Blood of the Neko - 9. Chapter 9

Damien rode the group hard wanting to make as much progress towards the western mountains as possible. They stopped briefly in the mid-afternoon to eat and water the horses at the river snaking through the edges of the mountains. It gave the men some time to stretch and grab something to drink for a bit. They would be following the river for the rest of the night and crossing it sometime tomorrow.

As they stopped, Kayden waited for Finn to slide off Bella before he leapt down. Finn leaned in, smiling.

"I'll take care of Arabella," he said, "why don't you go sit with the master."

Kayden nodded his thanks, looking over to where Damien was scowling at him. He frowned. Could his master still be that upset by his coming? He shed his cloak and spread it next to Damien, who remained rather stiff next to him. Kayden couldn't think of anything else but just to keep smiling and letting Damien know that he would be fine and that he loved him.

He leaned in and kissed his master's cheek, but Damien didn't react to him. Kayden glanced around at the others nearby, who were steadily looking anywhere else but at them. Saladin was talking with Brenner and one of Oliver's men. Lord Druet was grinning down at Nash, offering him some of his bread. Kayden smiled when he realized how close Joseph was to Oliver.

"How are the men doing?" Damien asked, his focus on his captain. Kayden got the distinct feeling he was being dismissed.

He frowned over at his lover and untied his annoying boots, slipping them off and wriggling his toes.

"I'll be right back," he mumbled, figuring he'd cool his feet in the river for a bit while Damien was occupied with the captain.

"Heading off to find Finn?" Damien's voice grumbled.

"What?" Kayden paused.

Damien glanced back at him, but his gaze quickly returned to the Captain. "The men?" he prompted.

Kayden noticed the flicker of concern that crossed the Captain's face before he cleared his throat to address the duke. Saladin's brown ears twitched and Kayden saw the man's thick brown and white tail thump behind him in the neko's imitation of worry. A quick glance at Oliver and Nash told him that he had gained their attention as well.

A flush crept up his neck as he ducked his head and turned away as quickly as possible. He didn't want to cause a scene with his master in front of his men. Maybe that was part of the problem--that he had defied Damien's orders to stay behind in front of them. He'd have to apologize when he had a moment alone with him.

As he walked toward the river where several of the men were feeding their horses, he had a moment of trepidation. He only knew a couple of them, since they were guards at the manor, but there were so many unfamiliar people. He dragged in a deep breath, knowing he had to face this fear since he had insisted on coming along.

"Are you okay?" a voice startled him.

He turned to see that Joseph Nash had followed his departure. He really needed to stop being so distracted. He should have heard the man coming.

Kayden nodded back. "I'm fine."

"I'm sure he actually appreciates you being here," Joseph said. "He's just worried about you."

Kayden lifted his chin to the bigger guard. He nodded again, refusing to let the tears threatening his courage betray him.

"Go hang out with Finn while we rest," Nash said, knowing that Kayden would need to be near someone he trusted. "Unless you'd like me to stay with you."

"No," Kayden let a small smile out, "You go sit with Lord Druet. You seem to enjoy each other's company."

The pink that tinged the man's cheeks told him he was right. "He is very engaging."

Kayden raced off for the river, making his way over to Finn and taking over the care of Arabella. He managed to relax a little bit and stretch out his muscles while Finn babbled excitedly about being on the journey. Apparently, he hadn't ever been any farther than the manor and town. He was so enamored of the forest that he couldn't stop talking.

Kayden glanced around at the fluttering leaves of the tall oaks and maples as they danced in the wind. The cool river water rippled around his ankles. The sharp tang of pines caught on the breeze, and Kayden couldn't help the mix of fear and melancholy that overwhelmed him.

He vaguely remembered feeling so carefree and happy in such a forest. He almost felt like he could hear his mother's voice on the wind. When he turned, he briefly thought he saw his father smiling at him from across the river, but it was just one of the other men traveling with them. He stamped down the memories he knew would come next--of the sound of the gun, of his father's howling cry as he attempted to distract them from his wife and child, the smell of the blood blossoming from their wounds, the stink of the men who ripped him from his life at the tender age of ten.

"Hey, are you okay?" Finn asked, apparently noticing Kayden nearing a breaking point.

Kayden glanced at the back of his master, wanting desperately to run and just curl up in his arms and beg him to make the bad memories go away. But Damien appeared to be deep in conversation with Brenner.

Kayden felt his body shaking, and for the first time, he thought maybe he shouldn't have come. He didn't realize how alone he would feel. He tried to step out of the cool river water, but only managed to stumble, crashing into Finn and knocking them both to the ground.

Finn's arms wrapped around him as he tried to breathe, tried to get control of the overwhelming emotions the scents and sounds of the forest threatened to bury him under. Hands landed on the sides of his face, bringing him back to focus.

