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Hi Chaz and Green, I remember when Green would mention your twin brother in blog entries many months ago. I used to think and feel that your twin brother is also Gay. There are studies on identical Gay twins. Maybe something you can read up about. There is something in my inner gut (and its not based on anything then an instinctive guess) that tells me your twin may be Gay and he is struggling mightily with his own identity. Otherwise, why would he want to pretend to be you so he can be with Green? Reading your blog entry is surreal and de ja vu...I don't blame you for having your radar go up and his girlfriend having the same reaction. I just have this inner feeling that he is Gay and doesn't know how to come to terms with it? Could that possibly be? It is either that or if he is straight, he can't seem to connect and communicate with you. Which is his issue and not yours and somehow that disconnect has left him stranded in his emotions and maybe even though you are twins you are as far part in galaxies as can be. Maybe I am totally wrong and you can bitch slap and tell me to f#*k off but I had this feeling then and still do that maybe your twin has a thing for Green. Its either that or he resents that you are settled, happy and he isn't with himself..I don't know...I just sense from Green's early entries that your twin has a lot, real lot of inner demons and struggles (go back to Green's blog entries when you were just friends in the Fall and way before you were together as a couple) I am not making sense but I read your entry and what you describe would leave me troubled too. I will be interesting to read what others say. Do you feel comfortable speaking to your parents about it? Maybe your twin's girlfriend? I think your concern is well placed..I wish I could give better advice. sorry. except, I do offer hugs and hoping it works its way out:) Michael

Hi..its ironic that you mention that Brokeback Mountain reminds you of Matthew Shepard. The setting is Wyoming from 1963 through 1983. Matthew Shepard is from Wyoming and that is where he was murdered. I was pleased that the film's screenplay stuck almost word for word to the original Annie Proulx short story, "Brokeback Mountain". I had read the story first before I saw the film. It still breaks my heart and I thought Ang Lee did an amazing understated direction of the film that made it perfect. I hope he wins Best Director and it wins as Best Film of the year. Michael

Hi...I love your story. I also think Kitty is an amazing editor and beyond that an amazing human being of substance. Your story is amazing, and I sense it reflects your sense of humanity and love...I am as addicted to it as I am to Dom's writings..I will check out your other stories. BTW, fingers crossed for you being accepted in the Ph.D program:) I have Elton John's Peachtree Road...even though it had touches of country (not usually my favorite genre), I feel it was his best one in years...it had lots of heart, angst, love and deep passion. Gotta love that:) Michael

Kevin, You can be nice and not interested and be polite and say things such as "you are a really cool guy and I am flattered but (insert blank) and these are listed since you can't seem to say no and hurt someone's feelings. 1. I have decided to stay single and not date at this time since I am moving and don't want to create any attachments. 2. I don't think we would be compatible but I wish you the very best. 3. (if you have use the fake boyfriend)...i.e. I am dating someone and we are in a committed relationship..so I am flattered but thanks but no thanks. 4. I am just here with some friends and I am just here to chill but not really into getting to know anyone at this time....thanks any way. 5. Excuse me, I think you are a cool guy, just that I just broke up with my boyfriend and I am determined to take the time to heal and not date for a while so I can reconnect with myself. as you develop more confidence to say "no"...you can just smile and say thanks for the chat but I am not interested in starting anything with anyone at this time....good luck to you...and then say, well, if you don't mind I have to go call some friends who were supposed to meet me here and find out what happened to them (or I have to look for my friends who seem to have scattered) The art of saying no gracefully takes time....and it is better then saying "um, dude, I am just not into you so get lost" It is also tough out there with all those metrosexuals (are they or aren't they one of us...so sometimes the flirtdar like Gaydar can be on the fritz....) My point is that also it appears that women may think you are on the heterosexual team so be aware and shut down the flirt impulse..for each smile...give the friendly smile but not the flirt smile and comments like I will have to check out the exact location of all those piercings..um.....penalty and sideline you so the women don't get confused.....and that would be confusing to hear if you don't play on their str8 team. Good Luck and it takes time....and when you want to go to hot spots maybe bring a friend so he can keep your flirtdar in tack and come to your rescue.....if need be....you can be each other's buddies to help each other....i.e. come to the other's rescue in case of "Danger, Will Robinson"....unwanted sexual flirting coming my way.....help me out here.... Michael

