Damphir - 11. Chapter 11

Slamming the door of my room after me makes no difference whatever because he simply opens it and walks in, shutting it quietly behind him.

“Get out of my room.”

“Actually,” he says, throwing himself into the chair in front of the fire, “I think we have already established that it’s my room.”

“Then I’ll get the hell out.”

“And go where?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care, as long as it’s far away from you.” God I hate that smirk on his face, as if he’s the master of the world and is just playing with one of his toys.

“Haven’t we had this conversation before? You’re not a prisoner, Glory. The door is unlocked and no one will stop you walking through it.”

“Fuck you then, I will.”

Now this is where the vampire takes over and I do stupid things. The cat loves comfort and warmth and safety and the vampire cares only for pride. They fey doesn’t give a damn either way and the human, if there is one, doesn’t care which one does what as long as they’re not tearing each other apart to do it. So the stupid vampire and his stupid pride takes me all the way across the room, not looking at Sar, not giving in to the almost unbearable urge to look at him; with his back ramrod straight and every intention of walking straight out into the night. What happens once I get into the night has not factored large in the vampire’s head yet. When we get out there you can be sure that cat is going to have something to say about, and there is no way that fey’s wings are coming out. I am going to need all the clothes I have to stop myself from freezing. And yes, this inner dialogue between my four natures IS getting a bit old and weird now. It was a lot easier when I didn’t know they were there.

“What the FUCK?” I still have my hand on the door handle but the door, which I had opened a bit, has suddenly slammed shut and the shock is making me a bit slow to realise that the reason it closed is because there is a hand on it. Following the hand I come to a face that isn't cool and sarcastic any more. In fact it is looking particularly pissed. Cat brindles and vamp squares his shoulder; human and fey are in danger of pissing themselves.

“I thought you said I was free to go.”

“Do you really think I am going to let you walk out of here and freeze to death?”

“What happens when I walk out of here has nothing to do with you.”

“The hell it doesn’t.”

“What the hell makes you think that it does?”

“You’re my guest and I feel some responsibility for you.”

“Some responsibility? You kidnapped me... kidnapped me and brought me here to this godforsaken place, then abandoned me. THAT’s how much responsibility you feel. The last time you came here you tried to rape me and ended up beating the crap out of me and breaking my rib... THAT’s how much responsibility you feel. You say you can’t stop thinking of me, that I fascinate you, that you’ll always take care of me and then you...”

“Shut up you stupid little bitch.” Shock stops me dead and I just stare at him as he grips me around the wrist and drags me away from the door. I wrench my hand free. Good, he looks a bit surprised that I’m strong enough to do that. Well there are a lot more surprises coming up. He’s not seen me at full strength yet and, even though I’m not quite there, I’m a lot closer than I was the last time he was here.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll scram your fucking eyes out.”

“Ohhh, is the little pussy cat feeling a bit threatened by the big bad vampire?” he purrs and advances. Oh no you don’t.

“Try me, vampire and you’ll find out just how sharp the claws on this cat are.”

Touching his ribs with a finger he smiles. “You forget; I already have and survived.

I’m almost as tall as he is and when I draw myself completely erect I can just about look straight into his eyes. I don’t think he quite expected this and I don’t think he quite knows what to do. Good, keep him off balance and I just might make it through the door. Need to get closer though.

Circling, with my eyes still on his, watching for the slightest twitch that will tell me he’s about to attack I manoeuvre myself away from the wall and back towards the door. When I sense the way is clear I take a step back and... find myself flattened against the wall next to the door. “Bastard.” He’s bigger than me physically and he’s got my hands pinned behind me. I can’t struggle without dislocating my shoulders, although that might be an option.

Surprisingly he reaches out with the other hand and opens the door. “Is this what you want, little cat? Is this really what you want? If it is I’ll let you go. I’ll let you walk out into the night to freeze to death or fall at the hands of the hunters or one of the millions who are stalking the night, looking for those of your kind, with death in their eyes and hands. If it’s what you really want I’ll let you go and never give you a second thought.” Is he serious? Is he really going to let me go? My heart is beating so fast it hurts and suddenly I’m not sure if I want to go or not.

“But first...” Before I have a chance to really think about my options he takes me by surprise again, lowering his head and touching his lips to mine. Oh God the electricity that courses through me. Dimly I’m aware that he has let go of my arms and I bring them up to encircle him as he deepens the kiss. Oh god... oh god this kiss... this kiss. I think I’m going to pass out. If I pressed my body any closer to his it would come out the other side but I have to get closer... closer...

