W_L

Well rebellious Ryan is more fun with lube I am a generic user, brand name doesn't matter to me (Removed bottle, just noticed the words, too obvious and might not go well with the kids)

Congrats on the newest member of your family! May he/she/all the above enjoy the fullest things that life has to offer

Do I detect a potential Wincest story on GA?

I know, we're still a month away from my official launch date, but I wanted to talk about why I wrote this story and some things that I just fel strongly about. In 2012, I had this idea to create a story involving teams of hackers competing against each other in a secret war of information. I didn't think I was computer savvy enough to write it, so I left it off on my shelf for 3 years. I recently read an article about Cyber bullying and its affect on Gay teens, which got me into plotting again and revising my original idea. Cyber-bullying is a horrible issue that society is just learning about, but the way we're dealing with it is basically like a traditional bully/victim relationship. However, there's a critical flaw in this assumption; everyone assumes only kids are bullying other kids and there are no directed attacks. Anyone who has been online at least for a few years knows that this is false; adults have reasons to attack people online in merciless cyber assaults and kids are easy targets of opportunity or potential gain, if let's say you want to make sure the future of LGBT causes have weaker presences. In addition, we have a culture of people who attack with ugly reasoning without conscience or ethics. Some do it out of profit, others misguided faith. Combine all of that and you have a story that extends from the world of classrooms to boardrooms to megachurches to terrorist camps in Syria and beyond. When borders of physical limits collapse, how far will human beings go to act upon their darkest impulses and ugliest desires? How far will the virtuous among us keep fighting such an enemy, who will never rest and never needs to? That's the world that I envision in Cyber-Bullying Defense Team (CBDT)

Don't worry, we all love it, no one can top Lucy Lawless for that Yell:

Damn it! I was getting cleaned up and writing again, now I just got my first taste of Crack, Political Crack I need to remember unlike years before I have a young story to think about; he's not even 1 chapter old yet; I can't just abandon him for a quick political score during the primaries. Still, it is so much fun to debate, fight over views about everything from the role of government to the role of a parking ban against non-residents. Political debate is addictive; it's like sex without conscience or responsibility. Any point is up for grabs, it is just how far you're willing to push. I have to pull away though; I got addicted once and it made me a horrible person to be around.

In the year 2035, I can see myself digging through an old box of my stuff with a partner and a kid. We find my old TV series. My future Partner: WL, what the heck were you watching? Half of this stuff is in Portuguese or Japanese My kid: Daddy, what are these shiny boxes? Me ignoring my partner for our kid like usual : Well, son, those are Blue-Ray DVD for Daddy's TV series My Kid: Why didn't you just watch it online like everyone else? ----------------------------- Seriously that could be all of you too, the move towards streaming video has made DVDs/Blue-rays so anachronistic. At this rate, they'll become as old fashioned and comedy ready as Beta Trax and VHS. TV series are now available on Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix; plus all the major networks and cale companies offer apps for tablet/smartphone viewing. I just have a few TV series that I bought with money (I am not admitting anything illegal with that comment ) on blue ray and DVD, but I feel old: The 4400 (Before there was Heroes, there was The 4400) Babylon 5 (Best Sci-Fi Series) Battlestar Galactica (New Series, less "Mormon in Space" more "We're all Fracked!") Full Metal Alchemist (Best Anime Ever!) Junjou Romantica (Series 1 and 2, Say Yay! For gay anime!) House MD (For the man that likes subtle bromance) One Tree Hill (I'm that kind of guy, The OC could go to hell) Simpsons (Season 1-14, basically before they started sucking) The Civil War, narrated by Ken Burns (I'm classy too) West Wing Presidential Edition (What? I actually enjoy some episodes, sue me) I am not that bad in terms of TV shows, movies I am worse as a pack rat collector. Anyone want to bring their full TV series collections out of the closet Don't worry, we won't judge, much

Buffalo toasted the Colts, Rex has proven he's a coach at least

Episode 2: Blog review

Cynus' Ashes of Fate Episode 2 Plot Summary: We find our protagonist Tristan trapped in the Wer camp from last episode, until a mysterious boy named Jacob rescues him. He meets up with a ragtag band people, which include humans and Were-creatures alike. They board an aircraft and head to some unidentified hospital facility, where Tristan sees some hidden memories Review: Good stuff and bad stuff abound in Episode 2, The Good is that we get to see that the Wer are not the only one with tech or weapons. We also meet some interesting members of the Icarus Confederacy, a supposedly long defeated foe of the Wer Alliance. This story element balances out some of the questions I had in Episode 1. The Bad is that we are treated to a lot of characters, backstories, and histories that readers have to absorb in the 2nd chapter. Some of it works well, I like Jacob (who can either become a love interest or a friend to Tristan) and Peter (the Transsexual Weretiger, very clever use of LGBT allegory). Other things like Kurt and Faust's past histories bogs down your story line a bit. Also, introducing Ethan and the potential implication of Psi abilities into your universe was a bit rushed. Psi powers are more complicated if you start thinking about them, it's why science fiction writers sometimes consider the area as hybrid genre of Horror/Sci-fi. Don't feel bad Cynus, it was a good chapter, just too compacted with information. You've established a rudimentary setting and basic protagonist vs. antagonistic forces within your universe. Be proud of what you did, not what you overdid. I give this: :lugh: 1/2 out of 5