Green and Chaz and David:) Hugs to David and his brother Craig. I hope that they reconnect and with their sister too. It seems David will get to hopefully connect his family of friends with his blood relatives in the form of his sister and brother. It is wonderful to read about. Hugs and love sent to all:) Michael

Viv.....I am surprised Rich didn't demand to buy his jeans at Costco...hee hee Ann Marie is very sweet and funny.....I love well I am from Kindergarten comment......Did anyone giggle or smile at the comment...its.....soooo adorable and cute...makes you want to pinch her cheeks and give her kisses and hugs.....and I bet you do...and I see a typical big sister who loves but hates (not really) her little brother.. And I can see all of you punching Rich in the arm every time he says "El Torito".....ROFL and I bet you all roar with laughter, Rich included:) I see Ann Marie is a budding writer..hmmm..makes me wonder from whom she gets that from? hee hee:) Michael

Viv....ouch for the lump..be careful and I hope it goes away fast and the pain too:) Yeah for your participation for the Race for the Cure..but, um, I thought the color of tee shirt should be pink and not green..oh well.... Just tell Rich you need more and closer body contact with him to stay warm:) that should make him smile:) Michael

Dom, Hugs to you for your older puppy:) You are one of the good guys!! As long as the vet says your puppy isn't in pain and can function...I hope that your puppy does ok...is she light enough that you can pick her up to go up and down stairs? If not, I have watched news reports where older dogs get their own version of walkers with wheels..but of course going up and down stairs with wheels won't work. I also understand "shutting down" when a family member dies..except when the puppy passes on well I feel that will be different since they give unconditional love. Woo hoo as the $16.00 lottery win:) I also agree with you about weddings...I loathe and hate them to no end.......grrrrrr! Michael

Kevin, I wonder how nice Pam would be (I use that term loosely since IMHO she doesn't seem to be "nice" at all) to you if she knew you are Gay. Patrick nor any one should ever have to endure work place harassment for being Gay or for any other reason (i.e. sexual harassment, discrimination against minorities, women based upon their status) My only question is what took your boss so long. He is blessed that Patrick didn't scream discrimination and Patrick still can and also harassment. Your boss sounds like a nice guy but geez, NO ONE should have to put up with a boss or a co worker like that. It sounds like even he had more then enough. If Pam has a Gay son she has disowned she clearly forgot (if she claims to be a Christian) that God Loves all of his/her children...even Pam! In any event, I hope all is ok..btw I read your other blog entry and I have decided that in life you walk on the sunny side of the street....no matter what and you always will.....if there is rain you would merely say "Mother Nature" taking care of her children and plants to make sure we are ok....I admire your positive life affirming sunshine:) Kudos and Rainbow Hugs sent your way for your sunshine:) Michael

Green, To add to what James says it always tells the other person or persons to whom Robert is telling personal stuff about you to be very weary of Rob...because if he gets upset with them then he will trash talk about them and tell their secrets.....so people hearing his trash talk are going to want to avoid him and not trust him....he isn't exhibiting the qualities one wants in a friend is he? who wants someone who doesn't keep confidences and trash talks about people after a dispute. Add to that and anyone who knows you will know what is the truth and what isn't and that is what matters. Fear not and save your hands for giving hugs to Chaz and those you love:) and save your energy and words for good things:) Michael

