Blood of the Neko - 15. Chapter 15

Kayden leaned against Damien's chest while he regained some energy, soaking in the heat from the bigger man. He couldn't help trying to burrow into the man's chest. He'd been so cold, and his muscles were so tired, he was nearly numb. He melted against his master, breathing in the faint scent of sandalwood, mixed with sweat and dirt. It felt like being home, and he didn't want to let it go.

He didn't allow himself to think about the terror of the previous night, nor the fact that he had actually killed five men. He just closed his eyes, his breathing evening out in the strong, protective hold of his master's arms, and the gentle stroking of his master's hand on his head.

"We're done," Saladin's voice jerked him out of the half-doze that he'd drifted into.

"Okay, make a quick check for anything useful. Then we'll trek down to meet up with Oliver." The rumble of the duke's voice from his chest had him whining to just stay where they were. He knew in his head that wasn't feasible, but his body didn't care.

When he struggled to get up, this time Damien and Saladin helped him. As he steadied himself on his feet, his mind slowly began to brush off the haze of horror at what had happened to him. He abruptly turned and grabbed the front of Damien's white shirt, pulling himself up straighter. "Wait. What about Joseph?" his voice was tinged with urgent worry. "Is he alright? Did you find him?"

Damien gave him a comforting squeeze, and Kayden repressed a wince from the pain that the movement had caused his chest. Now that he was warming up, he could feel how tight the skin was, and the healing wound was still a bit sore with moving.

"We did find him, kitten. He'll be fine. He had a sprained or broken ankle. We sent him with a couple of the guards to meet up with Oliver and Brenner."

Kayden sagged a bit against his master. "Good."

"We should be able to catch up to Captain Brenner as he comes up the pass," Saladin said, pointing in the direction they would be heading. We've basically cut across the diagonal it looks like. So we may even be ahead of him."

"Good," Damien said, "the sooner we can catch up to them, the sooner Kayden can get into warmer clothes."

Rafe Saladin and Hatcher nodded their agreement. Both of them looked at Kayden warily, obviously wondering if he'd be able to make it. Kayden straightened, pulling his master's warm tunic around him as best as he could and took a few steps in the direction the neko guard had indicated.

Damien was right behind him.

"Are you sure you can--"

"I'm fine," he repeated.

But only a couple dozen steps into the forest, and Kayden could already feel the haze of exhaustion trying to weigh him down. He stumbled and instantly felt Damien's hands steadying him. A quick glance back, and he could see the question in his master's eyes. He smiled and just nodded before following Saladin's path. He was grateful the older neko was doing his best to pick the easiest path for him, especially with his bare feet. His toes were still cold, but not as cold as a pure human's would have been. His thick soles provided some insulation against the damp of the earth.

He wondered if his master truly meant what he'd said; about wanting another chance, that he'd made a mistake. That he loved him. He hadn't been able to say it back yet. He couldn't stand if he opened his heart back up all the way only to have the man stomp on it again.

He stumbled again, but this time he couldn't stop the blurring haze that whited out his vision. It seemed like he heard his name called, but it sounded so far away.

"Kayden!"

His knees crashed to the ground, jolting his body with agony briefly before he suddenly felt like he was floating. He felt jostled a bit, his head lolling as if it were not attached to his body. But then he felt the warmth. The Blessed Warmth. And all he wanted to do was to curl into it.

"I've got him," a voice distantly echoed as he felt himself cradled into the Blessed Warmth.

Was this what dying felt like? If so, he wondered why he'd feared it for so long. He finally let go, allowing his body to give up, to stop fighting. The sharp scent of sweat and sandalwood washed over him, cocooning him in its web of protection.

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He startled when the smooth rhythmic cadence that lulled him to sleep suddenly jolted. He didn't know how long he had been out, but he looked up quickly to see a slight grimace in his master's face.

"You okay, sir?" Hatcher asked from behind them, and Kayden realized that Damien must have stumbled a bit while carrying him.

"Yeah, I'm good," Damien called over his shoulder before looking down and seeing the green eyes staring up at him.

Kayden started to wriggle. "You can put me down. I'm sure I'll be okay."

However, his master's arms only tightened on him, and Kayden was surprised by the fierce look on his face. "No."

