and hasnt considered Luke at all. She should.

It would be an interesting moment to see if Lyn can outgrow his long held feelings but I am not sure that Luke would like that at all...... and that scenario would blow up in Bellas face and Brads too.

That is so true and mixed with hiss blessed delusional thinking .... seem to have lost my little pic for my head exploding.

Guess if we expected the three of them to just open their bloody mouths and be truthful the story would end rather quickly I have spent the afternoon thinking that Lyn is just a coward with no bloody back bone. Of course then I feel bad and I dont want the story to end. Then @Cane23 I read this and just feel more sad and sorry for Lyn and Alex and nk not Brad. But good god, I wish Lyn would grow a pair.

I am surprised that Lyn actually admitted to himself that he was the subject of a pissing contest, even if he tries to bury it in waffle later he saw it for what it was at the time. That is a step forward in a way for Lyn. He is well aware of Alexanders feelings and Brads too on some level but is not emotionally ready to go there. Deluding himself is his go to its easier emotionally. Bella has no good intention whatsoever, if Brad has told her, and as it seems Luke aswell, as much about Lyn and Alexander as it appears, she will want to push Lyn out of Brads life with some finality. She may not know the full extent of Brads feelings towards Lyn but she wont like that Lyn while absent for 8 years is still very important to Brad and she will want to be front and center. Have the perfect life on show for all to see. The fact that Lyn has likened Bella to his mother also shows some awareness of emotional undercurrents. Perhaps Brad is in way over his head with Luke and Bella and doesnt know how to fix the situation hence bringing the three back together. As for suggesting swimming again, really. Simple way to put Lyn in a vulnerable situation yet again. Brad just didnt factor in Alex. There is no way that Alex will let Lyn get to far away, he stopped performing at the cocktail party when Lyn was no longer watching him. 🙂

It is funny when you go back and re read something. You know more about their behaviours so you read it different. I was pretty sure Lyns dad was not mentioned but reading chapter 8 again I found it struck different. With your comment @Cane23 about aristocracy stuck in my head. I think because I was looking more closely at Lyns mother, you can yes, see part of the reason why Lyn is the way he is, the guilt inflicted on him by his mother and how he chose to deal with that or rather didnt/couldnt as he was a child. It would not surprise me if going along in the story we find that Lyns mothers life takes a darker turn as she is forced from a distance to watch the son she blames for her lack of ongoing entitlement rise beyond her. Her guilt only serving to further enforce Lyns apparent huge lack of insight. Lyn makes a little more sense to me I guess as the inferred guilt in his aparent existance was the cause of his mothers perceived ruination. As such am leaning away from aristocracy and into her being a once mistress to someone from Alex's part of the world. As a kid bought up in that type of environemnt Lyn was always going to struggle working out what was/is real. There was also a comment made by Alex earlier on after the Alex, Alexander name thing in the library with Brad that sits different. Alex said "Im not people, not to you" which made me think he was trying to give Lyn back his proper name and that perhaps he was more aware of Lyns beginnings for a very long time.

I agree that in that moment that Lyn needed comfort and that Alex did not back the verbal up with the physical but I also think that he was trying to learn observe and manage Brads behaviour. And as was the case at the time work out his feelings for Lyn European aristocracy interesting, I need to go back and re read all of it but I cant remember Lyn talking about his dad, you may be right maybe some sort of financial disgrace? Potentially that Alex is/was aware off, while immature in his reactions in this chapter he feels very protective of Lyn. Hmm so many possibilities.

I dont know about you but at 18 I though I was invincible but my older brain says yep they should have.

