Are You Christian - 15. Chapter 15

 

“What’s the rush?” Stacey asked as I stepped out into the hall. She was coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

 

“I don’t know,” I answered side stepping her dripping hair.

 

“He would’ve called if he was in trouble Christian, calm down,” Stacey offered before disappearing into her room, closing the door behind her. I walked down to the living room to see Mom sitting on the couch feeding Grace some applesauce in her nightgown.

 

“You’re at it pretty early,” Mom whispered in a sleepy voice trying to dodge Grace’s hands to put the spoon full of sauce into her open mouth.

 

“I’m nervous to see him this morning,” I sighed turning to the mirror in the living room. I had neglected to look at myself in the mirror in the bathroom, but my hair was still too short to worry about. I was starting to miss the shaggy look, but my hair was growing slowly back. I know it didn’t take a lot of hassle in the mornings at the moment, which was good since we only had one bathroom between Stacey and I. My hair before definitely didn’t fit in here, but the more I learned about the place the more I realized that I didn’t fit so the hair didn’t really matter. I may look like I belonged, but the overwhelming fear Jonathon had that day in the creek, showed me that this wasn’t the type of place I would feel all that welcomed into if they knew the real me.

 

“Do you want me to take you to school this morning?” Mom asked and I turned back around to study her. She was cleaning Grace with a washcloth, but wasn’t making much progress. Grace was starting to get fussy as well, not liking the treatment.

            

“No I want to ride the bus,” I stated quickly fidgeting with the bottom of my shirt. It was a button down shirt and the ends wanted to curl. I wasn’t going to take it off to have Mom iron it, the thought of being late made my stomach tighten. Normally something like a wrinkled shirt wouldn’t bother me, but this morning my mind seemed to single them out adding a hint of worry. I could also see Mom waking up and begin to analyze me in the living room. She had even put Grace in the playpen to scrutinize me with narrowed eyes.

 

“I don’t think this relationship is too healthy for you,” Mom said, breaking the uneasy silence. “You didn’t get much sleep and you’re a bag of nerves, there are far too many risks involved.”

 

“Mom,” I groaned feeling more nauseated before I came down here. Jonathon probably wasn’t right for me if I sat down and thought about it. I know I hated him when I first got here. I had him chalked up to being another dimwitted football type that would rather try and trip me in the hallways instead of be my friend. It also didn’t take me long to realize there were real qualities in Jonathon that attracted me to him though. More that I was just really starting to understand completely and I didn’t want to miss doing it.

 

He is a preacher’s son and you’re both young, I can only save you,” Mom explained shaking her head then she looked forward towards the window. “If your relationship with Jonathon becomes known Pastor David will take drastic measures with him.”

 

“I know that and I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I snapped glaring down at my shoes wishing time would speed up. I couldn’t escape; there wasn’t any place I could go to get away from this.

 

“I just want you to realize that it is out of your hands,” she countered in a soft voice, more motherly than I expected. “I also don’t want to see you hurt.”

 

“It's not like you can protect me Mom, you brought us down here,” I argued crossing my arms. “Now we’re here and I don’t want to leave.”

 

“Then be careful and stay out of trouble,” Mom said standing up to go get ready for work seeming to end the brewing argument. “Bring me down your dirty clothes so I can drop them off to be dry cleaned.”

 

“Oh right,” I stammered feeling her pat me on the shoulder as she walked by. I had forgotten all about my dirty clothes. I walked back up stairs and gathered them from the pile I left them in last night. I put them on the hanger and brought them down leaving them draped over the arm of the couch. I grabbed my backpack then walked out the front door to the front porch swing. Being outside felt better, I was no longer trapped in a small room and the cool damp air on my skin seemed to calm my nerves a bit.

