Hot Wheels - 19. and then he said, "I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore."

We had one more night before it was back to the books. Marco was no longer studying but living in an apartment a few blocks from campus, and Everett and I had gone to the market because Marco invited us for a Sunday night dinner.

“I’m going to stuff myself,” Everett said as I was pushing him down the aisle.

“Remember, we have a $50 budget, so we have to spend wisely otherwise not all of us will be eating.”

Everett grabbed some pita bread. “Do you really think Marco is this nice guy now? Are you OK being around him? I’m hoping it’s true because I can’t handle anymore drama…”

“I think we should make sure he is Ok and doesn’t do anything crazy, maybe get him to take classes again, and he doesn’t have to live on campus to do that, but then again he is such a hard head.”

As we got to the counter, and saw the few items we had bought being swiped, I was hoping that we would make the $50 mark, but the little screen flashed and we had in fact bought $57 worth of groceries.

“That will be fifty-seven dollars,” the teenage boy absentmindedly announced.

Everett jumped in. “We only have fifty, uhm deduct the –”

“Here,” a hand passed right by me with a card being handed to the cashier.

“Hi, Anderette,” Ian giddily greeted us.

“Thanks for helping us out, man,” said Everett.

“No prob. You guys running out of food?”

“Nope…we're having dinner at a…friends. What you doing here?” I asked.

“Well, I had to stock up on some school supplies, so…”

“Oh, okay...” I said, not knowing if I should enquire on when and how Ian would prefer to be paid back.

“Listen, if it's Ok with my buddy, would you care to join us tonight? You did pay for $7 of this food,” I offered Ian.

“I don’t think I should.”

“I think you should!” Everett got a bit too excited.

Ian smiled and nodded in agreement before the three of us left together.

I dropped Everett of at his dorm room before heading back with Ian, whom might I add, had a rather permanent smile on his face and I couldn’t help but wonder who the cause of his expression was.

“You look awfully happy,” I asked bluntly.

“I am. I’m just really finding my way around here, fitting in…you know in High school I was alone and here I actually met people who find me interesting; it's more than what I expected it to be.”

I smiled. I knew what he was talking about because I knew what he meant, as for the being found interesting part, I had my fair share of that, but it only mattered that it came from one person.

I hadn’t opted to tell Ian about the history of the boy we call Marco. I was going to give Marco the benefit of the doubt that he was ready to make amends and move forward with everything that had happened behind us.

“Hey Andy, do you want to go jogging on the old field sometime?”

I was folding my laundry and Ian was jotting down some notes.

“That would be nice… I haven’t really jogged in a while, I might be a bit rusty,” I replied, hoping in some way that he would tell me it’s OK and that I didn’t need to join him.

But why? Why would I not want to? What’s wrong here? Nothing.

“You know what? That would actually be a good idea!” I said with some faux excitement.

“I’ve got an off period on Wednesday? What say you?” Ian proposed.

“I also start late, but I usually hang out in the library… But I can adjust it to later that day. Wednesday morning at 7:30 then?”

“Cool!”

Ian disappeared out of the room and left me alone; there was only an hour left before the three of us had to leave, which reminded me that I needed to ask Marco if it was OK to bring Ian along.

I retrieved the piece of parchment that he had written his number down in case I needed directions.

Within two rings he picked up as if he was waiting at the phone.

“Hey,” he greeted casually.

“Marco… look here, uhm is it Ok if I bring my roommate with me tonight?” Everything still felt weird and especially awkward talking to Marco on the phone like this.

“Gay?”

I sighed aloud before responding. ”No.”

“If you’ve got enough chow, then sure, bring the kid along. Cheers.”

And he hung up.

Now right here was about that time where I was supposed to get that stomach-churning feeling, and I waiting and waiting, and soon after, Everett and Ian entered the room telling me it was time to leave.

“So soon?”

“It’s almost six. I left 40 minutes ago and you still have your folded laundry in your lap,” Ian said as he got a jacket out of his closet. “It might get chilly.”

It was Sunday evening and it was quite lively. Students were getting their last drinks down in the surrounding pubs before tomorrow’s opening of classes. We had a few blocks to walk and I was quiet and so was Everett. Ian, walking out in front of us, curiously looked into every building’s window and occasionally yelled out “cool” or “need to pop in here!”

Everett finally broke the silence. “I kind of feel like we’re his parents, and he is about to drag us into a toy store.”

“He is just being curious…are you OK with this whole Marco thing?”

“I just want there to be peace, so yeah…”

We crossed the road right at Marco’s apartment, and just in time too, because the sun had gone to set and it was getting pretty cold. I saw Ian disappearing into the building as Everett and I trailed behind him.

“Its spooky looking, don’t you guys think?” Ian said as we entered.

I didn’t answer him; I was looking for the elevator.

“That’s weird. There is no one in the foyer, anyone could just walk in,” Everett noted.

“It’s an apartment building, not a hotel, dumbo,” Ian responded.

