Mr. Brightside - 11. Chapter 11

Mr. Brightside

Chapter 11

When the day finally arrived for Jason to return to Tech, he was as excited and nervous as he had been last year as a freshman. True, he was returning to a now-familiar campus; in fact, he was returning to the same dorm, floor, and resident assistant as last year, but he was definitely keyed up to see Shane again for the first time since their kiss.

The nervousness stemmed from being alone with his friend for the first time since the incident; while the nervousness was still strong, the boys’ time apart during the summer had done much to calm it from the overwhelming emotion that had been when Jason realized Shane had fled without a word except for that stupid note. Jason wasn’t completely able to convince himself everything would go back to the way it was before, but he was no longer certain that his relationship with his roommate was ruined.

Besides, whenever his feelings of anxiety over seeing Shane started to take over, Jason was able to focus on the excitement of the new school year. Though the workload had been even harder than he had anticipated last year, Jason had been having a lot of fun at college before he had gotten caught up with his confusion about Shane. He was convinced that fun should, and could, be his focus this year. Sure, he would have to spend a lot of time on school work, but Jason was determined to be more active in the social aspects of college. Maybe even find a steady girl.

This year, Jason decided definitively, things would be different. Maybe part of his problem with Shane had been that as existing friends, they had led too insular a life. No real need to go to mixers, hang out with classmates, or talk to other dorm dwellers when you already live with your best friend. No real need to drag yourselves to football games during inclimate weather when you can watch them in the comfort of your dorm room with beer bought with fake I.D.s. That was the problem, Jason though, I need to get out more. No more sitting around the dorm room. Really experience life. Meet the right girl.

By the time Jason arrived, excitement had won the battle for his emotions. He knew that Shane had arrived the day before, moving in as soon as the dorm allowed; Jason had to work an unexpected last shift that had delayed his return by a day. True, Jason had vowed to never work at Wal-Mart again and seriously considered just not showing up, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to blow it off. Besides, he was honest with himself, Jason wasn’t quite as ready to face Shane as he thought and was secretly happy to have the slight reprieve to bolster himself.

Jason, noticing the clueless freshman with the condescension only a sophomore can experience, was pleased to find checking in with Billy, the R.A. was painless. Jason took his key from Billy, and with a pounding heart, walked down the hall to the corner room he shared with Shane. Pausing to gather himself, his unlocked the door and pushed it open to discover an unoccupied room.

Shane’s things were there; in fact, it seemed that Shane had actually brought more things this year than last. In addition to his laptop and electronics, Shane seemed to have brought a large portion of his book collection, a lot of the memorabilia that Jason remembered seeing in Shane’s bedroom last time he was in Holly Grove, and, judging from the clothes bulging out of the open door of the closet, his entire wardrobe.

Feeling both relieved he didn’t have to face Shane quite yet, and let down at the same time, Jason quickly scanned the room to see if Shane had left a note or anything. Nothing. With a frown, Jason went back downstairs to retrieve another load of possessions from his car. As he was making his final trip, Jason received an unpleasant surprise; letting himself out of a room not far from his own was none other than Thomas McAlpin.

“Hey, dude,” Thomas said with a smile, noticing Jason.

“Hey,” Jason replied in a clipped tone.

“You live on this floor, too?” Thomas asked.

“No. Carrying suitcases around random dorms is my new workout.”

“You don’t have to be an asshole. I was just asking a question.”

Jason sighed. “Sorry. Long day. Yeah, I live on this floor, corner room.”

“Sweet. Maybe I’ll stop by one day,” Thomas said with a sly grin.

“Whatever. Look, I need to finish unpacking. See you.”

Great, Jason thought as he set down his bags. Thomas Mutherfucking McAlpin living two doors down. He sighed and started putting his clothes away. He sighed again when he realized he had left his phone charging in the car and would need to make yet one trip downstairs. When he opened the door to the hallway, he stopped short.

Thomas was still in the hallway. Now the mutherfucker was talking to Shane! Jason paused in his outrage to examine in his friend whom he hadn’t seen in months.

Shane was quite a bit thinner than when he left at the end of Spring Quarter. And his hair was different, too; not only bleached almost platinum by his time in the sun, it was cut short. Jason felt a quick pang; he had admired Shane’s shoulder length locks. Still, the cut was flattering; between it and the weight loss, Shane’s strong jaw and high cheekbones were accentuated. Shane was also deeply tanned; his long sleeved ice blue tee complemented his golden skin and brought out the blue in his eyes. For a moment Jason stared, then concentrated on listening to the conversation between Shane and Thomas; an emotion very akin to jealousy was rising in his veins.

“You’re Jason’s roommate, right?” Thomas said.

Shane seemed surprised to be recognized. “Yes,” he said. “And you are?”