Cynus, I will review your 1st episode on my blog: Here's the link and I will link the 1st episode to my blog as well for reference Review on Blog

Alright, this is my first GA story review in a while, I have my own set of review structure that is slightly different than Renee's outline for GA, but not incompatible. Let's start with Cynus' Ashes of Fate Ashes of Fate Episode 1, Season 1 Plot Summary: We meet Tristan the protagonist of this story with a mild amnesiac episode at the beginning of the chapter, where he does not recognize who he is and where he is. The chapter unfolds with Tristan recalling his life and references his two brothers, Zach and Corban, who care for him. There's certain revelations that are made at the end of the story that shocks and surprises Tristan. Was everything in his life a lie? Review: Well, Cynus, I am quite pleased that some one else has taken up the mantle of doing a serial drama as I am preparing to do I also like the idea that you are writing about a post apocalyptic world with fantasy elements and an interesting build up of characters. As this is the 1st episode, there's a lot of world building that needs to be done. You'll need to make sure that as much as you build your world, it is logically tied into the way the world develops around the plot. One area that is making me a little curious is that if the Wer alliance had firearms, does that mean they have industrial capabilities? Why would they settle for peace with humanity if they could wipe us out with weapons technology that we could no longer have ourselves? I am assuming that the use of hatchets and bows/arrows are common weapons of the human rebels, which by in large are quite inferior in shots per econd potential to most standard rifles and semi-automatic weapons. There are ways to make this work out though, you could claim that the Wer alliance are merely scavenging our old weapons with access to military arsenals in the US and abroad. This would limit their ability to use weapons and maintain a semi-balance of power and not make them far too powerful. Also, you could use the old "fifth" column trick that writers of the genre have done before, basically have sympathizers among the Wer Alliance soldiers and civilian population, who want to grant peace versus the more aggressive elements of their society. Overall, it's a good start to a new story and I noticed that you have published episode 2 yesterday too, I am not sure how many episodes you are going to run, but it might be more advantageous to space out publication for readers over a long period of time to give them the opportunity to read all of your "episodes" for the 1st season. I am doing that too as part of my regular schedule that I posted earlier. My rating for the 1st Episode: :lugh: :lugh: out of 5

I envision this story to act almost like a TV series, when I launch it, I will publish Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 as my series "pilot" episodes. Each week, I will publish a new chapter at a exact time slot, Friday at 9PM EST, so readers will have time to read it. Here's the Publication Schedule as it stands for CBDT (Cyber Bullying Defense Team): Publishing Date Chapter # October 23rd 2015- 1+2 (Pilot) October 30th 2015- 3 November 6th 2015- 4 November 13th 2015- 5 November 20th 2015- 6 November 27th 2015- 7 December 4th 2015- 8 December 11th 2015- 9 December 18th 2015- 10 December 25th 2015- 11 January 1st 2016- 12 This will end the 1st half of book 1 of CBDT Publishing will stop between January 8th-January 29th, it will allow readers to give me feedback, make edits to new chapters I have in production, and allow me to read and answer reviws if there are any at that point The second half of book one will be released on February 5th 2016. Yes, I am pulling a Walking Dead on you guys, but I hope this will give readers time to think about the story and new readers time to enjoy it, so I don't overwork myself on writing and you guys won't get bored on reading.

Nice stories guys, I'll do a few review of them over the next few months

Haters We're the only Dynasty left in Sports, since LeBron can't commit to a team All this cheater crap is so BS, look at the Steelers game this week, we didn't even have anything to do with headsets, but Steelers' head coach, who actually "overheard" our coaches talk, threw a fit about cheating when he blew it due to bad defensive coordination. The national media owes us an apology

I've been arguing back and forth, even trying to offer some one else a chance at writing this story, but I have decided to finally take the plunge and write this new story. I had come up with the concept 3 years ago, but I kept shelving it until now. The plot of the story centers around a mass act of Coordinated Cyber Bullying attacks on Gay teens. LGBT leaders and advocates are unable to do anything to fight this new threat as ad campaigns, youtube videos, and marches prove ineffective. These ideas of public organizing and community building are hallmarks of the 20th century, but they are not the solutions to 21st century issues, where technology, people, and identity are in constant flux over a world wide network. I am postulating a new 21st century front in Gay rights that has not been discussed and for all I know may or may not have been opened. However, with the rise of extremes and the connectivity of social networks; we have seen the power that coordinated revolutions and terrorism can have on a people. Is it so hard to imagine that this same power can be turned against LGBT peoples or empower us to be better? I want to go into this new frontier with you, my readers, if you will have me. I am open to new ideas for the story and open discussion over the realities people face.

