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I would love to have asked him...did he chose to be an ignorant moron or was he just born that way? I heard Jerry Falwell once say to Chris Matthews that you either chose to be Gay or Straight...(Chris Matthews for those from over the pond is a political talking head here) and he in his own way mocked Falwell and said you mean when you were a young man you said "I could choose to be Gay or str8 but you chose straight" then how do you know you are straight? Did you have a sexual encounter with a Gay and then decide you would rather be str8....I roared....and then Chris Matthews said being Gay is genetic..you are born that way and you don't make a decision to be Gay or straight...sort of like you have no choice in the color of your eyes, hair, etc.... Viv, you are still one smart and wonderful person to try and educate the guy...I have done what you have done in explaining and most get it..the light bulb goes off..in the case of the co worker....well, geez, dumb and really well the rest I can't repeat. And good for you for moving..the woman sees you with children and she uses that language..shame on her..you should have coughed and sneezed on her......grrr.... your little tyke sounds adorable....now maybe he is a boy friend to a boy (and I mean that they are friends...and he didn't know how to express it....or some little girl said to him that he is her boy friend...I bet the innocent yet funny explanation is the kind of sweet cute skits you see when kids get interviewed on tv and tell very funny stories...out of the mouths of babes.....if only we could learn from them) I am saving chapter 4 for Thanksgiving Weekend...work is too crazy and I don't want to rush reading it.....it will be better then pumpkin pie as I read it:) Michael

Dear Kevin, Big warm loving hugs sent your way and fingers crossed. I am betting your Mom probably knows and is just waiting for you to tell her in your own way and on your own terms. I told my dad some years back. My friends said he wouldn't have an issue with it..he would be cool and that it was my sisters who wouldn't be (I have 3 older sisters..and I don't speak to the stepmother...and my Mom died when I was an infant of one or two years old...one sister says I was one..one says I was two..so I don't really know but around that age) Any how, I did tell him and he was wonderful...he told me he always knew but figured it was up to me to tell him since its my life. He gave me a loving hug, said he wanted me to be happy and to find someone to be happy with..Then he told me don't take this offensively but I don't want to know about your sex life but then again I don't want to know about your sisters either (they are straight). (I found that honest and refreshing.) Since then we have grown closer together and it is as if a wall has been lifted between us. I am sure from comments your Mom made that she will be loving and accepting..You are her son and she loves you very much. As you said, from there you can breath easy, feel at ease with her and be yourself. From there the growth process begins and the closeness grows. I can feel it in my bones. And trust me, you can always find a surrogate mother if you want your own biological child. However, adopting...your Mom will love her grandchild unconditionally. Its just seems to me that is how your Mom is....after all she raised a wonderful son with a good heart, great spiritual soul and a smart son who has much to offer the future Mr. Friendly Face and your children:) And if you don't tell her..don't kick yourself...there will be another time...when you feel the time is right..(but I am betting the time is very right now...since you appear ready and I am betting that she is ready for you to tell her) Hugs and Good Luck:) and Happy Thanksgiving...and um, I bet in time you can tell the Grandparents...I bet they are in their own way cool and wouldn't matter...but first things first....Mom is going to surprise you with her loving acceptance....I am sure of that as tomorrow is I am that she loves you to bits:) Michael

Green and Chaz, Happy Thanksgiving...you have each other and that is most wonderful....and means you have much to goive thanks for, besides your friends...and I have to say your Mom in her own way is awesome...she makes sure you find peace, happiness and cool family members to hang with:) Safe travels and also may you and your friends find peace and closure as you visit your friend's grave....My condolences at such a horrible loss....no less to find out about it a year later. Michael

Dear Friendly..I am pretty sure that adoption by Gays is legal in Texas...best to check it out though. I think Florida is the only state that doesn't allow adoption by Gays. I bet if you check with Lambda Legal, they will know right away. Same sex marriage is now constitutionally banned in Texas.....but I am hoping Kinky Friedman, who is running for Governor, succeeds and wins (he is for same sex marriage and anti discrimination laws against Gays.) He is an author and country singer and I find him to be very down to earth, smart and has a good kind heart....and he is no nonsense..a good independent thinker.....can't go wrong with that. I agree with Kitty that we will see same sex marriage, allowing Gays to adopt and human rigths for all of us...it will take time, but it will happen. So what kind of writing do you want to do? print journalism? short stories? books? poems? all of the above? In addition to your Friendly Face, you have a kind and gentle heart and soul. I know that will shine through in your work:) Good Luck:) keep us posted:) Michael