 

Stacey joined me shortly after so I stood and walked with her down the stairs to wait on the bus. She was wearing yet another outfit that wouldn’t fit in with the dress code at school. A strapless top and a skirt, but she thought a thin sweater would keep her out of trouble, but I knew as soon as she was free from the eyes of the principal she would be stashing the sweater into her locker. I couldn’t help notice though that she looked slightly pale and sick. She couldn’t be nervous about Jonathon, as she had seemed to fix the impasse yesterday.

 

“I feel like shit,” she groaned glancing over at me.

 

“You look like shit,” I added, which earned me a slap on the back of the head.

 

“I think I have a stomach bug this morning,” she stammered clutching her stomach with her left hand. Then she swallowed roughly and sniffed the air, turning to look at me.

 

“What?” I asked wondering if I had forgotten to put on deodorant, the way this morning rushed by it would be easy for me to forget to do something.

 

“You must’ve bathed in after shave this morning or something,” Stacey hissed putting her finger under her nose. “Let me stand on the other side of you.”

 

“I don’t even use after shave,” I said smelling of my clothes. “I just sprayed myself with cologne like I normally do.”

 

“Are you sure?” She asked frowning then she dropped her backpack and purse then jogged to the side of the house. I heard her vomiting, but then I heard the bus’ air breaks stopping just around the corner.

 

“You need to go back inside,” I said bending down and picking up her things. I quickly walked and put them on the front steps as she started walking back around to the front of the house.

 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me I felt fine until I smelled you,” she groaned still grimacing she didn’t argue about missing school as she picked up her bags and disappeared behind the front door just as the bus was coming to a stop at the front of our driveway.

 

“Your sister coming?” The bus driver asked when I stepped onto the bus. I shook my head and went back to the usual seat I shared with Jonathon. Seeing him smiling at me caused all the nervous tension through my body leave. He did look past me for Stacy though.

 

“She’s sick,” I explained, “stomach issues this morning.”

 

“Morning sickness?” Jonathon asked cocking an eyebrow then he smirked when my jaw dropped. “I’m kidding, there’s always a stomach flu of some kind going around, I think it’s the water at school really.”

 

“You think?” I asked pushing the thought of a pregnant Stacey from my mind. If she had the same sex talk I had she most definitely wouldn’t leave the house without a condom. I know I would hate to make a mistake after, it would mean a lot more sex talks from Dad and that was something I doubt I could sit through again.

 

 

“That’s definitely a plus,” I responded completely smiling for the first time this morning.

 

“It’s also good we got my homework done, Dad wanted to see proof, he thought we were out playing hockey the whole time,” Jonathon said shaking his head. “He doesn’t trust me at all.”

 

 

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” Jonathon mocked sounding a lot like his father. I laughed louder than I expected and I noticed the bus get noticeably quiet for a few seconds then return to normal.

 

“You sound just like him its freaky,” I whispered and he nodded, his blue eyes bright with amusement.

 

“I’ve had plenty of practice over the years,” he said and I wanted to feel sorry for him, but he seemed adjusted to the life of being the son of a preacher. His smile didn’t falter at all and I didn’t want him thinking I felt sorry for him and I knew I would easily give that away.

 

“What are you two whispering about?” Matt asked from behind us, Stacey wasn’t sitting with him this morning. She didn’t really talk to him while they rode to school, but now he had the seat to himself. He leaned forward resting his chin on the back of our seat so he could hear us.

 

“Nothing,” Jonathon answered shrugging, “just stupid stuff.”

 

“Right,” Matt added smirking. “With you it is always stupid, but really?”

 

“He just mocked his Dad and it sounded just like him,” I answered earning an elbow from Jonathon. I turned to see Matt still smirking.

 

“He does do it pretty good,” Matt responded and I noticed Jonathon sit lower in our seat. He was smiling, but seemed embarrassed by the turn the conversation took. Then he looked thoughtful as we pulled up to the front of the school.