Good points everyone, I only started doing extra-long reviews recently and mostly for non-GA stories and movies, but I really hope more people do reviews and I am open to doing extra-long reviews for authors that have interesting stories right here. As for criticism, I leave that to my green friend (no, not Zombie! )

Hmm.. I guess I must be the international kid 1. The way he looks (Based off a really good Brazilian short film "I don't want to walk back alone")- Of course as I am a legally blind and gay, I am really bias 2. Happy together 1998- really interesting Asian LGBT movie about a co-dependent gay couple

Sometimes Tragedy makes us stronger people, Title: Three Voices Setting: Rural, Carterville, NC Plot Overview: A short tale about Trey Parker (Finding Family) finding love after his partner of 9 years, Brian Barnes, dies tragically of Cancer. We also get to meet Pat O'Connor, a Wildlife/Game Ranger, who finds himself raising his estranged 15 year old son, Marty, after his wife disown him due to him being gay. Pat has never been with another guy and Trey does not know if can ever love another guy like Brian, can these two form a new bond? Character/relationships: Trey Parker- He is around 31 at this story's start and quite tragic. I think as a character, I said he was not dynamic in Finding Family, but was well rounded. In this story, he is dynamic and touches on my heartstrings more for what is not said than what is said about his relationship with Brian Barnes. I think Jeff made the right move in not making him overly sexual in his prior story, a devoted lover that loses the love of his life is a very strong story element, but I can also tell by how short this story was that Jeff had more or less run out of steam. A pity that we never got to explore Trey Parker more as a character and as a gay man. Pat O'Connor- A robust and masculine character, who is the "late in life" archetype of gay characters. From being a Marine to being a Forest Ranger, I get that he is a structured and highly motivated man, who's family history prevented him from being able to explore his sexuality. His family is screwed up and his current situation with his teenage son is also complicated. Marty O"Connor- A gay teen trying to find his own way and gets into a fair amount of trouble. I think he is a good character, if slightly underdeveloped. He is the type of gay character that let's his dick do the thinking a little too often and it nearly got him raped. If Jeff had moved further with that story arc, I can see this character being a modern day reflection on gay teens with issues of bullying, partner abuse, and more, but only a glimmer of his true potential is shown here. Supporting Character: TJ Ladd and Donnie Micheaux- They're such a cute gay couple that breaks the stereotypes of race and love. Honestly, they're instrumental in helping both Trey and Pat in the story as supporting characters, but seeing how well functioning their family became after Finding Family makes me extremely happy. Micah Micheaux- Donnie's 2nd son from the failed marriage in Finding Family, who is gay and in this story Marty's boyfriend. He is used sparingly, which is a shame as I wish the relationship with Marty had grown in rather than added in for plot reasons. Grant Micheaux- Donnie's 1st son with his failed marriage, he's straight, but I really can't form much of an opinion around him. As straight characters go, he is not bad, but he is not great either. Jeff's success and failures in previous story probably held him back from exploring the brotherly dynamics of a straight black teen and his gay black brother more, but I think it would have been interesting (Oh well, Empire will do that for me ) BB aka Bruce- A big black football player with the heart of gold. As a straight character, I like him for what he did in minor supporting roles throughout the story, but felt Jeff could have made a nice character here as well if he had spent more time thinking about both straight and gay character development. A few old faces came by from prior stories, but the cameos were much shorter and fewer here Theme No more Age issues, so this is a straight up gay fiction story- Remembrance of what we lose- There's an emotional resonance that I get when reading this story, a sort of silent sleepy theme of love lost and found again. I think this type of storytelling is fine as a standalone piece, but what is missing to really make this emotional resonance something evocative for more effect is Trey and Brian needed more time to form their love with one another. I wish we had a longer open with Trey and Brian going through the rites of gay love, maybe even getting married in Boston (We legalized first!) Then, go into the heartache of Brian dying and Trey losing himself to despair, only to be supported by old friends like his uncle Parker and best friend TJ. Jeff missed a beat on the strength of melancholy and the determination of the human spirit, but what we did get was enough for a few tears. Maybe that was enough versus a river that have flowed from my eyelids. Finding our place- A question of "where do we belong?" is fundamental to gay fiction, something as writers we explore almost as much as our sexual identity "who we are?" I like this aspect of the story and it is shown very well throughout from Trey's tragedy to Marty's exile to Pat's acceptance of being in a relationship with Trey. Belonging is a powerful message.. Story Review: Alright, I have written several thousand words and read over 118 chapters in a matter of 2 weeks to get to this point. I wish there was more to read, I wish there was more to explore. As I said in Love of a Lifetime's review, I'd have been happy to read little Greg and Gary deal with issues as modern young gay men, which there are many even after gay marriage has been legalized. What we got is a little more unexpected and too short, sadly. Yes, Jeff touched on new areas, but he did not explore the door that was open. However, like the way Jeff started out with When Love Comes, he ended this with a short and concise concept. It's a book-ended piece that is imperfect and open to interpretation on where these character will eventually end up, but that's why readers enjoy novels too, we want to use our imaginations. Was the ending perfect, no, but it was a good ending. As for the elements, Jeff again had all the right things set up for a great story, but this time unlike Finding Family, he just stripped too much down. One of the problems with writers is that we lose creative steam over a long story. "Rescue" stories are notoriously plot heavy and take away our energies far faster than a lot of others, which is why there's a lot of rehashing of plots and stories after a while in some gay authors, Brew Maxwell might have been able to do it the best, but few others can repeat. Overall Jeff did a good job, he gave us functional characters, good plot development, and a central theme of "belonging" that made perfect sense. I give this story: 8.5/10 Overall series rating- 8.75/10 I know I have been harsh as a reviewer on some things, I am not a perfect writer either and I have a lot of problems, too. We gay writers don't get paid for these free stories, we don't always get praise or even criticism for exploring our fantasies with others. At times, we are left alone with our stories without a single reviewer, praise, or worthwhile email except a bunch of junk mail from a viagra re-seller. As readers, please remember that we need you guys to give us the emotional strength to continue our writing and storytelling. At other times, we make bad moves and no one will ever tell us due to sycophantic praises or fear of alienating us that might stop us from writing, but we need you as our readers to be our conscience as well. As Albert Camus said: Story Link: http://www.crvboy.org/stories/jeffallen/s008/c01.html

