Cynical Romantic

I know I probably should have gone back and re-read from Chapter 1 onward, to have the whole story fresh in my mind before reading this new chapter. But I didn't. I admit that, after waiting not so patiently for this chapter, I just couldn't wait another moment and jumped straight to it. And it did *not* disappoint! Jake's parents sound a little bit like mine. Father with a short fuse but gets over things quickly and is ready to talk faster after losing his shit. Mother who goes all scary-silent and holds grudges for weeks on end. Gives me some flashbacks to when I was growing up, that's for sure. I think I preferred my father's method; at least it didn't drag on, and we could have epic screaming battles and then be fine five minutes later. I hope that Jake, terrified as he was of his dad's reaction, finds him similarly quick to get over things and move on. And I worry that he'll have a longer battle ahead with his mom. But I'm optimistic. His parents seem like good people, not like monsters. They seem like the type who will love him unconditionally. They seem like they'll be okay. And awww... on Jake learning how to let Shane comfort him. (I feel like Jake is a toddler taking his first tentative baby steps here... "he's walking! he's walking!") I could say so much here... I want to say so much... but mostly I'm just glad that to see the new chapter at long last, and that it looks like the story will end after all.

Just heard an update from the author - there were some delays but new chapters should be on their way soon. (This is a PSA).

Hi everyone! I have been MIA lately precisely due to the ... NHL playoffs. Been spending all my time in pubs and watching games with friends and such. Now that my Habs are (heartbreakingly) out of things, I figured I'd check in and say hello to everyone. So I missed my chance to make picks in the pool... that's okay, though, because I won last year and I figure it's only fair for the title to go to someone else. Anyway, I'm so very proud of how the bleu-blanc-rouge played this year. Halak, Cammalleri, Subban and the rest of the boys did good. Philly v. Chicago for Stanley - I'm kinda hoping for Chi-town (gotta hate those broad street bullies) but on the other hand, the schadenfreude part of me wants to see Hossa lose for a third straight year in the finals. What will happen, with Chicago having all the strength and Philly having all the momentum? To be seen, I suppose.

Full month since the last chapter. Duncan, am I allowed to start whining yet?

Just wanted to say that I'm glad to see Crosscurrents is being updated again. I'd nearly given up hope. (Not really. I knew you were busy writing Sam's story. It just feels like that sometimes.) Looking forward to the new chapters, and I plan to take advantage of the newly-posted old chapters in the meantime to do a re-read.

I loved this chapter, because it showed so much character development. (Spoilers ahead...) Matt, I have to wonder about his deep shame and self-hatred for his so-called past. I mean, sure, maybe he's not exactly proud of the fact that he slept with a lot of guys and used them. But it's not as though he's a homicidal maniac, either. A little promiscuity, especially for a guy his age, isn't exactly the horrible sin that he seems to feel it is. What made Matt break so much, I wonder? What made him so deeply ashamed and self-loathing, instead of just laughing off his college wild times like most people do as they get older and start to settle down? I sense there was some kind of defining, earth-shattering event that Matt isn't talking about, and I really have to wonder what it is. Luc, well, I like that Luc is starting to look beyond himself and notice what's going on with everyone else. That's the first step to healing, being less caught up in your own personal issues and more concerned with those of the people around you. When Luc starts rescuing Matt from a situation he senses but doesn't fully understand, and then reassures him that he trusts him, I think that's not only helpful to Matt, but to Luc himself. For the first time, despite the way he's still haunted by nightmares, I really do believe that maybe he won't attempt suicide again. Maybe he's on the path to recovery. And Josh. Josh, Josh, Josh. Probably the most wounded of all. Having him say out loud that he was raped... was that maybe the first time he admitted it to himself? I know it's been years, but the healing path is long for him. Scott was so great with him right then, when he needed him to be. And Josh has maybe turned a corner here, starting to see things more clearly and see how he might have to face what was head-on in order to finally be free of it. I hope he can. I always knew he hadn't come to terms with his dealings with Graham. I just hate to see him blame himself; Matt didn't escape because he was stronger, Matt escaped because Graham had decided to target Josh. It wasn't Josh's fault. I just hope he can learn to believe that. This story continues to amaze me, and I keep waiting for every new chapter. I love your writing. It's incredibly beautiful and poignant. And I think I'm a little in love with all four of these boys now. I hope they've turned the corner here.

Woot! Great news. I will be checking back often for updates.

I think I want to cry! That was just so beautiful. So warm. Duncan, there's just something about everything you write that - fact or fiction - always makes me feel like you're sharing a piece of yourself. A piece of your soul. Every story is a gift. I don't know how you do it, but it never fails to get to me. And this one reads like a real mother's day gift. A true ode to the love between a mother and a son. You can feel that at every step, Matthew is not at all sorry about who he is or who he loves, he's just sorry about the thought of hurting his mother, who he obviously cares for so much. Why is it so often that the greatest sin we ever commit is not giving those we love enough credit?

