Hot Wheels - 20. The Slippery Slope

Being in love is always good, only when love is not returned, it becomes a problem.

I was quite happy with where I stood with Everett, and that was literally under an umbrella in the street, waiting for Ian who had forgotten his cellphone at Marco’s apartment.

It was just after 9 and the rain had started falling. Marco offered to call us a cab but I thought it would be a waste of money just for a five-minute drive.

“I think tonight was probably the best fun I had in a long time," Everett said, looking up to me.

“Yes, I agree,” I said, making sure the umbrella covers him more than it covers me.

I stole a quick kiss before Ian popped out, but for one second I allowed Everett to linger. He was yearning and so was I.

“Do you think you can spend the night?”

I wish he hadn’t asked me that because we both knew the answer; I wanted to but I couldn’t.

“Got it!” Ian yelled out as he stormed by us.

“You guys, I can’t be getting sick.”

We followed closely behind him, and he almost slipped off the pavement because he was walking too fast.

“Slow down buddy,” Everett yelled.

“That was a close call!” he responded, laughing off the fact that he almost defaced himself.

We made it into the building, but campus security kept us waiting a bit. They get so little action that every little thing gets blown out of proportion with them.

“Geez, fucks!” I said as I pushed Everett to his room.

“LOL,” Ian said aloud. “Angry Andy?”

Ian turned down our hallway, and Everett and I continued on.

When we made it to his room we had to be quiet because his roommate had returned and was already sleeping.

“OK, see you tomorrow,” Everett whispered.

“No, we have to get you out of these wet clothes first,” I said, brushing past Everett.

“No, go sleep hon. I’ll be fine,” he said, flashing me his trademark smile.

“OK, but call me tomorrow when you have an off period, OK?”

“I’ll defo do that. Come here.”

This time, Everett’s lips were more forced on mine, we both lingered and I made sure I felt him up for us long as we both could hold our breaths.

“Slow down bud, you’re going to make me pitch a tent.”

“I already did,” I said looking into his eyes, somehow hoping that he could see if he led me to his bed I would go with him.

“You need to get rest, sweetheart. On your way,” he said, laughing.

“I love you,” I said.

He smiled and for a second I thought that he wouldn't return one.

“I love you more.”

I made my way to the door, opened it and stood there.

Chills. He sent chills down my spine as he proclaimed his love for me so soft and sweetly. I softly closed the door behind me.

I took my time as I walked back to my room. To my surprise, Ian was still outside our door.

“Thank God you and Everett didn’t decide to have a make- out session, because I forgot my key.”

I smiled at him and proceeded to unlock the door.

“Did you have a good night?” I asked as he brushed passed me.

“Yeah, we should all hang out again. Although I'd be the only straight wheel, I don’t care,” Ian joked.

We took turns waiting for each other to finish in the bathroom, and after I got out, Ian was on his bed staring at the ceiling with his hands folded over his chest.

“So, are you tired?”

I shrugged with a bit of annoyance because I was tired indeed, but it was clear Ian wanted to talk a bit before bed.

“No, I’m not,” I said.

Ian, with his eyes still fixed on the ceiling continued. ”I’m scared.”

I didn’t respond. I too lay back on my back because I was feeling a bit uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading.

“You still there?” Ian asked.

“Continue,” I responded.

“I think this student life is doing me good, but I’m afraid that I’m going to lose ambition. I can feel it crawling up my throat, and I’ve always been a quitter.”

I shut my eyes and told Ian something I never told anyone before.

“Back in England there was a boy and I liked him very much, but you know, he never noticed me until one night I saw him getting man–handled outside a gay bar, and as unfortunate as that event might have been for him, at least I knew we had something in common. That being said, there is always something that restores your belief in something - I believed the boy and me would date - you have to wait for your reason, your purpose.”

Ian was quiet for a while before answering me. “Thanks, Andy.” After he said it, I heard him rustling with the covers and soon he became quiet.

