Dr. John NYC

What a breathtaking spectacle you've written, Iarwain! I wanted to be there in person and not just in spirit as a reader. You have painted a picture of what life might be some time in the future that is inspiring and welcome as another awe-inspiring event -- the Olympics -- comes to a close after also having shown (mostly) the greatness that humans can achieve. How much more could the greatness be if two species were working together. Thanks again for such a wonderful story, but please do not let the cliff hang too long without some resolution!

I agree with you, Stellar, that there is a fine balance that needs to be maintained between too obtuse and too explicit in science fiction -- and also in the expressions of romantic love (to your question at the end of the last chapter). Personally, I find your balance quite good. Not that I would not occasionally like more details especially in the science fiction dimension, but mostly it just encourages me to re-read sections to try to extract as much insight as possible and to be patient for the next chapters. I am glad to see Shay and Mira finally connected physically. The fact that Mira also spoke and let Shay know that he understands him was very interesting to connect to the physical connection that has been created. Thanks again for a very intriguing story and some special characters! PS: I am curious to see how Carlos turns out: is this Carlos the real one or is he acting, too. He seems too raw to be acting, but then you suprised us with Sofie.

Intriguing start! I will be looking to see how these characters and their parallel worlds develop. I really like Ryndal. I have to say that Ethan came across single-mindedly obsessed with finding a lover. Not that I have not known people like that (and still do ), but they can get on your nerves just like Ethan after repeating his obsession. At any rate, there seems to be a connection already forming between the two so perhaps Ethan can relax a bit. He seems like he will be up for trying to help Ryndal get back to his world and warn the Queen. Keep up the writing! John PS: One point I would question is the comment about him living in one of the few places in the City where you could walk safely. I live in NYC, and if it is meant to be the NYC of our world in the current time, there are lots of places where you can walk safely -- probably more than where it would be routinely unsafe. Of course, that generalization would vary depending on which hospital he is working at...

Derek and Mitch... Derek and Jason... Derek and Mitch... Derek & Jason & Mitch? Another adrenaline filled chapter -- and poor Mitch: first he loses his favorite weapon and now his Ducati! Thanks and may the muse be with you!

So Sofia is a real psychopathic bitch who masterfully played Shay. I agree that this is really the first major mistake that he could have avoided if he listened to his intuition. I'm wondering if the change he went through has created or increased his empathic (telepathic) abilities. I do wonder why he did not let Konstantin know about the picnic, except that perhaps it was his intuition working again -- plus we would not have the excitement and, I hope, learned lessons from this chapter. The other major surprise was Carlos: I was not expecting him to try to help. Now, according to Sofia, he is to be taught a painful lesson by Leon -- not a pretty thought. Perhaps Mira will be able to communicate the help he gave before Carlos is destroyed. So many questions and so much to look forward to in the coming chapters... WRITE ON!

That was a lot of new information! Exciting as it was that they found the safety deposit box, it would seem to signal even more clearly that the end is in sight. I will truly miss the regular update to the lives of Trevor, Shane, Joel, Lisa, and others as well as the truly psychopathic shenanigans of Bridget. I do hope my 4 favorites all survive the ending! Thanks, C-James!

Here, here... as others have said, "THANKS, Iarwain!" The boys, the dolphins, the AIs, and now Wirrin's ancestor are all fleshing out the story and their characters. The ancestral connection is particularly intriguing. Now to see what K74 comes up with next!

I really like the fact that Konstantin and Lily are scientists even in a world where power seems to be the only currency. Plus, Shay is so intelligent, in some ways too much for his own good as he continues to mask his reality to fit his presuppositions. Not that his behavior is not understandable, particularly considering his age and the extreme focus during his short life on his illness. Like the other reviewers, I am firmly hooked and eagerly look forward to the next chapter!

Another engrossing chapter, Hasimir, and more guilt into the mix -- only this time it isn't just Maraki. How the guilt over thinking he's a "cold blooded murderer" will play out in the next chapter certainly makes me hoping that it appears sooner rather than later! Also, I wonder what Maraki is hiding about not wanting to repeat the lovemaking of the Ardor. Another piece of Ogrushkai culture or some physical reality? It certainly felt like more than just guilt. Yet another mystery of their culture to add to the 20 levels of intimacy, which I am really interested to hear more about. Thanks once more for a marvelous story!

Wonderful story, NightOwl! I, too, would love to hear more, but at the same time, I feel replete with the knowledge that these two soulmates are finally together with the blessings of all the people who really matter in their lives. Thanks so much! John PS: It's okay if you do not do a sequel -- as long as you keep writing!

Definitely hooked me, Stellar. It will be quite a ride based on what you've written so far to see/hear what happened while Shay was in the chamber. Like Rebelghost, my first suspicion was that the gene therapy went awry, but I can imagine other scenarios as well. Looking forward to the coming chapters!

What a ride: this week it was bigger and better than all the adrenaline-producing, stomach-lurching rides I've ever ridden! The momentum just kept building, dropping, then building again and repeating until the end of the chapter. All of that motion and it was driving inexorably towards that final sentence. Whew! Thanks, CJ, and what a wait this week is going to be. PS: It was a beautiful red sunset, but it was also the mother of cliffhangers!

