Subtle Beauty - 5. Chapter 5

“Well, hello to you too, Coop.” Sarcasm suited him well. How could it not? That must have been the sexiest half-smile I’d ever seen in my life!

“Hello,” I hurriedly said, “but what are you doing here?”

“My you’re so welcoming.” He scanned my face. I didn’t dare gaze into his eyes, but didn’t look away either. “Can I at least come in first?”

No. “Um, come in.” It was supposed to be an invitation, but came out more as a question. With a weary step, he crossed the threshold. I motioned for him to sit on the couch and I sat beside him. The couch, besides being slightly old, was rather small too so we sat close together.

“So can I ask now what you’re doing here?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he looked around my apartment with exaggerated interest. How curious.

His silence as he examined my apartment unnerved me. The whole place, including my bedroom, was just somewhat bigger than his room, so I felt very insecure.

“Nice place,” he finally commented.

Did he mean that? “Thanks.”

With a smirk, he said, “Why do you always say things in the form of a question?”

“I don’t.” Shit.

“You just did.”

“Sorry, I usually do that when I’m not sure what to say,” I blurted out without meaning to which earned me a smile. Do that again please!

My curiosity reached its peak, so I asked, “Did you mean what you said or were you just being nice?”

“Which part?” The playful tone in his voice made me think. Was everything just a game with him?

“You said my apartment is ‘nice’,” I replied without trying to hide the exasperation in my voice.

Oblivious, he said, “Of course. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”

Ignoring the feeling I got that he was disappointed I didn’t believe him, I said, “But this whole place is just slightly bigger than your room.”

“So what?” His voice had an edge on it. “It’s clean.”

The look I gave him almost made him squirm.

“Ok, it can do with a bit of cleaning. But the main thing is it’s yours.”

Too many questions popped into my mind at the same time. Didn’t he like living with Grandpa? Was he being forced by his parents to live there? Would he rather get a place by himself? Was he, perhaps, uh jealous of my independence?

“I know what you’re thinking.” Vern had said the same thing earlier. Was I that transparent? “I love living with Grandpa. I just admire that you manage to live by yourself.”

“Barely manage,” I corrected with a smile. Mich stared at me with hope in his eyes. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I abruptly got up.

Keeping my back to him, I moved toward the kitchen corner of my apartment. “Would you like something to drink? I ran out of root beer and soft drinks, so you can either have,” I paused as I looked at the contents of the refrigerator, “cold or lukewarm water.” There was a half-open mango juice inside, but I already drank straight from the bottle previously. I just hoped that the embarrassment wasn’t that obvious in my voice.

“I’ll just have cold water please.” After some pause, he added, “Or we can go to the grocery store if you want. I’m a little hungry anyway, so we can drive through somewhere. Care for some Japanese take-out?”

Unmindful of my tight budget, I readily agreed to hide my earlier embarrassment.

********************

Perspiration dotted my forehead although the grocery store was fully air conditioned. We were next in line for the cashier with a cartful of everything. Mich grabbed anything he thought I needed and I was too ashamed to tell him I couldn’t afford half of what he took. I estimated the total purchases to be $200, money I didn’t have. There was no other way, I’d have to use the credit card Dad gave me. But I didn’t want to be a burden.

It was our turn. The numbers on the register increased as more items were punched. My heart would skip a beat whenever the machine let out an audible beep.

“That will be $198.49, please,” the cashier said in a voice devoid of emotion.

Where were robbers when you need them?

“$198.49, please,” she repeated in a stern voice. I peered at her and she had this little frown on her face which made me feel like I was the dumbest person in the world.

“Oh, yes, sorry.” Fumbling for my wallet, I fished for the credit card, but Mich quickly offered his card to the cashier. Blushing profusely, I took hold of the pushcart and made my way out of the store.

A couple of minutes later, Mich and I walked the short distance to his car with him slightly on the lead. We loaded the groceries into his trunk in silence then climbed in front when we finished.

“So no objections to Japanese, I hope,” he said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

In barely a whisper, I said, “I’ll pay you back.”

“What did you say?” he asked without looking at me.

“I said I’ll pay you back.” Dammit, it was slightly louder than I intended it to be. Being with him was like a roller coaster ride, my emotions varied from happiness, excitement, disappointment, embarrassment and confusion.

“Hey,” there was worry in his voice, “is everything ok?”

“No.”

He sighed. “Ok, you’re upset with me. Again.” His body tensed up. “Whatever it is, can we just talk about it later?”

I answered with a slight nod.

We stopped at a Japanese take out. Mich ordered beef misono, pork tonkatsu, chicken teriyaki, prawn tempura, yakisoba and california maki. My mouth watered just hearing him order.

We were finally back at my apartment. Plastic bags littered the floor as Mich and I eyed each other. Remembering Vern’s gift earlier, I felt sorry for myself. I’m such a charity case. More than anything, I wanted to cry. If only he would leave...

“What’s wrong, Coop?” The care in his voice flowed through me and the need to cry got stronger, but I held the tears back.

