Cynical Romantic

One thing I've found over the years with interviews is that they are two-way deals. That is, it's as much of a chance for you to interview them as for them to interview you. And you can tell a lot about a company or a work environment from the type of interview they conduct. I, for one, have no interest in working anyplace that would make me jump through so many hoops for the interview. I prefer smaller, more informal work environments, and the best jobs I've had have been the ones where I've just "clicked" with the people interviewing me. Of course, that's typical for my field, and it may not be for yours. But it can help your confidence if you figure that the interview process is as much for you as it is for them, and you have a right to reject them, too. After all, life's way too short to spend most of your waking hours at a job you hate.

As a few others have mentioned, the double-cheek kiss is the most common greeting here in Montreal, at least between a man and a woman, or two women. (Not so often between two men). It's pretty much the equivalent of a handshake, so yeah, I do it all the time. It doesn't mean anything other than a greeting, and is the usual practice among business acquaintances as well as friends. Actually, it leads to some awkward situations sometimes when I travel for business and I forget I'm supposed to shake hands, instead. *lol* With close friends, I'll usually hug as well as kiss on the cheek, because, as I mentioned, the double-cheek kiss is kind of perfunctory; a hug indicates affection.

Indeed great news! Glad to hear it went so well. But you never mentioned, when you told her, did she already know?

Nah. If you'd asked him out despite not being interested, that would've been mean. But a little innocent flirting doesn't make you a jerk. It just makes you... someone who likes to keep your skills sharp. (Take it from a woman; we do that kind of thing all the time... )

Hey, I was in most of those places a couple of years ago. That itinerary brings back some good memories. Sounds like it was an awesome trip!

Hi Sue, Welcome! You may be surprised to see how many of us women there are around here, so I suspect you'll fit right in. My suggestions for good reads are too many to list, but you can't go wrong with anything written by DomLuka or Duncan Ryder.

Oh my... between that and the title of this story, dare I suggest... spoiler? Okay, truth time: I'm sure to get some hateful reactions for this one, but I'm going to suggest that it might've worked better in LTMP if Helen hadn't come through. I'm not usually one for killing off sympathetic characters, mind you, and I like Helen, but in this case, I can make two arguments for it: 1) It would fit with the character growth that all the main characters show. Symbolically, Helen as their mother figure needs to step aside (so to speak) in order to allow the boys to grow up. 2) I think it would've rung a little truer... you basically set it up so that everyone assumed Helen was dead, and when it turned out she was fine, it came across as a bit too happily-ever-after, not very realistic. Okay, I know you were going for the happy ending, but I just didn't buy it for whatever reason that she'd make it through almost perfectly unharmed. (Mind you, maybe I shouldn't talk about suspension of disbelief in a story about nuclear weapons being manufactured in Queensland...) Anyway, the point's moot, it's ancient history now, and I'm sure it will be useful having Helen as a character in Changing Lanes. Especially when she tries to de-tequila the Eric.

Heh, thanks. But less bowing down, more writing from you, eh? You've been leaving Cody hanging in the abyss between chapters 7 and 8 for far too long for my liking. (And yes, even 5 minutes is too long, IMHO). One more observation about guys like Eric: When love strikes, it strikes hard... and usually without warning. Mostly cause it's so unexpected. And when that happens, look out!

Eric has really taken on a life of his own, hasn't he? I mean, he started off as just one of the brothers, the middle brother. He and Jon were the straight ones, Chase was the love interest, and Brandon was the main character. Eric could have easily been just an "also starring". But, as characters will sometimes do, I have a sneaking suspicion that Eric crept up and constantly pestered CJ to give him a bigger role, a louder voice, more action. He just refused to shut up, and he absolutely demanded a starring role, stealing the show in the process so that now, he's basically the main character of this series. He's just one of those magnetic, larger-than-life, effervescent characters, maybe a bit over-the-top, but a lot like people we all have known at some point. He just has this energy to him, like a tornado, and when he gets going, all you can do is get out of the way... or watch. What's his sexuality? I think that's incidental at this point. I like the "tri-sexual" description - he does seem like the type who will "tri" anything - but that's almost irrelevant. Eric's real lust isn't for women, or for men, or for anyone in particular, it's for life. Eric is like a starving man at a giant buffet. He will attack it with vengeance and glee, sampling everything and often more than once. Even if he might prefer the chocolate cake to the onion soup, he just basically loves food. In much the same way, I think Eric just loves experiencing things, feeling things, taking risks, feeling the rush that comes from danger, or lust, or getting a little crazy... or drinking tequila. He's basically Chase's opposite as far as that goes, and I don't mean a gay/straight kind of opposite. What I mean is, Chase is the kind of guy for whom love is real, and deep, and directed at one person at a time. Chase feels complete with Brandon. But Eric is just looking for the next crazy thing to do in his life. If Chase is an inch wide and a mile deep, then Eric is maybe a mile wide and an inch deep, and I don't really mean that as a negative. He's just... in love with everything life has to offer, and he allows that love to manifest itself as exuberance, and to rub off on those around him. Just my $0.02.