Green and Chaz, Ok hugs first...I am sorry that Robert is doing what he is doing. But remember they are his issues (you can fill in the four letter word that begins with s and ends with t...its his not yours Green) If he is trash talking you...the truth always wins out in the end. I worry about you Green when you throw fists because quite frankly one day its going to end up with you being in jail. That's not a good place to be for one second. I am glad that you are expressing your anger on paper (I wish you could express it on paper, calm down, come back and look at it and then if you want to in the presence of Chaz and Selene and David express it..then bring Robert over in all of your presence and speak what is on your mind.....without fists....) Just remember just because someone says it doesn't make it so...we all know you are honest, you don't lie, you don't cheat and if someone is disrespecting you and violating confidences that speaks volumes about them and not you. I hope you will be ok Green and I hope that you can find a forum to tell Robert how you feel and what his actions do to you emotionally (meaning you feel angry, upset, hurt, pissed off and the fact that he violated your confidences and disrespected you as a human being and whatever you need to say concerning his conduct and words. But please so you look after your physical well being and physical safety, walk away first with Chaz in toe so you can walk outside, scream, emote and let it out but don't use your fists....it will only land you in trouble and not the person who trashed talked you..... I hope it works out for you.....I am grateful that Chaz was there for you and David and Selene. Just know you are loved and it will be ok....I hope you can express how you feel to Robert (if you can't without fists flying and lots of pain and hurt, then express it and if need be email or have someone deliver a note to him but don't get yourself physically hurt and stressed beyond all get out for someone's lack of boundaries and bad conduct...remember that's his stuff not yours..) Fingers crossed for you and all of you and thanks Chaz for the explanation...give extra hugs and kisses to Green and he will return them to you....so he feels better and you too:) Just know that we know you are true Blue, Mr. Green:) Michael

Chaz and Green, Way wonderful news about David, his sister and his Gay brother.....hugs to all and fingers crossed. Its sweet and wonderful that they are now reunited......and you all were so supportive. Major hugs to all:) I must have missed that David was starting to see a waiter....silly me. I better read your blog again. What was Selene's concerns about the waiter? I must have missed that too..and I must have missed what Robert did to David..... well, so far, seems as if I better catch up on your prior blogs. Clueless in NJ here...LOL Michael

Xander, I think you have it perfect!! I apologize if it appeared that I urged you to get rid of Justin as a friend. I don't mean to imply that. I feel as if he has forgotten that you are indeed one amazing perfect friend. I should be so blessed to have you as my friend..Incredibly blessed. So, I feel you have it right..be open to as Kevin said have Justin approach you but you should, as you are doing, branch out to gather new friends. Now, a funny line from one of Dom's chapters (remember where Luke said that he was getting girls numbers since that meant there would be hot guys at the parties)...maybe you can use that in reverse with your new "metrosexual" friend, who is Gay friendly (the one who attracts all the girls, which in turn means they know guys and well you get the hint) And I am proud of you that you don't wish bad karma on Justin. I do hope that he finds his way to remember just because he has a girlfriend he shouldn't forget his friend. Also, think of what Kevin said..would you feel the same way if Justin had a different girlfriend then Lorena? Now, if you get the part..you have a bonding experience with the cool Gay guy in school...now this may sound silly but you can always write down what you want to say..but keep it simple...like hi...can you help me run some lines..and I can help you run lines....how was your day (and listen..really listen to what he says..a smile helps too:) and if you don't get the part...well, then still volunteer (yes, volunteer) to do anything with the play..set design, paint, do the programs, run lines with cast members...so you get to go to play practice with the crew and you can hang with Meghan and with the cool Gay Guy (he has to have cool gay friends and use the line from Luke in DD....(chapter 33) where there is one cool Gay Guy there will be others..and build from there. and lo and behold Justin will see you have a life and hopefully get interested in what you are doing..be open to your friendship..just don't be his door mat...obviously Lorena brings out the UGLY in Justin and its not a pretty site and very sad and must break your heart to know the bad influence and bad karma she brings and negative influences on Justin..but don't hate Lorena...to me she has very low self esteem and hate is bad karma...and comes back to you 10 fold....I hate to use the word pity (but pity best describes how I feel about her.....she seems to be ugly to the bone and that's not pretty....there is an old Winston Churchill story...Lady Astor complained to him that he was drunk..he sad "Madam, yes I am and in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly" that's sort of poor Lorena....not nice and I don't like the word evil..but seems to be....sad, very sad.. Just be there as the friend you are for Justin but not the door mat for him....I wish there were a way to get Justin to understand his conduct hurts himself worst of all (I have this feeling you are not the only friend he is doing this to) So, time to work on you and enjoy the things you do....chorus, plays, your other friends....be there for Justin but not his door mat and when he reaches out to you, promise me one thing don't and I mean this from the bottom of my heart DON'T dump your other friends (then you would be doing what he is doing) and if you had plans with other friends and he asks you to break them..see if you can include him but don't break those plans and if he can't then he has to learn there are other times to be with you...maybe he will learn that way too...friendship is not to be stomped on....and he has stomped on yours with him. I think the world of you and I hope you find your way and grow from the pain and hurt and just know you are a stand up person and a great friend and a good soul worthy of great friends, one very lucky guy who will be your boyfriend (now when then that happens...remember not to forget your other friends..don't do what Justin is doing..learn from his mistakes) and you have much to offer..so share it with the world:) Prayers said, Good Karma sent and go break a leg (in the world of acting sense..not literally) and I so hooope that you get the part you want or any part for that matter:) Lights, camera, action..... and by the way, Meghan seems like a great friend and also maybe time to find that Gay friend in the neighborhood..ask around..someone has to know where he is:) I look forward to how it goes..and it will go very well:) Rainbow Hugs sent your way:) I am proud for you and proud of you:) You have great inner values and ethics and its going to work out for you..I feel it and you do the same..feel it, dream it and be it:) Michael

