You Make Me...Angry - 7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Jae read music sheets, changing notes as he hummed the music. His phone buzzed on the desk, a message. He stared at the alert for a second, and then returned his attention back to the music sheets. He liked the flow of the notes, very full and energetic. The song matched Rebellion but it needed a lot of cleanup.

His gaze shifted to his phone again, the screen dark now.

He’d avoided Dan for two days. Two whole days as he tried to dislodge the knot of jealousy lodged in his chest. Jealousy hurt more than actual pain.

Jae forced his attention back to the music sheets: he loved the bridge, humming the song to the chorus, his pen paused.

Why would Dan not tell him about a wife? He hated the thought of Dan loving someone enough to want to marry her and live a life together. That kind of intimacy level…his frown deepened, for Dan to make such a commitment.

Jae scoffed.

He wasn’t naïve. Dan was a grown man after all. Of course he’d have loved before, been with other people.

Shaking his head, Jae wondered if he was acting like a child.

“Hyung,” Junghee broke into his thoughts.

Jae glanced up to find Junghee watching him. There were in his basement studio. HE had convinced Junghee to move in with him until he felt stronger. Junghee now sat in his chair, arms crossed against his chest, watching him.

Thankfully, the paleness was gone. Jae didn’t like seeing Junghee hurting.

“Did you take your meds?” Jae asked, remembering the prescription he’d filled for Junghee at discharge. “You’re supposed to take them three times a day.”

“I did,” Junghee grumbled. “Where’s Dan? He hasn’t come home since I came over.”

Jae shrugged and returned his gaze to the music sheets.

“He’s probably at the office.”

“Did you fight with him?”

“No.” The protest came easily, looking at Junghee was harder.

“It’s not right for Dan not to come home, hyung. Call him, we’ll have dinner together. I’ll cook.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Jae scowled. “You are supposed to rest. Besides, I can’t call Dan right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t,” Jae shook his head. “He—

“What?” Junghee asked. “Did Dan do something wrong? You kiss strangers, have it splashed on papers across the nation, still Dan comes home to you. What did he do that you won’t let him come home?”

“He has a wife,” Jae said, anger lacing his words.

Junghee gaped in surprise.

Jae rubbed his eyes and dropped the pen on his desk.

“Are you sure?” Junghee asked.

Jae got up, anxiety creeping in at the thought of Justine.

“I met her at the hospital. She looked frail and I thought she was out of her mind. The woman she was with called her Mrs. Suk. Dan didn’t deny it.”

“That’s—

Junghee broke off.

“There has to be an explanation, hyung. Dan would never do this to you.”

“I want to believe that too,” Jae said pacing the length of the room. “You have no idea how hard this is. I—I’m afraid to hear the truth.”

“When did Dan leave?’ Junghee asked.

“Two days ago,” Jae said.

“You can’t leave it there, hyung. Dan, you love him. You can’t run away or hide. It’s not an option and you know it, that’s why you’re afraid.”

“Beautiful speech,” Jae scoffed. “You know me right. How selfish I can be.”

“I guess being scared is a way to be selfish,” Junghee noted. “Do you really want to let him go?”

“Of course not,” Jae said, his eyes wide. He couldn’t even imagine not having Dan in his life. The thought paralyzed him.

“You keep asking Dan to trust you with problems. Don’t you think it’s time to show him you can handle them?”

“Junghee—

“Dan needs someone to lean on too,” Junghee cut in. “This can’t be easy for him.”

Jae scowled, annoyed by Junghee’s ability to get right to the point.

“Go,” Junghee nodded to the door. “Bring him home.”

Jae sighed and stared at his best friend. “How can I leave you alone here?”

“I’m not alone. My assistant is coming over. Your house is like a vault these days. I’m safe. Don’t worry about me, hyung. You need to bring Dan home.”

Jae rubbed his eyes. “Fine, I’ll go listen to what he has to say.”

“Do more than listen,” Junghee said. "Bring him home."

