Finders, keepers - 5. Prompt 246

“What now?”

My thoughts were rushing around my head while he was cleaning my face. When he was done, he sat back on his heels and looked at me. I held my breath.

“Why were they following you?” His question made me think fast. What could I say? The truth? Not a good choice, unless I wanted to scare him out of his mind.

“I did a bad thing. I hurt someone…” I tried to be vague about it, but didn’t think he would accept that as an answer.

“Figures. The people of this town aren’t very nice.” His response had me looking at him in disbelief.

“They never gave me and my mother a chance. I don’t care about them.” The bitterness in his voice was almost shocking.

“Your mother?” I said, looking around. There was no sign of any other person living there. I got nervous. What if she came back and I had to escape again?

“She died.” The room fell silent. I could see him blinking a few times, pushing back tears. “A year ago. I’ve lived here alone since then.”

“But how old are you? Where’s your family?” I somehow couldn’t stand the thought of this boy, this gentle human, living alone.

“Fourteen. And there is no family. It was just me and my mum.” He could tell I had more questions, so he went on. “She got pregnant with me and they threw her out. She wasn’t married. They threw her away. Threw me away. And last year, she died…”

The tears started to fall now. Not exactly crying, more like an overflow of emotions he had experienced so many times by now that it didn’t register. I reached out and wiped his cheek. It had been so long since I had touched someone without causing pain. I suddenly felt such a longing to just be close to someone and not hurt them. I didn’t want to hurt people anymore. I just didn’t know how to stop.

“That’s a terrible thing to do to someone.” I tried to comfort him, but instead inadvertently opened that closed door to my own feelings of abandonment. The overwhelming pain that tore through me made my tears start to fall too.

Walking clumsily on his knees, he closed the gap between us and hugged me. The surprise of feeling his arms around my neck made me just sit there. Feeling awkward, I nonetheless closed my arms around him and pulled him to me. Having him so close made me realize the immense loss I had suffered for all these years, with no one to care for, no one who cared for me. His alluring scent filled my nose, spiking my hunger. I pushed it back. The feeding earlier had been interrupted, but what I’d had would do for a while. Still, my mouth ached to feel his flesh, taste his blood. I knew I shouldn’t stay. I couldn’t stay.

And yet, after that night, I stayed anyway. It was never spoken or decided. We just organized the little room he rented to accommodate us both. I kept out of sight for a while and the commotion caused by my careless actions the night we met seemed to somehow be forgotten by the rest of the town. As for making a living for us both, my shyness proved to no longer be an obstacle in getting work. I had George as my promotor now, making introductions and getting me to know the foremen who could give me work. My superior strength made me quite sought after as labor for the different businesses around, so I managed to make a decent living. George introduced me as a distant cousin, coming to live with him to take care of him. I didn’t know then things in truth would be quite the opposite.

After a few months, I started to feel the craving again. I tried to ignore it, but as before it was useless. I dreamt of blood, rivers of red, thick blood. My gums were starting to hurt. I knew I would get worse and worse until I just couldn’t fight it anymore. My work doing odd jobs around the town got harder and harder to keep up, since I got so distracted by my coworkers. Whenever I looked at them or smelled them, I pictured sinking my teeth in their necks and could almost taste their rich blood in my mouth. I lost track of what I was doing, often just stopping what I was doing to stare unseeing in front of me. The foremen got angry and yelled at me, making me feel even more out of balance. I was never good at people yelling at me. My confusion grew until it was clear I only had days to go before I blacked out and went for a feed. I scared myself with the lack of control.

I was terrified I would attack George. His sweet, sweet scent was starting to get to me. I could catch myself staring at his neck, at the throbbing veins just beneath his skin. But he was just a child! And a person who was important to me! How could I think about him like that? It broke my heart, but I realized I had to leave to keep him safe. There was no other way.

I waited for him to go to sleep one night and then I gathered my belongings as quietly as possible, preparing to leave. The thought of leaving him had me crying quietly. In this short time, I had grown so fond of him. So fond of having someone to talk to and care for. Someone to belong to. But I had to go.

Just as I reached for the door, I could hear him stir in his bed.

“Where are you going…?” His sleepy voice made me smile in spite of my sadness.

“I… I have to go. I can’t stay any longer. “ My words had him sit up in bed, wide awake.

“What?! Why?!” He got out of bed and came up to me. The bewildered look on his face made me want to just forget it and stay. But I couldn’t. With him this close, all warm from sleep and smelling amazing, I felt that need stir deep inside. His blood calling to me… Not now! I couldn’t lose control now!

“I can’t stay. I would only hurt you… You’re better off on your own, without me.” I didn’t know what else to say and I could tell he wasn’t buying this.

“Hurt me? Why would you hurt me? You’ve only ever kept me safe!” He was upset and I was too. I had to be strong though. If I caved now, I knew I would just end up losing control and I could never live with that. Only since I couldn’t die, that would be a very long time of regret and pain.

