PlugInMatty

so, I just bought somebody a toilet seat for Christmas. worst Secret Santa ever. that is all.

She was a lonely old lady. He was the boy next door. This is their story.

They met on a quiet Saturday morning in February. She’d been sweeping the porch, re-potting a plant, doing the usual housework when a little boy in dirty sneakers appeared at the bottom of the front steps. “Hello, young man,” she greeted, leaning down to his height as he turned 360 without any need or cue. “May I ask your name?” “I’m Connor!” he confidently told her, giving his biggest and brightest smile as she settled on one knee and secured the straw hat that had suddenly caugh

you're terrible, Muriel.

I won't patronise you with some glorified 'it gets better' crap, but it sounds like you need to get more selfish on the financial front. I mean, yeah, fair enough, I don't have kids, so I can't really relate to the whole 'I'd do anything for them' thing, but the stress is making you physically ill. Furthermore, you're digging yourself a financial hole to provide for two ADULTS who have JOBS. Yes, charity is in your nature, but they're ADULTS with JOBS. You're taking on an unnecessary financial burden, to provide for two people who have the means to ease that financial burden. Hell, they might not even realise the stress they're putting you under right now. But, in my experience, if you allow yourself to be a doormat, people will happily walk all over you.

it's confirmed, 100% of voters think I shouldn't quit my job just to make it clear, I have a job with my current employer for as long as I want it, and have no intention of resigning until I've signed on the dotted line somewhere else. @Greedya: $200k per annum sounds pretty unreal, doesn't it? let me break it down for you: commission-based job + $77k starting salary + bonuses + sell a few houses = $200k. yes, real estate is a pressure-filled environment, but I've always enjoyed and excelled under pressure. in terms of 'luxury', that's not really a consideration. I don't dream of boats, mansions or BMWs, I'm more interested in financial security and buying my first house. @MikeL: unfortunately, I'm not in a position to dictate terms. I work for a large multi-national, and even if my boss wanted to pay overs to stop me leaving, he'd never get approval from HR to do it. with my company's rigid payscale, the only way he could make it work in the short-term is if he created a new senior position and offered it to me. for all I know, he could be planning to do that. I know he rates my work highly, and I also know that he'll be very disappointed to lose me, so he might push to make it happen. I won't be holding my breath, though. at least not in these economic times... @Nephy: I've weighed up the pros and cons, and I know that all of the jobs I'm considering would be excellent career moves. the working conditions are universally excellent, and all of the jobs have opportunities for short and long-term advancement. basically, they're all outstanding opportunities, and the only difference is remuneration. so, all things being equal, do I place financial security above loyalty and chase the almighty dollar elsewhere? decisions, decisions. @Cia: in short, I want to take the position with my current employer, but I can't make the numbers work. I've already taken steps to trim my expenses, and I can survive in the short-term. however, this career move is about getting ahead, not surviving. if I take the job with my current employer, I could be here in 12 months time, waiting for that magical 'opportunity' to come up and STILL fighting to get ahead financially. worse, I could be bitter and disillusioned, thinking about how much more comfortable I'd be on the sort of salary I'd have earnt on the open market. the fact is, I work with a lot of good people, and I'm at least second in line for the next promotion that comes up. with the incredibly low management turnover that my company has, being second in line could mean anything up to a 2 year wait. I guess, if I was desperate, I could break my rental agreement and move in with one of my friends to save money and get ahead, but do I want to go through all the hassle and expense of moving house when I could easily maintain my current lifestyle and earn a higher salary with another employer? I've done the sums, and if I maintained my current expenses and took the lowest-paying job that I'm applying for, I'd be free of personal debt and ready to buy a house within two years. if I took the highest-paying job, I'd be debt-free and have that home deposit by next Christmas. none of that is going to be possible if I take this new job with my current employer, though. even when a promotion does come up, it's still going to be a lower salary than what I'd earn in either of the external jobs that I'm considering. also, for what it's worth, any of the jobs I'm currently considering would be an excellent career move. I've worked very hard to get to the position I'm currently in, and I've now got the sort of resume that's going to pay a small fortune on the open job market. it's just a matter of whether I cash in now, or cop a whole load of short-to-mid term financial pain and hope I can cash in with my current employer at a later date. in the words of my boss, I'm "doing absolutely everything right", so I know that I'll keep climbing the corporate ladder if I stay with my current employer, it's just a matter of whether I'm prepared to go broke while playing the waiting game, and whether I'm prepared to turn down other big opportunities in the meantime. as you've probably figured out by now, I'm leaning towards those other opportunities. @Menorain: the romantic in me wants to stay and wait it out, but I know that I'll end up disillusioned if I stay and then get passed over for the next senior position. logically, I know that if I take this opportunity and do a good job, bigger and better things will eventually come of it. however, an eventual pay rise isn't going to pay my current bills. also, with my company's payscale, that eventual pay rise is still going to be lower than the money I could earn on the open market. @James: you're like the devil on my shoulder, telling me to take the money and run haha. actually, your response reminds me of a passage from a classic Run DMC song: Money is the key to end all your woes, Your ups and downs, your highs and your lows, Won't you tell me last time that love bought you clothes? It's like that, and that's the way it is. never a truer word spoken.