Thomas smiled, his perfect white teeth brilliant against his olive skin. “Thomas McAlpin,” he said, extending his right hand. “Jason and I went to school together his senior year. Well, he was a senior….I was a lowly junior. I recognized you from his Facebook.”

“Oh,” Shane said, extending his own hand. “I’m Shane O’Neal. Nice to meet you. So, I’m assuming you’re a freshman?”

“Guilty as charged,” Thomas replied, still smiling.

Before either Shane or Thomas could say anything else, Jason spoke sharply, “Shane!”

Shane looked up, startled, and a tentative smile crossed his lips. “Hey, Jason.” He turned back to Thomas. “It was nice to meet you, but I still have some settling in to do.” He continued down the hall and into the dorm. Thomas’s eyes followed his progress, appraising Shane’s ass. Thomas looked up to notice Jason glaring at him. Thomas just smiled as Jason slammed the door.

Once inside, Shane walked over to his side of the room, and began arranged his books on the shelves over his builtin desk. “Thomas seems nice,” he said.

“He’s alright,” Jason said, unzipping another bag. “But watch out for him…..he’s…” Jason paused. How could warn Shane without giving anything away? “....a bit of a party boy. One of those poor little rich boy types.”

“Poor little rich boy?” Shane asked, puzzled, turning to Jason.

“You know… big house, lots of cash, sports car, but his dad is a bigwig in Washington who ignores him.”

“Oh, okay. How was your summer?” Shane asked. “We didn’t get to talk much.”

“It was okay. I worked at Wal-Mart.” Jason grimaced. “The party at Paul’s for the Fourth was fun. Too bad you missed it.”

“Well, one of the other lifeguards broke his arm. We were short staffed, and it was too late in the season to hire another. I hated to miss the party, but I didn’t mind the extra hours. Better than being home.”

“Paul said your stepmom is kind of a pill.”

Shane snorted. “You have no idea. Thank God, I like to read. With no internet, no cell service, I would have gone crazy at the farm without something to read. I had to take my current read with me to the pool, though...otherwise I’m sure Janice would have been riffling through the pages to make sure it was ‘suitable.’”

Shane continued, “I feel sorry for my step brother. At least I got to escape at the end of the summer. I am never going back...at least not to stay.”

“Is that why you brought so much stuff back? Did they actually kick you out or something?”

“No,” Shane sighed. “But they did ask me to switch rooms with Brandon. Something about it not being fair for me to hog the larger bedroom while I’m gone to college, and it’s empty most of the time. It’s not like it’s been my bedroom since birth or anything,” he said bitterly. “I figured I’d better take the stuff that mattered with me before it ended up in a garage sale.”

“That sucks, dude,” Jason said. Shane looked so sad, Jason had an urge to hug the other guy.

“Oh well, I’m almost 20, and it’s not like I was planning to go home after graduation. I’ll just get a job in Ruston next summer. In fact, that’s where I was this morning: applying to be a lifeguard at the parish park. The swimming season’s almost over for this year, but I figured I’d get a head start on the spring applicants. Get my name out there.”

“Smart plan,” Jason approved. “Why did you cut your hair so short?” he asked.

Shane looked self conscious. “All that chlorine was getting to it, besides somehow my ponytail was an affront to God and was making the Baby Jesus weep or something. Just seemed easier to cut it.” He raised his arm to run over his head, causing his shirt sleeve to ride up his forearm.

Jason’s own arm shot out, grabbing Shane’s wrist and pulling it toward him. “What the fuck?” Jason said, examining Shane’s wrist. Thin slashes of red adorned it.

Shane twisted his wrist from Jason’s grip. “It’s nothing. One of the cats scratched it.”

“It doesn’t look like a cat scratch.”

“Leave it.” Shane’s tone was hard. “I’m going to the bookstore to buy my books. Do you want to come?” The question was not asked in a welcoming way.

“No thanks. I’ll stay here and unpack. I don’t have class until 10 on Monday. I’ll get them before then.”

“Okay, see you.”

Well, Jason thought wryly, that went well. He was worried about those scratches, though; they didn’t look like anything an animal would do. They looked too regular, too deliberate. Jason made a decision to keep a close eye on Shane...

But after that rocky beginning, things actually seemed to be going well. Though Jason didn’t feel the same sort of closeness as before the incident, things in the room weren’t as awkward as he feared. And both of them seemed to determined to put a fresh start on their university careers. As Shane lost more and more of the tenseness he had brought back with him from Holly Grove, Jason’s vigil relaxed.

Jason had followed his faculty adviser’s counsel, and had only signed up for 9 hours of credit instead of the usual 12, which meant that he had a little more breathing room than he had during the last quarter. And he used his extra free time to try some more university events. He even managed a couple of dates with a brunette who was in his Psych class.

