methodwriter85

Good for him.

I'm going to say this, as someone who has been your beta reader ever since chapter 3 of Chronicles of an Academic Predator and even inspired you to create Matt in the first place- I never thought, at any point, Matt and Wade were acting out in character in terms of how their relationship is imploding. Sure, I didn't think Wade would have yelled at Matt at the the Halloween sorority party, but that's minor. I thought you've been laying out the groundwork for them to break up going all the way back to Paternity- yes, it had a happy ending, but it was also a rift that didn't really heal because Matt didn't really deliver on his promise to act like a partner to Wade and a father to Riley, and the stresses of 9/11 just ripped open the rift fully and totally. In an event, I really liked the talk that Will and Zach had about JJ. Of course, to a wolf like Zach, the idea that someone would be a virgin at nearly 16 while being cute and semi-famous would be shocking. I also kinda wondered if Zach's flirting with JJ reminded JJ of the coach who molested him. If I were in JJ's mind, I think he's going to wary of non-family members being nice to him. (I don't think Zach is quite considered a family member, and I doubt JJ would think of him as one.) He's going to view people being nice and flirty with him as there being some kind of ulterior motive, because his coach really did destroy the happy, cheerful, sociable kid little boy thrilled to meet new friends that we saw in If It Fits.

Alright, go Mark and Adam!

Alright, it's the Olympics again, which means it's time to start enjoying the eye candy. I've always found Canadians to be cute as hell, so I zeroed in on this: 17 Hot Canadian Olympic Athletes I'd say I'm feeling on Matthew Margetts, William Dutton, Andrew Poje, Jake Holden, and Dylan Moscovitch. The last one vaguely reminds me of Blake Berris, this soap opera actor that I kinda find cute in this quirky way. So who are you guys feeling?

He's also not the first Olympic swimmer to come out. Matthew Mitcham has been out for a long time.

The Fault in Our Stars trailer is now standing at 10.1 million views! Woo-hoo!

9.11 Chapter 72 -When Wade goes off on Matt and gives back his ring. "Pushing Me Away" by Linkin Park -When Wade decides to drink away his sorrows at the DG house and party his ass off. "Be Faithful" by Fatman Scoop -When Wade muses on Matt, thinks about how he can't wait for graduation, and lo and behold Matt shows up. "How's It Going To Be" by Third Eye Blind

Isn't Hot Jeff happily attending USC? It makes sense we're not really seeing much of him, because this book is so focused on the Palo Alto area. We haven't had that many chapters set around Los Angeles for this book, right? As for Matt and his biological family...I always thought it was funny how he's kind of got a reverse rags-to-riches story. Not really that he lost money, but Matt went from having a brahmin, well-respected WASP famiy, to discovering that he's actually the son that belongs to a family with serious white trash roots. That's probably why the notion of changing his name to Hayes has probably never hit Matt, because his adopted family name is much more respectable, especially if we're talking the mid-West.

Today, I spent time putting in job applications...a whole revamp of my CV and resume and cover letters...it's the first time in awhile I put in so many applications and the like. It felt nice. And then...something strange hit me. I felt inexplicably sad for some reason. Part of it had to be that I had just gotten through helping my mom do home loan modification papers, and that's kind of iffy and unpleasant. But the other thing...probably the main thing...it made me think about the fact that my friend, Steve, who died at 27...he doesn't get to send off job applications or go on interviews or make plans for the future. And it made me feel sad to think that. He's never going to turn 28, he's never going to have a career, and Steve now only exists as the past now. Which is crazy to me, because I've like said earlier- Steve was SUCH a "live for the present" kind of guy, while he mercilessly made fun of me because I'm so damn nostalgic for the past. It's so weird. My life for the past year and a half after graduation has been a parade of disappointment after disappointment, and keeping my head up in the face of a mounting realization that I perhaps will never get the museum curator or archivist job I want to have. But I have hope, every time I send off an application, that someone might say yes. Hope for a yes, and hope for a better tomorrow. Steve doesn't have that. He's never walking across the stage and accepting his master's degree in counseling. He's never becoming a counselor. And it just sucks, and it makes me sad and angry It's interesting how the grieving process goes. I feel fine for awhile, accept that Steve's gone, make my peace with it, and got through a couple of weeks in January with no crying at all. But then...I don't know. First up, I talked to my friend Josh, who all of you know is struggling with health issues. We hung out at his apartment one last time while he was getting ready to pack up, and I just had this really long talk to him, about his own mortality issues, as well as dealing with Steve's death. He was pretty understanding, which I knew he would be given that this guy has been facing mortality since the age of 10. The main thing I got out of that talk was accepting that I wasn't a shitty friend for not getting how fucked up Steve was, because even Steven probably either didn't get it, or tried his best to hide it. And there's only so much you can convey over phone or text, and I wanted to believe that my friend was doing great and therefore didn't try to probe him all that much about his issues. Maybe it was big denial on my part. I mean really, Steve was loaded every moment of the day in college, and I'm guessing that grad school wasn't all that different. I had hoped that Steve had grown out of it because I'm Mr. Pollyanna, but I was wrong. The talk helped, but then it also put Steve back on my mind. And then I got a letter from Steve's parents, where they thanked me for the condolence card that I sent Steve and told me that his service is scheduled for August 9th, and then it just hit me again, harder this time. I'm not constantly sobbing every day or anything like that, but I've been thinking about him again, more than I had until the past few weeks. Hence this whole "sad attack" that happened to me tonight.

