A Man in a Room, and other poems - 10. more ripples

Poem 22 is as elegant a plea as I can imagine. It is like a centering, cleansing breath. Poem 23 is a joy to contemplate; it is the introduction to a biography, a creation story in five lines. Poem 24, in three movements, speaks to my heart and my creative brain. How often I have yearned to be someone I am not, to have talent I shall never possess. Thank you for all three of these eloquent poems.

Good morning !
So many poems, that I have to open two tabs, to switch from review to poem and back, not get confused writing a review.
Poem 22: Wonderful! It wakes in me very strong emotions and a memory. A spring morning with sunshine out in the nature. There is this scent of earth and leaves and sun in the air, the break up of life. You can feel the greater things far major than us humans. Peace of mind and hatred seems an absurd feeling.
Poem 23: A very good picture! It is a enchanting thought, that our life is a melody.
Poem 24: As I don´t know you personally, I did get the impression, that you are not only dreaming, but rather living up to your dreams writing such wonderful poems. There is nothing mediocrity in them and not in your beautiful mind.
Thanks for sharing these poems.
Hugs Lyssa

22. Don’t know … the first two lines reminded me of my mother’s Peace roses. Their sweet scent on the summer’s breeze. That we should stop and smell the roses so to speak, think about what is meaningful and important in this world. Hatred is such a waste of time.

23. This made me feel that each of us is a song.. each of us has our own.. and the _____ made me wonder what should be in that gap.. what does that mean.. space, time, span, lifetime.. or maybe a very short time?

24. So true. We are strangers to ourselves. Except I think sometimes, usually at the worst of times, then we look and hate those monstrous parts of ourselves. Funny we can’t see the good that we do and are, quite to easily or willingly.

AC you have never been, nor ever will be mediocre.

More great poetry … you are a talented man with great vision.

No. 24 is the one of this trio that I felt most attracted to. I am familiar with the feeling of inadequacy and mediocrity: when you are young and they put that stamp upon you regularly, at some point you start to believe it yourself. It can take a lifetime to prove the contrary.

I guess you were (much) younger when you wrote this poem. The dreams for seemingly unattainable goals belong to an earlier stage of life. Some of those dreams become reality after all, while others remain dreams. Not due to mediocrity, but because life is too short to make all your dreams come true.
Wouldn't life become boring when there were no dreams left?

I think you have proven the universe of word turned out to be the place where you do have something to say and have risen above mediocrity. What seemed impossible at one time in life, was attained later on, or just not visible to yourself at the time.

I have accepted that I am mediocre in some areas of life, still working on the less than mediocre areas and proud of the areas I outshine others. Finding that balance is hard, but produces inner happiness.

Even in your youth you wrote amazing stuff.

22. Spoke to me. When I bow my head in prayer I always begin with a deep breath to breathe in the divine that surrounds us. A breath of all encompassing love.
23. Life as a very very short story ...
24. We seem to maintain that childish ability to dream of being something other than we are. To one day reach beyond the ordinary ... I think you have.
Namaste.

On 02/10/2017 01:30 PM, Parker Owens said:

Poem 22 is as elegant a plea as I can imagine. It is like a centering, cleansing breath. Poem 23 is a joy to contemplate; it is the introduction to a biography, a creation story in five lines. Poem 24, in three movements, speaks to my heart and my creative brain. How often I have yearned to be someone I am not, to have talent I shall never possess. Thank you for all three of these eloquent poems.

Thank you, Parker, for another wonderful review. I find it interesting you mention 'three movements' in connection with No. 24. At the time I started creating multipart poems, I was definitely thinking about the sensations I got of completeness from compositions in the sonata form. I don't think I ever matched that full feeling, but I was trying, even settling on the musical terms of prelude and postlude to designates two of the parts.

Thanks again; I always appreciate your comments

On 02/10/2017 05:53 PM, Lyssa said:

Good morning !