 

“I’m trying to convince Christian to be the kicker this season,” Jonathon stated pushing me playfully towards the edge of the seat when I didn’t stand with everyone else. Matt didn’t leave his seat either, waiting for the line to pass us so we could all exit the bus together.

 

“That’s definitely not a good idea,” Matt countered studying the two of us. I agreed with him, but I hadn’t expected the response. Matt didn’t seem to want to explain his reasoning either as he shrugged and stepped out at the end of the line. I followed after him, but Jonathon was going to argue with him as soon as he could walk beside him.

 

“Why is it not a good idea?” Jonathon asked stumbling over my feet as he forced himself between Matt and I.

 

“Because we already have a kicker,” Matt answered as I opened the door and held it for him and Jonathon walked through it. I was glad to be off the hook, I definitely wasn’t going out for football; it didn’t interest me at all. I would much rather watch Jonathon play, although the school sucked at the sport over all.

 

“You thought it was a good idea a few days ago and we don’t have a kicker he graduated,” Jonathon argued crossing his arms.

 

“Does he even want to try out?” Matt asked not looking at me for the answer. I didn’t like being talked about when I was with them. I could see where Matt could be annoyed with the pushing Jonathon was doing though. It wasn’t a discussion he would give in on since he wanted me to go with him and be part of things he was part of. A little time apart would do us some good though, thinking how close we came to messing everything up the other day.

 

“No,” Jonathon answered after a short pause. He looked over at me before he answered, but I didn’t nod my head either way. I had already told him what my answer was going to be. “He can be a manager then.”

 

“Girls are managers usually,” Matt commented nonchalantly it caused Jonathon to let an exasperated sigh escape his lips. I bit my lip trying not to add to the discussion, even if they were still talking about me.

 

“He can come into the locker rooms instead of us hauling all the dirty towels out,” Jonathon said and I laughed.

 

“I’m not going to be your damn maid,” I countered crossing my arms. Jonathon was shaking his head at me, but I ignored them as we had made it to the Cafeteria and I wanted to see if we were going to be met with the person who knew about us. As I looked around at each table, the usual people were sitting at them and no one stood to come towards us. We were still ignored for the most part and that made me feel better, at least the person who knew wasn’t going to make a big scene in front of the school. That would’ve been worse than telling his father directly.

 

“It's settled then, let Chris find his own things to do,” Matt stated walking ahead of the two of us to go sit next to Kate. Jonathon shot me a glare and I shrugged innocently, but I chalked it up to me winning an argument, even if I wasn’t really part of it.

 

“You could’ve helped a little bit,” he hissed sitting down in his usual seat. It placed me beside Lacey and across from Gavin at the round table we sat at.

 

“But I didn’t want to do that,” I whispered rolling my eyes when he looked like he was about to stick out his bottom lip. I also didn’t know if I could say no to him if he begged me to try out for the team. Knowing me I would have walked in and purposely sucking, though I probably would suck at football regardless of my effort. At least that would have let us both get what we wanted.

 

“Not want to do what?” Lacey asked trying to loop her arm with mine. I kept it close to my side, even though her touch tickled my sides.

 

“Good morning Lacey,” I stammered trying to force a smile. “Jonathon wanted me to do football.”

 

“Well why not?” Lacey asked her eyes wide with enthusiasm about the idea. “Next year you could run for Homecoming King and I can be your Queen.”

 

“Right,” Gavin snorted laughing at her. “He’d be King and you’d be sick with jealousy.”

 

“I couldn’t be jealous of Christian, and who really is out there that could beat us?” Lacey snapped glaring at him. “Pot smoking doesn’t make a winner.”

 

“Neither does putting out on first dates,” Gavin retorted crossing his arms smug with his comment although he was the only one that laughed. No one seemed annoyed though, probably something that happened every time either of them spoke to one another. I thought they both enjoyed the arguments as well since they both seemed to be good friends when it wasn’t happening. They both were definitely not innocent and had a lot of evidence to throw at one another.