Elk...I didn't even know they killed Elk? for dinner? What kind of Tradition is that? Look we Italians have the Italian delicious stuff but it is with the Turkey.... I don't recall the story of the Pilgrims eating a stuffed Elk and pumpkin pie...ELK?!! Well since you can't give the family the bird...maybe you can bring a Turkey and beg Mom to cook it:) Sorry to hear of the death of a family member. Condolences and sympathies to you and your family. Michael

Xander...Just be careful...I have been burnt when a friend breaks up with a BF, and they ask me what I really think and then I tell them...(meaning if I didn't like their BF and thought he was shady, controlling, manipulative and a Gayme player) and then my friend goes back to that BF after a break up and my friend then feels awkward around me or gets upset with me that I spoke my mind (now it looks as if my friend has no taste, discretion, etc by going back to the low life scum etc.) I end up losing the friend....so, just be cool...hang in there....its not as if Lorena will be around forever..sooner or later if she is as horrible as everyone says, Justin will see that...it is sad that a GF or a BF can do that... as one of my friends tells me..you never really know a person..they can put on their good witch face to you and then in reality be the bad witch.......(and if they have bewitched you into believing the good witch part, etc...sorta leaves one clueless) so proceed with caution....just be there for Justin...non judgmentally. Very hard to do..but it can be done..remember, there may be a BF or two in your life that Justin won't like...so remember how all this went...you will want Justin as your friend and not a former friend. Michael

Green, I vote with James on this one....part of growing a relationship with Chaz, IMO,is letting him in and trusting him..He has been there every step of the way and quite supportive....and nonjudgmental and gives you your space...I hope you feel you can trust yourself to let go...so to speak and let Chaz in...then again, its not my place to say..and of course, speaking to your therapist helps. You are a great guy...so is Chaz..and as to your Dad, remember those are his issues and not yours....maybe lack of education and ability to express himself are part of his issues....and ignorance mixed with fears and preconceptions, upbringings, religious and family stuff..don't help... Above all else, its your life to live as you see fit and you are doing that....so you have much to give thanks for... Hugs and Hugs to Chaz and your friends. Happy Thanksgiving! Michael

Nick, Rest and feel better soon....just remember to take care of yourself...don't think about brainless morons.....they only bring us down. Hugs and chase away the illness:) Michael

Dear Friendly:) You are warmly welcome:) Besides, as Kitty said, in your life time, marriage will be legal for us...and in many states adoption already is (actually even in red states like Texas it is)...so, I am betting you will have love, marriage and the baby carriage(s) and at least one little Friendly Face in his or her pjs with the bunny slippers...and a Teddy Bear....(if you don't know I adore Teddy Bears:) and I hope I get to read your blogs and writings/stories as often as you wish to share them with us:) Michael

Dear Friendly:) I will look forward to your blog....you always have cool insights...and you write with clarity and vision and humor and are very down to earth. Beyond that take your time on Coming Out. Add to that you know human nature very well! I bet that your psychology and sociology background will help a lot with your work. In any event as James said, its always great to have your Friendly Face around:) Michael

Hi Jim, I hate when someone introduces themselves and I get flustered or didn't hear their name and I smile but don't remember it....especially if under pressure as you were in a competition. I had Latin for 3 plus years..it is hard and I have no ear for languages so it was extra hard...My Latin teacher would line us up against the wall....Yeah, you felt the heat as if in a LineUp of Death, and drill us with Vocabulary tests.........pressure.. and translations for tests..and that tended to be brutal..I did well but it was torture and I have to say that I am horrible at languages (I think I said that) but got As..don't ask me how...but I did ok, now I am breaking out in a sweat and panic attacks.. my sympathies..good luck with the test....hey, maybe you will see the Junior again:) (I know he is not Hot CC guy..but hey, what the heck, at least your Gaydar is working:) Michael

Sharon...Yeah!!! Big Smiles...I am sooo Happy...(Does the Snoopy Happy Dance) that your Man got it right......Kudos to the Hubby:) As the Birthday Girl you deserve flowers and then some...and not just on your Birthday:) I am sooo Happy that you had a Great Birthday!!! Birthday Hugs sent your way:) and Hershey Kisses and yummy chocolates...and then some:) I bet you even got a great birthday dinner too:) Michael