Shane also seemed to throw himself into more activities, including helping his cousin, Charlie, with preparing a Thanksgiving program for the Baptist Students Union. Shane wasn’t a member of the BSU, unlike his devout relative; however, he was a skilled pianist and was willing to lend his talent to help his cousin when the other accompanist found the time commitment too taxing.

And to Jason’s unhappiness, Shane and Thomas seemed to hit it off. All too often for the chestnut haired boy’s happiness, he would come in from a study group, a night out with some engineering majors, or a date to find the two hanging out. Thomas had also recruited Shane as a workout buddy, and while Jason couldn’t help but admire the impact on Shane’s physique as the blond regained some of his lost weight in the form of muscle, he couldn’t be comfortable with the idea of the two spending so much time together.

One day, spotting Thomas studying in one of the carrels in the library, Jason decided to quiz him about his intentions. He studiously ignored the voice asking What the fuck are you doing? How is this any of your business? Are you Shane’s father?

“Hey,” Jason said approaching Thomas.

“Hey, yourself.”

Jason sat down on the chair across the small table from the other man. “So you and Shane have been spending a lot of time together.”

A smile crossed Thomas’s face. It took Jason aback; it was a warm smile, soft somehow. Not like Thomas’s usual sly grin. “We have,” he said.

“Look,” Jason said, desperately searching for the right words. “He’s a nice guy….he’s been sheltered...he’s…..” Jason floundered.

Thomas’s face darkened. “You don’t have to tell me he’s a nice guy. I know that. What’s your point?”

“I don’t want you fucking around with him.” It came out harsher than Jason had intended.

“What are you? His daddy?”

“No, I’m his friend.”

“Really?” Thomas asked, rising, and gathering his books and notes. “Because for a friend, you spend an awful lot of time ignoring him.” Thomas shoved his things into his backpack. “And for the record, I’m not the asshole you apparently think I am. I would never do anything to hurt Shane. But let’s get one thing clear,” Thomas said, leaning over the table and glaring at Jason. “What Shane and I do is none of your goddamn business. Capisce?” With that, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and stormed away.

"Asshole," Jason muttered under his breath as he watched Thomas leave; but he felt chastised.

As Fall Quarter rolled on, and the Thanksgiving holidays and quarter break approached, things between Jason and Shane continued to go smoothly. Mainly because they saw each other ever more rarely. It seemed, at least to Jason, that every moment that Shane wasn’t in class or helping his cousin, Shane was somewhere with Thomas or leaving to meet Thomas or making plans with Thomas. It wasn’t entirely fair to be jealous about that, Jason knew, since Shane regularly invited Jason to join them, or at least had at the beginning of the term. Jason always had other plans: a study group, a movie he planned to see at the Student Union or a date. Eventually Shane had stopped asking.

The quarter ended right before Thanksgiving, and by the week before finals, Jason was heartily sick of Tech and college and life. But mainly, he was sick of not hanging out with his friend. He knew that he had been deliberately distancing himself from Shane, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the loss of the other guy’s companionship. He was contemplating asking Shane to join him for the break between quarters, but hadn’t been able to decide whether or not to do it when his roommate dropped a bomb on him.

Jason, at home in the dorm room because of a cancelled class, was trying to come to a decision about his invitation when Shane burst through the door. The blond was humming, and obviously in a great mood.

“Oh, hey,” Shane said. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Class was cancelled. The professor’s wife went into labor.”

“Cool.”

Jason watched his roommate divest himself of his backpack. Shane walked over to his closet, pausing to toe off his shoes. He stripped off his button-down shirt and snug jeans and started rooting through his drawers, presumably for some more comfortable clothes and oblivious to his roommate’s presence. Against his will, Jason stared at his friend’s beautiful back. Those workouts with that bastard Thomas were definitely paying dividends. Thomas was still an asshole though, Jason thought.

“Guess what,” Shane said excitedly, still turned away from Jason as he pulled on a tee and basketball shorts.

“What?” Jason asked in a strangled tone.

“We’re gonna be neighbors for Thanksgiving!”

“What?” Jason repeated. “Neighbors?”

“Yep. Thomas asked me to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with him. Thank God. I didn’t want to go home, but I have to admit spending Thanksgiving in the dorm would be depressing, and Paul wasn’t sure he’d be around.”

It took a moment for the news to register with Jason. “You’re spending Thanksgiving with Thomas? And the Senator?”

“His dad won’t be there. He and the stepmother,” Shane grimaced at the word, “won’t be there. Some fact finding trip to Europe. They don’t want the taxpayers to find out they took the son and get pissy, so they didn’t invite Thomas. We will all have to hang out when I’m there.” Shane smiled at Jason, “It’ll be nice to spend some time with you.”

“Sounds peachy,” Jason said in a sarcastic tone.

