The Valedictorian - 2. My Office

Last paragraphs of chapter 1:

“So David and Twoey became boyfriends?”

“Oh yes, right away. They became glued to each other. It was strange because Twoey’s Mom was in Albany and David’s Dad was in New York City over the Christmas vacation when all this happened. So I guess David was a little apprehensive about the returning parents. Twoey’s mother arrived two days after New Year’s. David’s father never came home.”

“Never came home? What do you mean? Did he die?”

“No. He was arrested. I guess he was involved in some kind of underworld crime activity. Anyway, he was gone, but David’s Aunt came back to run the house and be the ‘Mom.’ David wouldn’t have any part of her and moved in with Twoey and his Mom. He lived there until last spring, when he graduated. His brother, Tom, stayed with the Aunt though. He still lives there. In fact, he’s going with my boyfriend’s sister. He has been for years now, maybe from the time David left home. Sometimes he irritates me, but there’s something intrinsically good about the guy. I think Tom was able to cope by throwing all his effort into football.”

“David’s father, a gangster? I remember him. It’s hard to believe.”

“Well, he’s in prison now because he wouldn’t make a deal and rat-out any of his friends – or so says Tom.”

“What did David say?”

“He refused to talk about his father – still does.”

“That’s unbelievable. So how did David cope these last three years?”

“He changed, but all for the good as far as I’m concerned. He mellowed out a lot but also threw himself into the school community. He was always good at baseball and cross country and became the star of each team. But it’s what he did above and beyond that was so impressive. He founded the Gay-Straight alliance and was elected President of his junior and senior classes. That, in itself, gave people like me tremendous confidence. Students started to ‘come out’ and then, after about a year, it didn’t even matter anymore. The school has really been a place where one’s orientation is not important. I think a lot of that was David’s doing. There are still some religious cavemen around in the community, but I think the students are pretty open-minded.”

“I want to talk to you some more, Chuck. Are you sure you won’t have dessert? Even ice cream?”

“I want to ask you some questions too. OK, I’ll have some ice cream.”

Carl motions for the waitress, and then orders some chocolate cakey thing for himself and ice cream for me. When she leaves, I begin with some stuff I need to know.

“What was our father like?”

“When I was younger he was very nice. I always remember him as a good father to me. We lived in Daleville at the time. When Danny was less than a year old, Dad got a promotion from lieutenant and we were relocated to California. From the timeline David had sent to me, you were on the way.”

“He must have been nice. When I confronted her, after David’s revelation, Mom admitted it was Lieutenant McCane who was my father. She told me he was in the Army and pretty much what you just said, but he bought the house we live in and gave it to her and also set up some kind of account so I would be taken care of. In fact, it grew so much that she can afford to send me to Yale. That was your father’s doing – our father’s doing.”

“Well, his foresight allowed you to afford Yale, but you’re the guy who got in – never forget that.”

“So do you suppose he checked up on me when he was back living in Daleville?”

“I have no way of knowing, but it certainly would have been like him to.”

“When did he become a bad person?”

“Chuck, that’s hard to say. It happened gradually as he rose through the ranks. Everything became important for his career path. It was like a sickness. He thought a gay son would derail those plans and that’s why he was so hard on Danny. I’m sure it’s why, in a drunken state, he shot Twoey, but ended up killing Danny – and then took his own life.”

“All because of ambition.”

Our desserts arrive. Carl digs in to his chocolate gooey cake and I swallow a spoonful of pistachio ice cream. I study my brother carefully. I realize he’s treating me the same way he would if we grew up together. He’s as open with me as he would if Danny were sitting here, across from him. I feel good about it. I feel I truly have a big brother. And I smile. He looks up, catching my smile. I think he knows my thoughts, and smiles back at me.

“So, where is David now? Did he get into the school he wanted?”

“I mentioned he was smart. In addition to all the stuff I told you about, he was nearly the valedictorian of his class last year.”

“Nearly?”

“Yep. It was quite a finish to the year. He was in a friendly battle for the title. They knew they were close to each other. When the final calculations were finished, there was only two-hundredths of a point separating them. David was second, so he was the salutatorian.”

“How did he react to that?”

“Well, he was sitting on the stage after giving the salutatory address. When the time finally arrived for her to give the valedictory – or farewell – speech to the class, he met her at the podium and gave her a huge kiss.”

“A kiss?”

“Yeah. Alex used to be his girlfriend when he thought he was straight. She and her brother almost broke his door down when he was suicidal. I think he’ll always love her.”

“Oh my, so much of drama!”

“For sure! Things have been quiet without him around.”

“I’m sure he could have gotten into any college. Which one did he choose?”