"Barks" at Andy "Sniffs" at Andy "Licks" at Andy He's clean guys

If you think I was gushing in the last story, this one will shock you on how critical I can be Title: Finding Family Setting: Rural/College, Carterville, NC and Adam State University Plot Overview: Parker Arnold is a high school History Teacher and soccer coach, who tries to help his students both as a mentor and also as a father figure. This story revolves around his life, his trials and tribulations, and his relationships with students. It is worth reading and understanding for the overall plots in the story. Character/relationships Jeff had probably fell into the "rescue" kid syndrome, when he was writing this story, I'll do my best to add important characters. Bishop "Parker" Arnold- He's a complex character and one that deserves a good deal of thought provoking questions. I do not know if he should be an ideal or a case scenario like Bill W.'s main character of Castaway Hotel. I understand why he polarized some readers and why he is also loved by so many. For modern gay readers, I know Sardusky's crimes are still a recent memory, but if you read past the first 10 chapters, you will realize that Parker is not that kind of character. He is self-conscious, which Jeff has always endowed in his primary father figure characters in all his stories. That's the part of gay characters that must always be remembered (and why I am so harsh towards Nifty's recent strings of authors), while sexual fantasies are great, your characters must have some doubt as to what they are doing. Characters are not toys or pawns on a chess board, they exist as real living people in your fictional worlds and should be treated with respect. His relationship with Karl Henson in my view was dynamic, maybe not as dynamic as Andy and CZ were, but they did develop a complex growth from teacher/student to equal partners in later chapters. Maybe Jeff pushed it on this story for a high school teacher to fall for his student, but in terms of story and character, it works. Now as for his "rescues", I've read Brew Maxwell enough to know how those work and I think Jeff's rescues were handled decently, but I felt it kind of detracted from the character more than helped him. Some of the rescue scenarios were good and poignant like Isaac South's rescue from a meth dealing/kid molesting father or the rescue of Bart from an overzealous Mormon family (Yeah, caricature characters, but that's what makes the genre fun, plus they're not that far from reality sadly). Other rescues by Parker felt tacked on, like Nacio, who was rarely mentioned again. A warning for all writers in this genre, don't over do it; there are good stories to tell involving rescuing gay teens, but don't feel like you need to keep doing it to maintain a quota. Karl Henson- He is an example of immature love with a mature gay man; the exact opposite of Andy and CZ. He will eventually become a better human being and someone Parker can honestly form a good relationship with, but at times, I felt like smacking him for being so stupid. However, as the story goes on, the character opens up new areas of issues for gay rights, which I find provocative, but also troubling. He joins West Point and becomes a military cadet, but faces betrayal and dishonor by the very people he wanted to serve and work with. Jeff was trying to expand his "Soapbox" into a political commentary here, I get that and appreciate the idea. I also like how the "trauma" figures into his reconciliation and re-establishment of love for Parker as an equal partner. He's also one of the most developed redemptive characters I've noticed in Jeff's stories TJ Ladd- I love this character as a gay teen and as a gay man, I think he really does become a well rounded character over time. He and his straight brother, Ryan, are examples of a well prepared "rescue" story arc (Though Ryan has other character issues, I will get into later). A mother abandoning her kids is not new to anyone, but I like how the tension grew between TJ and his mother and how evil she was. I also like how Parker took him into his home and protected him; though, I would have to be a little less sympathetic to the entire helping him out "sex" angle, earlier in the story before he moved in, but as I said, Parker, and Jeff himself, was conscious enough to put a stop to it as his story got into gear. Eventually TJ will end up with his best high school friend Donnie, a complex character I cannot help but praise. Donnie Micheaux- I think if for no other reason, this character is someone you should go into the story for. Jeff has a way with minority characters and African American characters are by far the most intriguing, especially if they are latent gay men. Donnie ended up married to a white woman, he