Tales of the Underground: Crestfallen - 8. Chasing Jayden

As lunch wound down I caught myself constantly staring at Jayden’s empty seat. I really really want to get to know him, but how can I when he just keeps running from me? Every now and then Henry or Ivy would catch me and try to distract me, but for the most part I was stuck in a weird funk.

Henry let out a deep sigh as he got sick of my distant stare “Aidan cut the shit”

I quickly darted my eyes from the seat to my food “What?”

“You know what” he lectured “This always happens with you. You get so carried away in the idea of someone that you don’t even stop to figure out what they’re like. You’ve even said a few times that you don’t even know if Jayden is gay or not, so stop torturing yourself with thoughts of him.” I bit my lip and pouted “Get over yourself already! For christ’s sake you’ve got a meeting with your dream boy tonight, I don’t even want this woe is me shit.”

I looked over to Ivy for support but she rolled her eyes “God Aidan, you really do need to get over this. You don’t even know Jayden outside of what 2 conversations? And here you are upset because he’s not sitting with us.”

“He can’t help, he’s used to getting what he wants when he wants” Henry sighed I looked over at him and made a face “you gonna deny that?”

“No” I mumbled “It’s true, but that doesn’t make this any easier.”

“Well welcome to the real world kiddo, nothings ever easy” Henry replied in great wisdom

I felt determination cross my face “No screw that! I’ll get what I want even if I have to break expectations”

“Well what do you want then?” Henry prodded

“I don’t know” I sighed as the lunch bell rang to end our meeting. I picked up my bag and hurried out of the lunch room. I really just needed to be alone. Ivy and Henry both made good points. I am a spoiled brat who gets what he wants. Yet the feeling that I can’t just snap my fingers and get what I want, doesn’t make me want to throw a tantrum, it’s inspired me. It’s ignited a fire of change in me, one I carried with me to my last class of the day.

I stared Jayden down as I took the seat next to him. “That’s not your seat” he pushed out returning the stare

“So, who says we have to sit in the same seats every day?” I asked, provoking him

“I don’t know” he nervously blushed “That’s just how things are done”

“Well I’m not exactly one for following the normal way of doing things” I responded with a grin

He shrugged then darted his eyes from me to his notebook, and refused to pick up his head

“Jayden” I called out hoping he would look at me, but he focused his light brown eyes to his desk “I said I’m sorry, and I mean it okay? I really do.”

“I know” he muttered

“I’m just trying to be your friend, me, Ivy and Henry… we all are” I blurted out

“Why?” he lashed “Why would anyone? I get it you stood up for me, but I don’t need you hanging around me, okay? I can handle myself.”

“No, you can’t” I spit matching his intensity

His eyes met mine, and I could see a fire burning within “Who are you to say that?”

“Someone who’s been where you are.” I sighed

“But you haven’t” he forced back “Do you have any idea what it’s like to lose the only hero you have in your life? Do you know what it’s like to hear people only talk badly about him after he dies?” I met his stare with blank eyes “Exactly! So how can you stay you understand?”

“Jayden…” was all I could manage while looking into his soft yet angry face “I can’t…but that’s not what I meant…I meant I know what it’s like to be pushed around and shit on. I know what it’s like to feel worthless okay?”

Just then our teacher walked in and started to take control over the class. As he began to lecture Jayden turned his attention towards taking notes.

“Look” I whispered, he glanced over but put his eyes right back to his notebook “Can’t we just talk about all of this one day after school. You can come over and vent.” He let it all go in one ear and out the other “Think it over at least”

“Mr. Taylor and Mr. Sanders” A booming voice called out “Why don’t you share with the class what’s so important you have to interrupt?”

Jayden slouched back further into his chair, in an attempt to stay anonymous. I let out a smile across my face “Sorry Mr. Jones, we were talking about history”

“What about history?” he poked seeing if I was telling the truth. I went to open my mouth to answer but Mr. Jones raised his hand to get me to stop “No, I would like to hear it from Mr. Sanders”

Jayden pick himself up a little and gave me an angry glance “You know…we were talking about…well” he stuttered “just…history”

The class erupted into laughter, and Jayden returned to his slouched position. “Alright! Alright!” Mr. Jones called out “Everybody relax! Mr. Taylor, let this be a lesson to you, you can’t just drag people into an excuse and expect them to flow with it. Good leadership requires knowing how to put someone in a situation they can react well in. I hear you’re a varsity athlete now, and quite the gifted fighter. We’re all expecting you to be a leader to your classmates, and an example to what people can accomplish with hard work.”

I nodded understanding his point “Sorry Jayden”

He looked over at me with a bright red face “It’s okay” he mumbled, his words not matching his thoughts

Mr. Jones made an involuntary face as if to say uh oh, then continued with his lesson. As the last bell rang Jayden stood up to rush out but I matched him blocking his way.

