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    Sasha Distan
  • Sasha Distan
  • Author
  • 06/14/2013
  • 879 Words
  • 6,023 Views
  • 9 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Bad Stereotypes - 24. Wednesday 31st July 2013

To my absolute and total lack of surprise, Zoltan was no longer speaking to me. Fuck speaking, he wasn’t even partially civil of my presence at the South Alaska, and he was not backwards in being vocal about it. I stayed behind the bar and sent Batty out to collect glasses if Zoltan was in, and I took my breaks upstairs in the flat instead of going outside. It was like his personality had been replaced by the angrier version of Zupan.

Zupan, who had damned me with one breath when he refused to tell me where Issac lived, and I kicked myself to think that I had never asked to go to his place, because the flat above the South Alaska had been close and convenient and private. I’d jogged to The Fish and Antlers after my run-in with Zupan and found it shut. On Monday of course, everything was shut, so I’d done what I did best, and gone for a really long run.

My brain started up doing the real thinking after about an hour of sweating.

I filtered the things I said in front of Issac because I knew that I would offend him. Since coming to live in the city by the sea I had kept my social circle small, restricted pretty much to straight people and goths, or straight people who were goths and rockers, and Issac. And that was it. I’d nearly beat up that little scene-boi in the club for being camp. As I ran, I knew I had to admit, that there were things wrong with me.

I hated guys who were like me but much more so. And now I needed to figure out why. I wanted nothing more than to have Issac back in my arms, to rewind time and let him… and even in my head I couldn’t think it. I loved Issac. I hated lied when I’d said it; I loved him. And we’d never actually talked about sex. When he’d been nervous of me leaving I’d just told him what I wanted and he’d gone with it. I’d confidently assumed that I could just kept getting my own way until… Until I screwed up.

And how I had screwed up.

Tuesday I went back to The Fish and Antlers at lunch service, but all Micky could tell me in between seating wealthy diner’s was that Issac had called Big Mack the day before and said that he wouldn’t be in. That was it. He gave me a half a hug and a soft grin, but he couldn’t tell me anything else.

I lay in bed that night feeling worse than I had done any night since I’d sat and cried for about six hours when I was seventeen. The inside of my brain hurt, my chest hurt. My shoulder hurt from my collision with the ground and my shin hurt from my impact with Zupan, but those things I could handle. I had no name for the pain that lived inside me, but it ate away at my brain until all I had left were the shitty things I’d said to Issac, and the look on his face when he’d left.

Wednesday dawned hot and bright, so I ran. I arrived at the restaurant to find it locked up, and sat panting on the step with a bottle of water and my shirt stuck to my back as the day grew hotter. I stared along the street in the direction of the sea, glinting and glowing in the sun, and if I hadn’t been staring so hard I would have missed him altogether.

A dark shape against the bright sea, a profile I knew in the back of my mind and the front of my heart. I leapt up, dropped the rest of the water, half a syllable out of my mouth before I saw him see me, before I saw him back off, turn away as though he didn’t know me.

“Issac!” and thank god I was faster than anyone else, because I caught him. Fresh from the market in shorts with his hi-tech leg on, which meant he was running a little bit, with a blue plastic bag of groceries in one hand, “Wait.”

“Why?” that one word was hard and flat, and Issac looked down at me like he was really pleased he could look down at me.

“I’m sorry.” Nothing, Issac looked at me like that I’d said didn’t matter, “I’m sorry. I love you. I-”

“I don’t care Bay.”

I stopped breathing.

“I don’t care.” He pushed me away, a hand on my chest, and I moved to grab at him, but got the grocery bag instead, “I don’t care. I’m not going back to being hurt.” Issac pushed me away, dropped the bag, “I’m through with you.”

"You said you couldn't live without me!"

"Well I was wrong!"

I don’t remember falling to my knees, but I remember watching him walk away. I think I yelled something.

When he was out of sight I noticed the blue bag sitting by me with the contents spilled. Lamb wrapped in cling film, candy striped beetroot, golden carrots, a cauliflower that looked like a lizard.

He was thinking of me.

Copyright © 2013 Sasha Distan; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

aleconfire

Ok, I keep meaning/trying to write a long review of the story so far, but I keep accidentally deleting it. So, I'm just gonna keep it short.

1. I'm loving this story. I really appreciate the complexities of the characters and the storytelling style. also your writing is fantastic.