got pregnant and had two sons. His life was miserable for a while, but Parker helped Donnie out by offerring him a loan to start his own auto business. Eventually, he realizes that he had always loved TJ, but he could never come to terms with his own sexuality. At a time, when black gay characters were fairly rare, Jeff took a good pot shot and created a very dynamic one. Trey Arnold- He is Parker's nephew, who becomes his ward after Parker's brother Deuce dies. I love this character, but I also wish he had more development with his relationship to Brian Barnes (From Love of a Lifetime). I think he is an interesting and well rounded person, but what he lacks is a strong dynamic push. The character lacks evolutionary development, but it's to be expected, when you don't have that much sex in Jeff's stories until the last three chapters Ryan Ladd- If Jeff ever reads this, I hope he doesn't think I am being harsh on him, but I really dislike this character. I think Jeff handled his straight characters well in Love of a Lifetime, especially Justin Barnes who I'd consider straight and "curious", but Ryan was far too overly sentimental and at various points, I just couldn't believe he was completely heterosexual (Justin at least had a reason for his underlying bi-curiosity and in certain ways he was a good "temptation" character for "CZ" that actually worked well). Maybe the key problem with this character versus Justin Barnes was that he needed to be protected constantly in the story whereas Justin was the protector. Also, unlike Justin, he lacked character development in his heterosexual relations other than a few mentions of the stud on campus I understand what Jeff wanted to do in inverting his characters, but I just don't feel it worked from my view. Supporting Characters Robert Marquez- Ex Pro-NBA Hispanic player for the Chicago Bulls, who is secretly a gay man. I like that Jeff attempted to add a little more depth into his story by re-introducing the prospects of a retired gay athlete, but his story seemed underdeveloped at the end, serving merely as "temptation" for Parker to get over Karl's betrayal. I like the idea and the racial diversity that it brought, but Donnie Micheaux was a far better character in this story for that purpose. Tyronne- Robert's son, who dated Isaac for a while and ended up in a fling of wild sex with other partners. I don't know if Jeff was trying to point out inherent flaws with promiscuity or if the character was deeply flawed due to his wealth and upbringing. There was no real evolution to this character either, so just like his father, another untapped potential. Memorable Rescues Isaac South- If anyone remember Justin Davis from Brew Maxwell's Foley Mashburn Saga, Isaac could be his non-related cousin Honestly, I love the story line and the slow build up in intensity for this rescue. It felt right and it matched up with the deeply rooted Meth production issues in the South at the time, not to mention the child sex trafficking. Jeff would use this character along with a few others in his side story "Construction Job", which is a decent read, too. Brandon Harris- An interesting scenario, he was not being trapped by abusive parents at least currently, but he was being held captive by his own fears and memories. An ex-Army veteran, who lost his lover in Iraq, resonates with modern gay audiences even now as we are reeling from that war to this day. I am glad he found a partner in Josh. Bart Harris- A cross-Continental rescue worthy of another series from this era, all it's missing is a transporter and some phasers Beyond that, Bart Harris is an interesting character, he's Brandon's little brother and a gay kid in fear of his life due to the Mormon religion. Through the effort of Parker's friends Robert, he was rescued from "evil" Salt Lake, Utah to Carterville, NC. Highly implausible, but it is a great story arc that shows how far Jeff could stretch himself. He hooks up with Isaac south as his partner. Johnathan/Wes- Twins separated at birth, Jeff don't go to Soap opera territory...wait they're also a couple Yes, it's really implausible and complex in a not so good way. I think the couple is memorable though and I do love the idea of twincest , but this couple also showed that Jeff really got sidelined by the shift in story genres during this period of gay fiction. I like them for all the wrong reasons, which as a reader is both good and bad. Josh- Hmm...I don't know, he's memorable because of all the plot that surrounds him, but the character is two dimensional. Again, I like the rescue genre, but some characters need more focus and Josh definitely was one of them. Jeff could have explored Josh's determination to find his mother's killer, by extension, add some conflict into this