Hot Wheels - 4. Touched: A Virgin No More...Well at least my lips aren't

This is a crazy world we live in. A few weeks ago I had almost no men in my life and now I have two. One of them was expecting something of me that I have been dreading all week and today is that day. I nervously made my way to my room on Friday after class, hoping I could throw something decent on before meeting Marco's parents.

"SURPRISE....!" were the first words I heard when opening the door. Marco's parents got here earlier than expected. "Oh our apologies... We thought it was Marco..." his father said. He was dressed in a suit and his wife wore a short dress.

"I'm Andrew... Marco's roommate"

"Oh we know, dear. Marco has told us a lot about you in this short two weeks you two have been friends. We're glad to meet you" said his mother.

"Where is Marco? I thought he'd be with you?" His dad asked.

"He... Is catching up on some work" I lied. I have no idea where he is. We stood there awkwardly before his mother broke the silence.

"I couldn't believe this was Marco's room. So clean. It's the most unusual thing. When he said he met someone who has changed him for the better I couldn't believe it"

"Me neither...."I said in disbelief. They seemed to have found it funny.

"Oh he jokes too! No wonder Marco has become so fond of you!" Marco's mother said excitedly.

"Yes yes indeed" Marco's father started talking "The way he spoke with such enthusiasm about you... I knew you were best friends" I've heard it all.

Marco span this entire lie to make him look good for his parents and worst of all, he involved me in it!

"I'm here" I heard him say stepping out from behind me.

"Oh darling! You look so different... So fresh and clean oh you look beautiful! My big boy! You're bigger than your dad!" Marco's mother became hysterical after seeing him. He was decked out differently from his usual jeans and t shirt. His dad greeted him.and they talked. They looked happy and I realized that I was jealous. I never knew my dad until two months ago. My mother practically begged him to look after me while I'm here in America.

"I'll be with you just now" He said and his parents left the room. He then proceeded to take a package from his pocket and hid it deep in his closet. And left. I decided to confront him in the hallway.

"You are sick!" I said, trying to stay composed.

"You are cute when you are angry" Marco said completely ignoring me and walking off.

"No!" I said as I grabbed his arm stopping him.

"Get your faggot hands off me!" he said. "I don't have to do this! I'm not going with you!" I said as his hurtful words quickly sank in.

He called me something I haven't been called since high school, but that isn't what bothered me. What really bothered me was that he knew what I was. He knew I was gay. I just didn't want that to be the thing that defined me like it did in high school. I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

"Give your parents, my sincere apologies" I said defeated and I turned back to enter my room. At the very end of the hallway, I saw Everett looking intensely at us. This only upsets me more and I disappeared inside. A few minutes later I heard knocking. I heard the door push open and I felt somebody inching closer towards me. I was on my stomach with my face to the wall. I heard Everett speaking.

"Are you okay?" he asked and for some reason I felt like this was the appropriate time to be a cry baby.

"No! I want to go home!" I yelled clenching my eyes. I wanted to cry, but tears just didn't want to come.

"Why?" Everett's soft voice asked.

"Because this place sucks!" I said and he went quiet.

"Remember that story you told me? The very first day we met? You said you and your dad didn't get along? Every night for that few weeks you spent together, you had to sit down and have dinner with him? Remember how I told you that I will try to make this place the closest thing to home back in England? I ask of you to... To just give me a chance" Everett said and I listened intently.

"No. I want to go home. Even that is better than what I have to endure here!"

"Is it because he called you a f... gay?... Because that's okay Andrew... I don't mind"

"No please stop you're talking crap get out!" I yelled and got up.

"Andrew calm down!" Everett yelled back with his arms stretched out in defense.

"I want you to go please" I said, trying to calm myself.

"I'm not going anywhere" he said now folding his arms in an authoritative manner. By now I was angry but not at Everett, however I took it out on him. I took his wheelchair like I was about to push it and I viciously forced him out if the room and he smashed into the wall opposite my dorm room. I knew then I couldn't take it back and locked myself in my room. Drowning in misery I fell asleep.

I woke up alone again in my room. Nothing but the moon shined into the window. For a minute I forgot everything that happened before realizing what I have done. I started packing. And I called a cab.

"Shit only 20 minutes before ten" I rushed to make it before the cab would arrive.

The door slowly creaked open and Marco came back.

"Oh... I thought you'd be sleeping" he said, but I ignored him.

"Why are you packing? Wait are you leaving? " he asked.

"Yeah. No more faggots for you to worry about" I snapped back.

