LeeSA

Agree with the "Mr President" comment but why would a total stranger attach the to Lyn ? I have a train of thought in my head obviously about who the new kids is but maybe that is my own wishful thinking. Is it a case of validation for external source that continues to motivate Lyn on this path ?

Well that makes sense, Lyn started putting up barriers to the things he understood and felt very early on. In attempts of self preservation and keeping his mothers secrets. If he didnt like something or it hurt he simply changed the language. How would a 16 yr old kid possibly know how to deal with the life the lived otherwise. His chosen euphemism of Freelancer for his mum is kinda smart. The new guy at school cute obviously ticked a lot of young Lyns boxes. The blue eyes, the obnoxious attitude. Made me think back to a comment back in chapter 4 in the library where Alexander walked up to the table Lyn was at. "Im not people, not to you" was what Alexander said over his shoulder to Lyn...first time I read it, it struck me as familiar, fast forward or backwards to this memory and it is me wondering if that new kid was Alexander. Maybe that memory was just lost in Lyns desperate attempt to get who his father is put of his head. His drive to get as far way from everything his childhood stood for is a powerful motivator. I actually had a moment of pure empathy for Lyn this chapter because when he eventually breaks apart it is going to be brutal. 😥

@Laura S. Fox did mention that these two chapters were going to be connected but I cant work out the actual day for the life of me is day 4?

Perhaps thats exactly what Lyn needs, not so much the ass whooping but to finally have to face his fears. Lyn goes around his, but it will come.

Well Ill be buggered. Wow

Ok so after reading my comments back through... I have little excuse... work brain fog 🫣..... yes it was meant to read Alex. And really it appears I have a habit of forgetting the gender thing, cant even blame brain fog for that @Cane23 so there ya go.

Love and hate are each others flip side. Alex had to walk his own path of redemption through a failed marriage. The gender or identity of his ex we dont know or how long after college he got married and divorced. Maybe Alexs family expecations were being pushed on him towards the end of college and he was desperate for Lyn to finally step up and of course its Lyn so he couldnt and Brad had his claws in deep then too and probably fed Lyn a bunch of bull to further his own positon and ego. I could see that scenario devolving into a massive blow up.

It is interesting that Alex sees the time Brad asked to spend alone with Lyn as Brad as trying to manipulate Lyn into taking sides. I think that will have something to do with the agrument 8 years ago. Perhaps Brad will spend his time trying to drive a wedge between Lyn and Alex and maybe this is something that has occurred previously.

Very good point, maybe he met Bella through Luke maybe they were closet fb then too.

I found the aggressive tones in this chapter, Luke with Lyn, Brad with Lyn interesting. Both Brad and Luke are behaving similarly towards Lyn (not saying he should have interjected himself into Lukes temper tantrum in the first place) but he has as he said his own objective, limit confrontation and support all efforts to keep the pre wedding plan on track for Brad. Before Lyn even went out to speak to Luke he gave himself the permission to hide again from the possibilities in front of him. "Lyn had to remind himself that he couldnt possibly be the cause of Lukes problems" on some level he knew/knows that he is the centre piece and his seemingly idiotic behaviour is causing issues or he would not have had to give himself a pep talk before gping out to speak to Luke. I am wondering still if Luke is mad at Brads focus not being on him and on Lyn, jealous that he has to share or has lost part of Brads attention. When Lyn is not there he is Brads focus maybe sexually maybe just as a mate but he has no competition. There is no way he could be anything but conflicted watching the intimacy between Lyn and Alex knowing that Brad is watching it grow too and still focusing on Lyn. I dont think he was going to kiss Lyn or ask too at all. He could have been about to say " Can I .... ask what you have that I dont ? " or "Can I .... ask why you came " maybe Im wrong. Luke was aggressively in his personal space in a threatening manner. Same with Brad I think that was aggression not sexual. As for Brads plan at three hours alone with Lyn.... its the only way he can hope to keep Lyns attention. So what happens in those 3 hours will be very telling to Brads hidden motives and the depths of his manipulations. He has to think he has something to gain or he wouldnt do it at all. Alex knows Lyn but mentioned the dangers of the path he is following and has a better grasp of the bigger picture. He knows Lyn is loyal to a fault but sometimes your loyalty will take you the wrong way and it blows up in your face. Lastly when Lyn is alone with Alex he starts of open and vulnerable when the feels get to close he retreats. Falling on apologies and well used lines of crap like Im sorry I dont know about your marriage etc etc. Alex leaving the room is simply giving Lyn boundaries. Letting him know that this is not a passing fling, he is in for the long haul and its not just about sex, which Lyn uses as a distraction. He wants Lyn to face the tough questions, I am hopeful that Lyn continues to be strong enough to withstand the bullshit that Lyn hides behind.

