A Man in a Room, and other poems - 2. a man in a room

By the second line, you had me in the mood, reading in a melancholy cadence. Methodically chewing, because that's all one can do, except weep with emptiness and loneliness. I have felt that way before, and you recall it to mind with the vividness of my own memory. So very well done.

On 09/05/2016 05:35 AM, Parker Owens said:

By the second line, you had me in the mood, reading in a melancholy cadence. Methodically chewing, because that's all one can do, except weep with emptiness and loneliness. I have felt that way before, and you recall it to mind with the vividness of my own memory. So very well done.

Thank you, Parker. You suddenly make me see why I put all those commas in there originally. This poem kept getting edited right up to the last second, but in the end I decided to be faithful to the original punctuation. And now you make me see that was a good thing. Thank you!

Gosh this is sad and barren. To me, the room, where he sits is empty and cold. And he knows this is his life - lonely. How he eats is regimented with no enjoyment. But it's what he does after eating I'm curious to know.
Nice AC!

Sigh...I've been there so often. This was the age I had my first sexual encounter, it was nice, tender and with my best friend...but he wound up getting married to a girl who didn't like me, and she managed to wreck our friendship.
It's not much of a consolation, but there's something to be said for having a pet.

It is a discerning but certainly a sad poem, bordering on forlorn.

But, to me, the final word of each line, taken in a string, could be the points of a slightly different tale.

Not enough coffee yet, I guess.

On 09/05/2016 11:28 PM, skinnydragon said:

It is a discerning but certainly a sad poem, bordering on forlorn.

 

But, to me, the final word of each line, taken in a string, could be the points of a slightly different tale.

 

Not enough coffee yet, I guess.

dinner; another – meal

old, slow sad,

solemn, alone – alone

another; weeping hear –

memories?

An interesting perspective, Skinny. I thank you for the review and support. I think as a poem of its time and place it's pretty representative (unfortunately) of my state of being then.

Thanks again

On 09/05/2016 08:17 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

Sigh...I've been there so often. This was the age I had my first sexual encounter, it was nice, tender and with my best friend...but he wound up getting married to a girl who didn't like me, and she managed to wreck our friendship.

It's not much of a consolation, but there's something to be said for having a pet.

Yes, CG, pets are a great joy. I always wanted a dog when I was a kid, but my first one came to me when I was 27. I'll always have dogs now....

Thanks for reading and supporting my work. I appreciate it a great deal

On 09/05/2016 09:41 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Gosh this is sad and barren. To me, the room, where he sits is empty and cold. And he knows this is his life - lonely. How he eats is regimented with no enjoyment. But it's what he does after eating I'm curious to know.

Nice AC!

It's been a long time since I wrote that, so I cannot say I remember it, however your comment on regimental seems just about right. I have always despised routine, and I suppose having to eat alone - just to gain fuel - is as routine as one can get.

Thank you, Tim, for your comments and amazing support of my work. It means more to me than I can say