Do I want to see Amanda bitch-slapped? ABSOLUTELY! ...and often. ...and publicly. ...and by someone who can really put her in her place -- or at least a notch or two down. I was disappointed that the lab partner assignments didn't explain partner she got: someone not in her court, I hope. Enjoyed the chapter but looking forward to more!

Great story although I, too, am a bit bewildered by the ending. I hope you do start a sequel to make sure that my attempts at reading the clues were right. If not, perhaps you'll post a postscript to the epilogue to let us all know. I'd vote for the sequel, however, if possible because I also want to know if something will happen between Chris and Karen and also what Aaron decides in terms of his love interests. I have a definite sense that Ian at least is in love with Aaron -- and yes, I mean, THAT kind of "in love". Cheers! John

I, too, enjoyed the story, and will look forward to the novel -- or an interim story. Learning more about Shawn and Will and their adventures will be a treat, but I do hope you include at least a little more about Michael and how he deals with Nate's loss. Happy Writing!

Between Sonic's incredible growth both mentally and physically and the sinister foreboding of the Directed Habitats, there could be some interesting happenings at the scientific event that's coming up. In the meantime, I hope we also learn more about how Wirrin is as special in his field as Thom and Calen. I must say your story has me envious: I wanted to learn to talk with dolphins until I realized that molecular biology and genetics fit me better than non-human behavior. More, please!

Wow, 2 chapters for the weekend: what a treat! It is sad to see them leave so soon -- although I do hope we meet this lovely family again -- but I am glad that the children learned the basics of reading and writing. Interesting also to learn the meaning of the time units in your world. I look forward to meeting Maraki's family!

So glad that Elyran and Maraki were able to make love again and that Elyran seems to be contemplating the full range of making love at some point in the future. I liked the way you leveraged the bedroom scene to include the tale of their flight. As for the ending scene: what a way to hook the reader! Your use of language and language rhythms again evoked the mysterious, arcane, otherworldly nature of the Mogul Emperor and his entourage. One question that came to my mind was why Elyran cannot see the linkage they have to Maraki. Is it different that the connective magic used before? Is it just too tenuous? Is it just that Elyran is not looking for it? I still have hopes that he will see and break it before something too catastrophic happens. Who'll teach the kids to read otherwise? (I love the way both Elyan and Maraki are becoming "uncles"!) Thanks, Hasimir!

Really intrigued what the next chapter will bring! The Prologue and Chapter 1 were both so different that without mention of the land awaiting them you would think they were from 2 different stories. Still each one had a hook that together makes them hard to pull away. One suggestion: in Chapter 1 the use of repeated characters and hyphens to indicate stuttering/deep emotion affecting the voice/crying felt a little overused and made it marginally more difficult to read. You could probably lose some of that device and still leave the reader with the same impression. For what it's worth... Hope the next chapter is not too far off!

That thought occurred to me, but I thought maybe I had misread and meant to go back to check it. Also realized I couldn't remember for sure which boat it had been that had the incriminating evidence. Guess the attempts to confuse Ares and Atlantis are working for more than just the characters in the story... Thanks for the reminder, Daddydavek!

Gotta love your titles, CJ. "Ballmail" one was one of my favorites, in particular because its namesake enabled Shane to keep Trevor from being an ass -- with the best of intentions -- and driving Shane away. Gotta love that boy for seeing through Trevor and making him see sense. It helps keep their relationship equal, which is critical for both of them and for the long-term success of their relationship. The other aspect that I loved about this chapter is that Trevor and Shane are making plans with Joel and Lisa to be partners in a binational/bicontinent chartering company. As long as some twist does note mess up those plans... Glad you're back!

I did not find there to be too many details: even the best warrior needs to pause occasionally to breathe and assess her/his environment. The opportunity to see Elyran and Maraki's relationship stabilize and grow to include this wonderful host family was heartwarming. One does worry about what the Mogul Emperor and the rest of his bad guys might do to them to manipulate Elyran, but I was certainly glad to let that worry rest for a chapter. I also wonder how Maraki and Elyran will learn to manage their physical relationship once Elyran has recovered. Thanks, Hasimir!

Please, Sir, may we 'ave some more gruel, err... I mean, Caleb & Braet!

Great story, Roan! I do hope that there is more coming 'cause Jake and Callum are so real already. Loved the comment about being a jazz fanatic pushing past the limit: not because I dislike jazz but because my flute teacher in high school used to say when we were tuning up in the local orchestra, "Close enough for jazz." Never was quite certain if he disliked jazz or just was channeling his perverse sense of humor.

Hard to top the other praise, Owl, but it was a super chapter. Your writing has been sorely missed along with Billy, David, and all the others -- even Sam (bitch... ). I am so glad that David finally thought about (1) letting Billy -- and soon Annie? -- use his phone to call Seth, (2) starting to realize that not saying "I love you" is going to make it any easier, and (3) figuring out a way to stay. The one point no has yet mentioned is the revelation that Annie is not from that area. From early on I wondered if there was a family connection with David's father or his mother (now that's a REAL bitch -- and no emoticons to soften the feeling here). I can't help wondering if that possibility is going to be reality. Certainly there is something going on with the paperwork she is taking such pains to hide. Thanks, Owl, and like the others I definitely hope that the next chapter is soon! John