I like to think that they were still too young to see what was going on then and yes Alexanders own insecurity and vulnerability is on show. That being said Lyn chose to defend Alex in that situation because he cared too much to let it pass. Defending Brad was a little different cause Brad just misses or chooses to ignore the undertones of every situation much less hear what anyone is actually saying to him. Falls back on his usual jokes. One act is an emotional response for Lyn the other is just reminding Alex, Brad is different. Feels a bit less sad maybe? That way

Im kinda thinking Lyns instict to protect those he cares about comes from it being something he was not able to do previously ..... perhaps his dad. It just carried over in his everyday life. Even if his dad fucked up big time he would still want to defend his family especially as a child

Exactly..... Lyn felt safe behind his walls keeping everyone at arms length. If he lets anyone in he has to confront himself and his feelings about himself and for Alexander. Hiding is much easier or so he thought, not so much anymore. Lyn has done a lot of posturing himself just a little more subtle than an outright pissing content. Lyn has not let himself be completely vulnerable since, well their entire friendship.

Exactly..... Lyn felt safe behind his walls keeping everyone at arms length. If he lets anyone in he has to confront himself and his feelings about himself and for Alexander. Hiding is much easier or so he thought, not so much anymore. Lyn has done a lot of posturing himself just a little more subtle than an outright pissing content. Lyn has not let himself be completely vulnerable since, well their entire friendship.

I dont think he was oblivious at all, he was scared. The three of them are, though the reasons differ. Lyn is scared to face the unknown. Scared to take a chance on something he is not able to workshop the potential outcomes. When you grow up feeling like your in the way, unwanted and a burden, that changes you. Some of Lyns attempts to fade into the background of his life before college had the desired effect otherwise he wouldnt keep doing that. Get through the crap with as little impact as possible and then you can live. Part of Lyns relationship with his mum is the cause of that and his dad and what happened there. Though we dont know too much about that yet. If he was ostracised from his social circle he will not want too much atrention either. As for his loyalty to his friends, it comes from a deep acknowlegement of who they are and accepting that. I figure he has seen a lack of loyalty in his life too. Lyn is quite possesive here too. Gotta love that. @Cane23 talked previoisly about mirrors and duplicity. Lyns reaction to Brad is physical tingles etc when they touch or hug, a look. His response to Alex is emotional and its growing. Hence the fear and a desire to hide from what is going on in front of him.

Hmm I didnt really pay much attention to that particular comment of Lyns.... "I cant be your mother hen all your life" There are so many other ways Lyn could have said that. I cant look out for you forever, its time to stand on your own two feet.... but mother hen? I feel like because he was caught in the middle of the three and their displays, maybe he gave a more accurate account of his feelings for Brad even if he doesnt realise it or even understand them

I didnt think of that, late shift brain.

Have to agree with the declaration of intent and he backed it up with the napkin issue. The only people I ever see do that are parents, partners or lovers. Alex is no parent.

Very good point. But if you dont feed the puppy eventually ot is going to bite.