"Kayden!" Finn looked panicked as he held Kayden's head in his hands.

Kayden swallowed hard. He'd fought this before; he could do it again. "I'm okay."

"You looked like you were about to pass out," Finn held tightly, searching Kayden's face for answers.

"I just--" Kayden shook his head. "Just some memories. That's all."

"Do you want me to get Lord Whitmore?"

Kayden glanced up to see Damien glancing over his shoulder. The man seemed to tense, his eyes narrowing. But as Kayden sat up, Damien turned his attention back to Druet. He must have realized that Kayden was alright, that Finn was there if he needed someone. Kayden felt a pang of disappointment at his master's casual dismissal of him, but then he realized that maybe Damien was trying to maintain his leadership aura as Duke of Marsten and couldn't be seen constantly fawning over his lover.

Damn, Kayden thought, he should have thought of that before. His own guard contingent wouldn't have any problem with his affection toward Kayden, but maybe he didn't want to appear weak in front of all the other men.

"No," Kayden finally answered. "I'm fine. Lord Whitmore has more important things to deal with."

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Damien nearly growled as he turned and saw Kayden and Finn entangled in each other's arms. How the hell could they do this to him? In front of the other men even?

"Damien?" Oliver drew his attention.

"What?" he snapped.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," he grumbled. "Everyone needs to stop asking me that."

"Well, we wouldn't ask if it didn't look like something was the matter, you ass," Oliver said. He jerked his chin. "Looks like your boy fell. Don't you want to go see if he's alright?"

Damien cast another look over his shoulder, seeing Finn's hands sliding all over his kitten's body nearly made him sick. "He's fine. Can't you see that Finn has him taken care of?"

Oliver frowned at his tone. "Are you jealous of Finn?"

"Jealous? Now why would I be jealous?"

A slow smirk appeared on Oliver's face. "You are."

Damien refused to acknowledge the accusation, no matter how true it might be. "Mount up!" he ordered. "We're moving out!"

Oliver pressed his lips together, trying to decide whether or not to press the issue. There would be time later tonight, when they were camped, for him to talk some sense into the man.

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It was another few hours before Damien finally called a halt to the trek deeper into the forest and nearer to both a clearing and the river for water. Brenner quickly ordered Saladin and Nash to set up a fire and camp area for the lords before he headed off into the contingent of men to check on their needs as they settled in, laying out bedrolls and making two smaller fire pits for the men to have.

The Whitmore guards had all laid out their bedrolls around the Lords' fire ring. It was obvious that they still took their job of protecting the Duke and Lord Druet seriously.

Damien noticed that Kayden seemed a little less sure of himself as he carried his bedroll over. His eyes seemed to ask the question of whether or not he could settle next to him. Damien almost wanted to tell him to go sleep with Finn, but he knew he wouldn't be able to control his tone, and he didn't want to get into a fight here.

Instead, Damien merely shifted slightly, indicating for Kayden to sit down. He heard the boy sigh in relief as he set down the bedding and laid it out. It didn't take long for Kayden to shed his boots and roll up his cloak as a pillow.

Kayden squatted next to Damien, placing his hand gently on the man's sleeve. "Please. Tell me what is wrong," Kayden whispered. "I know something is. Is it that I defied you in coming? Do you not want me near you in front of the other men? Please tell me how to fix this."

When Damien remained silent, Kayden tried to crawl into Damien's lap, attempting to get his full attention. Damien wrenched himself free and rose, stalking past the fire just out of the circle his men had created. He could see Brenner, Oliver and his men watching him uneasily, but he couldn't get the image of Kayden in Finn's arms out of his head. His body practically vibrated with anger.

He vaguely saw Kayden glance worriedly at Oliver and his men. Both Oliver and Brenner appeared to give the neko an encouraging nod, so it was no surprise when the boy appeared next to him. His men probably thought Kayden was the only one who could soothe his temper. But unfortunately, they didn't realize he was the one causing it.

"Is there something I can do to help?"

Damien looked down at the boy's face, the fire flickering over the worried planes. The boy almost looked so innocent. Almost. Damien had seen him with Finn too often now to be able to ignore his kitten's indiscretions.

"Yeah, maybe you can keep your affair with Finn out of the sight of my men," he growled lowly.

Kayden jerked so suddenly, he nearly tumbled to the ground. "What?"

"I think you heard me." Damien slowly lifted his head and his blue eyes pierced Kayden.

Kayden was so shocked, he didn't know what to say. He remained frozen staring at Damien, bewildered by how he could say such a thing. He was suddenly shaking his head.

"No, it's not-- I wouldn't--" Kayden tried, inching forward, wanting to soothe his master's temper.