“You don’t understand. I’m not like you! I need…” I was so close to just telling him, but I bit back my words at the last minute. What was I doing? If I told him, he would surely run screaming away from me, getting help to vanquish this evil in his house.

“Why can’t you stay? I want you to stay!” He was angry now, frowning at me.

“But…” I moved for the door again, but he slipped in between me and the door, trying to stand as tall as possible and look determined, even though I knew he was confused and hurt.

“No! You’re not leaving until you tell me why!”

“But I can’t! You would never understand! You would never accept what I am or what I have to do to people…” I snapped my mouth shut and stared at him. What had I just done? Now, I had to tell him. But how? I felt deflated and powerless. Against him, my defenses didn’t work. He somehow got through to me, even when my entire body was aching for food.

“Just tell me. It can’t be that bad…” He put a hand on my shoulder. I looked at him. Just a child, not ready for something like this. Not ready for me having this need, this craving of him. His scent… Why am I feeling like this? My head was spinning, the hunger clawing at my sanity. Then my eyes met his and I saw his calm, making him seem so much older than his actual age, perhaps due to all he had suffered in his short life. It calmed me too. I wanted this, I wanted someone in my life. I needed this. I needed him. A sort of made up family. But to stay, I had to be honest. After a deep breath, I decided to tell him the truth.

“I’m a vampire…” The barely whispered words hang in the air, unbelievable and ridiculous. Shame flushed through me. I was surprised when he didn’t even flinch.

“So?” He actually sounded like it didn’t matter, like I had told him I snored at night.

“But don’t you get it?!? A vampire! I suck people’s blood! I kill people…” My desperate words got stuck in my throat. Now, he would start hating me and I would have to leave knowing he could never care for me again, would regret saving me that night. I couldn’t stop the sobs that fought their way out of my chest. I wrapped my arms around me seeking at least some comfort.

“You haven’t killed anyone while living here, have you?” I shook my head in response, not being able to talk. “So, then you don’t have to kill people. You haven’t killed me.” His simple answer made me huff out a sort of laugh.

“But I have to feed soon and then… then… “ The sobs started again and I had to stop talking.

“You have to kill what you eat?” His question, sounding more curious than scared, caught me by surprise. It made me stop sobbing and think. Did I? I had always thought so, but was it necessary?

“I’m just so hungry when I feed that I can’t stop…” I tried to explain, but I hadn’t given this much thought. Just done to others what had been done to me, but trying to do so as seldom as possible. Waiting until the hunger decided for me. He caught on to my confusion.

“Well, if you eat more often, you may not get so hungry. Just like when we don’t have very much food. We eat little at the time, but don’t wait so long…”

He did have a point. Even if he did most of the eating and I only pretended.

“But how will I ever find out? I can’t feed from someone and let them live. I would be caught!”

His eyes got that cunning look I recognized from when he had an especially bright idea.

“You could try on me…” His suggestion had my gums aching and my stomach twist. I licked my lips and immediately hated myself for it. I so wanted to taste him, had wanted to since the first time we met. But it was wrong! And he being so young meant he would be more vulnerable than my other victims. I just couldn’t! Or…? If I didn’t try, I would have to leave, leave George forever. And my life of loneliness, violence and death would start all over again. That thought made my heart ache.

George stopped my whirling thoughts with a hand on my cheek. Our eyes met and I felt like I was the child and not him. With only such a simple gesture, he managed to center me and make me focus.

“How would you do it?” His question made me think for a moment.

“The neck is easiest, but also I think most dangerous. Too much blood will make it too easy to lose control. The wrist could work, I think. A strong pulse there…” This was such an absurd conversation to have. I couldn’t look at him while talking. I had never talked to anyone about this, but apparently I knew it by instinct. George just nodded as if I had explained how to best repair a pitch fork or pick out a nice steak at the butcher’s.

Then he simply held out his arm for me. I looked up at him, not sure what to do. George pulled on his sleeve and put his wrist closer to my face. That scent… That heavenly scent! The need in me pushed me to act, to feed. Now!

“Just try…” He sounded almost teasing, like he was goading me to climb a tree or lift a particularly heavy feed sack. I tried to fight back the sudden urge that gripped me, but it was useless. I wanted him, I needed him. The hunger fierce and eclipsing everything else. Moving so fast I could tell it scared him, I grabbed his arm and bit into it. His taste exploded over my tongue and it was even better than I could ever have imagined. So rich, so full. So right. I drank from him. More and more I drank. As from a distance, I could hear him whimper. The fear in that sound suddenly pierced the haze I was in. I reared back, panting. Staring at him, I saw the frightened look in his eye. A look I had put there. Oh no… The sadness welled up in me. What had I done? What kind of monster was I?

“Oh, George! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I staggered away from him and buried my head in my hands. I didn’t even dare to look at him again. The shame was too intense. He had been nothing but good to me and this is how I rewarded him, how I treated him! I deserved to die, right now!

“Levi…” His soft but firm voice made me raise my head again. I peaked at him but immediately looked away. I felt so bad about what I had done.