Xander....without sounding like a broken record..go back and read your blogs in the summer and fall....don't you think you and Justin are in two different worlds and universes? I believe we all have encouraged you to find other mates and to move on....isn't it clear that you could have had a great year and that you were introduced to a whole bunch of cool Gay guys in the late summer and early Fall, in your own neighborhood, all of whom offered you friendship and the opportunity to develop that with them? Instead, it seems you turned down those opportunities and have been miserable for the entire school year. Justin is with his girlfriend....that's his choice and he has not done anything of substance to maintain a friendship with you....aren't you worthy of amazing friendships? It seems you passed up on a whole bunch of cool friendships for one horrible one with Justin? Maybe instead of being angry at Justin, whom to me has dumped and stomped all over your friendship with him that you move on....go out for the play....find those cool Gay guys in your neighborhood who asked to hang out with you and stop making yourself miserable..Had I know what happened I would have told you this ages ago.....don't take down your own self esteem to the gutter because Justin has decided he would rather be with Lorena (that's his choice..I won't degrade it...but its his choice and he has chosen his girlfriend over you every single time and that has happend for a long period of time....he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who can have a significant other and friends..that's his loss..but in the mean time you are choosing to be with someone who dumps all over you.....you can't honestly say that is worth it..if Justin cares not to give you the respect that you deserve and the respect your friendship deserves and the respect a friend deserves why are you bothering with him?) TIME TO MOVE ON...I believe we said that to you in the Fall...nothing has changed since then and Justin's behavior toward you gets worse.... are you afraid to believe that you who give some much of yourself to your friends aren't worthy of other friends and why not hang out with cool Gay Guys that you will have so much clearly in common with then your very straight former friend Justin (it seems to me that he stopped being a friend to you a long long time ago) I want better for you and we all do..how come you don't want better for you in friendships? I am betting that at least one or more of the Gay Guys you met would love to have you as their amazing friend and potentional boyfriend even....what are you afraid of.....you have nothing to lose since you have nothing left with Justin who chose to stomp all over your friendship with him...his loss....move on and have the friendships you so richly deserve and the potentional as I see it for a boyfriend in that bunch and the beginning of a happy life...not to mention if you try out for the play and make it...you will have an amazing experience and new bonds and new friendships! Justin blew it big time for a long period of time....he let you go..its done, buried and over...I hate to be brutal but I don't know what else to say to shake you out of this.....you are so deserving of great friends because you are one incredibly amazing friend and great guy....Justin's loss....he gets Lorena not you for his best friend..let him go....he let you go a long time ago... now, if you don't do something about it..you only have yourself at this point to blame..yeah, it sucks to lose a former best friend (it doesn't help that in your own way you wish Justin is Gay...but he isn't and well, if he were and treated you as he does I would still say the say thing....he treats you horribly..and you deserve far better) and its tough to find new friends but not that tough since the Gay Guys you met really like you and I do remember all those Gay Guys wanting to hang out with you and be your friend and you didn't explore that...I don't get why given that Justin has been such a (you can supply the curse word).... Stop letting him do it to you and you are...now get on with it..find those Gay Guys to chill with.....try out for the play and find cool friends there.... ok, enough of my tough love....next blog entry I hope we read all about your new friends....Good Luck to you and lots of hugs and forget the losers...they deserve each other and not you...you are a wonderful friend so go be with wonderful friends... Michael