“Nothing.” I closed my eyes, the crack in my voice was unmistakable. Opening them, I added, “You didn’t need to pay for all of these. I’ll pay you back, ok?”

His reply was, “You don’t need to do that.” He looked at me guardedly, as if he expected me to cry at any minute.

“Am I that miserable you feel the need to give me charity?” Quickly, I turned from him as a tear fell down my cheek which I wiped with the back of my hand.

“Hey,” he stepped forward, but I backed away, “I’m not giving you charity. This is my way of saying sorry for acting like a jerk yesterday.”

Did he really just say that he was a jerk?

After a while, he added, “I’m a jerk, ok?”

A smile formed on my lips. “Ok, you’re a jerk.”

“Hey,” he protested, “you enjoyed saying that, didn’t you?”

“No,” the smile turned into a full-blown grin, “I was just agreeing with what you said.”

“Riiiiight.”

Our eyes met and we both laughed.

With my sides aching after laughing so hard, I said, “Why can’t you just say sorry like a normal person?”

He winked. “I’m a jerk, remember? This is the best jerks can do concerning an apology.” We avoided each other’s eyes lest another laughing bout followed.

“Seriously though, I can’t accept this.” My eyes did their own talking. I appreciate your gift, but it’s just too much.

It was a while before he spoke. Finally, “Ok, why don’t you just work for it?”

“Work for it?” I repeated. Huh? “How?”

“Will you tutor me everyday for a whole month?”

I waited for him to say he was joking. Any minute now. Any minute. It’s coming, I can feel it. But nothing. His expression remained expectant.

“You’re serious?” I asked in disbelief.

His brows met. “Um, yeah.”

“But...” why? “You seem like a smart guy. Surely you don’t need my help.”

“I don’t, ok, if that’s what you mean by not needing your help. But with daily swim practice and the exams next month, I need someone who will guide me on what areas to focus on and set up a review schedule for me”

“That sounds logical.”

His smile broadened. “Does that mean you’re agreeing?”

Fuck, I said to myself.

Instead of answering, I picked up a plastic bag and started putting things away. Before long, the litter of bags on the floor were gone. When I turned toward Mich again, the big smile was still on his face as if time stood still while I was busy with the groceries.

“Ok, I’ll help you. Just wipe that smile off your face.” Don’t stop smiling, please don’t stop.

“Good, can we eat now? I’m starving.”

We moved to the couch and laid the containers on the coffee table. Using only chopsticks, we ate straight from the containers. Mich surprised me with how deftly he was able to use the two sticks. Not to be outdone, I showed him I could handle them well too. He must have been really hungry because he ate almost as much as I did. We fished for the maki at the same time, but he gave way.

“Go ahead,” he said, flicking his chopsticks toward me.

With my cheeks reddening, I put the whole thing in my mouth. Mich looked on with a pleased smile on his face.

“This is what I like about take-outs,” he said while I cleared away the containers, “no blasted dishes to wash afterwards.”

My laughter filled the room. “You don’t like washing dishes?”

“It’s my least liked chore,” he replied with a small laugh.

“Do you even do chores?” I teased as I sat beside him on the couch.

He gave me a gentle shove.

“Hey, watch it.”

“By the way, I like your haircut.” He’d noticed? My heart beat so loud, I was afraid he could hear it.

“Thanks,” I said in a small voice, “courtesy of Vern.”

“I kinda figured that.” He was smiling as he gazed at my hair. What was he smiling about? I thought he liked it. “I saw her leaving your apartment earlier.”

That distracted me from my worrying. “You saw her? Did she apologize? Explain? What did she say?” Are you ok? I almost added.

“Whoa, what’s with all the questions?” He waved both hands in front of him as he spoke.

Feeling foolish, I said, “Sorry. So, um, what happened?”

“As I told you, I saw her. She didn’t see me though.” A cryptic smile appeared on his lips.

“I’m confused.” Did I say that in my head or aloud?

“I hid when I saw her.” Aloud it was. “It wouldn’t have mattered, though. She seemed distracted and sad, so she probably wouldn’t have noticed me even if we passed each other. Any idea why she was like that?”

“Absolutely none.” I shook my head. “Are you sure you didn’t just imagine it? I was with her for hours and she was her usual self.” Maybe she was more affected by what happened between me and Mich than she let on. Must call her later.

“I know her too, so seeing her face like that unsettled me. I mentioned it to you because, well, I got worried.” A tinge of red appeared on his cheeks.

“You still have feelings for her, haven’t you?” Why did I want to know? Because I’m jealous, that’s why.

“Of course. Why do you think I avoided her?” Whatever he saw on my face, he added, “I do understand that we’re over, so don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Silence. If he discerned the worry through my expression, it was only a matter of time before he caught on to my attraction towards him. Good going, Coop. You’re so obvious.

“I think Grandpa must be worried sick about you by now,” I commented, looking at the clock for emphasis.

“Nah, he knows I’m here.” What? “But I might as well get going. We still have school tomorrow.”

Moving towards the door, I opened it for him.

“Does this mean we’re friends now?” Please let that be in my head, please.

“Of course.”