Chaz...what about Selene? and why not go with Chaz..well then maybe that's too soon..but his family knows you...or is Selene to her Mom's now early for the Thanksgiving holidays? duh...I guess that explains the trip to the airport..never mind..not enough coffee to think that one through. I avoid family for this holiday(and as many others as I am able to)..last 5 yrs or so..been wonderful..I spend it with friends.....its just peaceful, fun and nice..and drama free....Hugs to you....it will be wonderful to have a GREEN DAY and give thanks for all the love and friends and for your Mom....and of course CHAZ:) And, given, recent family get togethers..being home for you would be the sanest, safest choice (we don't need to hear of you having to kick butt or being hauled away due to a fist fight due to morons making homophobic comments, rude ones..etc..SEE..now you get to avoid the Turkey Day Drama Bowl and have a peaceful Thankful Day!!) Michael

Happy Birthday Sharon!!! I hope you have a most wonderful Birthday and full of fun, happiness, gifts you actually love and a great time with your family and friends~! Have a great year and many Happy Birthdays to come!! Enjoy and then some! You deserve it! Michael

Nick...you are a good person...just remember, its only opinions..there is no wrong opinion....as I explained to one of my sisters, who called one of my brother in laws that he is ignorant..that just because he doesn't agree with your politics doesn't make him ignorant...(and he is extremely conservative....so you see I did stick up for the conservatives..actually, I am the only progressive in my family..the rest are conservative Republicans) politics and religion discussions at family events equals anger and hurt feelings. next case, step down....just make them all enter the no politics/no religion family zone..its smarter..beats turkeys flying around the room....and I don't mean the relatives..during a food fight over issues...hee hee. beyond that..keep growing and exploring life... and know we all have your back...and respect your right to express your rights of free speech and freedom of religion.... Michael

Green, YUCK....I need a bath after reading about the sleazoids from HELL...well, you handled it well...now burn their numbers...say the secret password to bar them from ever running into you and just let Selene get all bad ass on them....FYI...keep Selene as a friend....she protects her friends and has good instincts... and don't forget to get more food in...sounds like with the holidays coming up..lots more crashing of friends by you..beyond all that I am glad you had fun with your friends....(lucky for you that you and Chaz won at strip poker.....we know what the gruesome twosome would do to get you naked..I am surprised they didn't bring a rigged deck of cards....LOL) Well, Green, remember, communication with Chaz and go slow..seems as if you are:) and we are all happy that you are happy:) Michael

Sharon...we need to find one of we Gays to talk to the hubby....you know hints....try flowers, a romantic dinner, a weekend away together....(but um, car floor mats.....a no no..maybe he thought he was being romantic since he knows you drive bare foot and we wanted you to be comfy?) But, as I said to Dom, ask the Moms of the Group..there's a novel idea...ask Mom what she likes....tell her to put on a list a things she wants and really likes and take things from there.... Michael

Xander, I have to agree with you....that is how I know 'preps' to be and they were that way in high school, college, etc...I call them "Label Queens".....drives me crazy...and they let you know how much a shirt or jeans or suit or sweater costs and the label associated with it and the latest fashion etc...and heaven forbid you don't have those right clothes....I just look at them and say well, my jeans are from Costco and the Costco label (Kirkland), and I am proud of that...jeans are jeans....I dress neatly but I sure as heck don't die if I don't have the latest Dolce and Gabanna, Abercrombie, etc..even the correct underwear that costs a fortune just for a label (I won't buy Abercrombie (besides it really is for the teen set and I don't think their stuff is very fashionable or fits well or even looks nice..its very drab) because they have been cited for really bad sweat shop stuff overseas) or the "right" kind of jeans or cell phone or other such things...I don't mean to belittle those who enjoy fashion and are really into it..I just bemoan the Label Queens who are like robots and don't think outside the box or run with the herd etc....the way you described them says it best....what happened to individuality? grrrr! Funny, I was just thinking of your Boy Band..there is a way for you to hang out with your BFF (except be aware that the GF may want to get in on the practices..maybe you guys can make a no GF/BFs allowed during practice jam sessions......gives you quality time with the BFF and your new found Band mates!) and forgive me for generalizing and stereotyping..but I think you hit it right on the mark in your post/blog as to the preps/fashionista Label Queens!

