Attraction - 19. Chapter 19 – The Hole

As I came back that night, I went straight to a bar to drown my sorrows. Jenny was out in Idaho, visiting family. The bar was empty, and the kid serving drinks gave me a surprised look.

“Hey there Jon. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be celebrating Turkey Day with family.”

“Clinton, could you spare me the interrogation until after I’ve had some alcohol in me?”

“Are we doing scotch tonight?”

“Yes please. Can I start with vodka shot first?” I placed the card on the counter, “Keep it open.”

“I guess.” He eyed me warily, placing the drinks in front of me. I downed the shot and immediately started on the scotch.

“Need to get drunk quickly.”

“Rough day?”

Clinton was the breed of hot maleness that was born to remind people like me that there are things in this world that you could never have, no matter how much you wish for it. He was buff, tattooed, dressed to kill in vests that showed off pipes that give gay men erections, and he was straight. More than that, opposite to the macho cockiness you’d expect, he also had a vulnerability that was endearing. So you couldn’t even hate his for the cock tease he was. His sad eyes never seemed to judge and made you believe you could share all of your life’s miseries with him. He had obviously figured out something was wrong with me. When I started considering whether to answer his question, I thought,

“Why don’t you tell me first why you’re here tonight?”

He smiled at me. “It’s an easy answer. No family. I’m an orphan.”

It took me a while to find the right response, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“You’re fine. My dad died in a car accident when I was a kid and mom died two years ago of breast cancer. No brothers or sisters.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Not at the moment. At least no one serious enough.”

I nodded as the pieces fell in place. “I would imagine with a guy like you, girls must be tripping over each other to have your babies.”

He laughed at that, it was a genuine, hearty laugh.

“You’d think so wouldn’t you? Tell you what, as a bartender, it’s easy to get tail, but very difficult to get someone to settle down with. We are not viewed as marriage material. Plus timings do not help. Girlfriends want to hang out in the night on weekends. Not be served drinks by him.”

“Then working at a Gay bar must be worse.”

“Not really. Most guys are sweet and back off when they know I’m not interested. It’s more difficult to resist a hot woman when she throws herself at you.”

That made a lot of sense. What an articulate person Clinton was. I had never looked beyond his always smiling hot face and alluring body. I downed my drink and dropped my head on the counter with a thud.

“Want another?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He placed the next drink in front of me wordlessly. I heard another bar stool being pulled. Then Clinton’s voice floated in, greeting the newcomer, asking, “How can I help you?” Having attended to the guy Clinton came back to me.

“So. Now that you know about me, why don’t you let off some steam? What’s up?”

I raised my head. “My mom’s a bitch.”

“Really? What happened?”

Floodgates opened and I recounted the day’s events explaining how much I needed Kent’s parents to like me and what a major mission of sabotage my Mom had run. I told him how she tried to explain herself on the taxi ride back.

‘You don’t love me Jon, you only love your dad. Now that you have Kent’s family you’d leave me. How do you think I feel when I see you talking to me like I am trash but gushing at Lydia?’

“Can you believe it? She was justifying her actions.”

“Sounds like your mother is an emotional person.”

“Does it? But why are those emotions never positive? I have never had her call me to say how much she misses me. That kind of emotional would be a welcome change.” I took another large sip.

“Some people are like that. Their way of showing affection is in the form of complaints.”

He was beginning to piss me off with this defense of her actions “Whose side are you on?” I asked.

He just shook his head. “No one’s, man! I’m just trying to help you make sense of it.”

“Well, if it involves justifying her then don’t.”

“I’m not justifying her. Just trying to see where she might be coming from.”

“I don’t care. She’s finished the only relationship I ever had. I’ll never forgive her.”

Clinton was confused. “Wait a minute” she asked. “You never told me Kent broke up with you over this.”

“Well, he hasn’t. But he will.”

“Why would he? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“You don’t understand. Family is very important to him. They’ll never accept me after this episode.”

“I don’t see why they’d hold it against you either.”

“You don’t understand man.”

“No I don’t.” Clinton was being sincere I think.

As I was trying to tax my brain for some explanation, the other dude on the bar called for another drink. I turned to see who it was and nearly fell off the stool. Well at least my elbow slipped from the bar.

In front of me, wearing a sports jacket and slacks, his brown hair disarrayed stylishly, was my ‘train guy’.