Chaz and Green, Chaz, I understand your feelings and its very good to express them..they are valid human emotions. That said, I really really really believe that Green LOVES LOVES LOVES YOU and not Julio. He was with Julio for some time but if you go back and read blogs from the early Fall onward....they were all about YOU.....I REALLY BELIEVE with all of my heart and being that GREEN LOVES YOU more then life itself. Now, I would say you should have him read your blog entry so he knows how you feel and emotions are never silly...its about you two communicating with each other...express it, say it, embrace it, let it go and then kiss your man who so loves you dearly. I hope that you feel better and I am sure by this time that Green is back in your arms telling you everything that Julio said and of course Green telling you how much he loves you:) That's my story and my feelings and I am sticking to it:) Let us know and remember you are the only true love in Green's Life....not to disparage Julio...I don't say this to do that but I really believe Green truly loves you and only you and that will never change as in true love and soul mates and pure love:) Good Luck to both of you. Hugs too and listen to Viv and Bev.....they speak from wisdom and love:) Michael

Dom... I am very sorry your favorite coffee mug broke.....that's blasphemy for we Italians..we love our coffee! and love to drink it in our favorite coffee mugs:) Don't worry about DD, when inspiration comes to you, it will come...and in the mean time, I have to say that With Trust is an awesome hot story.. I have to ask a question..was it you or Matt who was writing the story about Harry..I think it was you? May we get to see that one in the future? I really thought it was a sweet and cute and yummy story... No matter what you take your time and hit the delete button for anyone that flames you! If not, well our people know people....hee hee...just kidding...maybe not...rofl Just tell the flamers to stop being so Dom if it means dumb....relax, kick back, get warm and when your muse gets ready you will be too:) Michael

I agree with Bard..get each other commitment rings:) they do make them...and then you can also agree to be married and committed to each other....and in honor of Mikie....celebrate with ring dings and chocolate cake:) Rainbow Hugs to both of you:) Michael

Well, not that it matters what I vote (particularly since you decided already...hee hee..) but I agree with Libbonobo. I feel it would be good to get both of your perspectives in the same blog..Plus, another reason is it allows both of you to communicate directly and work on issues....Green has communication skill issues...this would help a lot.. Plus, this may sound silly but to have to go back and forth between the two blogs to figure out who says what about what and to whom will get more confusing. At least to me. This way in one blog we get both of your view points and can get the flavor and vibe of it all. I hope that makes sense. Plus, it keeps Green from running....just promise us Green that you are GREEN and don't hold in your emotions......let it out and no self censorship of emotions....that is what gets you in trouble in the first place. Plus, it will be exciting to hear the wedding news....Yep, I vote for you two getting married:) You are each other's ying and yang.....how sweet is that:) Rainbow Hugs sent your way and welcome Chaz:) Michael

Chaz and GREEN..you too are adorable:) and very funny together......and very sweet...I read both of your posts and it shows...now hurry up and get married...like now...and for you GREEN...that means NOW..HEE HEE:) Rainbow Hugs and Kisses sent your way.....and if the worst of your problems is CAPITALS and putting the salt and pepper shakers in opposite directions..you will both have a LONG LOVING LIFE TOGETHER:) Michael