His fangs graze my lip but the taste of blood only makes the kiss sweeter. I open my eyes and I’m caught like a butterfly on a pin by those eyes which bore into mine, red tinged, with fire burning in their centre. Very briefly I wonder if he sees the same in mine because I am on fire... and then... and then... His hand grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer. His fingers, entwined in my hair, brush against my ear and I have no idea if it was by accident or design. When he does it again, in my already highly aroused state it makes explosions go off in my head and when his lips leave mine and trail kisses down over my chin and throat I purr and let my head fall back, rubbing against his fingers, drawing closer to the bliss.

At first I don’t even notice when his fangs slide into my neck, I am so lost in the bliss he could have done anything to me and I wouldn’t have cared... but when he stops brushing my ear with his fingers it begins to sink in. What the hell am I doing? There’s a vampire holding on to me... and he’s drinking from me... and I’m LETTING him.

“Get the fuck off me you... you... vampire.” My scream seems to have distracted him, at least enough for me to push him off far enough to get a good swipe at his face with my claws. He backs off a little. Good. Now if I can just get through the door before... Oh shit... noooo.

My body hits the floor like a hammer on an anvil and he knocks the breath out of me again. His hand around my ankle is like a vice and as much as I try to claw my way away from him, even though my claws are leaving deep scratches in the polished wood floor, he keeps drawing me in until he can close the door again.

Finally he lets go of me and I spring to my feet, making a break for the door again. Before I reach it he grabs my wrist, spins me round and throws me on the bed.

“You fucking bitch, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? You could have blinded me.”

“Good.” I spit in his face, “I wish I had.”

“Why does everything have to be such a fucking drama with you?”

“With me?” I can hardly believe what he’s saying. I mean he’s the one who’s got me pinned down on the bed for God’s sake. “You’re the one who always ends up fucking me up. You’re the one who broke my ribs, who kidnapped me after beating the crap out of me, who’s holding me prisoner here. And I’m the one who’s being dramatic? Fuck you.”

If I can just... just... My hands are pinned behind my head and from that position I don’t have a chance of getting them free. And he’s straddling my legs so I can’t kick him either, although you bet I’m trying my best. If I squirm really hard I might throw him off balance and if I can...

“Be still little cat. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You already are. Let go of me.”

“If I do will you promise not to do anything stupid like trying to scram out my eyes or make a run for the door.”

“Not a chance,” I hiss through grinding teeth. “As soon as you let me go I am going to do my very best to scram your eyes out and then head straight out the door.”

“Then I can’t let you go.” Leaning down he kisses me again and as much as I struggle I can’t stop him. Ah shit... why does it feel so good when he kisses me? Why do I suddenly feel that I really don’t want to fight him after all? Why...?

“You drive me crazy little cat,” he hisses. “I don’t know if I want to fight you or fuck you; kiss you or kill you. When I’m with you a madness takes me and I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t bear to be with you and I can’t bear it when we’re apart. What are you doing to me?”

I can’t speak; I’m panting too hard, my heart beating too fast. What is he saying? “Please...” I don’t even know what I’m begging for. It’s just... just...

I close my eyes as his lips find mine again and he lowers himself onto me, his body hard and lean, his muscles flexing as he still hold my hands behind my head. What am I doing? He’s a crazy man. He’s kissing me now but five minutes ago he was dragging me by the ankle and before that he was drinking my blood and in five minutes time... what will he be doing to me then?

“No... no I... I don’t want this. I can’t... I can’t. Let me go. Let me GO.”

Somehow I manage to get one leg free and bring it up sharply between his. He roars but, to my surprise and dismay he doesn’t let me go. Instead he snarls at me and plants his knees on my thighs to keep them pinned down.

“You’re hurting me.”

“Good. You’re lucky I don’t kill you.”

“Right... really lucky.”

“Shut up.”

“Like fuck.”

“Bitch.”

“Bastard.”

Who knows where it would have gone if he hadn’t chosen that moment to grip my wrists with just one hand and, with the other, rip open my shirt and run his fingers over my belly. “Beautiful boy, tell me you hate my touch. Tell me you don’t want me.”

Treacherous cat, he arches his back and purrs. Gritting my teeth I batter him down but now he knows and I’m lost. He raises his head with triumph in his eyes.

“No...no please...” I gasp but it’s too late, way too late.

“So you like this little cat,” he whispers stroking my belly and making my whole body tremble. No. No I can’t. I have to keep focus, have to... have to... ah god that’s good, that’s so... so...

“My ears... scratch my ears.”

“What?”

Is he stupid? Doesn’t he speak English? He’s already seen what... “Ah... ah... ahhhhh.” Cat purrs and I lose control of him.

Letting go of my arms Sar moves his head to nuzzle my ear, still stroking my stomach. “Oh God... Oh God...”

“Yeah... you’re liking this.”

Still purring cat is launched into the bliss and my arms go around Sar with no volition from me. I pull him down and arch against him. I know it’s wrong. I don’t want it. I want to stop but cat...cat... can't.

“No...”