"Andrew..." I heard him say. I didn't pay mind as I emptied my draws into my old luggage bag. "Listen to me!" he said frustratedly. I felt his hands grabbing me and he swung me around.

"Ouch you're hurting me!" I said and he was. He was clenching so hard on my arms. He closed his eyes and then pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked, but my eyes remained open. Now I have never been kissed before, but this was the kind of kiss that you give, reluctantly.

Marco pulled away and talked "If you like this then this is what I'll do" and he pressed his lips against mine for a second time.

"Oh sorry for interrupting" I heard a voice say. Marco pushed me off him and ran out of the room. I stumbled and fell on my bed. Everett sat in his wheelchair at the foot of the door.

"Tell him I won't say anything..." Everett said and quickly rolled away.

"No it's not what you think!" I yelled out to Everett finally stopping in front of him. "It's not what you think" I said again.

"You don't have to lie to me, Andrew. I saw you earlier, you had a fight... Couples do that... You were suppose to meet his family, I don't know why you think you owe me an explanation so please step aside"

Everett left me in the hallway and I felt crushed. He tried being tough, but he was angry, maybe even hurt.

"Is he gone?" I heard Marco say.

"Yes" I said not looking at him. What he asked "Is the coast clear" but what I answered was "I might have lost a friend"

I picked myself up and Marco was sitting on my bed.

"Are you going to tell your friend to shut his mouth?" Marco asked panicky. "He won't say anything" I said, looking at the ground.

"Come sit" he said, tapping the bed. "Or would you prefer somewhere warmer?" he said this time tapping his lap. I sat next to him looking away. I sensed that he was nervous even if he wasn't acting like it.

"No? Okay but I want you here" he said, pulling me onto his lap. I felt my stomach turn. Everything felt wrong.

"I know you're gay Andrew but I'm... not" he said as if he was trying to convince me. "Say something" he said a bit frustrated this time.

"I'll give you what you really want if you keep up your end of the bargain. I'll be your boyfriend in this room. Out there I don't want to know you. Unless it's on my terms" Marco said strictly. For some reason Marco had this power over me. But in actual reality he had nothing against me. The situation was screwed up. Deep down I wanted Marco... Well, what he represented : A guy who called himself my boyfriend and had everything I imagined him to be, the only difference is Marco wasn't gay (or so he says) and did not want to be with me and Im pretty sure my heart was somewhere else.

Why are you doing this? You are not gay" I asked, hoping he would come to his senses.

"Yeah but I have a dick and if you stroke my ego nice and gently, then I'll be whatever you want" Marco said with distant lust in his eyes. I have to admit he chose his words wisely, but I think you know what he meant.

"Let me try this again..." he said and pressed his lips against my neck. I imagined my first kiss would burn. But good burn, you know? Chill me and all that, but every time Marco kissed me, I felt the cold lips, touching my skin because that's all it was. And the fact that Marco was hating it just as much as I, made it even more awful.

"Why aren't you getting excited? Do you want to do stuff to me?" he said as he quickly stood up. He unzipped his pants and pulled them off. I kept looking at his face, fearing that I would be tempted to touch him as he stood in front of me. He looked almost more nervous than me.

"No I just want to sleep" I said

"Okay" he said and quickly pulled up his underwear kicking off his pants. He went to lock the door.

"Together. Maybe sleeping together will help us..." Marco said as if he was trying to convince himself. He was hoping, sleeping in bed with me would better convince him that this is what he wanted? Marco was more desperate than I thought.

We laid in bed next to each other staring at the ceiling.

"So..." Marco said and I decided it's best to pretend I'm asleep. I felt him turning to me, looking at me. I was curious to know what he thought. I felt him getting out of bed and I heard him getting into his, and I swear I heard Marco sobbing himself to sleep. Maybe Marco wasn't desperate, but deeply damaged.

As hard as I tried, I just couldn't fall asleep. Everett's face seemed to be the only image I could conjure. The only face I wanted to see. I got up and in the middle of the night I walked all the way to his room. I stood in front of the door and just as I started knocking I heard something. I heard laughter and then the laughter got louder, a girl's voice. Her laughter made me jealous. Something worse happened. She started to moan. I could not believe Everett was with a girl and that thought seemed to have been heard by the universe because as I put my head to the door the girls next words broke my heart.

"The damn wheelchair is in my way" she said and I heard a loud crash on the ground and her laughter as the wheelchair was pushed over.

I walked back to my room and crawled back into my bed. My fate was sealed. Maybe Marco's deal wasn't so bad after all.