Chaz...one more thing..I haven't a clue as to why GREEN WRITES HIS NAMES IN CAPITAL LETTERS....LOL I have to admit it has me curious too.....so Green, what's up with that? hee hee....do tell:) Michael P.S...and Green how come in your profile name you have "green" in lower case letters....I just noticed that too....hee hee....GREEN YOU ARE STILL THE COOLEST...UPPER or lower case Letters:)

Chaz, fear not...DomLuka is one of the Hosted Authors...he rights great stories and we all LOVE them:) Trust me on this one Chaz...your Man Green has it very BAD for you (even when he was with Julio) Libbodono (I scew up the spelling of his name all the time) once did a post in which he reminded Green that your name was mentioned like 38 times and Julio hardly any at all...We all knew then that Green loved you....Green was just the last to find out.. So join us and you too will become a Domaholic (and we know Green is not an alcoholic). The term Domaholic is a play on words since we sooo love Dom Luka's stories...we are addicted to his stories and can't get enough.hence the term, "Domaholic". Sort of like Green's blogs and stories.....does it make us Greenaholics? probably does! Welcome and its sooo cool that Selene, your Mom and hopefully David and Robert read Green's blogs.. Just call us the Green squad..we will all be slapping Green on the head when he doesn't communicate and speak up....but at least you have Selene in person to do it for us and for you:) Gotta love that girl.... Now, its time for you and Green to get married and get on with it...(Hey, the Italian Romantic in me...always wishing the best for those who are each other's destinies..and you too are:) Let us know your screen name here so we can all say hi:) and trust me, Green only has eyes for you....but you too will start reading Dom's stories and become a Domaholic....even though you love Green and will love his stories more...but gotta say Dom's the coolest too:) Michael

Chaz and Green, I will do this in reverse order and in honor of Selene (God, I love that girl..and yep, I am Gay..but she is always accurate, honest and loving"). Ok, Green, since Selene is not there, I am blog bitch slapping you on the side of your head!! That is if you shut Chaz from reading your blogs...You have a bad habit of crisis develops you run away (you don't walk) and if Chaz were a lesser man he would have run from you. So, as was suggested if you can't verbally express your feelings and let those who love you in you are doomed to repeat this and maybe next time Chaz won't be there. So, Chaz, read his blogs daily..please..and join the Forum and welcome, cause we love ya to bits....and yes, Green you know I adore and love you..this is just some tough love..I could shake you sometimes.....you can't always rescue others but you refuse to let others help you. I like that Chaz and David gave you a dose of your own medicine....to show you that your actions have consequences when you DON'T EXPRESS what is is going on in your head and heart and if you say you love Chaz, then mean it with actions...let him in..it takes two to make a relationship work..not just on your terms...his terms have been expressed repeatedly (he wants to be let into your heart so you tell him the good, the bad, the ugly and you talk it out so you can deal with it) How can such a brilliant person and writer not be able to communicate? As was suggested, if you get scared, write it down, email Chaz, tell him you couldn't verbalize it but you wrote it... Also, it sounds silly but I think it will help if Chaz, David, Robert and Selene have access to your blog (and Green that means you don't shut down here too..so in the rough spots they will know.....what is going on) Consider it part of a 12 step program. As Libidonono (and forgive me for screwing up the spelling) said you know your mistakes now get going and do something about them....one step at a time...to me, your blog is where you express yourself..so don't censor yourself here..just let those you love read it...and that is easy enough....and if they join the Forum they can.... So, I say welcome Chaz:) Just know we love you as much as we love Green and of course David, Robert and our girl Selene and I do love Chaz's family and gotta love Green's Mom....as Mikie would say big huggles to all of you:) Selene keeping smacking our boy in his head...it seems to work! Love ya all, Michael