story, but Josh's character was under-utilized despite a lot of plot developments like his relationship to Brandon, his protection by Parker due to fears about his life, and a potential danger to the other gay kids in Parker's care. I think Josh should have been Jeff's gravitas to final chapters, but he was not. Finally, everyone else, we got cameos from When Love Comes and Love of a Lifetime, including the Barnes Brothers Brian was the only one really highlighted, briefly, but his evolution from gay boyfriend swapper to lover was a nice touch that launched us into "Three Voices", could have been stronger, but it was a nice addition. Theme Teacher-Student Relationships- Jeff took this one on again, but this time, he did it in high school. I will grant that it was consensual and it was hot. I also think Jeff's detractors got him wrong here, the immaturity of many characters made it hard for any of them to establish real partnerships in this story, which is realistic to life. It is only when they face life altering situation like Karl at West Point that they actually begin to understand how love is created. This was actually a well written area of the story. Rescues- Ugh, I have already said a lot at the top, but I will just repeat that extraneous rescues hurt a story, not improve it. While it might have pleased a fan base that hungered for those kinds of stories, you must balance the demands of plot with it. Jeff experimented with this style of writing, it was fun and memorable for a few cases, but some of them just caused problems with the plot and character development. Family- I've read a lot of gay family stories and helped write a few, too. Jeff did a good job here, he made perfect use of diverse characters and their backgrounds for the development of an ensemble cast. However, the issue of the continuous and gratuitous rescues made it hard to focus on any pre-established characters. What was worst was the lack of development meant we had stunted characters like Ryan Ladd running around. Jeff tried to make corrective writing moves on it and I can tell he was trying to balance his demands with his plot, which in the end at least got the family together. This part of the story is what can be considered an idealistic fantasy that every gay kid in the world could join into a family that accepts them and protects them. The sex is appealing with your "brothers" who may be partners eventually, but it's the heart that counts. Is this a good idea for modern audiences? I don't know, it appears to be a little too haphazard legally, too perfect for a story plot, and too implausible for acceptance. If I remove the extraneous issues from the rescue stories though and the potential psychological attachment problems, I think Jeff actually did the right thing here with family development if he had focused soley on that aspect. Story Review: After reading what I wrote, I think most people would understand why I felt this story was the weakest in the 4 I am reviewing. Don't get me wrong, I like the things Jeff attempted here and he succeeded in a lot of areas, but in terms of plot and structure, he lost a lot of steam from Love of a Lifetime. I still like what he wrote and what the story ultimately comes down to. A cardinal rule few writers observe, I do it too, is that stories need to be planned in your head before you write. A stream of consciousness story is fine, but structured fiction needs preparation. At various points in the story, I felt Jeff rushed or could not focus on where needed to be and left things hanging. No amount of sex or wild rescue scenarios will make a difference after a long period of time. Jeff's stories were classic, because he brought the characters out as human beings, not 2-d cut outs. His first two stories were amazing and prescient, but I fear Jeff nearly derailed his own story with excess. It's also why I think his next stories were so short and focused. It's too bad too, Jeff had a good baseline for a story, a controversial reversal of his earlier elements, and a potentially death defying plot line if he pushed it. I hope if he writes again, he will try to write a long story and focus on the plots that bind everyone together. I also want to note that around this time Bill W.'s Castaway Hotel began to come out on Nifty and several other stories of similar style appeared. Gay readers were clamoring for this, so I don't think Jeff knew how uneven his story became. I still like this, but it is a far cry from his earlier work. I give this: 7.5/10 Sad, I know he can do better and part of the blame belongs to readers like me Tomorrow will be my final review in the series, it is a tearjerker, but at least, I think Jeff was back to form Story Link: http://www.crvboy.org/stories/jeffallen/s005/c01.html