 

“Guys,” Kate sighed suppressing a smile. “Can we get through one day with out you two flirt fighting.”

 

“Gross Kate,” Lacey groaned pulling my hand towards her chest. I wanted to break contact when the back of my hand grazed her breasts, but I knew it wouldn’t look good if I did.

“If Natalie knew how much you two flirted she’d be angry,” Matt added and I watched him smile at Gavin, who seemed to be blushing for the first time since I met him.

 

“She knows she’s better than Lacey,” Gavin mumbled sitting lower in his seat. Jonathon hit knuckles with Matt and I smiled.

 

The bell rang releasing us to our first class. Kate kissed Matt goodbye on the cheek and I watched Lacey eyeing the two of them. Then her eyes darted to mine almost hopeful that I would want that sort of attention from her, but I just adverted my attention and started walking. She kept her hand linked with mine, it had annoyed Jonathon, but he was doing a good job not letting it show. It would be a short walk anyway, since English class was my first stop. Lacey let go of my hand dramatically when I stopped at the open door. Jonathon waited until she let go, I thought he was going to rip her from my grasp. She walked backwards watching me until I ducked inside the classroom with Jonathon poking me in the lower back making we walk faster to my seat.

 

“She seems attached,” Matt commented not smiling. His voice also seemed unlike him. Like he was making an obviously funny joke, but sounding like he was forced to tell it.

 

“She’ll see herself in a mirror and get over it,” Jonathon countered forcing his own voice to sound light. I turned to look towards the front not wanting to look at either of them. The teacher had also started the tape for the ending of the book we were listening to. By the end of class most of the sleep I missed had caught up to me, the narrator had one tone and took too many breaths between sentences. The teacher handed us the study guides for the test on the book as we left and I sighed having not listened to it much at all in the past few days.

 

“There is a movie out to this, right?” I asked shoving the paper into my bag.

 

“And notes you can get off the net, which is what I do,” Jonathon answered putting his arm around my shoulders. It caused me to jump not wanting him to. I looked around thinking this would be the perfect time to at least insult us. The hallway was crowded, neither of us would’ve known if it had come, but it didn’t.

 

“You know you shouldn’t,” I whispered shrugging my shoulders gently.

 

“So what?” He asked tightening his hold, pulling me closer to him. Now it didn’t look innocent either and I could feel my face flush to my ears. “It’s ok.”

 

“No it’s not,” I argued my voice weakened by the lump in my throat. “Even if someone knows, its better not to let everyone in on it while we’re at it.”

 

“Look around Christian,” Jonathon stated and I looked around and saw that other people showed affection in this way.

“Yeah, boyfriends resting their arm on their girlfriends’ shoulders,” I commented shrugging him completely off me. “Sure there are other guys who pat knuckles and such, but we can’t be like that.”

 

“You’re being paranoid,” he huffed as we stepped into our next class. We had assigned seats in here after the first week. Jonathon was still in front, still shielding most of the board from the short girl sitting directly behind him.

 

Through the class he kept shooting me glares from the side, not turning his body completely. Once I thought he was going to get caught and chastised in front of everyone, but he would’ve taken it in stride, just like he seemed to be doing with us now. It was like he had given up and refused to wait and be miserable for the inevitable to happen. I couldn’t bring myself to be that way though, not when I still had hope of the person who saw us in the creek to keep his or her mouth closed. Small towns like any other town didn’t keep secrets, but this was the town where secrets were dangerous. Dangerous because everyone would know and realize for themselves if it were true or not. I knew shrugging him off hurt him and it made me feel guilty, like I was only doing it to protect myself in the mess that we created.

 

Things were tense between us the rest of the day, for once Jonathon talked to Kate and Gavin, leaving me to Lacey. She kept commenting about becoming Homecoming Queen next year. We were sophomores and not allowed to be part of that yet, just like Prom, unless we were dating a Junior or Senior. Prom was another thing Lacey worried about already, she had plans on getting her friends on the cheerleading squad to buy her tickets and go, like she had done last year. I saw myself going with her if that happened, not being able to come up with the best excuse to safely get out of something like that.