Don't get me wrong, we have summer too, and it does get hot here. Maybe not Adelaide-hot, but it gets humid and sticky and climbs over the 30-degree mark regularly. But if you have no experience at all with cold winters, don't underestimate them. I have friends who have come here from Australia with their "winter clothes" and, upon arriving here, chucked them all out, shaking their heads at how naive they were. I haven't been to Bondi beach but I've been to St. Kilda in Melbourne and to Manly in Sydney. And yes, I've been up to Mission Beach and the Whitsundays - it was just after Cyclone Larry, though, back in '06, so the area around Mission Beach was pretty much a mess. Went sailing in the Whitsundays, got absolutely massacred by mosquitoes and got sick and it rained the whole time and I probably had an experience similar to your Melbourne one (i.e. clouded opinion). I was in the Sunshine Coast area for a bit (Noosa, etc.) and that was awesome. Agree in general that the beaches in Queensland are superior to those in NSW, from what I've seen... other than the whole jellyfish issue, of course. But I digress. The difference between French from France and French from Quebec is much more marked than that. No matter how much French you learn ahead of time, I can guarantee you'll have a hard time understanding people here when you first get here. But that's all part of the fun of travel, isn't it? Best way to learn a language? Get yourself a hottie French boyfriend.

Wow, haven't been here in a while, and then I see a whole thread devoted to my home city. So, I'm a Montrealer and I've been to Sydney. Both awesome cities. Montreal's probably closer in feel to Melbourne than to Sydney, though. Very arts-and-cafe culture here. And no beach. Sydney has a beach. And hot weather. Very hot weather. Montreal has very cold weather. And lots of snow. And hockey, of course. So if you prefer the cold to the heat (like me), then you'll probably prefer Montreal. Just don't underestimate the brutal winters - they'll kick your ass. Montreal's a very liberal, multicultural city. And yes, very GLBT-friendly, though nobody really makes a big deal about that anymore. It's sort of live and let live, you know? My friends are a very mixed bunch. It's been years since anyone has batted an eyelash in my circles, anyway. Yeah, there's the Village (though most of the people moving in lately are young straight couples with kids) and there's Divers/Cite and the festivals and stuff, but it's just sort of a part of the incredibly diverse fabric of the city. Summer is nonstop festivals anyway, and everyone kind of gets into the spirit of things. People are more likely to pay attention to whether you're a vegan cycling activist who eats organic than to your sexuality, whatever it may be. It's just a non-issue, unless you want it to be. Quebecois/French is sort of like Australian English/American English. Same language, but just barely. The accents and expressions are very different. But don't worry about it too much; if you were to spend any length of time here, you'd adapt. English is widely spoken, too. And new immigrants to Quebec can get free French lessons from the government. Is there bullshit to deal with here? Sure there is. The language politics crap crops up every once in a while, usually when politicians are trying to stir up shit for votes. The economic woes have led to a massive population migration to Toronto over the past quarter-century for jobs. If you don't speak French it can be a bit tricky to find gainful employment, though contacts help here. Our roads have potholes the size of, well, Australia, and we just re-elected a massively corrupt mayor because the other choices were even worse. Not to mention, it was minus-30 last week. So it's not paradise here, by any means. All that being said - and I'm biased because I adore my city - but, having traveled all over the world, I really believe this is the best place in the world to live. Come visit, check it out, see what you think. (By the way: The guys with French accents? Highly overrated. IMHO, the guys with Australian accents are much hotter. But, the grass is always greener and all that, right?)

That's great news, Duncan! Thanks for the update, and glad to hear your muse is back in residence. Looking forward to the next installment.

Nag, nag, nag. LOL.

Nah, it's not that I don't like Matt. I do. I'm just not feeling the chemistry between Matt and Luc for some reason. Maybe it's because Luc as seen through Scott's eyes seemed so brilliant and talented and interesting in EW; Luc through Matt's eyes now just seems like someone Matt feels sorry for. There's a real fine line between empathy and pity.

I must have been in a black hole or something, because it took me two whole weeks to find, read and comment on the new chapter. Shame, shame, shame on me! Matt's guilt over his past is palpable, and you can understand his hesitation at how he approaches Luc. Especially with what we know about Luc, from Scott's point of view in "Everybody's Wounded". Luc seems like the kind of guy who would have been easy prey for Matt, before. But Matt is honestly trying to put that behind him. One random thought: These characters sure cry a lot during sex. Poor kids. Hasn't anyone ever told them it's supposed to be fun?

It's not just the use of cliffhangers. It's also how every major character seems to have to find out in the Worst Possible Way. I mean, Ryan probably would have been a lot cooler about the whole thing if he hadn't woken up to Jake kissing him in bed (however mistakenly). And something tells me Jake's mom will be cool about it too, but really, what mother wants to overhear crude teenage sex discussions - of any persuasion - about her own kid? Poor Jake. It's tough being a character whose author has it in for you, isn't it?