“Peachy? What the hell? Have you been watching Andy Griffith lately or something,” Shane said laughing.

With Shane’s amusement, the tension in Jason eased. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“Well, since we’re both off at the same time in, like, forever, let do something together.”

Jason looked at Shane. Shane had definitely bounced back from whatever unpleasantness the summer had held. The thin, tense near-stranger that had greeted Jason on that first day back was gone. The hair had grown out a bit, the deep tan had faded to a warm glow, and the body had filled back in. But more importantly, the sparkle was back in Shane’s blue-green eyes.

“I haven’t whupped somebody’s ass at racquetball lately,” Jason said.

“And you think you’re ready to whup some ass today?” Shane replied, arching an eyebrow.

“Sure,” said Jason, pushing himself up from the bed. “I’m ready, willing, and able. Loser buys pizza.”

“You're on.”

Jason enjoyed the afternoon of racquetball. And afterwards, after losing three out of five, Shane treated him to pizza. Jason tried not to feel too much satisfaction when Shane turned down a dinner invitation from Thomas in order to take Jason to Pizza Inn. “Sorry, Thomas. I have a debt of honor to pay. How about lunch tomorrow?”

Jason had thought he had made peace with Thomas and Shane hanging out. He had seen no evidence they were anything other than friends and had, in fact, convinced himself that he would somehow sense it if that were not the case. He, Jason, was straight (even though he was finding it ever more difficult to muster up the interest to continue asking out the girl from his Psych class despite her good looks and obvious interest) and Shane was straight and last spring had been a fluke. A drunken fluke. True, Thomas was a whore, but that wasn't really any of Jason's business.

And then, Jason found Thomas’s texts to Shane. Jason had been in the room going over notes before class when he heard the buzzing. It took a moment, and then Jason recognized the noise; it was Shane’s phone. Not really thinking about it, he went to the source of the sound, discovering the phone tangled in Shane’s bedding. As he picked it up, a text popped up onscreen: Where are you, baby? Waiting 4 U at union.

Baby? Jason thought. Who’s calling Shane, baby?

And then he accessed the phone. Shane didn’t typically use passwords and lock codes; he had a notoriously bad memory for passwords and kept forgetting them, so he had abandoned their use. There was no barrier to Jason reading the messages and searching the phone.

And there were so many messages; mainly from Thomas

I love you and Last night was incredible and all sorts of much more explicit texts. There were selfies of Shane and Thomas in intimate embraces and pictures of Thomas’s naked body. There were pics of them at what appeared to be a gay bar. There were emails and love notes, and it all meant one thing: Shane had picked a fucking rich boy manwhore over Jason. Jason had gone out on a limb to express his feelings, only to be passed over for someone else.

Shane, his Shane, so freaked out by a kiss that he had fled like a fucking virgin running from the Huns was sexting Thomas Mutherfucking McAlpin, manwhore of the tri-state area. Shane, who had basically ignored Jason’s existence since last Spring wasn’t straight or confused or whatever…..he was just another gay slut; another notch on Thomas’s bedpost.

Rage consumed Jason. Thoughts of notes and class and anything but confronting Shane and pounding Thomas's face into hamburger were gone. Time ceased to have meaning. In what seemed an instant, Jason had moved from reading that first text to standing in the Student Union, searching for Shane. He spotted him at a table with his cousin, Charlie.

Jason stormed over. Shane, somehow sensing him, looked up, confused.

“Jason?”

“You forgot your phone,” Jason said, displaying it briefly before throwing it to the ground with a satisfying crunch.

“What the…” was all Shane managed before Jason started screaming.

“So you’re gay? You’re a faggot, now? You have got to be kidding me.”

Shane blanched as heads snapped toward the drama. “Jason, what are you doing?”

“I read your text messages. So you’re fucking Thomas McAlpin? That’s really something to be proud of.”

“What the fuck?” Jason heard an exclamation behind him. He twirled around. There was Thomas, a tray of food in his hand, a horrified expression on his face.

“You mutherfucker,” Jason screamed, punching Thomas with all the force he could muster. The blow took Thomas by surprise, and he staggered back, dropping his tray before falling to the floor.

“Jason!” Shane yelled, getting up and rushing toward his roommate as his cousin sat watching the scene unfold with astonishment. Shane grabbed Jason by the shoulders as the enraged man advanced upon his prey.

“Get your faggot hands off me,” Jason yelled, swirling around and pushing Shane backwards. The blond staggered into the table behind him. The sight of Shane’s stricken faced pierced Jason’s rage. Like clouds before the wind, it fled leaving horrified awareness in its wake. Jason looked around him, at Thomas on the ground, at the fascinated spectators, and at Shane’s tear stained face.

“What have I done? What have I done?” Jason whispered. Then he turned on his heel and fled.