so, I'm quitting my job. because I hate it? no. because I'm bored with it? no. lack of opportunity? no. then why the hell are you quitting your job? because of money. I'm quitting my job because of money, and I feel like the lowest kind of shit for doing so. to make things worse, I was pulled into a meeting with my department manager yesterday morning (i.e. my big boss), and offered a job setting up all of the accounting processes for the Australian arm of the Lowe's hardware chain. now that's a pretty f**king big deal. if you're at all familiar with the Lowe's brand, you'll understand just how big a deal that is. but since I'd be on the same salary as my current job in the short-term, and my boss can't guarantee that a more senior position would become available in the mid-term, I'm basically turning it down. professionally, it's the most amazing opportunity I've ever been given, and I'm turning it down to chase the almighty dollar somewhere else. seriously, what the f**k am I doing? I just... I don't understand what I'm supposed to do in this situation. my #1 priority for the next 5 years is to save money and buy my first house, and I know I can't do that on my current salary. I've crunched the numbers, and I simply cannot make them work. and even though there's this amazing professional opportunity, an opportunity that could basically set me up for the next 5 years of my working life, it's still on a salary that'd slowly sink me into a horrible debt. I know that I'd be in pole position for the next promotion/pay rise that came up within my company, but our staff turnover is so low that I could be waiting 6-12 months before anything even comes up. seriously, we've only had one team leader/manager resign in the whole three and a half years that I've been there, so I know there's no point holding my breath. but still, 6 months is virtually nothing in terms of my long-term career path. if I can get through those 6-12 months, I'm set. but when you're struggling to make ends meet on your current salary, 6 months is an absolute lifetime. and it's getting the point where I just can't continue to tread the financial path that I've been treading. so what do I do? do I move in with friends and cut my living expenses in preparation for 6-12 months of playing the waiting game, or do I walk away from the company that's given me so much and chase the almighty dollar somewhere else? for what it's worth, I've already singled out three jobs that I want to apply for. there's a Department of Immigration job that'd earn me at least $15k-$20k more than what I'm currently on, and it's in the same building that one of my best friends already works in. there's also a Property Management job (with an undisclosed salary) that I know I'd enjoy 100%. and then there's a Real Estate sales position that offers a starting salary at least 150% larger than the one I'm currently on. better yet, there's the potential to earn 600% of what I currently earn, as long as I'm not completely shit at it. after years of struggling to make ends meet, $200,000 per annum is more than I would ever know what to do with. (what a terrible problem to have) anyway, now that I've got all that off my chest, what do you think I should do? I've got a few days to consider whether I want to take the Lowe's job, and I've got until the end of next week to submit an application for all of the other jobs. oh, and I've already told my big boss that I couldn't accept straight away because I'm considering leaving the company, so pretending this whole thing never happened is not a viable option. but for what it's worth, he completely understands the position I'm currently in, and supports any decision 100%. oh, and he smiled and waved to me while I was doing my grocery shopping earlier tonight. so yeah, we're all good. anyway, after all that venting, what do you think I should do? as usual, all opinions welcome. oh, and vote in my poll. peace.

so, I was thinking about this new writing idea. it's nothing all that special, and I probably won't even post it to GA, but I was thinking about doing a series of tongue-in-cheek vignettes based on popular tv shows. in particular, popular formulaic tv shows. CSI, Criminal Minds, Hot in Cleveland, How I Met Your Mother, that sorta stuff. anything that's cliched or follows the same episode structure every week. to start you off, this is one I've done for the popular CBS sitcom, Two and a Half Men: as you can see, it's a very literal form of humour, highlighting the cliched nature of the subject matter. other parodies might reference the off-screen lives of particular actors (eg: Charlie's fascination with porn stars), but I thought I'd stay in character and play by their rules for the first one. anyway, let me know what you think. if enough people like them, I might actually bother to put some up in eFiction or something. in other news, blew my knee out last weekend. nothing particularly special (playing basketball - don't even remember when it happened, frankly), but it's swollen as all hell, and walking in anything other than straight lines is pretty much a no-go. fun times. doctor's thinking torn cartilage, so I'm looking at at least six weeks on the sideline if it able to heal by itself. otherwise, surgery. ugh. anyway, could tell you a million other wonderful stories, but I'll save those for another time. needless to say, life is pretty good. hope you're all well. peace.