Everyone talks about growth and improvement, but often, the raw, flawed early works are an author's best. Sure, the style gets more polished and mature over time, but often the work loses something - in intensity, in emotion, in sheer grit. Just look at the number of published authors out there who "break through" with wonderful first works, only to sorely disappoint with their sophomore or subsequent efforts. So, sure, strive for continual improvement, by all means. But don't cringe at the earlier stuff, because - flaws and all - it probably has heart. An important lesson, if I may say so myself: Don't let your work lose that naive idealism as it improves over time.

There's a "then and now" meme going around on some writers' communities. That made me think of this. I think Libby Drew posted hers the other day. Bottom line is, there's no sense in cringing over what you wrote then. It was what it was. Either it's salvageable, in which case you should look at how it could be fixed, or it's not, in which case you chalk it up as a learning experience and move onto something else. There's no shortage of ideas out there; what separates true writers from hacks is the execution.

It's because the provincial governments impose hefty taxes on alcohol, and maintain distribution monopolies (or something close). That said, there's still plenty of good, inexpensive wine available, if you know what to buy. For instance, in Quebec, the SAQ keeps a very good, varied stock of French wine, but a lot of the New World wines are more expensive and harder to find. In Ontario it's the opposite at the LCBO, to an extent.

Was just going to post this but you all beat me to it. Big day for India.

Interesting. Actually, I like Scott a bit less now too, now that we're not in his head anymore, but not for the same reason as your email reader. I don't think that Scott is being harsh or judgmental; I just think that he's projecting his own insecurities. And it's harder for that to come across when his point of view isn't telling us so. But the way he tells Matt that he should be focusing on Luc, well, there's something about it that seems to me like he's mentally head-checking himself, realising that he himself is thinking too much about Luc. And when he berates Matt for having the wrong focus, he's really berating himself. I sort of see Scott as walking around with a permanent case of wounded-bird syndrome. In EW, he thought Luc needed him more and was pulled to Luc, until Josh - who had initially seemed so strong to Scott - confessed that, in fact, he needed him more. So Scott put aside what he felt for Luc and was pulled to Josh. But now, he is being drawn back to Luc, who is maybe less inwardly wounded but still more outwardly so than Josh. The real question: Is Scott so busy thinking about what he should feel that he forgets to ask himself what he does feel? (I could be totally off base here... This is just me speculating... Don't mind me.) Edit to add: Also hard to remember that Scott's only, what, eighteen? Nineteen? He sometimes seems to be a hundred years old.

Nah, that's just typical American melodrama. See, you guys decide you want a country, you have to go out all rah-rah with your guns and your battle cries of freedom or death. We decide we want a country, we just say ask nicely and mind our Ps and Qs. Much less messy that way.

From Draft Weekend to Free Agent Frenzy... So the Habs get Gomez (waste of money), Cammalleri (good pickup), Spacek and Gill (not bad). Komisarek (the traitor!) is now a Leaf. Bouwmeester signs with Calgary. Edmonton gets Khabibulin in nets, and moves Roloson to the Islanders. Hossa heads to Chicago. The Canucks re-sign the Sedin twins. Boston locks in Thomas. And that's just the tip of the iceberg... Follow the frenzy here.

Hey, as a country we're younger, but technically we're much older. Quebec City just celebrated its 400th anniversary this year. How many places in the States can say that? And Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians! Happy Moving Day to my fellow Montrealers. Happy Free Agency Day to my fellow hockey fans.

Averts eyes from the rest of the comments. Rushes off to read. Dammit, Duncan, you would post this on a holiday when I'm out partying instead of home to read, wouldn't you? Back soon with comments... Edit: Another great chapter! So many questions answered here, so many new ones raised. A few key moments: Luc, a calm and cautious driver despite his Montreal roots Heyyyyy! I resent - er - resemble that remark. (Yes, I'm a typical Montreal driver, swearing, speeding, honking, tailgating and all. But what else can you do in a city that's more like an obstacle course, what with potholes, perpetual construction, cyclists, double-parked cars and snowbanks?) Anyway, Luc's PSA warnings to Brandon about talking on the phone while driving on icy roads are kinda sweet, in a protective sort of way. You know, it's funny, but the dynamic between Luc and Brandon was maybe the only one that hasn't really been explored yet. I've never even thought about it that much, and that in itself is intriguing. I liked how you used hands as a constant thread throughout the chapter to express emotion. First with Luc touching Scott innocently and being jolted by it: There it was. That little thrill

90 million dollars is real power. That's change-the-world kind of money. Personally, if I were to win that kind of money, I'd see it as a responsibility to truly do something to change the world in a grandiose, C.J. Cregg sort of way. I mean, sure, invest some, spend some lavishly, give some to friends and family. But you'll still be left with a helluvalot of money at the end of that, and what's the point of having that kind of money if you can't do something really amazing with it? Then again, I'd never win that sort of money, mainly because I don't play the lottery. It's a voluntary tax on people who aren't very good at math.