***

Jae left Ken with Junghee; he drove his motorcycle to the Jade Entertainment offices, taking the underground entrance, he parked close to the elevators. Taking his helmet, he rode the elevator to the executive floor. Jade Entertainment had grown in the past year and a half, thanks to Dan’s leadership. The company now represented fifteen actors, one musician and Rebellion.

Dan had redesigned the building six months ago, adding four floors above the original six. Jae got out on tenth floor and walked through the open reception area to Dan’s office.

He didn’t knock, simply pushed the door open.

It was five in the evening, as always Dan sat behind his desk, though he wasn’t working. His legs were up on the table, beside an empty bottle of scotch, his shirt looked disheveled. Dan was asleep in the uncomfortable position.

Jae closed the door and walked into the office. He placed his helmet on the closest couch and went to stand by the desk. There were dark shadows under Dan’s eyes, he looked like hadn’t shaved that morning too. Jae removed his gloves and stuffed them into his leather jacket. He leaned on the table, watching Dan sleep. His heart ached, Dan rarely drunk. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Dan get wasted. Taking the empty bottle of whiskey, he sighed and moved it aside.

Jae wiped a hand down his face and decided his jealousy could take a step back. Reaching out, he stroked Dan’s jaw. The reaction was immediate. Dan opened his eyes, leaning into the touch. Dan’s hand came up, capturing Jae’s. Jae smiled when Dan kissed his wrist.

“How did you know it was me?” Jae asked, meeting sleepy dark eyes.

“Your scent,” Dan said, his tone rough with sleep. “You’re here.”

“You shouldn’t sleep like this. You’ll hurt your back.”

Dan stared at him, not moving.

“What?” Jae asked after a moment.

“Are you still angry with me?”

Jae took Dan’s legs, gently directing them to the floor, forcing Dan to sit up with a groan.

“You look terrible. You need a hot shower, and food.”

Jae closed his eyes when Dan grabbed his arm and pulled him on to his lap. He sat stiff for a moment, but then Dan ran a hand down his back, and he gave in, melting back against Dan’s warmth. He turned to face Dan, and moaned when Dan kissed him. Jae wrapped his arms around Dan, holding him tight as they kissed. Tears filled his eyes because he didn’t know that he could live without this, without Dan’s love. There would be no surviving it.

“I miss you,” Dan whispered against his lips. “Can I come home?”

Jae buried his face into Dan’s shoulder, his fingers bunching Dan’s soft shirt.

“Yes,” he said, his voice muffled against Dan’s shoulder. “Junghee is staying with us until he’s stronger. He wants to have dinner together.”

Dan nodded and rubbed his back. “He sent you here.”

“I miss you too. His nagging gave me a reason to come find you.”

Dan wrapped his arms tighter around Jae. “I’m glad you came.”

Jae sighed. “We need to talk, Dan.”

“I know.” Dan let go of him and Jae got to his feet. “Can we talk at home?”

Jae looked around Dan’s office, remembering he had a stalker and he nodded.

Dan got up fast, his smile so bright, Jae almost laughed. Jae went around the desk to take his helmet from the couch.

Dan took his suit jacket and grabbed his car keys from the corner of his desk. He walked around the desk and took Jae’s right hand. They left the office, only pausing for Dan to lock it. Jae pulled his hand out of Dan’s hold as they went down the corridor to the elevators.

“Where is Ken?” Dan frowned.

“I left him at home with Junghee. I took the motorcycle.”

“Are you insane? Junghee was just in an accident.”

“I couldn’t leave him alone—

“You make me so…angry, sometimes,” Dan shook his head as the elevator doors opened. “Do you ever think about me, Jae? What I would do if something happened to you?”

“You mean like you thought about me when you didn’t tell me you have a wife?” Jae entered the elevator and leaned on the wall. “Like that, Dan?”

“That’s not the same.”

“It is,” Jae said as the doors slid closed. “How could you do that to me?”

“I thought we were going to do this at home?”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

Dan sighed. “I’m not married.”