I have read this a couple of times now and given it a lot of though and I cant get past the Lyns thought of "being the change he wants to see" Yes it is framed as he is talking about interactions with his mum at home but I find myself focusing on the word, see. To me it implies that he is going to model a pratical nature by fixing the roof hoping that his mum sees that her impractical approach to life is not right and follow Lyns logic 🙄. Part of the conversation he has on the phone with Brad is overheard, or his responses etc are easily overheard as his mum comments on them, but doesnt ask Lyn about the fact he lied out of his ass. As a parent I would be asking why lie, have to say. It has kinda changed my view of Lyn a little, he is still woefully disingenuous with himself, it is not practical to think to Alexs manner toward him as positive affectionate and caring because Lyn feels, inadequate. Lyn maybe believes that Alex would never truly see someone from Lyns background. If Lyn is unable to emotionally work out his guilt over having Alex pay so he is able to partake in joint adventures, he has again missinterpreted Alex's true motives As @Cane23 said it is hard to see Brad behave is such a cavalier manner doing what looks good to others... ie Alex... it is possesive and totally unfair and if at some point in the story Lyn doesnt smack him upside the head, I sure as shit want to. ( my way of saying a clip behind the ear, very popular when I was a kid and not painful or forceful) I still believe Brad has always been aware of Lyns feelings for him and Alex's feelings for Lyn why else would he have to continue with such behaviour. He thinks he will be left behind if they get together. Alex sees Lyn and Brad for how they actually are as individuals no matter how much they try to hide from themselves and each other. Brad only know how to manipulate to get what he wants and Alex sees that and doesnt like it. Lyn tries so hard to be the way he thinks he should be seen he has lost himself completely. Alex is always watching for when Lyn is unguarded. Obviously his feelings for Lyn are part of the reason the trio stayed friends, if he disliked Brad and didnt hang out with him he would have lost Lyn. Unrequited love = dispair that is very true. Alex was mad at Lyn cause he was scared he was going to drown. Have to say I would be angry at Lyn for being the way he is but you dont choose who you love.

It does thank you, as a very much stand my gound person with a heavy sense of advocacy I will be more mindful of those that may do as you do. Hmm so to apply that to Lyn .... could he then feel he is maintaining stability within certain situations thus simulating the feeling of self/control enough to not directly deal with his own emotional feelings on or in situations ignoring the way he feels about it altogether?

Some people and in this case Lyn spend so much time developing career, health habits, a visual representation that everyone else sees that some bits of them are underdeveloped, in this case Lyn has very little ability to deal with is emotions so he just doesnt deal at all. I dont think Lyn understands his perceived desire to compete with Alexander just missinterprits competing with need to be seen by that person. Just a thought

Interesting @Cane23 I dont disagree, Alex and his approach is as you say, methodical and deliberate and careful, it has to be otherwise it will blow up in his face. Lyn will resent the push and shut down completely. I think that parts of Lyns personality resonates with people for different reasons. I get the control stuff as I am similar but I struggle with his need to be as you said the peacemaker. It sounds like a horrible situation to experience in reality but how do you or anyone including Lyn just not say "fuck you all" does that not fit within the self preservation element of his personality? I feel like im missing something integral because of this. If my cicle dont get along I dont bother to say fuck you I literally put my hands up and say you guys work it out or dont but I dont change what I do or how I treat people. Does that make any sense. As I said struggling with that. In part I understand the desire to maintain relationships between others but in part, im in the dark.

So Lyn is trying to keep them together not wanting to revert back to what was 8 years ago. Least he can stop letting the little sneaky thoughts into his head with distracting stuff. Though that being said he seems more invested evidently in keeping Alex there than Brad is. As for Lyns....the sex is just sex he can deal with that.... good luck, the little feels are sneaking through and while he believes he can control himself even he cant elude Alex's consistent approach. "Let go, for fuck sake, Lyns its ok " well said Alex. Whats Lyn afraid of everything .... being alone, rejection, love, commitment, intimacy and himself. Its easier to love what you cant have cause you cant have it. No chance of heartache. Hoping that they all realise control is an illusion.

No one person sees the same event the same way each will have their own perceived view coloured by their own long held delusions... Love, Hate and Money.... that shit can take people to therapy. @Cane23 I still see Luke in that way, though I do like your theory his role maybe speaking from a non malicious point of veiw, especially if Brad has explained the past from his POV only. Which I think he may have goven his behaviour at the bar.

It will be very interesting to see what happens as Alexander and Lyn continue be drawn together. Brad certainly has his need for his ego being stroked for lack of a better term. I am considering what the issue could have been for Brad and his ex? Maybe she didnt show ongoing adoration or was not so well off? Maybe he didnt like her as much as he thought and was just trying to keep up with his perceptions of Alex as a womanizer?