“No come on!” he whined “Haven’t you done enough for one day?”

“Nope” I smiled “Like people always say, I don’t know when to quit!” He let out a long groan and stared me down “Why don’t you think people want to be your friend?” I pushed changing the subject

“They just don’t okay? Now can you let me go” he moaned. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and moved out of his way. He forced a fake smile then began to walk past, I let him go for a second before joining him “I’m not getting rid of you am I?”

“Nope” I said keeping my smile “sometimes friends are worse than lice”

“We’re not even friends” he grumbled “We just met eachother”

“Well it feels like we’ve known each other for much longer” I confessed with a thick blush filling my face

He reached his locker and leaned up against it “Are you seriously always like this?”

“Yup” I said smile growing even further

For a quick second, he caught the smile and even giggled before catching himself and returning to his mopey state “Alright, what will it take for you to leave me alone?”

“I told you, come over! Like tomorrow after I get home from the gym at like 7:30. Henry will be there too” I said with a smile

“Will Ivy be there?” he poked barely looking up

“No my parents don’t exactly like her, and her parents aren’t too big of fans of me” I confessed “Why would you be more comfortable with her there?”

“Yeah” he confessed

“Ohhhh you have a crush on her!” I blurted out, I felt a slight pain set in “You have a crush on her!” I let out a little less excited

“No…no, I don’t” he said turning red

“No, it’s cool if you do” I uttered trying to hide my disappointment “I’ll see if we can sneak her in or something, it’s cool I swear”

“No…Aidan” he began to stutter uncomfortable

“It’s cool” I repeated beginning to walk away “I gotta go, I’ll give you my address tomorrow”

“Aidan” I heard him call out one last time, but I just kept moving. I let out a deep disappointed breathe as I finally reached my locker, and started packing my bag.

“Oh no” I heard Ivy begin from her locker behind me “What was that about?”

“Nothing” I mumbled focused on my task

“Bullshit!” she spit wandering towards me “What happened?”

“Jayden likes you” I grumbled

She thought it over for a moment trying to understand what I said “What?”

“Jayden has a crush on you” I could feel disappointment grow with every word

“How do you know that?” she said in shock

“Because I invited him over for tomorrow night, and he got all sheepish and weird, and asked if you were gonna be there, then I asked if you make him more comfortable and he said yes…it’s just all a mess”

“Ohhh” she said in a breath of relief “You’re just being overdramatic again! Do you realize how often you do this, one little thing in your love life goes wrong and you get so shaken up! Maybe he just doesn’t know how to fit in when you and Henry start to fuck around. Maybe he just needs someone else to talk to, and if you haven’t noticed that kid’s so fragile. He’s literally one edge at all moments of the day.”

“No, it wasn’t like that. He definitely likes you” I insisted

Ivy rolled her eyes “You’re so obnoxious sometimes. We don’t know who he likes! Or if he likes anyone for that matter! Maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s straight, maybe he’s bi or hell maybes he’s asexual, but guess what? Getting all sad about it isn’t helping you!”

“Alright” I mumbled “but you don’t have to sound so relieved that he might not be into you. He’s cute”

“Sure thing” she sarcastically smiled. Ivy and I have never agreed on guys, she’s into big muscular guys, while I tend to like quieter nice guys.

“You have horrible ta…”

“Aidan!” My sister interrupted walking towards us “Come on! We’ve been waiting for you for an eternity!”

“Relax” I sighed “I was just about to come over”

“Ivy why are you still friends with this moron” Brooke provoked

“I was just asking myself that” she teased “Your brother was just spazzing out because he wasn’t sure if a guy liked him or not”

I felt a blush form across my face “Ivy!”

“Ugh” Brooke groaned “He’s gets so spastic it’s not even funny. Let me guess Eli again?”

A wicked smile crossed Ivy’s face “Nope”

Brooke bit her lip, and tilted her head thinking over the possible options “It has to be Elijah, Aidans been crushing on him for the past year, who else could it be?”

Ivy went to open her mouth but I slammed a text book to the ground to stop her “No Ivy! You don’t get to do this!”

“Wait what’s that doodle from?” Brook asked looking into my locker. I slammed the small metal door and started pulling her away. She turned and made a face towards Ivy. As we finally made it out the door she pushed off of me “You’re such a spaz”

I climbed into the back seat and slammed the door behind me “Stop!” “I pouted

“Master Aidan, why are you bent on destroying all the nice things in your house” Perry lectured

“Sorry” I sighed

“He always gets carried away” Brooke continued to push “He’s a little ball of emotions, he can’t help it”

My pout turned to anger as I started to get fed up “Would you stop already?” “

“Why? I just want to know about my baby brother’s life”

I looked at her smile and fake gagged “you know I don’t like that!”