well, I didn't cry, but I feel like a better person for watching that.

would you like your present now or,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, later?

so.......... it's, um, been a while. six months, in fact. six months since my last (proper) blog update and... um... I've got nothing. well, that's not entirely true. I've been places, met people, done things, made progress. but still, as I sit and write this... nothing. it's like life has settled down and become pleasantly non-descript. vanilla, even. it's not chocolate, strawberry, topping or sprinkles; but it's kinda sweet and fulfilling nonetheless. as I said, vanilla. anyway, can't be bothered doing the whole 'catch up' thing at the moment, so I'll just get straight to the point of today's blog... I'm taking one of my stories offline. you know the one I haven't updated in twelve months? yeah, that one. basically, I'm desperately unhappy with it, so I'm taking it offline until further notice. hopefully that'll give me the motivation to begin reworking it and actually finish it properly. there's a nice, clever little story in there somewhere, and I've got a significant amount of unedited material sitting on my hard drive, so I'm 99% sure that I'll come back to it at some point. in the meantime, I'm working on something else. I always did have big plans for The Middle, so I'm gonna give that my full attention for now. that said, I don't know when I'll be posting any new chapters. from what I understand, eFiction is being torpedoed, so that doesn't exactly motivate me to start posting again. I know that sounds bad, but I really don't see the point of posting something new and then having to repost it all again. (and now I'm in a bad mood. Thanks, GA.) anyway, I'm off to clean up my computer desk and actually do some writing. feel free to say hi. Matt.

let's just say I had a bad day at the office...

thanks for all the birthday love haven't been all that active around here lately, but will endeavour to post a blog/photo update at some stage over the weekend. god forbid, might even get some writing done. sit tight!

Current Gym Playlist: Yellowcard - Lights and Sounds Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue The White Stripes - Icky Thump Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To Unwritten Law - Up All Night U2 - Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me Switchfoot - Oh! Gravity Sum 41 - Still Waiting Story of the Year - In the Shadows The Supermen Lovers - Starlight Savage Garden - I Want You Robbie Williams - Let Me Entertain You Red Hot Chilli Peppers - By The Way The Presets - Talk Like That OK Go - Invincible N.E.R.D. - She Wants To Move Mya - Case of the Ex Muse - Hysteria Marilyn Manson - I Don't Like the Drugs, But the Drugs Like Me Marilyn Manson - The Beautiful People Maroon 5 - Harder to Breathe Linkin Park - Points of Authority Kylie Minogue - Better The Devil You Know The Killers - When You Were Young Junior Senior - Move Your Feet Jimmy Eat World - Pain Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American INXS - New Sensation Hole - Celebrity Skin Gyroscope - Baby, I'm Gettin' Better Grinspoon - Ready 1 Good Charlotte - The Anthem Garbage - Why Do You Love Me? The Fratellis - Flathead Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs Faker - Hurricane Eskimo Joe - Who Sold Her Out? End of Fashion - O Yeah! Duran Duran - A View To A Kill Destiny's Child - Jumpin' Jumpin' Daft Punk - Robot Rock British India - Run The Red Light Boys Like Girls - Heart Heart Heartbreak Beyonce - Crazy In Love Behind Crimson Eyes - Shakedown Basement Jaxx - Good Luck Basement Jaxx - Raindrops The Ataris - The Boys of Summer At The Drive-In - One-Armed Scissor Art vs Science - Parlez vous Francais? Arctic Monkeys - When The Sun Goes Down I have terrible taste in music

this is where I learnt about sheep-powered ray guns: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSZITpzxQWY Sheep in the Big City.

f**k me, I hate that song. how many times is she going to try and re-record Crazy In Love before she finally gives up?

and for what it's worth, I'd definitely have to say Ass Like That by Eminem. what an awful, unimaginative song.

you mean you don't wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy?

wow, puts a few things in perspective.