Green, Good Karma sent out to you, prayers and hopes said and I am proud of you for reaching out to Chaz, Rob and David. I so hope that Chaz knows he loves you and will reach out to you. I hope your talk with Rob goes well. I also hope your visit with your Dad for dinner goes well and your Mom..well to me she is a living saint. I don't know her(as in know her in person) but I truly love your Mom. Just know that we all love you....and are rooting for you and your Man Chaz:) Where is Selene....I hope she is ok....get that woman to kick both your butts and get you back together in the same room....She is a wise woman.....gotta give her applause and love....she speaks the truth...the good the bad and the ugly of it..but she does speak the truth....now, go get your Man and don't give up... and once you and Chaz are back together again (and you will be) then its just the beginning and you best start talking and communicating and expressing your feelings inside of using your fists and bottling up your feelings or else Selene will have to kick your ass and smack your butt for going back to your old ways.. I say we all give her official permission (Not that she needs it..nothing is stopping her regardless of what I or anyone else says) to kick butt, take no prisoners (unless she locks you and Chaz in one room to work out your differences and Rob and David in another for them to do the same thing) Please keep us posted and just know we love ya!! Now, go get your Man...do not pass Go, do not collect your $200.00..no visiting Jails or getting in any for doing dumb ass stuff and bring your Man back to Green Manor....carry him over the threshold..propose and marry him already..or else we will all kick your butt and then some! Michael

Green, Think about the things that Libbonodo wrote. I feel he is giving you excellent loving advice. I feel you know communication is your weak point, which is ironic since you are an amazing writer. If you love Chaz and I believe with all my heart that you do love him and he loves you that perhaps you write him...express your love and don't be afraid to ask for an apologize and to know that you will need to earn his respect and trust again. I have this feeling that it comes down to self worth issues. Maybe you don't believe you are worthy of love..I know you know you are but maybe you don't feel that you are and so go into self destruct mode and push everyone away. I believe that you are very worthy of love and being loved and we all are. Since communication (or your lack of communication and expressing your fears, pains, hurts, upset etc.) is an issue...maybe you can do what you do best..write it down...give it to Chaz....and just as he pursued you....if you love him and I believe you do..don't give up and keep pursuing him....I hope that you speak to your therapist and work on your issues...maybe you can involve Chaz with some of your sessions..the same with your friends...I don't speak as a therapist...so I have no idea if that is what needs to be done. You seem to know when you are in self destruct mode...you tell us...why not let Chaz see the blog entries so he knows...if you can't verbally express it..by writing it..it helps him understand and then you can work on your issues together....since they involve him...the same with Selene and your friends David and Robert.. you also have had quite a shock to learn about the Liar being your half brother...I do have to say that IMHO your Mother is a saint and your step dad is a cool guy... I am in shock having read what has happened but I am saying my prayers for you....You are an amazing wonderful Guy but so is your Chaz...and your friends...if you don't fight for them, I will agree with Selene and smack you up one side of your head and down the other (even if it is via a blog post)....If you love your Man Chaz..go fight for him...print out the blog entries...give them to him...then write to him and express what you do best..your feelings..it can't hurt...and I am not telling you what to do..just hoping that you know being vulnerable (and how come you can express it in a blog entry but afraid to tell him..well if you can't then at least write it and hand it to him..even as you go on and get your relationship back on track....start expressing yourself...if you can't verbally..then geez, write it and say here...read here) Sending you good karma and hope and love and prayers and hugs and fingers crossed that you will be ok and you and Chaz and Selene and David and Robert find your way back together....Chaz is a keeper and you are too...so hurry up and get busy.....Love ya! Michael

Green, What can I say but I feel like you gave your Mom, your Dad and your step Dad your love and understanding and forgiveness (for your Dad) and those are amazing Valentine's Day presents any day of the year. I feel as if your Mom and your step Dad are amazing loving and accepting human beings. They love you with all their heart. You are very blessed. Not to mention, you have Chaz, who loves you more then the sun, the moon and the stars....all in all, with love and understanding and communication, you have it all. And we love you...even if we don't know you in person. Of course, I have to shout out to Selene and her daughter...and Robert and David... Green, you will be ok....I can see it in this last blog entry. Hugs and Love sent your way:) Always! Michael