“Funny you should ask. I had lots of conversations with him about that last year. I tried to talk him into going to Yale, cuz I knew I’d be going there. I just wanted to stay near the guy. But that all fell on deaf ears and I sorta knew why it did.”

“Maybe he couldn’t afford it.”

“Nah, he was rolling in money. He had some hotshot New York lawyer representing him and won a couple mil suing the church conglomerate behind his crackpot religion for almost killing him. No, his plans were to go wherever Twoey went. He didn’t care where it was.”

“Where did Twoey go?”

“University of Miami for marine biology.”

“Well, that makes sense. What’s David going to study?”

“Marine biology.”

“What?!”

“Carl, you don’t understand. They will never, ever be apart! Whoever hires one will have to hire the other.”

“Someday we’ll have to have a little talk where you explain to me everything that went on that year. It must have been something pretty powerful.”

I laugh and agree. My poor brother doesn’t know what he’s in for! We’ve long finished our desserts and the waitress has just returned his card. Shortly, we amble out of the restaurant to begin the walk back. It’s dark and just a little chill is in the air.

“I feel like a pig. Thanks for the great meal. It was fun talking to my older brother for the first time in my life.”

“Chuck, this isn’t a one-off. I’m out of the Navy very soon and have a position working for Aetna in Hartford. We’ll be less than fifty miles apart for the next four years. Your older brother wants you in his life from now on.”

That put a little mist in my eyes. Finally we reach my car. I turn and hug him for a few minutes. I’m comfortable with my brother. I’m so happy that I’m comfortable with my brother.

“Drive carefully.”

“Now you sound like my boyfriend.”

“Hey, next time we meet be sure to bring him along.”

“OK, that’s a promise.”

I fire up my Mustang and wave while pulling away. Before leaving the outskirts, I stop for gas. After pumping, I visit the attached store to buy a Red Bull. That’ll keep me sharp on the ride home and Don will never know. Yep, it’s on his ‘banned’ list too! That makes me remember his request, so I shoot him a text saying I’m on my way home.

~~~

~~~

The next morning, he’s waiting for me as I park in the school lot. I get little smooch as I lock the car.

“You sleep here last night?”

“How was the meeting?”

“Perfect. Actually, beyond perfect. It’s great having an older brother. He wants to meet you next time we get together.”

“Sure. Oh, before I forget, I have a favor to ask.”

I look at him trying to figure if it’s a real favor or if someone asked him for access to me. Don blushes, so I know it’s the latter.

“Mm-hmm. Spill.”

I begin walking toward the school – maybe a little quickly – but Don keeps up.

“Now don’t get aggravated with me. This is an official duty. As Vice-President, I’m asking you to meet….”

“Stop! Tell him seventh period in my office. I’ll meet Mark there.”

“How did you….”

“You’re not the first one he’s used to get at me. He must be pretty desperate to use my boyfriend.”

We arrive and split to go to our lockers. I receive a little kiss and a sly smile. “I’ll tell him.”

This is the worst time of year for school – at least for me. We’re not learning anything new in any classes, just reviewing for the final exams. I’m bored out of my mind, spending most of my time in a different kind of review – the review of my four years at this school. There’ve been ups and downs, but I think everything has generally gotten better. It sure feels different from the original scared-rabbit sensation when I first arrived.

Don has helped me a lot. We’ve been together since midway through our freshman year. That’s a hell of a long time! There was a little span where we became adversarial. It was Don who figured out a way to take it all lightly – like this morning. That little exchange would have been so different two years ago. But now it’s like a little joke between us. I usually cave to his requests, but make sure he knows where I stand. The only remaining issue is that damned interview for the school paper. I can’t cave on that because it’s a point of honor. You just don’t say you’re the valedictorian before you’re named. I can’t understand why Sarah doesn’t get it. But she keeps pushing Don and he keeps coming to me, knowing what my answer will be.

He became Vice-President of the class when we were juniors. That’s when Jack became President. They got so much done together that they were shoo-ins for the senior year. Jack Jacobs! – another legacy of David’s. He was a fat bully in middle school and continued when we got here as freshmen. Then he changed. I could never figure out how someone could turn over a new leaf so fast until one time last year he told me what had happened. I guess David had a long talk with him and somehow made him see the light. Not only that, he brought him to the weight room and between Biggy and David, they molded the new Jack. Sort of what David did when he brought me to his lunch table. These are all little things that people don’t know or remember, but I do. I love that guy.