 

“You seem distracted,” Lacey whispered taking control of my hand again. She had been inching her hand towards me all through lunch.

 

“Sorry,” I offered shrugging my shoulders, looking down at my untouched plate. Everyone else had eaten their food, but I wasn’t hungry. I had noticed all to well that Jonathon didn’t place his knee against mine like he usually did or brushed my elbow while he ate or told a story to Matt or Kate. He had kept to himself after what I had said this morning.

 

“So what are you going to do after school today?” Lacey asked and I looked at her thinking this was a safe enough subject to have with her. As long as I didn’t say I was free enough to meet her somewhere, like she was probably fishing for.

 

“Stacey is sick so I’m going home to see what’s wrong with her,” I answered honestly. I wasn’t too worried about her, thinking it was just a stomach flu that wouldn’t keep her down too long. Usually when one of us is sick though Mom wants us to look after the other. She argued that it built character so it led to me being Stacey’s slave when she had the cold or something. All the times I was sick though she didn’t return the favor until Mom or Dad were due to be home. I wouldn’t want her to be helpful though as it was strange to the both of us, just not enough to keep me off the hook.

 

“Oh poor thing,” she offered like a second thought. It amused me that she didn’t care, but tried to fake it anyway, like it would’ve earned her a date later. “I hope it’s not contagious.”

 

“Probably is,” I offered smiling when Lacey let go of my hand and wiped her hands on her jeans.

 

The rest of the day went normally, Kate and Matt ignored me in our other class to talk to one another. It wasn’t until I was at my locker after the final bell; with school finally getting underway I actually had books to gather to do a lot more homework that something changed. A small note fell from my locker and hit my shoe. I quickly picked it up assuming it was from Jonathon, telling me the reasons why I was stupid for thinking the way I did. It had small print though, explaining to meet at the park alone. The alone was underlined and slightly bolder than the rest of the note. I jammed it into my pocket and looked around for Jonathon. The park was close to the school, so I waited for the bus to leave, knowing Jonathon would be waiting for me in it. It would give me enough time to meet the person in the note, if it wasn’t him to begin with. The note caused my heart to skip regardless as I made my way through the cars leaving the school parking lot in the direction of the park.

 

When I arrived I saw the bleachers were empty, but I didn’t go any further thinking it wasn’t safe. No one was around yet, but people usually came here after school and a lot of school sports practices were held on the baseball field and tennis courts the park offered and the school didn’t have space for. It wasn’t long until I heard someone clear their voice from behind me and I was surprised to see Matt standing on the end of the bleachers a couple of feet away from me.

 

“Hi,” he greeted, not sounding happy to see me here. My heart sank when his eyes pierced through me.

 

“Hey,” I stammered standing to face him. I put my bag on the bleacher feeling strangled by the strap on my shoulder. It was heavy with books and I wasn’t really adjusted to the weight yet.

 

“I saw you two the other day,” Matt whispered his teeth clenched like he was struggling to speak.

 

“Oh shit,” I grimaced looking down at the dirt. “Please don’t tell anybody.”

 

“I won’t, it would kill Jonathon’s Dad,” Matt snapped grabbing hold of my shoulder, squeezing it until I looked up at him. His grip hurt and I would probably bruise later, I realized though, he wasn’t finished.

 

“Good, so can I go?” I stammered trying to shrug his hand off my shoulder.

 

“I don’t want you corrupting him you sick faggot,” he spat taking his hand off me and taking a step back. “So break whatever you have with him off and leave us all alone.”