Kayden chose not to argue this time, hiding his smile against his master's chest.

Kayden's green eyes closed briefly before he looked back up at Damien. His small hand brushed the rough stubble on Damien's cheek. "I'm sorry I pushed you."

Damien's snort startled all of them as he abruptly stopped. Damien looked suddenly so very weary. Saladin turned quickly at his lord's grunt.

"I think I totally deserved it," Damien smiled. "Probably deserved a lot worse, according to Oliver and Geoff."

Damien had to laugh at the pinched frown that marred Kayden's face. He sagged against a tree, collapsing against its trunk, but refused to loosen his hold on the boy.

"I was wrong, and I never should have accused you like that. I... I should have talked to you. But I let my jealousy and fears get the better of me," Damien's voice was ragged with emotion, and Kayden suddenly felt that maybe it was all just a mistake.

"You were jealous? Of ... Finn?" Kayden seemed to truly not understand where that would come from.

Damien nodded, as Hatcher offered them both a sip of water, and they all took a moment to rest. "Yes, I was."

Kayden squirmed to sit more upright, to face his master. "But... but that doesn't make any sense."

Damien's ragged laughter startled him. It seemed almost maniacal, and Kayden wasn't sure what was going on. "Yes, I know it doesn't. Because you didn't do anything." Damien suddenly buried his head against the side of Kayden's neck, and Kayden felt the deep sigh of a man who was hurting, who was hoping for forgiveness. "God, kitten, I have no right to ask for you to forgive me. I just keep thinking about what you must have felt. How much I must have hurt you... I've broken your trust..." he choked. "You've given me no reason not to trust you, but ...after everything that happened with Roman, I--... God, what the hell was I thinking?"

Kayden pulled Damien's face away from his shoulder, cupping the stubbled jaw in his small hands. "You were worried about losing me," Kayden guessed. "Your brother's betrayal hurt you, and when I lied to you, it made you doubt me too. I'm sorry. I should have just told you I wanted to learn to fight, to defend myself and you."

Damien cracked a slight smile at the earnest look on his lover's face. "You shouldn't need to learn to defend yourself, sweetheart," he said, brushing back a stray lock of ebony hair. "But I understand your want." He sighed. "And you're right, I probably wouldn't have approved had you come right out and told me, so I understand why you wanted to keep it a secret."

Kayden's smile widened. "I want to keep training."

Damien huffed a chuckle. "I suppose, I don't have any choice."

Kayden shook his head with a grin.

"Do I have a chance of being forgiven?" Damien asked quietly, dropping his forehead to Kayden's.

Kayden's thumb brushed over Damien's bottom lip before he leaned in. Damien sucked in a breath at his lover's warm lips claiming his. He immediately opened to the gently probing tongue and devoured the boy. He drank in the passion of his lover's kiss, never wanting it to end.

When they finally parted, Damien smiled against the feline's soft lips. "I thought I'd lost you. I thought--"

Kayden's finger pressed against his lips, hushing him. "Yours. All yours."

Damien burst into hysterical laughter, wrapping Kayden up in his arms tightly before he realized his mistake when the boy gasped in a bit of pain. "Oh, fuck, kitten, I'm sorry. I just--"

Kayden just smiled. "I'm fine," he laughed. "We probably should be going."

Damien went to stand up, still holding Kayden in his arms. Kayden tried to complain, insisting that he'd rested enough and was fine now, but Damien, even as weary as he seemed, refused to let him walk.

"Let me take him for a while," Saladin offered. "It'll give you a chance to rest."

Instinctively, Damien tightened his hold.

Kayden gave him an odd look. "You can't possibly be jealous of him now?"

Fuck. Damien dropped his head with a resigned sigh. He deserved that.

"Fine," he said, finally relinquishing his hold on Kayden over to the hybrid guard. Saladin had a better build for carrying the extra burden. His feline grace and sure steps, as well as his bountiful muscles, made it easy for him to navigate the woods with the extra weight.

As Saladin turned to head off, Damien watched as Kayden peeked around the guard's shoulder at him. The heated smile that the boy gave him renewed his faith and lightened his heart.

Those bright green eyes were trained on him. Only him.