Chapter 10

"Devyn!" Michael yelled as he raced through the wooded trail after the blond.

It seemed to take forever before he realized he was gaining on the other teen. The smaller boy was slowing down, and Michael upped his pace to catch up before Devyn realized he was gaining.

"Dev! Stop!" Michael yelled again.

He was shocked when Devyn just seemed to drop, falling to his hands and knees. Michael was moving so fast, he almost fell over the heaving figure bent over on the ground.

He skidded to a halt and fell to his knees in front of the boy he loved. Devyn was breathing so hard that Michael was afraid that he would pass out. Michael took Devyn's shoulders, trying to calm him. When Devyn's face turned up to him, Michael's heart stopped in his throat.

Tears streaked from the liquid blue orbs that Michael felt like he could get lost in forever. Devyn looked broken.

"Dev," Michael breathed, pulling the smaller teen against his chest. "It's okay. I promise, we can make this okay."

But Devyn was shaking his head furiously, his shoulders shaking under Michael's arms.

"Devyn," Michael said, softly, soothingly, cupping Devyn's chin in his hands, forcing the teen to meet his eyes. "I love you. I don't know what happened, but I can see you really don't want to tell me there's nothing between us."

'There can't be anything!' Devyn signed sharply.

"I won't believe that," Michael said firmly, kissing Devyn's forehead.

And with that, Devyn's resolve crumbled. He grabbed at Michael's neck, desperately seeking his lips, devouring Michael with his need to be loved, to be held.

'I'm sorry,' Devyn finally signed when he sagged against Michael's chest.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Michael said, "You panicked, that's all. We can get through this, whatever it is. I know we can."

'I don't think--'

"It will be okay," Michael grabbed Devyn's hands to stop him from arguing. "Kieran and Lyle kept our secret. That's what you're worried about, right? This new guy telling Mr. Milburn about us?" Michael reasoned.

Devyn cast his gaze to the ground. He only wished that was all there was to it. His heart ached, knowing it was best to let Michael go now, before anything else happened. Before Michael ever found out what Brad made Devyn do. Michael would never look at him the same. He'd be disgusted; Michael wouldn't understand that Devyn had to do whatever Brad said to protect his grandmother--even if he'd never really known her-- and to protect him. Because no one would believe anything he said now, not after he'd tried so desperately three years ago to tell everyone--anyone--what a monster the man was as well as everyone else around him. He'd never had any proof except his word against Brad's, who had managed to make Devyn out to be some bitter, angry teen--especially after Devyn had taken a swipe at him with the knife after the first time he'd allowed Devyn to be raped.

Another tear slipped down his cheek. He wanted so desperately to keep Michael in his life, some sort of hope in the darkness, but he was afraid. Afraid of Michael finding out what he'd done, what he'd been made to do. Afraid of Brad finding out and hurting Michael. It hurt so much to be afraid all the time. Afraid to just be anymore.

He just wanted to curl up in Michael's arms like he had those few times at the lake and forget everything else in his life. Forget his asshole of a step-brother. Forget his mother had left him alone, that Brad had taken her from him. Forget all the things the 'tutors' made him do; what they paid Brad to be able to do. Forget Brad's punishments. Forget that Kieran was in a coma because of him. Forget, for once, that he had to protect his grandmother, Michael, Michael's family, well everyone really, and just be.

Free.

"I'm sure we can convince this new guy you have to keep our secret also," Michael was saying.

Devyn pulled back and glared at Michael like he was crazy, finding his resolve again. An excuse to let Michael go. 'No he won't,' he signed.

"You don't know that until you ask him," Michael said.

Devyn was still shaking his head. 'It doesn't matter. We have to stop this.'

Michael's eyes darkened. "That's bullshit. I can see you still love me. Why would you say that?"

Devyn cast his eyes at the ground, unable to look at Michael's devastated face. 'Because it can never work. My step-brother will never allow it.'

"Well, fuck your brother," Michael snapped. "What's he gonna do anyway if he finds out? Throw you out? You can come live with me. My parents know about me and are fine with it."

Devyn dropped his forehead onto Michael's chest, shaking his head. Michael could feel his lover's body trembling with fear and worry.

If only it were that simple, Devyn thought.

Michael could barely see Devyn's hands moving next to his chest. 'I can't risk it. Brad would ... he'd stop taking care of my grandmother.'

Michael sighed heavily, realizing that Devyn had more at stake than just earning the ire of a controlling guardian who suddenly found out his step-brother was gay. "I see."

Michael stayed silent for several long minutes, letting Devyn slowly relax against his chest. He knew he was never going to convince the other teen that it would all be okay right now. Devyn seemed too panicked about his step-brother to see much reason.