So Mark wants to update the J-Bar, as seen in A Summer Love through 9.11, into the new decade. What was Boystown's club scene like circa '02? What did a hip club look like? Can Mark basically just crib off the Babylon from Queer as Folk, or was Chicago's gay club scene really different from Toronto-standing-in-for-Pittsburgh? I also read that Boystown became whiter, more affluent, less strictly gay, and started gaining families i.e. the gentrification process. Is this true, and would this have been in place by 2002? Like would there be straight and gay families pushing their babies in strollers by this point, or is that later in the decade?

Alright, here's the final, official trailer for Divergent: I think this one does a much better job of explaining the concept, which is probably what they should have done in the beginning.

Are you referring to Love Story? That's not how the movie ended- the son and father reconcile. Love Story, by the way, is now a Harvard tradition where incoming freshman mock and make fun of the movie. It's pretty funny to read about.

I still think the book has enough humor and ability to make one appreciate life to counterbalance the tragic stuff.

"Do I Wanna Know" by Arctic Monkeys

Blue, you're a bit off- the album wasn't released until March 25th, 2003. I remember thinking you had to be a bit off, because in 2002 a lot of Hybrid Theory stuff was still making the rounds. Evanescence is also from 2003- I remember "Bring Me To Life" became a hit in the spring of '03, when I was in 10th grade. Don't feel bad though- this stuff is hard, especially from music that's from the same era but not the correct year. If I'm being honest, I was hoping Mark was going to skip over 2002 because the music for 2003 was better, but with the graduation storyline for Matt and Wade, I can't see Mark skipping over '02. I remember this tune being used on the MTV show "Rich Girls", which played at Tommy Hilfiger's daughter's prom and featured a wordless cameo from a then-famous Mischa Barton. Anyway, I can't wait to use this one: 17. "Heaven" by DJ Sammy What a great dance tune. There's also an alternative, slow version of this that's pretty beautiful, I think.

I'm pretty sure a recommendation from Stefan would have been a major plus for someone trying to go to Chicago. Right. In any event, I still think Zach and Will's attitudes and unwillingness to be a team player more than anything else would have kept them out of the military, forget DADT.

You do realize that Matt is not just openly gay, but his romance with Wade has been broadcasted in tabloids since 1999, right? It would be like if 1990's Chad Allen post-outing tried to join the DADT army. There's no way it could happen because you can't really turn a blind eye to it.

I totally forgot that Matt being openly gay would prevent him from being in the military. It's funny how it's only been legal for two years or so, and I've forgotten that it even used to be an issue. It's like when Brad and Robbie had the conversation about how there was no place in the world where gay men could get married, in late 1999/early 2000, which was true and seems crazy in retrospect. I can't see Zach in the military for the same reason I could never see Will in the military- they're too fiercely individual, and not really a team player. One of the crucial things about the military is breaking down the individual so that they reform and conform into a unit, and I can't see Zach ever doing that. He's too much of a lone wolf. In any event, Matt clearly never brought up future grad plans other than some vague stuff about him and Wade being together, so I can't blame Wade for making a clear-cut decision and going with it, with Matt either being with it or not.

I agree- I think the mid-part of the decade had the best music. I can't wait to use the Killers. I'm not thrilled with being stuck with 2002 music, but there's still some good stuff. Although damn, was Ashanti everywhere or what? The good thing is that the White Stripes are around now. 16. "Fell In Love With A Girl" by The White Stripes And the Strokes: 17. "Someday" by The Strokes I think the White Stripes and The Strokes had a massive influence on how rock music evolved for this decade, away from the post-grunge sound.

Justin Bieber's dad is only 38. If he was wearing backwards baseball caps, it was in 1990's style: Speaking of...I kinda wish Mark Wahlberg would take Justin Beiber under his wing and teach him how to go from bad boy teen idol into a respectable adult.