A motorcycle??? You just had to get him on a motorcycle, didn't ya? Okay, that's it. I'm declaring both CJ and Shadowgod equals in evil-dom, and all I can say is that if you so much as break Eric's big toe, there will be HELL to pay!

Something tells me that we're going to see Who, me make predictions? No way!

I'll probably never "get" American football either. I do have a relative liking for the other kind (that's "soccer" to us North Americans). But hockey will always be the ultimate sport. Everything else pales in comparison. Admittedly it's a bit further down on the eye candy scale, mostly cause of the preponderance of mullets, broken noses and missing front teeth among players, but there are still some nice ones worth watching. Still, I've never been one of those girls who can watch hockey just for the players. I'm a hard-core fan of the sport, and anyone who disagrees with me will probably end up with their sweater over their head and a few choice punches. (Just kidding!) Okay, enough hijacking...

Hmmm... guilty. Sort of. I don't technically write those commercials, but I do help them come to be. But those of us who work in the ad biz aren't all bad people, you know. Some of us even feign being human from time to time!

Aha, finally a topic about my most intense passion: Travel! I've been lucky enough to have done a fair bit of traveling in my life. My backpack and I have been around the world a couple of times over, and I can tell you with some assurance that wanderlust is something that only gets stronger over time. I'm Canadian and have seen a fair bit of North America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Central America, Southeast Asia, and I've touched bits of the Middle East (namely, Israel). Of course, it still feels like I've barely scratched the surface. That said, of places I've yet to see, high up on my list at the moment are Japan (trip planned for this fall), the southern part of South America (next year, hopefully), the trans-Siberian/trans-Mongolian route from Russia to China (one day...) and East Africa (also one day...). Just to name a few, that is. Really, there's almost nowhere that I don't want to go (okay, maybe Detroit...) and I'll take any opportunity. Time and money always seem to be in too short a supply.

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Musicians: Jimi Hendrix Janis Joplin Jim Morrison Buddy Holly Richie Valens Kurt Cobain Aaliyah Selena Layne Staley Shannon Hoon Tupac Actors: James Dean River Phoenix Brandon Lee Brad Renfro Jonathan Brandis Chris Farley John Belushi John Ritter Those are just off the top of my head. I'm sure there are more obvious ones I'm missing.

Oh, HELL no. Nobody'd want to read about my boring life, anyway. That's why they read fiction; the lives of my characters are always much more interesting. Okay, that's not entirely true. Most of what I write is based on reality to an extent - familiar places, events and people that I've met at some point. I'm sure I infuse my voice or my opinions or my perspectives into an awful lot of my characters in small ways (some not so small). But I've never published a story that's been about "me" specifically. Have I written any? Yeah, sure. But not for public consumption. It's like one step up from keeping a journal - writing a story about real-life accounts in an honest fashion in order to sort through feelings about things. Those are private, though. Even if I was brave enough to share my own stories, the fact that they always involve the people around me means I'd never put them on display.

Would now be a good time to admit that I actually *hate* Picasso... especially the "three year old" paintings?

I knew it was only a matter of time before someone started bringing up Immanuel Kant... ROFL! Hmmm, now that's easily the most noteworthy proposal I've ever received! I hope I don't break your heart by saying I just don't see myself going there, sorry! On the other hand, I've always had a thing for writers... Hmmmmm... If your point is that clich

One additional point: You may think this is a debate between "just staying friends" and "trying for more". But the truth is, that decision has already been made for you, in a way. If you have feelings for him as more than a friend, you can't just tell yourself to ignore them. He's already different to you in your mind, and even if you decide not to act on those feelings or to tell him about them, you will probably feel and act differently towards him as a result of how you feel. So the friendship is going to change, anyway. Your main question should be, do you open up to him and risk everything for a chance at happiness? Or do you suffer in silence? None of us can tell you what to do, but just realize that nothing in life ever stays the same. Relationships and friendships are constantly evolving, and here's hoping you will be able to evolve together.

Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. It's scary to risk a friendship to find out if it could be more. On the one hand, the best relationships often start off as friendships, and you two may very well be able to find something really special and enduring. On the other hand, if things go sour, you not only lose your lover, you lose your best friend. Nathan may have feelings for you, too, but is probably scared of the latter possibility. He obviously values the friendship that you two have, and doesn't want to take a chance at screwing it up. I know that concerns you, too. But sometimes you have to take a leap of faith when it comes to love. You can't have the good unless you risk the bad, too. Good luck!

I found the "Jump the Shark" list a little while ago and thought it was brilliant; he pretty much nailed all the wince-worthy clich

Actually it's everywhere in Canada, it's been federal law since 2005. It was already legal in most of the provinces before that, though. Anyway, good luck. Sounds to me like your sister already knows, and your parents sound like the type who will love and support you no matter what. All the best!

Re-reading what I posted, I think I should clarify, actually. People are only ever responsible for their own actions. But there are certain types of actions that lead to worse actions on the part of others, and that makes the original actions worse by extension. For instance: Someone who gives a hateful, fiery speech against a certain ethnic group, after which a bunch of people who were in attendance go out and beat up people of said ethnic group. The person who gave the speech was not responsible for the consequence action (the beating) but he was responsible for the act of delivering the speech in the first place, an act made worse by its intent and his awareness of its likely consequences. Kevin's example is another good one. If he yells "hit me" repeatedly, he's not responsible for the punch that gets thrown at him, but he is responsible for the act of goading the other person. That's a separate act, and one that he is solely responsible for. And each act, of course, must be judged on its motivation, its inherent action, and its consequences. Basically I'm talking about the domino effect here, but it's a tricky thing, because people always try to shift the blame onto others for their own actions. There's a fine line between "he provoked me" and "he made me do it".

Maybe jumping into this one a little late... but it's something I have a bit of experience with myself, so I figured I'd ring in. I've fallen for two people I considered to be good/best friends at the time, and I have many friends - gay and straight - who have as well. I think it's probably really common. Agree with others - it happens a lot, because we tend to want a lot of the same things from love as from friendship. Minus the sex, usually (though there are exceptions there too). But most people are attracted to similar qualities in friends and lovers - good conversation, shared interests, trust, that feeling of being around someone who "gets" you and understands you and makes you happy to just be with. So yeah, I think it's not much of a stretch at all to get from friendship to love. Also, just by being around someone as often as you tend to be around your best friend, the feelings of being comfortable together and sharing experiences can just naturally develop. From what I've seen, maybe that's true, just because when we're young, we're more liable to have best friends who are the same gender as us. But it can certainly happen to straight people with best friends of the opposite sex too - trust me on this one. And this may be a bad stereotype but from my experience, I think it's probably more common for girls to fall for their best friends - male or female. The bad stereotype is, of course, the notion that women are more attracted to inner qualities and less to the exterior package as it were. I can't say that's true of all women, or that men are all shallow, because I definitely know a lot of exceptions to those rules. But as with most stereotypes, there is some truth to it. Yes. *Sigh*. I have a really bad habit of it actually. The first guy I ever fell in love with was my best friend for over two years before it turned into more. A couple of years later, I did it again and fell for another guy who was a good friend first. Actually I think it's a bit of an annoying pattern with me; I tend to need to be "friends first" before I really fall for a guy. Pretty much for the reasons already listed. You love someone as a friend for a lot of the same reasons that you fall in love. You have things in common, you get one another, you like each other's company, you're on the same wavelength, etc. My track record isn't too good, unfortunately. Good while it lasts - great actually - but then when you break up, you lose the love and the friendship. Double-whammy. But I still have this romantic notion that the guy I eventually end up with will be my both best friend and my lover. I've seen it work out with other couples, gay and straight, so I figure it's possible. But it's a big risk, because sometimes losing the friendship is harder than losing the relationship, after things go sour. Overall I'd say it's a big risk. Then again, life's a risk. So is love. You never know until you try, right?