"Dev," Michael whispered against the blond's forehead, pressing a kiss there before continuing, "how about we just head back to the barn? Let's see Serenity. I know she misses you."

The aqua eyes shot up to him in surprise, apparently shocked that he was letting the subject drop now. Michael pulled the light teen to his feet. Devyn dipped his head to hide the wince of pain when Michael grasped his shoulder where Mr. Crantz had dug his fingers in earlier to shove him to his knees.

They took a few steps in silence when Devyn stopped abruptly, meeting Michael's gaze.

'I do--' Devyn's hands dropped for a second, apparently debating whether to continue, his breathing quickened. 'I do love you, Michael. But I can't keep risking--'

Michael grabbed Devyn's hands gently holding them to his chest. "Shhh, not now. Just--just...breathe, okay? Let's go see Serenity, okay?"

Devyn allowed Michael's calming breath to wash over him, dragging in the sharp scent of the trees and earth. He nodded, his long bangs falling into his eyes. 'Okay.'

And for a moment he believed it would be.

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Jason looked up at the crush of leaves under footsteps. Michael was behind Devyn, herding him back towards the stables. As they stepped from the treeline, Jason saw them in a new light. He could now see the softness in Michael's eyes as he watched Devyn carefully, eyes raking over the lean form. He wasn't sure now how he had missed that before. Michael's anger at Devyn hadn't been in malice or hate, it had been from hurt and concern. The tall teen looked dejected and nervous, and Devyn looked even worse.

Devyn stopped abruptly as he saw Jason leaning on the fence, and Jason cut his eyes over to the teen. No one seemed to want to move, except Serenity who trotted over to the fence closest to her owner, snorting her displeasure at being abandoned by him.

Jason just nodded toward the horse as Devyn looked back at him fearfully before easing over to the fence. Michael kept a careful distance, and Jason was sure that the teen was worried about what Jason was going to do. As Devyn seemed to relax slightly as his hand smoothed over his horse's neck, Jason finally straightened and eased closer to his charge.

"So," Jason said finally, "You know sign language."

Devyn froze, glancing back at Michael who looked surprised at Jason's comment.

Jason just smiled back at Michael, then stepped closer to Devyn. "Lyle told me he taught you. Did he teach Michael here too?"

Devyn's watery blue eyes shifted uneasily to Michael.

Michael cleared his throat. "No, my aunt is deaf and she lives with us. I've grown up knowing how to read sign. When I came here, I was shocked to realize that Devyn was mute. I saw him signing with Lyle one day."

Devyn slowly moved his hand over his chest. 'Please.'

"Devyn..." Jason was alarmed by the pleading terrified look on the boy's face. Was he really that scared of him?

'Please, don't tell Brad,' Devyn begged, and Jason cast a glance back at Michael for translation.

"He's worried about you telling Mr. Milburn," Michael stated.

"Oh," Jason sighed, "Devyn, look. I think we need to come to an understanding." Jason straightened. "I do work for your step-brother, and in the end, I do answer to him as he's paying me to do a job..."

Jason could see the moment that Devyn started to panic, as the boy shifted, his eyes darting back to Michael and Lyle. He grabbed the boy's arm before he could dart away again.

"... But," he added quickly, "Brad's a busy man. What doesn't hurt me doing my job, isn't something I need to bother him with."

Devyn's liquid azure eyes snapped up to Jason in surprise. ^Really?^ his lips asked, and when Jason nodded, Jason saw one of the first real smiles he'd ever seen on the boy.

Jason smiled back widely. "Yeah, I'm thinking that Brad may be a little busy to worry too much about whether or not you sign here with your boyfriend."

Devyn's mouth dropped open, speechless. Michael and Devyn exchanged a stunned look before Michael finally stepped closer to Devyn.

"You know, then?"

Jason glanced back at Lyle, who smiled as he turned away. "Yeah."

"Then you won't--"

"Tell Brad?" Jason finished, then shook his head. "Not sure that would go over too well with him." He dropped his hand on Devyn's shoulder. "Look--"

Devyn winced noticeably, and Jason frowned at the pained look that crossed Devyn's face.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked in concern, smoothing his hand softly over the boy's shoulder.

Devyn nodded, glancing briefly at Michael before he signed, 'I think I just slept wrong.'

Michael translated and Jason nodded understandingly. "Okay. Well, as I was saying, as long as you behave, don't cause any trouble, and--" he looked pointedly over at Michael too, "--keep things quiet, I don't see there's anything I need to tell Brad. Alright?"

Devyn nodded with a tentative, hopeful smile.

"Now, I'm going to go over there and sit," he pointed at the chairs in the shade, his eyes raking over the muscular man leading the second horse out of the barn, "and enjoy the view."