“She has your last name.”

“Because her parents are dead, and I was her only family,” Dan said. “Our divorce went through six months ago.”

Jae closed his eyes. “You and I have been together longer than that.”

“I wasn’t cheating on you with that crazy woman, Jae. I haven’t met her since we went to the States. I deal with her through my lawyer, and her doctor. She’s legally certifiable.”

Jae fought the lump of jealousy, swallowing hard as the elevators opened in the basement. He started heading for his motorcycle, but Dan wouldn’t have it.

“I’m driving you home.”

“I can’t leave my motorcycle.”

“Your motorcycle is safe here,” Dan took his hand and pulled him toward his car. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

“We’re going to fight on the road,” Jae complained, gripping his helmet.

“Then let’s fight.” Dan opened the passenger seat of his black Mercedes and urged Jae into the car. “I would prefer we do that instead of argue in front of Junghee.”

Jae sighed as the door was slammed closed. He shifted and threw his helmet in the backseat.

Dan joined him a minute later.

“Do you love her?” Jae asked.

“I love you.”

“Do you love her?” Jae asked again, looking at Dan.

Dan placed his hands on the steering wheel. “I care what happens to her. She was family to me for a while.”

That was fair, Jae thought. He cared about his ex-boyfriend, Jaesun, too, in a way.

But—, no, it wasn’t the same.

“We lived together for a year,” Dan offered in the ensuing silence. “I was twenty-four, working my way up at the old company. Justine and I grew up together, and she was lonely. We had good chemistry, so we got married thinking it would work out. It didn’t. She drove me nuts, but that’s because I didn’t realize Justine was mentally ill. By the end of the year, we were both in a bad place. Justine needed help, and we hated each other so much, we couldn’t see straight. Harry helped us.”

“Harry knows?” Jae asked.

“He and I are childhood friends, Jae. He saved us. Got Justine admitted in hospital after a particularly bad episode. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Harry helped me see straight ‘coz I thought I was going crazy too.”

Jae wiped a hand down his face. “You have a whole chunk of your life that I don’t know about.”

“Jae—

“I feel like an outsider with you,” Jae said, his heart aching. “I love you, and you’ve made me feel like I don’t know you, Dan.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you,” Dan said. “I wanted to. It just got easier not to. We were doing so well.”

“In your opinion,” Jae said with a little scoff. “You promised to trust me with our problems.”

“Would you have handled this if I told you last year?” Dan asked. “Or when you were obsessing over Rebellion, working to come back to Seoul, do you think you could have handled it?”

“I don’t know,” Jae said. “We’ve lived together for almost two years.”

“Barely,” Dan said. “You’re always on tour, Jae. This is the first time you’ve been home for an extended period.”

Jae stared at Dan at a loss. “I don’t know what to say that.”

“Do you love me?”

“I love you,” Jae said. Dan was everything to him.

“Good. Let’s go home and sort out the rest,” Dan said.

Jae grabbed Dan’s hand on the steering wheel.

“You drive home, and it’s a promise that you’ll sit down and tell me everything about your life, Dan. I refuse to be an outsider.”

Dan shifted in his seat to study him. “You’re not an outsider.”

Jae held Dan’s gaze.

“I’m someone you can lean on, Dan. I want to be someone you need.”

“Gods, Jae.” Dan reached for Jae, pulling him into a hungry kiss. When they broke apart, Dan said, “You mean everything to me.”

***

This evening, he’d come in hoping to catch a glimpse of Jaehan in the studio. He’d discovered Jaehan liked to use the basement entrance when he was moving around incognito. Seeing Jaehan’s motorcycle parked in front of the elevators, he’d felt like he’d won the lottery. Now, pressed against a pillar in the basement parking lot, the euphoria was rapidly disappearing.

Jaehan and Dan had emerged from the elevator arguing. Then Dan grabbed Jaehan’s arm, the expression on his face so intimate, it had shocked him.