Somehow he’s sitting up and supporting me and I’m kissing him and my shirt’s gone and his hands are... Oh... oh no...no...not that. Not... thaaat.

“No. Stop. Don’t. Not that... not... noooo...” but it’s too late. He’s found the spot and now cat is lying back purring while fey is screaming, throwing back his head and convulsing in Sar’s arms.

“So it’s true,” he murmurs against my throat. “It’s really true.”

“Stop...please... please I...”

Still caressing my shoulders with one hand he moves the other to the small of my back and I bend backwards over it as he kisses down my body. I’m trembling all over and I feel... I feel...

“Tell me to stop. Tell me you don’t want to go any further.” He whispers into my belly which is twitching and going into spasms of bliss. The bastard knows I can’t; he knows I couldn’t if my life depended on it.

I feel myself lifted and twisted and somehow now Sar is on the bed and I’m resting on his chest and... and... “Oh fuck... oh fuck...” I’m inside him. I can feel his muscles contracting around me and hear his moans and... and his hands... and his... his... Cat howls and fey bucks and vampire lowers his head and bites down as the whole of me screams silently and begins to move with an age old rhythm that is pure instinct.

Parts of my brain are exploding in fireworks and other parts are screaming at me to stop. This is not something I want, not something I ever wanted. I don’t want to do it but he... his hands are playing me like no one ever has before and when he... when he... the screaming stops and the fireworks consume all of me.

Cat screeches his release and immediately withdraws unknowing and uncaring of whether Sar has achieved his, although later it is pretty obvious that he did. By now Sar’s hands have fallen away and are still bunched in the bedclothes. Once fully consumed by the frenzy I no longer needed the stimulation of my aripa caz to keep me in the mood. I could no more have stopped than have stopped my heart.

But now... now it’s gone. The bliss, the frenzy, the desire, the pleasure and all that’s left is... is... Collapsing I roll away from him and curl in a ball weeping silently, not wanting him to see. I feel violated.

“Get your hands off me.” I didn’t mean to scream so loud but fuck he just... he just... and I... Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. I feel... I feel... I don’t know how I feel. How could he do that to me? How could anyone do that to me?

“Glory? What...?”

Don't let him touch me. Please God don’t let him touch me.

“Glory, what’s wrong? What did I do? I thought...”

Oh no, oh no... I feel... I’m gonna... Flying off the bed I barely make it to the bathroom before vomiting into the toilet. Collapsing to my knees I empty my stomach and keep retching, holding myself, trying to keep in the terrible pain that is almost physical.

“Glory please, just tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something to hurt you?”

Did he... did he...? Suddenly a dam bursts and I’m blindingly angry. “Did you do something? Did you... did... you...? You bastard. You raped me.” For an instant he looked as if he was going to laugh but as soon as he realises I’m serious the smile vanishes.

“What? Why...? Why would you say something like that? I was pleasing you. You wanted...”

“No,” I scream, “No I didn’t.”

“But...”

“You made me.”

“Glory you’re not making sense. I didn’t force you to do anything. Are you ill?”

Suddenly I’m on my feet and I have no idea how I got here. I don’t remember getting up. “You fucking bastard. How can you...? You knew. You KNEW I couldn’t help myself. You made me. You touched me – my ears, my belly. Cat can’t stop it. I can’t stop the bliss even if I want to... and my back...” I close my eyes and swallow a deep shudder passing through me. “Fougue said no one touches there without invitation. I can’t stop it. I can’t control what happens to me. I don’t even know what I’m doing and then the frenzy and... and I can’t ... and you didn’t... and I DIDN’T INVITE YOU.” I scream in his face and run leaving Sar visibly shaken.

I don’t know where I’m going. I have no thoughts in my head at all. I’m running because I just can’t stand still. Half way across the bedroom my legs give way and I fall to my knees sobbing uncontrollably.

“Glory, please. I swear I didn’t know. I swear it.”

Hugging myself tight, tight, tight, I rock; I can’t stop the pain. I can’t stop it hurting so bad I want to die just to stop it. “You always hurt me.” It comes out in a whine but I can’t help it.

“I... I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Look... I’ll just leave.”

“You keep running away.” I can’t look at him. I don’t want him here and I don’t want him gone. I can’t... I don’t know what I want. I want to scream and scream and scream. I want to beg him. Please, please hold me; make it alright. I want to tell him I love him and all I need is for him to show me, not tell me, that he feels the same. I want to scream it at him but all I can do croak... “You hurt me and then you run away. Please don’t run away.”

But he does. He can’t cope, doesn’t know what to do ... and so he runs away, leaving me alone and hopeless.

I can’t move. I can’t get up, I can’t lie down. I can’t do anything but kneel here, crying, bleeding, dying.

And then Rover comes. He doesn’t say anything, just scoops me up and lies with me on the bed, stroking my shoulder and arm as I cling to him in desperation until I fall asleep.