"The hell you haven't!" Damien roared, causing Brenner, Nash and Saladin to jump to their feet. Oliver was close behind them.

"But--"

Damien suddenly grabbed Kayden's shoulders tightly, yanking him closer. "I love you!" Damien growled in his face, and Kayden could feel tears starting to form at the anger and torment he could see in his master's eyes. "How could you do this to me?"

Kayden felt Damien's fingers dig into his flesh, and he winced, but he shook his head adamantly. "No, I didn't do anything! I swear! I love you!"

Damien felt like his heart was ripping apart. He stared down at the bright green eyes. He just wanted to kiss the boy and make all of this pain go away. But Kayden had just lied to him again.

And that broke his heart even more.

"Stop lying," he grit out through clenched teeth.

"Damien!" Oliver was on his feet. His voice edged with concern, and the duke looked up to see all the men around them had risen to their feet, obviously worried about his outburst.

"Just--," Damien pushed away from Kayden, wanting to regain some control, but unable to do so while looking at the pleading face.

"I'm not lying," Kayden insisted. "Please, I don't know why--"

"You lied about how you got those bruises," Damien countered, causing Kayden to freeze suddenly. Yes, you've been caught in your lie, he thought, wondering what the boy would say now. He wasn't expecting another lie to fall from the boy's lips.

Kayden finally dropped his head, nodding. "I'm sorry!" Kayden finally gushed out. "I know I lied about how I got the bruises, but--" Kayden looked back at Joseph. "But I just wanted to learn to fight. Joseph was teaching me," he murmured, his hand ghosting over the small tender bruise at his hip. "I fell on a rock like I said, but not off of Arabella."

"What the hell?" Damien snapped. How many lies would the boy tell instead of just admitting the truth? "Now, you're going to blame your guard?!"

But Joseph was nodding as he stepped forward anxiously. "It's true, sir."

He pierced the guard with an icy glare. Now, Kayden had his guard lying for him too? He loomed over Kayden, pulling the boy in close. "So you have your guard covering for you and Finn now? How many people are you going to have lie for you? I've seen you two together!"

He watched as Kayden's jaw dropped. The look of utter shock on the boy's face had Damien faltering--could he have been wrong? There's no way that Kayden was actually training--fighting--with Nash, Brenner would have told him. And he had seen Finn fawning all over Kayden... But the devastated look of betrayal and hurt on Kayden's face--

Damien had only a second before he felt the impact of small hands shoving away from him, the small body wrenching itself out of his hands. He reeled from the shock that his kitten had actually pushed him.

He whipped his head up to see the boy fleeing into the dark obscurity of the woods. Joseph Nash was right behind him, followed by two other men, chasing him down, but Kayden was much faster.

"Kayden!" He shouted after the boy, but Brenner grabbed his arm and held him back.

"Don't," Brenner warned. "You need to calm down before you say anything else you'll regret."

Damien reeled in shock at his captain's tone.

Brenner just glared at him. And in the sudden quiet around him, Damien realized that none of his men were concerned by the fact that he'd just been shoved by the young neko. They were all glaring at him. Well, fuck them. They didn't know how it felt to have your heart ripped out by the one you loved.

Oliver stepped in close, his eyes narrow and his fists clenched. "You deserved that. Fuck, if I'd been him, you would have had a fist in your face, you ass. Probably still should."

"Fuck you!" Damien yelled back. "You didn't just have your heart stomped on. I loved him, and he's been running around with Finn!"

"What?" came a chorus of surprised gasps. The most vocal of which was Finn himself.

Damien rounded on the young groom emerging from the dark shadows. "Don't deny that you've been spending all your free time with Kayden."

"I--" the poor red-headed stable hand looked stricken. "I've b-been teaching him to r-ride b-bareback, sir. That's all."

"I saw you two earlier rolling on the ground by the river," he accused.

"He fell!" Finn gasped, practically demonstrating the fall as he gestured with his hands. "I just caught him. He looked panicked. I think something about the woods upset--"

"He did fall," Oliver said, his hands on his hips. "I told you that when it happened. I told you to go to him. You wouldn't listen."

But Damien wasn't done with the groom. "And I suppose you expect me to believe Nash gave him those bruises."

Finn gaped at him uncomprehendingly. "I don't know what--"

"He did," Brenner stated firmly.

Damien rounded on his captain. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nash has been teaching Kayden to fight. Kayden was telling you the truth," Brenner stated. "I caught them practicing a couple days ago."

Damien's jaw dropped, and then opened and closed a couple of times without saying anything.

"He wanted to be able to protect you," Geoff said softly, as Damien's face morphed from rage to grief. "He wanted to learn to fight. For you."