Seventh period arrives and so do I, at the library – my ‘office.’ I walk over to the farthest table from the librarian, buffered by a couple ‘new releases’ display cabinets. Any time I need to meet with someone where feelings might get a little intense, this is the place. I discovered the concept around the middle of last year quite by accident. Matty was the head of GSA last year and tracked me down to the library where I was doing some research. Since I was ‘out’ and also on the debate team, he wanted me to set up a debate for a GSA meeting. He had brought it up at a meeting without even asking me first. That pissed me off right away. It was hard for me to get upset with him because – well, Matty and I had a history. But I felt he was using me and so I refused, saying the topic sucked, or something like that. The next day is when he found me in the library and sat down across the table. We went back and forth but, being in the library, the little argument was conducted in whispers. That’s when I noticed the calming affect created by not raising our voices. I was sold. The library became my office; it’s worked beautifully ever since.

This year, Matty’s younger brother Mark, a junior, is the head of GSA. Now Mark is straight, so it’s added a different flavor to the club and made it even more popular. I’ve always liked Mark, but I know what he wants from me and I don’t want to do it. Mark enters and sits down.

“How did the meeting go with your brother?”

“Great. He’s a really good guy and it was fun and interesting finding out more about ourselves. How was Barbie’s party? I just dropped off a present and had to leave for Syracuse.”

“Yeah, she made sure everyone saw it too. Tom might have been getting a little upset with that, but you know how she is.”

“What does she see in him?”

“Tom’s been my best friend since second grade. He’s really a great guy. He’d do anything for you.”

“Why does he always pick in me then?”

“He doesn’t pick on you, he shows you special affection.”

I laughed, but got quiet again as Mark chuckled.

“I sort of know why you’re here. Do you want to put it in your own words, in case other people didn’t explain it properly to me?”

“It’s simple, really. You’re gay and out. You and your boyfriend have been together for almost four years, since you were a freshman. You’re the valedictorian. You’re going to Yale, for gosh sakes. Everything about you is a positive image. Think how important it would have been for you, as an entering freshman, either gay or lesbian, to realize what could be accomplished. I want you to make a short video that I can show at our first meeting next year. It’ll give the entering freshmen a real hero to try and emulate.”

“So you want me to brag about myself? Say, ‘hey, I’m gay and look what I did’ as though it had anything to do with being gay? What would be the difference if I said, ‘hey, I’m a redhead and look what I did’?”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Being gay had nothing to do with what I did. I’d have done it if I were straight. Why not get Jack Jacobs to say, ‘hey, I was President of my class for two years, and I was straight.’?”

“So you won’t make the video?”

“I’ll make a video for you Mark. I think you have a great idea. It’s just I’ll explain why joining GSA is important. I’ll explain how it helped me, as a gay boy, fit into the high school community more easily. If you want to say all that other stuff about me before showing it, that’s up to you – I won’t be here anymore.” I stare my friend straight in the eye and give him a smile.

“Thanks Chuck. You’re right, as usual.”

“Mark, I’ve known you for four years. Why didn’t you just come to me in the first place instead of trying to get at me through my boyfriend?”

He turns red. “I was trying to be a politician.”

We both chuckle at that. Mark begins to leave as I take out some work. He mimes a kiss in my direction. I feel myself blushing. Yes, Mark and I have a history – but that was before he became straight.

After school, Don is waiting for me by the Mustang.

“Sarah give up?”

“Maybe she’s regrouping and changing her strategy.” That gets a laugh out of me.

We’re buckled in and leaving the parking lot. I ask, “Where to?”

“Let’s go to my office.”

I turn right, heading for Kory’s. That’s the official high school hangout-diner. Don sets the radio at maximal volume. After about one minute, I turn it down to ask him a question and save my hearing.

“I don’t hold any office, don’t participate in any sport, am in no responsible position, don’t run any club or have any clout in the school. Can you tell me why I have people constantly coming to me asking for favors?”

“You’re cute?”

I let out a frustrated sigh. Don turns toward me.

“So, what did you decide with Mark? Did you turn him down?”

“No, I’ll make him a video.”

“You’ll make a video for Mark but not be interviewed by Sarah?”

“It’s not the same thing. Anyway, he wants it for next year and I’m going to do it my way. Why does everyone want to exploit the fact I’m gay?”

“Maybe they see how much I enjoy exploiting the fact you’re gay.”

I chuckle as we arrive at Kory’s. At least here it’ll be my boyfriend who conducts the business of senior class government in his ‘office.’ I’ll get to eat a burger and chew on fries. We walk in and turn toward our usual table in the back.

From the front door, I can see it’s occupied. I thought all the students knew this was Don’s after-school ‘office.’ We head that way and I start to get steamed. It’s that beef-brain brother of David’s. Shit, there goes my relaxed afternoon. Why don’t they have football in the spring? Then he’d be out of here and ball-busting on the field.

I usually try to keep an even temper, but it’s not working today. I can actually feel myself tense up as we get to the table. But all that changes in one instant. Tom’s there with Barbie and tears are running down his face. I’ve never seen him like this and immediately my heart goes out to him.

He’s sobbing.