I couldn’t sleep, instead my mind traced back to the distant memory I had brought up, and I let it play out.

I was riding home from a friend’s house on my bike one night. Well, she wasn’t a friend but someone who I was paired up with for a class project, and she wanted to have it done before the weekend, and Friday was the last day she could work on. I had to admit, I agreed to do it because I knew about a gay club that was pretty busy on a Friday night, and I wanted to take a little detour.

I heard the thumping music as I turned the street corner, and I got excited. I couldn’t enter because I was only 16 at the time, but that didn’t mean I couldn't have a little peek.

I slowed down and got off the bike, slowly walking on the opposite side of the street, examining each guy that entered and left, wondering which one would make a decent boyfriend. That was when I noticed a young couple quarreling under the flashy neon sign.

“Fuck off, you stuck up prig!” I heard the older guy say, shoving the guy. “You never let me do anything!” he yelled again in frustration.

“Stop it, let me go!”

I froze. I knew that voice. I turned to look once more and I saw him, the boy from school, the one I liked.

My heart raced and I looked away, walking faster so he wouldn’t see me.

“Hey you!”

I kept walking.

“Fucking Andrew!”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Yeah?” I answered.

I saw him running across the street. “Lift home?” he asked.

“I can’t, it’s just a bike.”

“I’m not that heavy. I’ll stand on the back”

“OK,”I said.

He got on, placing his feet on the footholds and squeezing his hands on my shoulders.

Shivers. He sent shivers down my spine because he had his hands on my body and that was the first time a boy had touched me like that.

We were both quiet, I paddled and he held on tighter as I picked up the pace.

“You aren’t telling anyone about this, are you?”

I had heard what he said but still I asked. ”What?”

“Don’t tell anyone you saw me there, OK?”

“Sure.”

Neither of us said anything until I turned a corner and he spoke again. ”You don’t know what they do to guys like me, Andrew; you won’t understand.”

Oh, only if he knew.

“What are you doing out so late anyways?” he asked, quickly changing the mood of the conversation.

“I was at a friend’s house.”

He laughed, and adding insult to injury, he asked a hurtful question.

“You have friends?”

I pulled the breaks immediately, he jerked forward, hitting into my back.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, man?”

“I am the last person you get to insult, keep it up and everyone will know you’re the town queer!” I yelled out in anger.

“Fine, geez. I'll cut it out, Andy.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“You know what? I’ll walk from here,” he said as he backed off.

I got off the bike and followed him, spinning him around. I swallowed my pride and went in, I was so close to him, I could smell his skin but I was blocked by a pair of hands and an expression of disgust.

“Me, the only town queer, huh?” he said with a smirk. “Sorry dude, but I don’t like you that way,” he said, backing away with a mocking laugh.

I thought knowing about him could play into my advantage but now he knew about me too but I watched him back away and I told myself that we would bump into each other again someday and then it’ll be different.

After my little flashback, I pulled the covers over my head, and away to dreamland I was.

The next morning I overslept, probably because the weekend had been so packed. I barely caught a glimpse of Ian leaving for class and I jumped out of bed and ran to the shower, jelling myself down in certain places and scrubbing in others. I got out of the shower feeling half–cleaned but couldn’t help it; maybe an extra run of deodorant would hide any unpleasant smells that might befall me during the day.

I ran to class, feeling bad that I didn’t meet up with Everett like I did every morning, but I was running late and I knew he’d understand.

I might as well have missed my first class because I felt a really bad hint of guilt in the back of my throat throughout the period. The lecturer let us out ten minutes earlier, and I made my way to Everett’s class figuring I could wait for him there and finally see him.

I tried looking through the glass pane in the door, but I couldn’t spot Everett in his class; maybe he was sitting somewhere out of sight, and so I decided to wait for him until his class was over.

Finally the door swung open and a stampede came out, no sight of Everett, but I did spot his roommate and I pulled him to the side.