Thanks guys, Now I will need to figure out who I should review next?

Didn't know him too well, but he seemed like a nice guy overall. We all have our quirks and sometimes come off badly to different people, it smooths out over time. Will miss him,

I've just prepared my last future blog entry for 9/9/15 on Jeff Allen's Carterville-Adam State series of stories, so with that done, I am wondering if I should keep doing this? I've written only positive reviews so far for Jeff's stories that you have seen, my next review tomorrow morning will be more negative on "Finding Family" and then I did a wrap up with "Three Voices", which would be more quiet and somber for Wednesday Morning. I don't know how many other gay authors want me to analyze their stories or write massive and elaborate literary critiques. No one else is doing it, no one else is presenting themselves with the challenge of trying to identify themes within our stories or identify eras where certain story types were more popular, why do I need to? I have doubts on how far I want to take my reviewing and how far I want to go with judging other people's work when my own is far worse in comparison, because I am far too cerebral. What do you guys think, should I keep going? Also, what story should I go next?

It's getting hot in here for Part 2: Title: Love of a Lifetime Setting: Rural/College, Carterville North Carolina and Fictional Adam State University Plot Overview: Andy Hatcher is a 26 year old banker, who just moved into Carterville, North Carolina after a messy divorce. He finds himself falling in love with 17 year old C.Z Johnstone, a 17 year old boy, who delivers his newspaper and has a really hard life. While Andy does not at first know he is gay, CZ had known for a long time, but he could never fully explore his sexuality due to his family obligations with his sick mother. The story follows Andy and CZ's love through encounter to break-up to reconciliation and beyond. CZ will eventually go onto college and he'll meet a bunch of friends and have a lot of new issues. Be warned, this story is my favorite of the 4, despite its controversial issues. Character/relationships: Andy Hatcher- he's like Doc (Dr. Griffith from "When Love Comes") in terms of character dimensions. He's young, professional, and talented, but unlike Doc, he lacks the acceptance or understanding of his sexuality. When he does go past his initial reluctance to form a relationship with a much younger CZ Johnstone, we get a very dynamic and evolving character. I like Andy a lot, because I can relate to him as a gay professional in finance and his need to "prove" himself. This quality about Andy would also lead to problems with his relationship later on with CZ, which rings extremely true for a lot of us gay guys who are career minded and sometimes we forget about our partners' needs too. Definitely a character that I remembered well. CZ Johnstone- Damn it, I can't help but love this southern belle of a character He is Scarlet O'Hara with jeans and a nice bulge. While not an "abused kid" or one of the traditional kinds of partners that you will see in many modern gay fictions, he does have a rough past. When his mother was dying from Cancer, he worked three odd jobs and still grew Christmas Trees to maintain his family and pay his mother's medical bill (Okay, fine, Obamacare would help him if it existed in 2002, happy now guys, I concede that point ). I really love this characters' work ethic and personality. Also, when he gets into a relationship with Andy, he is extremely mature about Andy's work life and his needs versus just sex. Jeff scored a big breakout character for me, which I wish could have been repeated more often in Gay fiction afterward. When he goes to College, he doesn't just sit back and play the loyal boyfriend card, he explores and messes around with other guys. He's a human being with needs too and I just can't get over how much his character develops and becomes some one I wish I could even have 10% attributes. GA writers take note, this is a character you need to know how to create, a full 4-D characters that is both strong willed and evolving over time. Even masterful storytellers don't make gay characters like him, nowadays. Adam State Characters Justin Barnes- Why must he be straight! Honestly, Jeff made a great character here, I appreciate the idea of creating a strong advocate for gays, who is not gay. Another reason why I like this story is that Justin, while he is straight, is not afraid of trying things with CZ up to a point. When writing heterosexual characters, Jeff included, there's a certain limit that must be held in interactions before you question their sexuality as well. Jeff nailed it here with Justin and gives readers a character worth investing time to know and even accept as a friend. Beyond that, you can really see the protective quality of this character during the college era of CZ Johnstone at Adam State. He will eventually become CZ's college roommate and introduce his gay and bisexual brothers, Brian and David Barnes who will play roles later on in smaller story arcs with Brian being a catalyst character for both "Finding Family" and "Three Voices". Jason Sherman- CZ's first roommate and closeted gay character. Interesting and a bit derivative, but he did add to the over-arc of the 1st year in college for CZ and Justin's story. I distinctly remember his story had more meat at one point prior to the edits, but as it stands, he is good character for what he represents, a young man trying to become a gay man who falls at points but has redemptive qualities. He will be the roommate of the main antagonist of the story Brad Miller and I think Jeff consciously wanted him to serve the role of foil on how a closeted gay man versus an evolving gay man can turn out. Brad Miller- Damn, his story arc is messed up on so many levels. At some points, I want to see him dead, at others, I want to see him gang raped in the worst possible way. Then at the end, I feel so bad for him that I just wish he finds peace wherever his soul ends up. Jeff did a great job on Brad, he represents the darkest realities that gay men can go down in the end of a long struggle. Think Dahmer and Gacey, while we can hate what he does in the story, we can't help but understand that his pain and rejection could happen to a lot of us. Jeff played with darkness and he made a good antagonist in this story. Supporting Characters: . Doc- Gary Griffith is now the old man on campus with his partner Matt, which is kind of cute in a respectable and linear way. He acts as guidance and level headed adviser to CZ and other characters in this story. Matt Stevenson- He