He could never have imagined Kim Jaehan and Suk Dan together. Their argument looked heated, intense. He closed his eyes. The quiet CEO who supported Rebellion in the background…it all made sense now. Jaehan and Dan, they matched.

Damn it, how could he compete with Suk Dan?

Now he understood why Jaehan had never noticed him, not even on his best dressed day.

He opened his eyes and peeked to the Mercedes just in time to see it drive off. God, Jaesun was right. He was going to have to change his tactics.

***

Dan stood in the living room staring at the empty space between the couches. There was a new vase in the corner, and the television was different. Jae must have lost his temper.

“I broke your favorite coffee table,” Jae said, coming in from checking on Junghee in the studio. “I can’t find a replacement.”

Dan sighed and moved to sit on the armchair. “You should have changed the carpet and repainted the walls while you’re at it.”

Jae scoffed. “I was going to cut the hair too.”

“I noticed,” Dan gave him a dry smile. “You had your assistant changing your schedule the last two days. You never actually made it to Red’s Hair.”

Jae crossed his arms against his chest. “I happen to like my hair long.”

“Jae—

“I’ll make dinner. Junghee needs to eat proper meals because of his meds.”

Jae turned and went down the corridor to the kitchen.

Dan sat on the couch for a moment, staring at the empty space where the coffee table had lived. Ken wandered in from the basement. He carried a box full of discarded music sheets.

“You came,” Ken said in greeting, holding the box to the side.

Dan glanced at him. “How could you let Jae travel alone?”

“He wasn’t alone,” Ken said with a smile. “He asked me to look out for Junghee, so I couldn’t refuse. However, he had two men following him the whole time.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Dan said with a frown. “I don’t trust anyone else with him, Ken.”

“I understand,” Ken said.

Dan’s gaze returned to the empty space again.

“Jae fell apart the night you left. We lost the coffee table to that.” Ken offered. “He has me searching for an identical coffee table, but I can’t find one.”

Dan got up. “Thanks for taking care of him.”

“I don’t know what happened between you, but I don’t think he can handle you not here, boss.”

Dan removed his suit jacket and undid his tie. “I know.”

Ken nodded and lifted the box. “I will take this outside, then.”

After Ken left, Dan folded his shirtsleeves and went to the kitchen. He found Jae washing zucchini at the sink. His hair held back in a ponytail, a black apron tied around his hips. Soft music filled the kitchen, an array of vegetables laid out on the chopping board on the counter.

Dan washed his hands at the sink, got a knife from the holder, and reached for the clean tomatoes in a bowl. Dan started slicing tomatoes into halves. They worked side by side, quickly turning the vegetables into a delicious stew to be eaten with rice.

Dan liked cooking with Jae. He stole glances every chance he got, watching Jae taste the stew, watching him make a spinach salad…watching him clean the dishes they made.

“What?” Jae asked.

“Mmm…nothing,” Dan said with a smile. He washed oranges and started slicing them into quarters.

“You’re watching me,” Jae said coming to stand next to him.

“I do it all the time.” Dan took a piece of orange, peeling it; he held it against Jae’s lips. He watched the sweet fruit disappear into Jae’s mouth. A drop of orange juice appeared at the corner of Jae’s lips. Dan leaned in and licked it away.

Jae stood still, turning his head slightly into him. Dan studied Jae’s lips, wanting to kiss him.

“We need to talk,” Jae said, closing his eyes.

“We will,” Dan said, “after we take care of Jung.”

Jae nodded. “I—

Dan kissed Jae then, taking in the taste of oranges and spices. He slipped his arm around Jae’s waist and pulled him to his arms. Holding him tight as Jae melted against him.

Jae broke the kiss with a sigh. “The food is getting cold.”

Dan wrapped his arms around Jae, hugging him tight.. “I won’t leave you again, even when you tell me to…I won’t.”

Dan smiled when Jae’s fingers bunched his shirt.

“I’m glad you’re home,” Jae whispered into his shoulder.

***