“Oh, here it is!” I exclaimed. The elevator was around a corner in the hallway.

As we got in, Ian closely inspected the panel before pressing the button.

“What if we get stuck in here?” said Everett.

“That would be bad television,” Ian responded.

“Or storytelling,” I added.

As a kid, I always loved the feeling of going up or down in an elevator, or what we call back at home, a lift. And an apartment is called a “flat.” I remember how my mom would get dizzy or headaches after we came out of the elevator; I found it quite amusing.

“Here we are,” I said as the lift opened up. “Number 5,” I pointed out, as that was the apartment number.

I knocked on the door a few times before the door swung open, there was Marco dressed as usual, but with a half-shaven face.

“Sooo sorry, I was just cleaning up, come on in…”

Marco’s kindness felt somewhat false, but deep down I knew he was trying, and that I was the one who truly felt uncomfortable. I guess that’s how it I supposed to feel right?

“Welcome to my home,” Marco said as he walked off to the bathroom and Ian placed the bags of food on the countertop.

The living room was mostly decked in red, with dark a curtain and a long couch and thick rug.

“Where did you get all this stuff?” I asked

“My parents helped me out,” came shouting from the bathroom.

After a few minutes, the freshly shaved Marco appeared, hungrily peaking through the groceries we had brought.

“I’m famished,” he said, much to my surprise I didn’t know he knew that word. “Ha-ha… I know what you’re thinking Andrew, and I used to think that word meant to be feminine.”

“You got me,” I said with an off-beat laugh.

We all sat down cross-legged around the small coffee table as I unpacked the food and Marco laid out some paper plates for the four of us.

“You guys should have gotten some garlic bread. I love garlic bread,” Marco added as he started munching down.

“So Marco, are you planning on coming back to college? I am hoping you don’t, 'cause I really like my new roommate,” Ian joked, poking me in the side.

Marco looked kind of stunned at Ian’s honesty but covered it up by laughing along, telling us that he had no plans to return as of yet. ”I really like my job at the Apple store. I get freebies,”

I noticed that Everett was being quiet and I looked over to him; he was in a deep trail of thought. It was nice for a change to have him out of the wheelchair.

“Ok, so what’s your plan for the new semester guys?” Marco asked with genuine curiosity, which was odd coming from him.

“Aaah, to make more friends and maybe get a job that gives me freebies, nudge-nudge,” Ian said.

Everett’s head popped up. ”Uhm, definitely want to focus more in class. I’ve been kind of distracted because of this one," Everett said, referring to me.

“No fair!’ I yelled out.

“And you?” Marco asked, looking right into my eyes. Weird, I felt an odd tingle run through my body and I couldn’t explain to myself why.

“Same,” I said, transfixed on his gaze.

“Marco, excuse my curtness but why were you such a dick to Andrew?”

Everett managed to ask a question I was avoiding without sounding threatening. Marco’s eyes went from mine, straight to Everett and I could see him surrendering.

“I had a secret relationship with a guy before a came to college… I was obsessed with him and all that stuff. We talked for like eight months, I think. He showed me around; we never confirmed our relationship, but we were together… Anyway, he was very possessive and domineering, and I liked it, you know."

Marco stopped talking to take a huge gulp of his cola, before continuing.

“Then I told him I want to be more out with him, I was ready for the holding hands in public stuff... I wasn’t ready to tell my parents of course, but… Anyway he turned and looked me in the eye and then he said, 'I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.' So, yeah.”

“Please don’t tell me that’s the end of the story,” Ian added with his chin placed in the palm of his hands like an 8-year-old listening to a captivating fairytale.

“Actually, it is.”

“You gays are so fascinating,” Ian joked once more.

Everett, with a concerning look, made things clear to Marco. “Well, that makes sense, you treated Andrew exactly how this guy treated you. Have you made peace with him?”

Marco shook his head 'no,' and played around with his whole-kernel salad in silence.

“And you Ian? Any girls we should know about? ”I said, changing the subject.

“Just one,” he said with a faint blush.

I laughed at his apparent shyness. “Ooooh, Mr. Quiet Fire!”

Everett turned to me and with a swoop, he swung his arms around my neck, “And you? What broken heart did you leave behind in England?”

“Just one,” I said, remembering the jerk who said I wasn’t classy enough for him.

“Oh, I was totally kidding. You had a boyfriend before?” Everett said, pulling himself back slightly with amazement all over his face.

“Well no, I tried to court this guy, but I wasn’t good enough for him, so I moved on.”

“Jerk!” Ian shouted out.

“Jerk!” Marco repeated after Ian, followed by a boisterous laugh.

“To the jerks,” Everett said, holding his cup above his head.

As everyone was laughing and having a good time I realized something. I looked at Marco, and how he had changed, and at Ian, and how he reminded me of my younger self, and then I looked at Everett, whom I had the deepest connection with. I realized that this was the first time I was surrounded by a group of friends.