Thanks for the suggestions, Michael. But, OMG, I just thought of how my mom would react if I got her cooking lessons. What, you don

Dom, when I read the paragraph about your Mom and early Xmas presents..I thought you got her a kitty kat.....duh....and your neighbors ought to be thanking you for looking after their runaway cat..who was probably running away from them! Geez, Louise! Presents for relatives...very difficult..my middle sister (they are all Italian Princesses) complains about gifts you get her....she has rich Italian Princess taste..I used to bring my BFF Thora along who knows the IPs well....it gets tough....how about a Spa weekend for her? you can all chip in and make sure she goes....drive her there if need be:) Does she like to cook? maybe cooking lessons? garden? so you can send her to a gardening class or stuff that she will enjoy what are her hobbies..then maybe plan a family gift around that? I bet the Moms in our Group can come up with suggestions. Two people flamed you on the "fantasy" blog? yikes....sorry.... I am soo happy to hear that DD is going to be longer...you have written it so well with lots of room for interpretation, growth, events to be shaded/filled in....I was feeling sad to hear Rory say he wanted to go back to Grandma Alice..I am so hoping he decides to stay:) any how...I can wait for details and enjoy this really very fun and interesting story.....and it has a real sense of "heart", humor and just interesting to see Rory grow emotionally (even Eddie is growing as a Dad:) thanks for the great story:) and here is to shielding out writers block..... Michael

Dom, Why mess with perfection...besides which the fantasies we all have of whom we would want to be with whom would only result in you being driven crazy with suggestions. This then results in lots of fights amongst your fans..those in the various camps of wanting different new lovers together.....oh the chaos and in the meantime your other stories get distracted and then you have to sort out the battles amongst the disgruntled fans....Ann has to play peacemaker (she always does..thanks Ann:) and your other fans want more chapters on other stories.. too exhausting to think about that chaos..as I said, why mess with perfection and leave the fantasies to our minds and various 'what if' blog postings...much more fun that way:) and I am with Lucy..kinda icky that some guy wants you to write a fantasy piece just for him..weird foreplay is what I say...and too strange...its like he likes you for his fantasies of what he wants in a fantasy piece.. Ok, that's just wrong....as Lucy said..all too weird. Just my two cents worth. Michael

Xan...um, I agree with Friendly and it looks like Alan could be another friend...so, give him a shot....and see what develops..time to expand Xander World....hey didn't anyone tell you that having such a cute puppy is a great conversation starter...a way to meet cute guys and people in general (everyone loves puppies....) Just ask them...they will all want to pet the puppy, ask you a zillion questions (how old is the puppy, name, is he poop trained, etc.) and a great way to start to get to know someone...so start taking Xander lots of places with you...I bet he helps you make new friends:) and um, the band, who cares if any of you can play..its a Boy Band and an opportunity for you all to bond and have fun..which really, isn't it what its all about? and if you end up being really good...you can play and you get to attract hot Guys and for the str8s in the Band, they get to attract hot girls....so the down side of this is? NONE....encourage Justin..it will be a way for you and Alan and your friends and the Guitar Blind Guy who can't play to jam together and have some laughs and friend bonding time:) Sounds like you are on your way:) Happy Weekend:) Michael

Viv:) I just finished Chatper 2.....damn your amazing......big lump in my throat and tears and well, so wonderfully romantic.....and sweet..just like you are:) Thanks for having the courage to write one extraordinary story...... I long for more and more of your chapters..I am sooo glad Matty convinced you to put pen to paper (or whatever the computer equivalent is:) Bravo and take huge bows:) Now, all I have to say is where the heck is Chapter 3? hmmm? come one......your anxious fans are waiting... hee hee:) Michael

Green:) Baby steps are the only way to build a solid foundation...and go slow and enjoy each other's friendship, build on the love and build slowly...carefully and let it glow, grow, keep you warm and happy as the days become weeks that become months and then years....one day at a time:) it is what its all about:) and tell Selene, she is one smart woman:) and thank her for getting you to see the light:) Of course, we cheerleader section, um, well, I hope we were supportive:) Michael

Green, You know how I feel..so go snuggle and spoon and stop freaking and start ENJOYING AND GO, BE HAPPY:) Now, do the Happy Dance...remember back to the first blog you talked about Chaz as being hotter then Brad Pitt and the nicest guy you ever met...so, what are you waiting for..go, go, and go more and enjoy the first day of the rest of your lives together... Kiss and hug your Man..and go begin happiness together and may it never end:) Michael