“Levi” he tried again. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It doesn’t even bleed anymore. I was just surprised, that’s all.” He moved closer to me again. “Will this turn me into one like you?” The question wasn’t asked in fear either, only the same childlike curiosity.

“Of course not! I would never do that to you!” The very thought of putting George in the position I was in, made me feel nauseous. This was an existence I didn’t wish for anyone, least of all George.

“Why not?” He seemed almost disappointed.

“I don’t really know, but I think you have to drink my blood as well. But I will never do that to you! Never! This isn’t living. This is hardly existing. Until I met you, I was nothing but a beast roaming the land trying to find food. I lost all of my humanity that night when I was turned and sure I haven’t aged but I’m nothing but an animal!” My outburst had him silent for a while. I was breathing heavily, trying to regain my self-control.

“You’re no beast… You’re my friend.” His simple words had me on the verge of crying again. Could it be true that I finally had someone for real? Someone who knew but still didn’t shy away from me? Didn’t hate me?

“But wait… If you’re a vampire, shouldn’t the sun kill you? And how come you eat food?” His curious nature took over once more.

“I don’t know about the sun thing… It’s not like I had anyone to ask about these things. I don’t die, it doesn’t hurt, so I have no idea why people think that. As for food… I can eat it. At least some. It just doesn’t do anything to my body. I don’t get full. It doesn’t satisfy my hunger…” I trailed off, not sure if he wanted to discuss this now in the middle of the night, right after I had actually fed from him.

“How are you feeling now?” I just looked at him. Was he asking me that?

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He smiled, actually smiled at me.

“I’m fine. Better than fine. You did something when you ate, made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Like when I just wake up in the morning and the bed is all warm and I just feel safe. I don’t know, that sounds crazy!” He laughed, but seemed a bit unsure how to go on.

“I know. I can do something to the people I… feed from. They don’t fight back and that makes it easier. It’s like I’m in their heads.” When I said it out loud, I realized just how creepy and demented it sounded. “But I would never do that to you! Not consciously!”

“It’s ok. It felt nice. I thought it would hurt to get bitten, but it didn’t. Maybe that’s another thing you can learn to control? If you don’t do it too much, it will make this easier I think.” He sounded like he had a plan. Problem was I had no idea what he was planning.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“Well, if you’re going to… feed is it, right?” I nodded at his question. “If you’re going to feed from me and learn to only take enough, then that could be something you could use to make it less scary or painful.” When he saw my horrified expression, he held up his hands. “Not that it was all that scary or painful to begin with! I swear!”

He kept me up the rest of the night, asking all kinds of questions. I opted for telling him the truth, even if it made me feel like the monster most would say I was. I felt he needed to know all of it. I saw him fingering the marks I left on his arm, but he insisted they didn’t hurt. Instead, he said they made him feel connected to me. I didn’t understand what he meant, until the next morning when I awoke with a start. He wasn’t there and his absence scared me. I rushed out of bed and ran outside, barely taking the time to dress. Once outside, I could all of a sudden feel where he was. Not exactly, but the general direction. Like a pulling sensation. I started running.

When I found him outside the bakery, the relief flooding me was not just that of someone seeing a loved one. This was something different. Very different. Before I could speak, he turned and looked at me with a strange expression on his face. I realized he felt it too. I just had to walk up to him and put my hand on his shoulder, had to touch him. The minute we touched, the worry subsided and I could finally breathe more easily.

We soon found out the feeding had created a bond between us. I had never experienced something so powerful. Even when we were apart, it was like we could connect. Not talk or be specific, but more convey feelings and moods. If I wanted him home, I could get that message across and the same went for him. It was weird, but it became a natural part of our friendship.

A friendship that grew all the time with each feeding. I tried to space out the feedings as much as possible and managed to hold off for three to four months at a time. I did what I could to help out financially too, working as hard as I could to support him. He even managed to go to school and get a diploma, making it possible for him to continue to a higher education. Not that we could afford it yet. I wanted him to have a better life, so I put away money for the future.

After little over two years of living together, sharing our secret, the bond deepening even further by each feeding, I was starting to have all these new and scary feelings about George. He was growing up to be a very handsome, young man. The hard work on farms and various places of business around the town had made his body develop in ways that made it hard for me to keep my eyes off him.

He reminded me of my first love, all innocence and attitude. His hair was shorter now, since he had me to cut it for him. Still, the blond, unruly mop made me want to run my fingers through it. I caught myself staring at his hands on several occasions. His strong hands with slender fingers. I did my best to suppress these budding emotions, knowing he considered me only a friend. A close friend, but a friend nonetheless. I had already asked so much of him and couldn’t add this knowledge to his burden. During the feedings I sometimes couldn’t help getting a firmer hold over his mind, going a little deeper inside him, making him experience the feeding as pleasure, just to hear the slight moans he uttered. They made it so hard to keep quiet, but I knew had to. Another shameful secret I had to keep to protect him. Only this one I could keep forever.

Then suddenly it all changed.