Being Cam - 14. October 30th

“Can we talk?”

Nate appeared at my front door as soon as we all sat down for dinner. Mom didn’t like being interrupted during our family time.

“Honey, who’s there?” You could feel the twinge of anger in her voice.

“It’s Nate, Mrs. Martin.”

Immediately her voice lit up. She always liked Nate for some reason.

“Care to join us, dear? I won’t accept no for an answer. You can talk to Cam after dinner.”

You had to know when to admit defeat with my Mom. She was a strong woman and arguing never got you anywhere. It felt kind of weird having us all sitting around the table together. We had done it many times before but there was a new tension in the air. As if everyone there knew what was happening between Nate and I. You could cut through it with the knives beside our plates.

“So how’s everything been going, dear? You and Cam seem to be spending a lot of time together.”

Nate blushed. I could feel the heat radiating off his face.

“Things have been good. Busy with school and stuff. I really like Cam, he’s a great guy.”

Nate smiled at me. JeMar giggled to themselves. Somehow I suspected they already knew the truth. Nate and I didn’t exactly hide things when we were at my house. Not that we did anything but you could feel it. Sense that something was different between us. Mom looked between the two of us, a smile widening across her face.

“Oh!”

My panic level rose to an exponential level. Something felt iffy.

“What do you mean, oh?”

“It’s okay, Cam.” Mom just kept smiling. I felt like I was going to throw up. “You two are adorable.”

Nate was bursting into flames beside me. JeMar just kept giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world. I could barely breathe. Or move. Even think.

We all sat in silence, except for the snicker twins. Nate fidgeted. My fork scraped across the plate, pushing my food side to side. Was anyone going to say something? Did we really just have that painful coming out process without any words? What the hell?

“Yeah, I think we are too.”

Was it getting hotter in here? Nate’s quiet voice filled the entire room. My head flooded with dread. Excitement, maybe? Panic definitely.

“Mom?”

Mom looked at me, a face bursting with exuberance and joy. Seriously, what the f@#*? I can say that. It’s still my journal.

“Yes, baby?”

“How did you know?”

She laughed. She just laughed like I told the funniest joke the world had ever heard. Knee slapping funny, apparently.

“Oh, baby. I’ve known forever. Mothers know all. I was just waiting for you to give me a sign to say something.”

Was this real life? Do things like this actually happen? Parents being cool with their kids being odd? I should have expected nothing less from Ava Martin.

“I don’t even have words.” Literally my words were stuck somewhere in limbo.

“It’s okay, baby. We can never talk about this if you want.”

Of course I wanted that. And of course I didn’t want that too. That weird, dark secret of mine was out in the open. Both of our secrets were out. What was Nate thinking? We he dying inside?

“Nate, dear? You okay?” My mom was good at this kind of thing. Ever since No Name left, dealing with family and relationships was her specialty. “You’ve been very quiet.”

He looked like a deer in the headlights.

“I-uh-I don’t k-know?”

“You don’t have to worry about any of us saying anything to anyone. Especially your family. This is between us.”

Even JeMar nodded their heads solemnly.

“Okay. Thank y-you.”

Mom followed up with a round of bear hugs to everyone. The motherly thing to do. She clung tighter to Nate, whispering into his ears.

“Alright, boys. You’re free. Go talk or whatever.”

She winked. I wanted to scream. Stop it, Mom. Nate was oblivious to it, probably still in shock about the whole experience. After we entered the sanctuary of my room, Nate plopped down on the bed face first.

“What the heck was that?”

I didn’t even know what to say to him. I wasn’t really sure myself.

“I think, my Mom says she’s okay with us?”

All he did was sink further into the mattress. Was he trying to phase into it or something?

“Nate? What did you want to talk about?”

Just a grunt.

“Come on. Get up!”

He reluctantly push himself up, his face red and covered in the stitching lines from my comforter. Sitting down beside him, he seemed to relax a little. Our own little bubble. Sanctuary. Home. Nate looked into my eyes and smiled, brushing his lips against mine in a quick kiss.

“I came here because I’m ready.”

“Ready?” I asked inquisitively. “For what?”

Nate got on his knees in front of me, smiling as he held my hand in his own.

“What are you doing?”

My palms were sweating. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice.

“Just shh. Cam, your Mom just scared the crap out of me but it only makes me feel better about what I was going to do.”

His whole demeanor had changed. The guy that was just burying his face in my mattress was suddenly filled with confidence.

“I-I wanted to ask you something.” His nervous stutter was endearing. “Um-the dance is tomorrow and I w-wanted to know if you would go with me?”

Was he asking me out? Like in a public place?

“Like as your friend?”

He playfully pushed me. “No you dummy. As my date.”

Was it possible to be completely floored within thirty minutes?

“I don’t know what to say.”

Nate smiled, pulling me close for another kiss. His lips were soft and inviting, filling my mind with bliss and sending my heart fluttering.

“You should say yes.”

His breath against my cheek as he spoke sent me skyward. Floating on a cloud. Drifting off to a different land. Nothing like Buckettsburg. More like Paradise.

“Yes. Of course.”

Nate jumped up, colliding with me and pushing me down the bed. Hugging me and holding tight.

What an amazing day.