shows up on occasion as Doc's back up, but his story is mostly done and his brother Mark is only lightly mentioned as well. Still, he played a supporting role. Kathy and Kevin Williams- The most open minded liberal couple in the south is back in this story I got to say, these people make me wish that the world really did work that way and there were good people like this everywhere, who were fair to everyone. David Barnes- Interesting to find a bisexual character in a story, who is trying to figure himself out and I can feel his plight when measuring himself against his heterosexual and homosexual brothers. It's interesting to wonder who you belong with, if you can play an entire field that neither side completely understands you. CZ will mess around with him in the story and help him figure out his bisexual leanings. Brian Barnes- Small, but sexy role in the story as both a sexual partner for a bunch of people. He is the slutty character that you just can't hate, because let's be honest we all want to be like Brian: young, libido driven, and uninhibited. Greg Hatcher and Gary Williams- That little baby boy in "When Love Comes" has grown up into a little 9 year old, who basically grows an attachment to his friend Greg Hatcher, Andy's son from his failed marriage. Be on the watch guys, if Jeff ever comes back to this series, I would think these two little boys would probably be featured as the main protagonists, dealing with modern issues of gay life like their parents and friends a decade before. We have new challenges and kids growing up in the 2000's are going to need a new reflection. There's a lot of one off characters: who play minor roles as romantic partners, as well Themes Character Evolution- Andy and CZ will remain my favorite developed characters, they're complex, but in many ways, it just boils down to love for them. Brad Miller is another character, who evolves before our eyes in a much more negative fashion, which Jeff does extremely well. If you want to see Character development from both a positive approach and negative, I highly recommend this story to everyone. Maturity and Sex- Oh boy, legally, Jeff 's character were probably in deep shit, but on a more aesthetic level, I actually approve of this kind of relationship. If this was just a 26 year old guy perving on a 17 year old boy, I'd cry foul, but it wasn't. CZ Johnstone was in love with Andy and Andy loved CZ, both were mature enough to make that choice. Jeff took a page out of QAF (Queer as folk), which I tend to agree with. America tends to be far less tolerant of age of consent below 18 for sexual activity, especially against gay males, but European age range is usually 16 or in some nations 14. It's highly debatable, but I think as the story evolved, CZ showed us he was fully committed to Andy just as Andy was to him. Also, both were mature enough to know that they should also be outside their relationship and test out their feelings for other people. What I loved about this story is that neither character cheated on each other, but they both did slept around with their partners' acknowledgment as a way to have sexual release when they were apart. That part of the story makes this more controversial as well, because we've been taught as gay men to restrict our partners after the breakout of AIDS. Jeff took a huge step forward and raised tough questions about partners and relationships, both for the age aspect and the sexual partners. Family- This theme will be featured really prominently in my next review, but it starts here. Even if the story doesn't use the most natural rescue themes, it does have one other tenet of Gay fiction in the 2000's, a strong unified family. When I say family, I don't mean the American "nuclear" family, I mean a group of characters/people who we surround ourselves with and who loves us unconditionally. Story Review: This story is my favorite, so I am bias on it. I remember an old friend on GA a long time ago telling me, "Jeff Allen had a really good story, up until he started writing like NAMBLA". Was he right? No, but I can see why he thought that way and I also can see problems with how far Jeff was stretching things into his next story "Finding Family", which most readers at that time actually loved more than this story. The story touches on love without boundaries or restraint, which I think is what Gay fiction should be about. We forget that only a few decades ago, stuff like this was considered illegal to read. Hell, half of GA's own author's would be indictable for graphic storytelling. I don't approve of pedophilia, but I am not so conservative as a storyteller to believe in a set age where things happen. It doesn't in real life and it doesn't in fiction, we only set up laws like that because we need boundaries to regulate behavior for the majority, but in minority cases, it is permissible and right..That's my interpretation of Justice and law, I will let that point rest until we get into "Finding Family" where it becomes more problematic. Beyond that point, CZ Johnstone as I said up at the top is one of the most dynamic gay characters in written online literature and no one really pays him much respect. He is strong willed, independent, and an evolving character that faced major issues, but survived and thrived. However, he doesn't have the background of abuse, homophobia, or other negative character backstories that you might expect from gay writers. When thinking of characters that resemble him, I can't find any that has his multi-faceted nature. There are a lot of close ones, but they only have one part of his character and fall through with negative background propelling them forward. I make the same mistakes too, I use negative backgrounds on my gay characters to give them drive, but I feel like that part of me has to end as we enter a new era of gay fiction. Finally, Character development was top notch in this story. From Andy and CZ's relationship to Justin Barnes' friendship to the destructive Brad Miller, we saw a gamut of real life expressions. A gay fiction story that has that kind of characterization and a lot of good hot sex is hard to come by. I would argue that thematically and plot-wise, Jeff hit his greatest storytelling peak here. He did everything right on the characters, he included development of complex issues, mastered a balance of Heterosexual representation with Homosexual affiliation, and he displayed a lot of common issues gay college kids faced if they were openly gay. I give this story: 10/10 Perfection is hard to improve on (PS: Next part will be Finding Family and a lot less rosy from me) Story Link: http://www.crvboy.org/stories/jeffallen/s002/c01.html