“You have to get over that. The only person you ever let get close to you is Perry. You even hold Ivy and Henry at a distance most of the time!” Fire ignited in our eyes as we stared at each other “It’s okay to let people you’re close with in Aidan. It’s okay to let them love you and hug them.”

“I do let my friends know I care about them” I refuted

“Okay you do, but not in a normal way. You either try and buy them, or give them way too much attention only to suddenly pull away without warning. I swear you smother people in it, and then disappear.” I could see her articulating a thought you in her mind “You’re too much like dad sometimes.” I broke our eye contact and started to untangle my headphones “No Aidan, come on you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No I’m like him I get it” I exhaled

She went to reach back to pat my knee, but I swept it away “Don’t take it like that. I didn’t say you’re fully like dad, just that you can be sometimes.” I finally broke away the headphones enough to connect them from my head to my phone “Aidan don’t tune me out!” I hit the play button and slowly started to dial up the music “See! Ignoring me just like him!”

I pulled out a stray ear and stared her down “What’s your freakin problem Brooke?”

“I’m just trying to talk with you. I’m sorry if I was pushing your buttons, you just make it too fun sometimes.” I rolled my eyes and went to put my headphone back in my ear “No please! I love you!” she let you half serious, half trying to have fun with me, I just flashed back an empty stare “You really don’t know how to willingly show emotion do you?”

“No” I confessed “I just am how I feel I guess”

“Man Mom and Dad really fucked you up” she sighed

“I guess so” I drifted off staring out the window. Brooke continued to try and jumpstart the conversation but I just wasn’t having it. I hate to be another person that says some cliché like they’re fucked up because their mommy and daddy didn’t hug them enough growing up, but unfortunately that’s my life. The only contact I would get from my parents as a kid was all the wrong kind, hard shoves, punches, smacks and everything in-between. Yet at the same time I’ve ever only wanted their attention, how fucked is that? As we pulled up to the gym I looked over at Brooke, who had went into her own world after my rejections. Besides Perry, she’s been the only constant in my life. The only one who’s given me the attention I craved. I gave her a lite tap to the back of the head “I love you” I pushed out with a forced smile

“You looked like you were in pain while you said it but we’ll work on it!” she yelled as I entered the warehouse

As usual I wasted no time getting back to work. This place was my batcave and I felt like Batman. The hard work, the endless training, I know it will all payoff. Like my teacher said, I’m expected to be a leader, to set an example…I won’t take that lightly. If my emotions control how I carry myself, then I knew right now I was nothing short of deadly. I pinned in with precision and didn’t zone out until my last punch. I rushed to the locker room, and got showered and changed for my next event of the night.

“Geez Static, you’re in an awfully big rush” My trainer remarked watching me dart around getting my stuff together

“I’ve got a varsity meeting” I spit shoving clothes into my gym bag

“Oh yeah? Meeting with the team tonight?” he asked starting to clean up his stuff

I picked up my heavy back and whipped it on my shoulder “Nah just with my mentor”

My trainer gave me a confused look “Oh yeah? Is that like the captain or your coach?”

“No, he’s a hockey player. Probably gonna be their new captain actually” I answered finally ready to love

“It’s not that Warren kid is it?” he prodded with wide open eyes

I uncomfortable began to shift from one to the other “It is”

“Of course, if shit’s not trying to get in your way one way it’s the other” he sighed

“What are you talking about?” I said laughing at his sudden outburst

“You work so freakin hard, and have so much talent but people keep stepping in your way. I mean look at your dad I mean no disrespect, but the man can’t leave you alone. He has to have a hand in everything you learn, and how you fight. You have the raw potential to come some type of monster if he doesn’t intervene, and we finally deal with that and you get this bum as your mentor?” I could tell he wasn’t joking around “I mean I don’t know him or anything, but that shit storm that followed him in the news, was just something else man. I’ve never heard anything like it. For fucks sake he gunned down his dad.”

I shifted my mouth not sure how to respond “He’s not as bad as they make him seem”

“Either way you look out for yourself. Don’t get tangled up with that kid anymore then you need to. He’ll drag you right down with him” he lectured. He saw the careless expression on my face and started to get agitated “Aidan, I’m not playing right now. We’ve all worked too damn hard for that punk to bring you down. You got that?”

“Yeah” I sighed

“You got that?” he boomed

“Yes” I said louder “I got you, I’m not gonna let this gym down I promise Ty”

“Good” he nodded reaching out his fists. I met them with mine and made my way out to the car. With every mile that we passed my heart began to beat faster and faster. I guess this is the moment I was waiting for all of last year. Eli and I…together.