Chapter 25

"He's stablizing--"

"--ressure is rising."

He felt like his body was stuck in molasses. He felt something tug his eyelid pulled open, and a bright light flickered.

Shit, that was bright, he winced.

"Devyn? --vyn, son, -- hear me?"

He wanted to answer, moved his lips, but something was on his face, and that damn light kept flickering into his eye. He began to panic as he realized that his arms were strapped down; he couldn't even shake his head.

"Respiratory's ris--" a voice floated over him.

"Dev--," came the smooth disjointed voice, "Calm--. Y-- okay. I need--... --breathe deeply."

Where the hell was he? His heart rate spiked, as he tried to look around, nothing looked familiar.

"Pulse is up," the distant voice intoned, sounding slightly alarmed.

"Devyn," the calming voice again, and Devyn tried to focus on the voice. "You're--... ambulance. ... --going to be oka--"

An ambulance? Crap.

"--vyn?"

He felt the blessed darkness wash over him.

@@@@

Lights flashed by overhead.

"--get him to surgery. Room--"

"He's awake--"

A face appeared over him. A woman, smiling. "You're going to be okay, hun."

Okay? He didn't want to be okay any more. He was tired of just being okay. God, why couldn't they just understand....

Tears pricked his eyes, blurring the face as white lights whisked by overhead.

Another face appeared. A man.

"Dev--... --fix up that arm--... --be okay, son--"

No, he tried to shake his head, tried to tell them to stop.

Just leave him alone.

Just...

The brightness faded. Yes. Maybe. Finally.

@@@@

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

God, he wished someone would turn off that annoying alarm. There were voices, hushed ones, but nothing he could seem to focus on. Geez, his head was pounding. And that stupid beeping was like a knife stabbing into his temple.

Fuck! he wanted to shout at someone, turn the damn thing off!

All he managed was a bare flicker of his eyes--then wished he hadn't. God, the light was bright.

"...--woke up a couple times," a slightly familiar voice was saying.

"So, he's going to be alright?"

Wait, he knew that voice.

"Yes, he's just sleeping now. Medically, he'll be just fine. A couple cracked ribs, the bruising--they will heal in time. We stitched up the artery in his wrist, but he's going to need to be very careful obviously until it heals. That's why it's in a splint, to immobilize it."

Devyn focused on the voice, realizing it was talking about him. His body. And God, did it hurt. As he became aware of the rest of his body, he wished he could just sink back into the darkness.

He whined silently to himself when it seemed like every muscle was protesting having to function, especially his lungs and chest. Pain throbbed in his jaw and head. His wrist--they'd said something about--

Shit! He winced as he tried to wriggle it and pain lanced up his arm. Then he remembered. The knife. His breath hitched at the phantom pain as he remembered the blade slicing through his skin, how he'd forced it deeper as he'd dragged it as far as he could along the inside of his wrist. He'd managed to get several inches before he'd had to stop, tried to change hands, but the pain of the wrist he'd already severed kept him from getting a grip on it. Tears pricked at his lashes, soaking them as he realized he'd failed. Fuck. Brad would--

"Devyn?" the deep voice again.

"Devyn, can you hear me?" another voice asked, much closer. He felt pressure on his arm, a hand ghosting over his forehead.

He became aware of something tickling his nose, and cool air flowing in his nostrils. As he blinked several times in the bright room, tears seemed to amplify the brightness, and he was grateful when someone dimmed the lights.

"That better?"

He forced a tiny nod as he tried to keep his eyes open.

A white lab coat.

A woman with pink bunnies on her shirt. A nurse.

"Devyn?" his eyes flickered to the left. Jason. Just Jason. A tear dripped from the corner of his eye as he sighed in relief, thanking god Brad there pretending to care.

The man looked like hell. He needed a shave, Devyn thought absently.

"Hey, kid," Jason forced a smile.

Devyn tried to open his mouth, but it was so dry. The tip of his tongue slid across lips that were cracked and sore.

"Here," the nurse with the obnoxiously cheery shirt offered him a cup of water, placing the bendy straw against his lips.

He sucked in the cool water, nearly choking when he tried to gulp too much. His throat felt tight and sore when he tried to swallow, and he suddenly remembered Brad trying to strangle him.

His uninjured hand tried to rise to his throat, but he realized there was an IV in the back of his hand.

"Devyn, do you know where you are?" the doctor asked, and Devyn rolled his eyes at him, nodding. The man laughed slightly, "Okay, just checking. Well, I'm Dr. Marks, and I've got you on some antibiotics and pain meds that will make you feel rather sleepy. So don't fight it, just rest. We've got your ribs wrapped up, and coughing and deep breaths might be a bit painful for a while, but they'll be fine. So will... uh, your arm."

Devyn just nodded, closing his eyes. He didn't really care.

"You should be okay to go home in a few days, we just want to keep you for observation--"

Home? Devyn's eyes shot open, widening in panic.

^No!^ he was suddenly shaking his head, struggling to move. Beep,beep,beep. That damn machine started making more noise--

"Hey, hey--" the doctor started in alarm, but Devyn didn't even notice the man trying to press on his shoulder.

"Devyn!" Jason's deep voice cut through the panic. "Stop! It's not what you think!"

Devyn cut his blue eyes over at the man.

"Brad's gone," Jason said. "You don't have to worry about him anymore."

^Gone?^

Jason nodded wryly.

^Jail?^

"No, actually," Jason said, wrapping his fingers around Devyn's, smoothing his thumb over the knuckles, careful of the IV.

Devyn frowned.

"He was killed," Jason said, clearing his throat, and Devyn's eyes widened in surprise, his mouth dropping open. "Apparently, one of his 'clients' didn't want him talking, at least that's what the police think. He was killed on the way to his bail hearing." Jason smiled wryly, "They haven't caught the guy yet, but... well, anyway," Jason sighed, "I can't say I'm too upset about it. One less asshole in the world."