 

“I’m not…” I started, but his fist hit me square on the mouth. I didn’t even see it coming, but I instantly tasted the warm metallic taste of my blood on my tongue. It rocked me backwards and I stumbled, but didn’t fall. He didn’t give me time to fight back though, as his fist hit my eye with more force. This time I backed over the bottom bleacher and fell over it. The fall knocked the breath out of me, but Matt didn’t kick or stomp me while I was down. He didn’t, because someone had saw him punch me.

 

“What the hell are you doing Matt?” Gavin asked getting into his face.

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked through heaving breaths, “go away.”

 

“I was coming here to smoke a little pot,” Gavin answered honestly, looking at me on the ground before turning back to Matt, who hadn’t answered him.

 

“Nothing,” Matt growled stepping around Gavin, who didn’t push him for answers. Instead he walked over to me and offered his hand to help me off the ground. I took it realizing I probably would just lay here unless someone picked me up, I was in too much shock to think clearly.

 

“What was it about?” Gavin asked as he cupped my head in his hands, I wanted to jerk it away from him, but it was throbbing so bad I didn’t want to move it too fast.

 

“Nothing,” I groaned grabbing his hands and pulling them off my head. Then I wiped at my lip, still bleeding it had began to drip down my chin onto my shirt.

 

“A black eye and a bloody lip sure doesn’t look like nothing,” Gavin countered picking up my bag and putting it over my shoulder.

 

“You don’t even like me so piss off,” I hissed wanting to walk home alone, Gavin definitely wasn’t the person I wanted to talk to. I was going to keep it to myself.

 

“I like you, just because I’m an ass to you doesn’t mean I don’t,” Gavin argued smirking. My bruised eye had started to swell shut and the other was blurry. “Just how I am, take it as a compliment you’re an alright guy for a Yankee.”

 

“Shut up,” I ordered playfully, but weakly shoving him on the shoulder as we walked down the road towards my house.

 

“You definitely will need some ice on that sucker,” Gavin said looking at my face again with a frown. “Tell me what it was about, Matt usually is a level headed guy.”

“It was nothing,” I repeated glaring at him with my only working eye. It hurt moving the muscles in my forehead as well.

 

“You hit on Kate didn’t you, you dog,” Gavin prodded shaking his head. “That girl is definitely spoken for, but at least you have better taste than Lacey.”

 

“Lacey is gorgeous,” I countered through my swollen bottom lip. “You should cut her some slack.”

 

“Like I said, all in good fun, if she has had enough she’d slap me or something,” Gavin answered, shrugging. “She knows I’m kidding, its why she fights back.”

 

“How socially awkward you are,” I mumbled seeing my house coming into view. My heart skipped when I saw Jonathon waiting on the front step. He watched us until he realized I was injured, then he stood and met us on the road.

 

“What the hell happened?” Jonathon asked then he shot a look to Gavin.

 

“Nothing,” I answered then I noticed that Gavin was about to tell him, “I fell.”

 

“You didn’t…” Gavin started, but I elbowed him in the stomach. Jonathon was too focused on me that he didn’t notice and then I noticed Gavin studying Jonathon’s reaction to me. “I’m going to go talk to Matt.”

 

“Why?” I asked shooting him a look.

 

“Copy his homework,” Gavin lied his eyebrows furrowed. “Oh and Christian you might want to dust the back of your pants off if you want to stick with that lie.”

 

“What?” Jonathon said turning me around to look at my back. I jumped when he lifted up my shirt and put is hand on a place that hurt, touching a forming bruise. “How in the world did you black your eye if you fell backwards?”

 

“I fell, ok,” I snapped, “go back home Jonathon, I’ll be ok.”

 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said opening the door and walking inside. I looked back at Gavin, who was still watching from the bottom of the stairs leading to the porch. He had definitely figured things out now, but unlike Matt he didn’t look sickened by the thought, but he didn’t look concerned either. He had the half-smirk on his face that he usually had when something amused him and I wondered what he had planned for Jonathon and I, knowing him now I knew it wouldn’t be good, but not all that bad either.