some contenders... PJ Harvey, Ben Folds, Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails), Jack White (The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather, etc), Courtney Love (I know Kurt's more fashionable, but...), Gary Barlow, Matt Bellamy (back when he used to play piano, not since he discovered drum machine). and if I had to pick one... Jack White.

you know, if your life was a tv show, this would be the sort of event where somebody's dirty secret comes out, or somebody's marriage falls apart, or somebody's stalker finally confronts them, or OH MY GOD THE BALCONY COLLAPSES AND A PERIPHERAL CHARACTER DIES. just saying...

patience, Grasshopper. what you need, is to get your swagger back. Secret Life Chase would never have sat and wondered whether his work was good enough, he'd just write a heap of words and tell you to go f**k yourself if you didn't like it. I miss that Chase

Radiohead - Creep. *waits for Simple Plan and other lame examples of teen angst*

don't ask. just... don't.

so, Bieber Fever has hit. like, really hit. the little f**ker's everywhere! what started as an unexpected (read: unwanted) surprise on daytime tv last month, has now turned into a full-blown cultural phenomenon. he's #1 on the charts, #1 on Twitter, #1 in little girls' hearts and I'm pretty sure full-grown adults do #1s in their pants every time they hear his pre-pubescent voice. but, for all the hype and screaming and oh-my-god-he's-so-freaking-cute, Bieber Fever is still a work in progress. consider the following incidents at work: Monday, 7.05am Matt: "Morning, all." Colleague #1: "Morning." Matt: "See the news this morning?" Colleague #1: "No, why?" Matt: "Justin Bieber cancelled his concert. Worst news ever." Colleague #1: "Justin who?" Matt: "Oh, never mind." Monday, 12.17pm Matt: *sits down at lunch table* "Hello, everyone." Colleague named 'Everyone': "Hello." Matt: "What's news?" Colleague named 'Everyone': "Not much." Matt: *feigns interest, contempation and, finally, lack of knowledge* "Anyone see that Bieber thing on the news this morning?" Colleague named 'Everyone': "Who?" Matt: "Oh, never mind." Tuesday, 7.37am Colleague #7: "Hey Matt, I saw that Bieber kid on the news last night." Matt: "Really?" Colleague #7: "Yeah." Colleague #8: "Me, too." Matt: "And?" Colleague #8: "What's wrong with his hair?" Matt: "I don't know, Colleague #8. I really don't." Tuesday, 12.08pm Matt: *sits down at lunch table* Colleague named 'Everyone': "Hey Matt, I saw that Bieber thing you were talking about." Matt: "You did?" Colleague named 'Everyone': "Yeah, it was on the news last night." Matt: "Oh. And?" Colleague named 'Everyone': "Um, that's all, really." Matt: "Fair enough." *begins eating lunch* Tuesday, 2.37pm Matt: *walks back into office after his break* Colleague #3: "Baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Matt: "What are you doing, Colleague #3?" Colleague #3: *goes silent* "Um, nothing." Matt: "No, wait, you were singing, weren't you?" Colleague #3: "No!" Matt: "Yes, you were." Colleague #3: "No, I swear!" Matt: "Were you singing a Justin Bieber song, Colleague #3?" Colleague #3: "No! I swear!" Colleague #4: "Don't listen to him, Matt. He's been doing it all day!" Matt: "Right, Colleague #3. You die now." Colleague #3: *tries to run away* "Baby, baby, baby, noooooooooooooooooooooooo..." Thursday, 10.23am Matt: "Hi, Colleague #247." Colleague #247: *mumbles greeting* Matt: "How are you today, Colleague #247?" Colleague #247: *grunts* "Shit." Matt: "How come?" Colleague #247: *grunts again* Colleague #2479: "I don't think he's well, Matt." Matt: *nods at Colleague #2479* "Is this true, Colleague #247?" Colleague #247: *grunts again* Matt: *rests hand against forehead* "Have you had the flu shot?" Colleague #247: *grunts, mumbles, nods head* Matt: "Hmmm...." Colleague #2479: "Any idea what it is, Matt?" Matt: *considers situation for a moment* "Well, I can't be sure, but I think he might have a serious case of Bieber Fever." Colleague #2479: "Oh, of course!" Matt: "Yep. And I think he might be terminal." Colleague #247: "Matt, f**k off." Matt: "Your funeral, buddy." *walks away* so, there you have it. Bieber Fever is catching. and in a world of blanket news coverage and reverse-cycle air-conditioning, I fear it's a matter of time before I become the next victim. god help us all.