“Hey man, where’s Everett?”

He looked a bit startled before answering me. “Uhm, you haven’t heard?”

“Now what?”

He couldn’t speak at first and I started to panic.

“Jesus! What is it?”

“Everett… Fell and hit his head in the tub this morning. I don’t know I guess he got in by himself and… I don’t know.”

I could have done the “that’s not funny” I could even have done the “OMG I have to see him!” but instead I did the “fall backward against the wall, slide down and cry as everyone watched.”

“Hey, get up. People are watching,” Everett’s roommate said as he gently grabbed me by the arm.

“He was rushed off to the hospital, but it wasn’t that serious from what I saw,” he tried to comfort me.

I got up and brushed myself off. “I need to go see him.”

I made a dash back to my room and grabbed a coat as I dialed for a cab.

I walked to the front gate, all the while my knees were feeling like jelly.

The cab arrived sooner than I expected and we were off. I asked the driver to go faster, but all he did was stare at me and said, “If someone you know is dying in a hospital than me speeding isn’t going to change anything.”

“Why would you say that?”

“It’s the truth man,” he said, driving as if everything was OK.

Finally I got to the hospital and rushed to the reception desk.

“Everett Caminetti, ”I stated upon arrival.

“Uhm… Yes… Are you related?”

“No, is he OK? Can I see him?” I frantically said as I looked around for any sign of help.

“Sir, calm down, you are upsetting people. I can’t let you see Mr. Caminetti - “

The lady was interrupted by a familiar voice. "It’s OK, he can go through.”

I turned around to see Daniel holding two cups of coffee in his hands.

“Jesus Daniel, they wouldn’t let me in,” I said as I carefully hugged him.

“He isn’t awake but everything seems to be OK,” Daniel said as he led me through the hallway.

“I don’t know what happened,” I said.

“Well, his roommate found him on his back in the tub. He had blood all over and the curtain was torn off, so he must have slipped when he tried getting in the bath by himself.”

“And what about the water?”

“No, he only fills the tub after he gets in after what happened last time.”

“Last time?”

“Yeah, same thing happened, only that time there was water in it, but he didn’t get hurt and my dad heard him screaming for help just in time.”

“Here,” Daniel pointed to his room, but I told him to wait as I looked through the window. Everett was sleeping with a bandage around his head and both his parents were in the room with him.

“They won’t bite,” Daniel said as he opened the door.

“We have company,” he announced and I trailed in behind him. Neither of his parents seemed too eager to see me. I stood to one side and greeted just by waving my hand awkwardly.

I felt like I couldn’t get any closer. All I could do was observe from afar.

We stayed like that for a while until his parents started to speak.

“He needs to come home,” said his mother.

“That might be too drastic. He is almost done with college, we can’t just pull him out now,” his dad responded.

“This can’t happen again. Next time he won’t just have a head injury, this happened because he is distracted!”

For the latter part of her sentence, Everett’s mom decided to concentrate her gaze on me; she was saying it but also she wasn’t saying it, I was the “distraction”.

“Fine… Maybe he can continue his studies from home,” his dad added.

“No, you can’t. That’s not what Everett would want,” I said, trying to remain calm.

“I’m sorry, but what you think doesn’t matter. My son is coming home and that’s final. Please respect our privacy and leave.”

I didn’t respond. I knew his mom was distraught and all, but I removed myself from the room, followed by Daniel.

“I’m sorry… I’ll keep you updated, OK?”

“Did the doctor say anything?”

“They said he can go home as soon as he wakes up, and they are positive it’ll be by later today, but he might not come back to campus as you heard.”

“They can’t take him away from me, Daniel,” I said as I collapsed in his arms.

“I know, I know,” he said calming me, but he didn’t know anything.

I drove away in a cab not sure when I was going to see Everett, and I knew that he wouldn’t have the strength to resist his parents even if he tried to. I thought everything had been going so well, but I was wrong.

“Stupid fucking bathtub!”