2.I actually really feel bad for bay. I hope he can deal with his assault and internalized oppression without destroying anything or anyone (especially himself)

3. good to know Isaac isn't the special snowflake it seemed like he was. He was the only major character that was kind of a mary sue, so it's good to start seeing some errors in him too. that said, I also hope he can deal with his shit soon. He's not having a healthy or mature reaction to bay, and the sooner he recognizes that the better.

4. I don't know what the fucking deal is with the z twins, but i find zupan infuriating. like Joffrey Baratheon infuriating. Like I want his head on a pike at the end of the story infuriating. I seems like you're setting him up to have just been "testing" and "guiding" Bay through some sort of tough love, but he's given Bay no love and no reason to tolerate his bullshit. He's a bully, simple as that

Kitt

I smell a lot more to Issac's back story than we know. That's an awful lot of hurt just cause a guy who is still young and really doesn't know what he wants didn't want to bottom for him, Granted Bay could have said it a whole lot better, but I this seems a much bigger deal than we can understand why at this point.

 

You certainly like to stir the pot don't you?

Sasha Distan
On 06/15/2013 05:53 AM, aleconfire said:
Ok, I keep meaning/trying to write a long review of the story so far, but I keep accidentally deleting it. So, I'm just gonna keep it short.

1. I'm loving this story. I really appreciate the complexities of the characters and the storytelling style. also your writing is fantastic.

2.I actually really feel bad for bay. I hope he can deal with his assault and internalized oppression without destroying anything or anyone (especially himself)

3. good to know Isaac isn't the special snowflake it seemed like he was. He was the only major character that was kind of a mary sue, so it's good to start seeing some errors in him too. that said, I also hope he can deal with his shit soon. He's not having a healthy or mature reaction to bay, and the sooner he recognizes that the better.

4. I don't know what the fucking deal is with the z twins, but i find zupan infuriating. like Joffrey Baratheon infuriating. Like I want his head on a pike at the end of the story infuriating. I seems like you're setting him up to have just been "testing" and "guiding" Bay through some sort of tough love, but he's given Bay no love and no reason to tolerate his bullshit. He's a bully, simple as that

glad to have inspired such a strong reaction. I actually really like Zupan, though he scares the heebie-jebus out of my some times.
Sasha Distan
On 06/15/2013 05:54 AM, Kitt said:
I smell a lot more to Issac's back story than we know. That's an awful lot of hurt just cause a guy who is still young and really doesn't know what he wants didn't want to bottom for him, Granted Bay could have said it a whole lot better, but I this seems a much bigger deal than we can understand why at this point.

 

You certainly like to stir the pot don't you?

just hand me a big wooden spoon and i'm ya guy.
Daithi

At least Bay is thinking, he's going back over everything he knows what he did and he knows somethings wrong. Will he be able to pinpoint and fix the problem, cause it's more than just always wanting to top a day never bottom. Is his love for Isaac strong enough for him to find ally be truthfully to himself. And Isaac is he willing to work to overcome whatever might have happened in the past. Cause yeah Bay screwed up and badly but the Isaac we seen would have at least would have talked to Bay.. So right now both are mega hurting I really hope they can sort it out.

Lisa

I totally get where Zoltan is coming from. Bay deeply hurt his best friend. Zoltan should be pissed at Bay. I know your readers are talking about something that must have happened in Issac's life to make him so unforgiving. Maybe so. Maybe he was burned big time by someone he was in love with. Maybe he was in love with someone who had hang-ups also about being gay. Idk...I know that it can't possibly be b/c Bay didn't want to bottom. It was what Bay said. "I'm not that gay!" Don't forget the exclamation point, just to drive the knife in Issac's back deeper. So by saying what Bay said, he was totally insulting Issac and all the other bottoms in the world. Bay really has a fucked up thinking process. My God, there are straight boys who get into playing back there; it has nothing to do with being gay! Ok, maybe a little bit, but still. lol It was the absolute wrong thing to say to your b/c who's been doing that since you guys have been having sex. :(

 

I'm glad Issac forgot (left on purpose?), the grocery bag. Of course Issac is thinking about Bay. Does Bay think that he can just shut off his emotions, like out of sight, out of mind? I'm sure Issac is thinking about Bay as much as Bay is thinking about Issac.

 

Great angst-ridden chapter, Sasha! :)

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