3 years and 7 days and it leads me to wonder what the catalyst will be, or rather who? @Seraph28 you spoke of self denial being a form of self preservation, it is and I cant wait for the @Laura S. Fox line that will make them all take off their masks or break their carefully constructed walls. Even if I want to take a hammer to Lyns still.

Alex and Lyn fitting together like a pair of gloves, I think reaks of jealousy. As does his comment of his perception of their similarities. They belong in a world he feels he doesnt or cant and maybe wants too. So why did he get wasted the girl or the guys? Also @Laura S. Fox I am wondering why has it not occurred to Alex yet to change his method of attempting to break through to Lyn? I guess we still have 7 days to go. Wondering...if Lyn has thought of what Alex and his rejection would look if it was Alex he had a crush on he must of however fleetingly considered the opposite. Also while I dont hate anyone I do not love their behaviour at times and such so no matter how handsome/attractive someone is they become very unattractive physically. Lyn continues to say how many annoying traits the still handsome Alex has. It is like they are all equal sides to the triangle they havent worked out how to put together yet. @Cane23 coping mechanisms are a bitch, also easy to write off the stupid shit one does when one is drunk.

Well I have to agree with all of that, it does have a very Austenesque feel, Brad seems to fit Willoughby a bit better to me because of his need to maintain his financial advantage or loose it all.... but what was Brad in danger loosing, was it what potentially being gay or bi would cost him emotionally/family and financially and with the loss of relationship/friendship with Alex due to the falling out, had to reasses ending up with Bella and Luke. Alex is getting more chatty as he goes along but he does have an air of the Colonel as well in his evident patience where Lynton is concerned. Ready to step in and elevate and protect. I feel like Alex may have bailed Brad out over the intervening years but how much does he do to attempt to protect Lynton.

Have to agree that there is a seperate history we are yet to see between Brad and Alexander, Alex doesnt seem to like him much at all, I think Lyn always saw Brad as the reason they are all friends and I dont think this is at all true. While individual emotions may be the glue it seems the ever ignorant Lynton is the reason they are friends and both Alex and Brad had or have different reasons for that friendship I think. While I do agree the line "I know enough, It will never be you Lynton" it is very direct and blunt and you could almost over look it as saying enough. Lynton asked Alex what he knew about him and Alex responded "I know enough" followed by "it will never be you" and ended it reitterating the never. Lyn being the way he is wont ask the WHY Alex knew or the HOW Alex knew. And a part that a couple of avid readers highlighted I overlooked was indeed the bathroom. Luke said Brad had been in the bathroom for a while, wonder if he slipped something in Brads drink? Perhaps there was a conversation prior to Alex and Lyn arriving that threw Brad totally off balance?

I think @Laura S. Foxwants us to see that everything is important. Maybe give us a feel for the confusion that Lynton is feeling as his delusions crack slowly one by one.

May have to read that one a couple of times. There is a lot said with different behaviours and looks etc. I am wondering how much Luke knows of the original trios history because his questions were leading very leading with the desired effect of creating friction. While I still want to smack Lynton upside the head in his defence perhaps he is a highly inteligent person with no common sense at all. Met a few in my time. I do hope he works out why he actually hates Alex eventually. So he could be a higly fuctional lawyer who cant match is emtional socks cause no book taught him how. You just gravitated toward me like poor little moths to a flame.” I feel like this was directed only to Brad. I still think Brad was aware of Lyntons feelings for him and did just enough to keep him on the hook and away from Alex. Perhaps his motive to inviting them back was more to show what he has marrying Bella and his new and improved bestie. Ok so I am really eager to find out the "why " Alex got married if not the who. Alex cut the conversation off about his finances and his scholarship, I feel like he is trying to not be his family. To earn his own way in his own right and have the person he loved see that. Perhaps he got married to prove a point to someone. After all Brad seems to know more about that. The further we get along the more I feel the need to go back and read more deeply. See not only between the lines but the paralells. Emotions remain the glue. So cant wait to keep reading.