So many poems, that I have to open two tabs, to switch from review to poem and back, not get confused writing a review.

Poem 22: Wonderful! It wakes in me very strong emotions and a memory. A spring morning with sunshine out in the nature. There is this scent of earth and leaves and sun in the air, the break up of life. You can feel the greater things far major than us humans. Peace of mind and hatred seems an absurd feeling.

Poem 23: A very good picture! It is a enchanting thought, that our life is a melody.

Poem 24: As I don´t know you personally, I did get the impression, that you are not only dreaming, but rather living up to your dreams writing such wonderful poems. There is nothing mediocrity in them and not in your beautiful mind.

Thanks for sharing these poems.

Hugs Lyssa

Thanks, Lyssa. Hugs back

The twenty-year-old me who wrote these poems would be astounded by a set of comments like these; he never knew his work had the power to touch anyone at all…

I thank you on his behalf. And please know I appreciate all of your wonderful insight. Your reviews are awesome

On 02/11/2017 03:34 AM, Mikiesboy said:

22. Don’t know … the first two lines reminded me of my mother’s Peace roses. Their sweet scent on the summer’s breeze. That we should stop and smell the roses so to speak, think about what is meaningful and important in this world. Hatred is such a waste of time.

 

23. This made me feel that each of us is a song.. each of us has our own.. and the _____ made me wonder what should be in that gap.. what does that mean.. space, time, span, lifetime.. or maybe a very short time?

 

24. So true. We are strangers to ourselves. Except I think sometimes, usually at the worst of times, then we look and hate those monstrous parts of ourselves. Funny we can’t see the good that we do and are, quite to easily or willingly.

 

AC you have never been, nor ever will be mediocre.

 

More great poetry … you are a talented man with great vision.

Thank you, Tim. I love hearing about your mom's roses and how my poem makes you remember-slash-feel them again. That's a wonderful tribute.

I have to admit the general reaction to the baby crying poem is surprising. Obviously there is no right or wrong reading, but still….

As for the last poem, I was going through 'stuff', wrestling with coming out, so I did not like myself very much at all during this period of my life. C'est la vie.

Thanks again for your incredible support. It means the world to me.

On 02/11/2017 06:32 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

No. 24 is the one of this trio that I felt most attracted to. I am familiar with the feeling of inadequacy and mediocrity: when you are young and they put that stamp upon you regularly, at some point you start to believe it yourself. It can take a lifetime to prove the contrary.

 

I guess you were (much) younger when you wrote this poem. The dreams for seemingly unattainable goals belong to an earlier stage of life. Some of those dreams become reality after all, while others remain dreams. Not due to mediocrity, but because life is too short to make all your dreams come true.

Wouldn't life become boring when there were no dreams left?

 

I think you have proven the universe of word turned out to be the place where you do have something to say and have risen above mediocrity. What seemed impossible at one time in life, was attained later on, or just not visible to yourself at the time.

 

I have accepted that I am mediocre in some areas of life, still working on the less than mediocre areas and proud of the areas I outshine others. Finding that balance is hard, but produces inner happiness.

Thank you, Peter! I like and appreciate all of you comments, but the ones concerning No. 24 hit home. Too much to think about…and it's why I find the task of typing up these old works a difficult one.

I value your support, my dear friend, more than I can adequately put into words. Thanks again.

On 02/11/2017 09:01 AM, dughlas said:

Even in your youth you wrote amazing stuff.

 

22. Spoke to me. When I bow my head in prayer I always begin with a deep breath to breathe in the divine that surrounds us. A breath of all encompassing love.

23. Life as a very very short story ...

24. We seem to maintain that childish ability to dream of being something other than we are. To one day reach beyond the ordinary ... I think you have.

Namaste.

Hugs, Dugh

I love hearing about your cleansing breath; it's significant to do so before we try to connect with ourselves or others in a meaningful way.

I appreciate your support and comments a great deal. Peace, brother.