Well would you look at that, hot as hell and well timed. I know adult Lyn still hides behind his carefully constructed delusions, this chapter I understood another part of why he was so scared to let his wall drop. It is hard when you measure your responses actions and carefully construct your life to bolster your delusions and ignore your base needs. Your deepest desires. In the moment when Lyn admits that he is truly present with Alex, he acknowleges his base need. To let go the reins, be used, desired and pushed by the one he trusts to hold him while he falls both physically and emotionally. The trust that took for Lyn in the light of day is going to scare the shit out of him. But I think its his first time honestly and emotionally connecting with himself...Alex is at his forefront even during his interaction with Brad. He feels his ass more than Brads fingers. Alex needed Lyn to be totally present, which he was, and he acknowleged in the moment. To be with him and not some deluded fantasy with Brad. Lyn let Alex see a part of him because he trusted him. Alex was desperate to hear that he was a living feature in a fantasy for Lyn. He needed in that moment to know he was replacing the long held fantasy of Brad. I am very pleased that is exactly what he got even if Lyn was fighting the emotion of it a bit. Again with the pissing contest though this time Brad knows he is coming in at a loss. His teasing words are, I think, negated by his physical reaction. He is angry that he is continuing to loose his place in Lyns life. As an adult he is not in the same position, how can he be? As Lyn said he needs to fly the coop and he is getting married. Brad also said he didnt want to. I took that to mean he doesnt know how to extricate himself from the pending wedding. Maybe he was hoping that Lyns long held crush would blow it up for him. If I have to be fair and I promised myself I would try maybe he is just too scared to look at his feelings for Lyn. I think Luke was indeed warning Lyn away from "his" Brad. It feels like they both know what transpired between Lyn and Alex and neither of them like it, for different reasons.

Thanks first laugh of my day 😂

Thank you .... I was really struggling to see anything positive about his behaviour. I think I said somewhere along the line that he isnt aware of his feelings about Lyn however I would be truly gutted if anything happened between those two now. His behaviour is undeserving or is that my wish for a HEA for Lyn and Alexander ? Maybe the point from our dear author is for us to be caught up in the crap he projects. I am waiting for him to royally mess up.

Such a sweet chapter, and yes a genuine kiss, even if Lyn had to do Lyn and run away. He knew back then where that road could lead. He aknowleged that Alex makes him feel safe. As @akascrubber Lyn gave Alex a gift that he valued. When someone cares enough to remember little moments in time you have shared, you feel seen. I know I keep saying that but when it happens it creates a bond no matter the type of relationship. Not telling Brad, He seems hell bent on being seen as a surface level party animal with no depth. They fact that Alex and Lyn so easily agree that this is their moment shows that Brad is on the outer despite Lyns crush and that on some level they know it wont be well received. Brad telling Alex "everything" is cruel. I am struggling with Brad, I believe that everyone wants to feel wanted needed loved respected etc etc but no matter how hard I try I only see Brad as a hack saleman. He manipulates to get what he wants and uses Lyns feelings for his own benefit, I see nothing good/positive. He has his mask yes but I think the person behind the mask is worse than what we see.... ? Someone give me something to work with ?

Whether it is from Lyns own self image issues, upbringing, his ongoing need to hide aspects of himself like being gay and poor, his need to self isolate for fear of rejection, whether its assumptive or realistic, Lyn sees Alexander. The good and the bad thats powerful. Perhaps it is that aspect of Lyn that Alex is drawn to. Alex knows he can be an ass due to his own upbringing, and as such deals with a lot of falseness from people who see him as someone to be forgiven for his behaviours like Brad does, never reacting to his rudeness etc etc. The Braclet poped up this chapter too which grounded Lyn each time he went way off on his own script at the beach and in the shower gave him courage perhaps in the fact that Alex cared enough to still wear it.

Wondering if Alexanders reluctance to be upfront with Lyn is just the way he has decided to maintain Lyns focus. Lyn likes a challenge. Although Alexanders feelings for Lyns are as long or longer than Lyns feelings for Brad. Alexander had Lyn in his sights before Brad wandered along. He is asking when Lyns infatuation with Brad will end or when he will see Brad for who he really is, but Alex has not let go of his feelings for Lyn. Alex and Lyn are protective of each other, Lyn did not want Alex to partake in a phallic measurement of ones ego or percieved masculinity. When Brad realized that by no fault of his own Lyn has caught more of Lukes attention that he wants he is not happy at all. I also think that Alexs language when the group parted was to further highlight to Brad that his hold on Lyn is wavering, using "our room" and also making Brad aware that he and Lyn have conversatiins aside from him ie the salt in the hair stuff. Perhaps Lyn is realizing he had missplaced some feelings towards Brad back in the day. Feeling attracted to him as a package.... family home friends extraverted seemingly easygoing and so on, the things Lyn was lacking.