I really like that they look like actual teenagers, especially Augustus. Ansel Elgort was inspired casting- he very much reminds me of a teenaged guy, very bright and intelligent, who tries to say meaningful, deep things in an attempt to seem debonair and worldly, but he still pretty much just looks like a 17-year old boy, especially with that quirky face, lopsided grin and lanky body. It would have looked wrong if they had gotten some 25-year old conventional cookie cutter hunk in the part. I'm glad they didn't. (Glares again at the casting directors for The Giver.)

So it's November in CAP-World, and we're heading towards the year 2002. What were your songs for that year? Here's my '02 Playlist: 1. "Lose Yourself" by Eminem Come on, this isn't even a question. Clearly the best tune from that year. 2. "Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer I had a friend who was kind of an early adopter of John Mayer, so it was kinda cool to see when he broke out later that year with this song. The interesting thing about this song was that it wasn't a top 10 huge hit, but it stayed on the charts and in considerable radio play for at least an entire year after it came out- I remember still hearing this on the radio in late '03. 3. "Just Can't Get You Out Of My Head" by Kylie Minoque Just a great dance tune all around. What a nice comeback. 4. "Just Like A Pill" by Pink I remember thinking that this was the tune where Pink basically admitted that she didn't want to be a hip-hop artist and was more of a rocker. 5. "Only In New York" from Thoroughly Modern Millie I saw this on Broadway back in '02, and oh my god, I just fell in love with this song and the city of New York City. I think I had this soundtrack on endless repeat during the summer of 2002. Every time I hear this song, I picture myself wide-eyed, 16 years old, and absolutely in awe of Manhattan, which just seemed like a wonderful dream. 6. "Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous" by Good Charlotte Good Charlotte. I'm so embarrassed now to admit that I ever liked them. LOL. I think the last time I liked them was about the time they put out "Hold On"...which was like...'04? After that I just couldn't. 7. "Head-On Collision" by New Found Glory I loovvvveeeedddd Sticks and Stones, which I bought from Hot Topic. Oh my god, I loved this tune. 8. "Screaming Infidelities" by Dashboard Confessional Emo music. You've gotta love it. I remember when people would jam on this in a guitar. 9. "All the Things She Said" by TaTu Another guilty pleasure...we used to call it "that lesbian song" in 10th grade, and given that there were a lot of bisexual and/or lesbian girls at school(or girls who thought being bi was cool), it was kind of an anthem. I remember watching a queer retrospective called "Totally Gay!" where Melissa Etheridge thought that it was cool and progressive that blatantly exploiting lesbian imagery was being used to advance a music group. 10. "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne The Avril Lavigne look, i.e. looking like Hot Topic threw up all over you. Man, those were the days. I actually had a friend this song reminded me of, and I'd listen to it in my 10th grade angst and think of him. 11. "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd 12. "Wasting My Time" by Default 13. "Oops, Oh My" by Tweet 14. "Hot In Here" by Nelly 15. "Hands Clean" by Alanis Morisette

I kinda think it would be good for them to separate and go to different schools in different cities...I don't think they were going to grow together, and I think if they split and get a chance to grow and evolve separate, if and when they get back together they'll know that they really are meant to be together.

It's interesting- he does have a bit of the Hayes self-destructive gene, but at the same time...we all have to remember that Matt doesn't have the baggage of growing up a Hayes in Claremont, where everyone sees those violet eyes and assumes that you're some some trashy alchoholic only good for playing football. And he is resillent- remember, this is a guy who survived slipping into a coma when he was 18. I do think Wade's frustrated because Matt made him a promise that they were going to be partners junior year, and it's a year later and he still has refused to grow up. Which is fine for a 21-year old, but Wade's in the head space that he wants to raise his son and he needs someone that can be a husband and secondary father, which so far Matt is showing that he's not ready for that yet. Matt doesn't even really seem to have any plans about where he's applying to grad school, and it's already November.

It's here- the movie trailer for the Fault in Our Stars! In case you guys don't know, the movie is the adaption of the best-seller by John Green, which follows a terminally ill cancer patient named Hazel, and her whirlwind romance with Augustus. You would think that you'd get a maudlin terminal illness novel, but it's not that at all- it's about two teenagers having a romance that is as funny and real as it as sad and tragic. As someone once put it, reading the novel was like having your heart shattered in a million pieces, but being glad for the privilege. I hope the movie can achieve that, as well as keep in John Green's wit and humor. In any event, this could be the movie that turns the former Secret Life of an American Teenager actress into a big star. I really hope the movie can be even half as good as the novel was.