"No," Damien shook his head, his jaw clenching. But his carefully construed accusations were quickly falling apart, and he was slowly coming to realize that what he'd thought he'd seen maybe wasn't what he'd thought it was. "I saw Finn with his arms around Kayden, they were--"

"I'm sorry, sir," Finn dropped his head. "I am terribly sorry. I didn't know I wasn't allowed to touch him. I meant no harm. I only thought I was helping--"

"It's not you, boy," Oliver growled, piercing Damien with his narrowed eyes. "It's him. He's just jealous."

"I'm sorry, sir," Finn said urgently, trying so hard to keep his master's favor. "I--I don't like Master Kayden like that, sir. And he would never think of me like that. He only talks about you. We would never-- I mean, I'm engaged, sir. I wouldn't--"

Damien sucked in a breath. "Engaged? To who?"

"Um, Lizzy, sir. She works in the kitchens. We've been seeing each other for over a year and last month--"

"Shit," Damien cursed as the full import of what everyone was saying finally began to sink in. He dropped heavily to the fallen log, his legs collapsing out from under him. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes, but he managed to keep them at bay. What the hell had he done?

He remembered the look of horror, pain, and betrayal in his lover's face at his callous accusations. How could he have done that to Kayden? Why couldn't he have kept control and talked to the boy first?

But he remembered the fury that kept building in his chest every time he glanced back and saw Kayden smiling and laughing with Finn's body pressed up against him, his hips and groin rocking against his kitten. By the time they had stopped, he could barely look at Kayden, he'd been so angry at what he'd thought was their obvious flirting.

But really, it was just Kayden. Just his little neko being his friendly self with someone he now trusted. Someone that Kayden obviously trusted as a friend.

And now, Kayden was gone, run off because Damien had betrayed his trust. Why the hell didn't Kayden just tell him the truth to start with? Damien had allowed his imagination to run rampant after Kayden had lied about the bruises. He'd allowed his memories of Roman's betrayal to taint his mind, leaving his heart scarred and open to doubt. None of this would have happened if Kayden had just said--

But then would Damien have believed him by then? Probably not. Damien had already started down the path of mistrust before he'd seen the bruises, hadn't he?

"Fuck," he groaned into his hand, realizing now just what his irrational jealousy may have cost him. He shot up from the log. "I've got to go after him. I--"

"You're staying here," Brenner said. "It's too dark for you to go traipsing around in the woods. Nash and the others will bring him back. He needs time to cool down too. You need to think about what you'll say to him. You owe him that much."

"You're right," Damien said, straightening. He glanced around at the men, realizing that many of them were still looking at him quizzically. Fortunately, his own men and a couple of Oliver's were the only ones who had witness his outburst.

They were probably wondering how their Grand Duke could have just had such a grandiose breakdown. Damien pulled his tunic straighter, jutting his jaw out slightly.

"I want to apologize for my behavior. You men deserve to know that you can trust who you are following, and I haven't shown you that. I can only ask for your forgiveness for my behavior. I know now that my Kayden didn't betray my heart, but I believed he did, and I was hurting. I lashed out here, in front of you all, without thinking and that wasn't fair to him or any of you. Please forgive me."

Damien didn't wait to see if they offered him any forgiveness, but he did hear their murmurs of assent behind him. It wasn't their forgiveness that he really wanted or needed. It was only Kayden's. He prayed that the boy would give him that.

"Sir," a voice came from behind him, sounding breathless. He turned, but the young man was addressing his captain.

"Did you find him? Is he okay?"

"Yes, sir," the guard stated. "We found him. He had climbed a tree, and Nash is trying to talk him down. "But sir, it sounded like Master Kayden had no intention of coming back. Nash sent me back here to let you know that he was trying to talk to him."

"I see," Brenner grumbled.

"Joseph can talk some sense into Kayden, I'm sure of it," Oliver put in. "It may take a while. Your boy can be rather stubborn when he wants to be."

"I know," Damien grumbled, clenching his fists. "Maybe I should go talk to him. He can take me to them."

The guard looked panicked at the suggestion.

"What? You don't think that would work?" Damien asked.

"Uhhh, begging your pardon, sire, but the Master Kayden didn't even look like he'd talk much to Nash. He seemed rather upset by..." he trailed off, not wanting to bring up the duke's outburst.

"I'm sure he was," Brenner cut in, letting the poor man off the hook. "He has Nash and Palick to watch over him while he cools down," he told Damien. "Maybe we should give him a few hours."

"Fine," Damien grumbled. "We'll give Nash until daybreak to bring him back. After that, I'm going after him myself. He won't stay mad at me that long, I hope."

"Shit, Damien, you'll be lucky if he comes back to you at all," Oliver stated. "And thanks by the way. Now, neither of us has a companion tonight."