Devyn watched as Jason's eyes started to tear up. The man's hand tightened on his fingers.

"Devyn. I'm so sorry. I should never have let you go back there..." Jason choked, his eyes refusing look up. "I should have--"

Devyn tightened his own fingers on Jason's to stop the man. It wasn't much pressure but it was enough to get the man's attention. Jason's eyes darted up to his.

^Not your fault.^ Devyn smiled.

Jason's weary face lightened, and his fingers tightened on Devyn's. "Not yours either."

"Devyn," the doctor started after a few minutes of silence, "obviously, we're doing all we can for you physically. However, we are concerned about ... other things," the doctor cleared his throat. "From what the police can tell, the wound on your wrist was self-inflicted."

Devyn cast his eyes to the white blanket across his lap. Slowly, he nodded.

"Yes, well, that's one of our main concerns right now," Dr. Marks nodded with a solemn smile. "With the information I've been told by Mr. Yates here, I'm very worried that there could be a reoccurrence. We'd like you to talk with someone who can help--"

But Devyn was already shaking his head. There was no way he was planning on talking to anyone.

He felt a pressure on his thigh as Jason's hand squeezed reassuringly. "Don't worry, Dr. Marks, I've already arranged for Devyn to see someone."

Devyn snapped his eyes at the man. What right did he have to do anything like that? Devyn glared at his old bodyguard, wishing he could cross his arms to indicate just how irritated he was.

"Devyn," Dr. Marks sighed, "It's essential for your recovery to be sure that whatever made you feel it necessary to try to end your life--"

^He's DEAD,^ Devyn spat out silently.

The doctor looked stunned for a moment before realization dawned. "Oh, I see."

Jason was nodding beside him with a slight smile. "Brad Milburn can't hurt him anymore; Sam and Nelson are in jail. He'll be safe now, with me."

Devyn shot a look of surprise at Jason, his mouth gaping open in shock.

Jason just grinned. "If he wants to be," he amended. "I've told Sheriff Marlin that I'd like to be your guardian, until you're of age, unless you'd rather the system find you a foster family...."

Devyn felt his mouth open and close a couple times as he processed what his former guard was saying. The man was willing to take care of him?

^Really?^ he finally managed.

"Yeah, really."

^I didn't think you liked me much.^

Jason scoffed, his own eyes looking a little misty. "Yeah, at first I thought you were a real brat, but I shouldn't have listened to what Brad said. I should have learned who you were for myself."

^I was really rude to you.^

Jason chuckled, "Yeah, you were, but I understand why, too. You had no reason to trust me then. I hope you do now, or at least will eventually."

Devyn felt Jason's warm hand smooth over his head, and Devyn couldn't help but close his eyes at the gentle touch, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't flinch at an older man's touch.

"I have room at my house," Jason said, "and we'll get you enrolled in classes to catch up on school, get your GED. We'll figure things out. You'll be like the kid brother I never had."

Devyn felt the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as he found himself already nodding. ^Yeah, yeah, I... I think I'd like that.^

Dr. Marks broke the moment when he moved toward the door. "Well, I guess I'll leave you two to talk things out then."

As the man exited the door, he paused, speaking briefly to someone outside.

"Devyn, the police are going to want to talk to you to get your statement still. But I've asked them to wait a bit for you to feel a little more settled." Dr. Marks quirked a knowing smile. "There's someone out here who's been waiting to see you, if you feel up to it. Well, several someones, but one in particular."

Devyn frowned at both the doctor and at Jason who was suddenly beaming as well. ^Who?^

The doctor stepped back, and Devyn sucked in a breath at the sight of the dark head that peeked in hopefully.

"Devyn?" Michael's voice seemed so small and plaintive.

^Michael...^ Devyn breathed out, realizing he'd been holding his breath.

Michael shot across the room in an instant, hovering for a second before reaching a hand toward Devyn's cheek, but he paused before actually touching him.

"God, Devyn," Michael gasped, tears starting to flow freely now. "I was so scared when I saw that ambulance. And you... and there was so... so much blood."

Devyn leaned into the fingers hovering just millimeters from his sore jaw. When he blinked, tears fell over the long fingers now gently caressing his cheek.

^I'm sorry,^ Devyn said, raising his IV-tethered hand carefully to cover Michael's, holding it in place. ^He just--...I couldn't--...^ Devyn kept trying to give voice to what had driven him over the edge. ^You were gone,^ he finally said.

"I didn't go anywhere, Devyn. I never will."

Devyn shook his head slightly. ^No, he was going to hurt you... and others, to hurt me more... I just couldn't let him--"

"Shhh," Michael's soft voiced calmed, worried about the racing of the heart monitor. "It's okay now. It's over."

Devyn glanced over at Jason who was smiling slightly, trying to look like he wasn't staring at their interlude.

^You know, now?^ Devyn's body trembled nervously, as he looked back up at Michael's dark eyes. ^You know what he made me do?^

Michael glanced anxiously at Jason who nodded. Apparently, he did, Devyn concluded. Jason must have told him what had been happening, what to expect.

"Yeah, Dev, I do, in general," Michael admitted, his voice choking up a bit. And when Devyn tried to dip his head away, his cheeks flushing with shame, Michael caught his chin up with both hands. "But that doesn't matter to me. I love you, for you, nothing some bastard made you do is going to change that."

Devyn's liquid blue eyes looked up at Michael hopefully.

^You... you love me?^

Michael grinned and leaned down, his lips claiming Devyn's. Devyn sighed as his apprehensions dissolved under Michael's devouring kiss. When Michael pulled back slightly, his minty breath feathered over Devyn's lips. "Yes, I do."